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Never Had an Orgasm? You’re Not The Only One


There’s no need to stress out if you have trouble having an orgasm. You’re not the only woman out there. According to a research in Annual Review of Sex Journal, not being able to have an orgasm is the second most reported sexual problem among young ladies. The first problem is lack or decrease of sexual desires.

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Based on an article in the American Family Physician, 4 to 7 percent of women suffer with women orgasmic disorder. Despite having high sexual desires, there is a lack of orgasm or deficiency to orgasm through any kind of stimulation.

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Not being able to orgasm during sex can lower your self-esteem. And makes you feel negatively towards yourself, as if you’re missing out on something important in life. Reportedly, most women feel irritated and annoyed because they feel they are not able to please their partner. But remember, if you have a loving and supportive partner, they will accept you for all your flaws. They will not make you feel guilty about not having an orgasm.

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Here is a guide that will help you understand why you are unable to have an orgasm.


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There could be a various reasons for not be able to orgasm. A few of them are discussed below:

1. Muscle problems- the most common are hyper or hypotonicity of pelvic floor muscles.

2. Neurology problems- such as injury or trauma cause to spinal cord or any nervous system disorders

3. Psychological problems- such as mood swings, depression, relationship problems or side effects of some medications.

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Try to discuss these problems with your partner or doctor and be aware of your body functions as it can also play a vital role.

Understanding Your Body:

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According to the American Psychological Association only 8 percent of women orgasm due to penile penetration alone. The reason behind this is that female orgasm is stimulated by the clitoris. The clitoris is a sensitive organ with thousands of nerve endings, located above the vulva and the vaginal opening. It is the stimulation of these nerves that enables women to have orgasms.

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Most women are not aware how the clitoris works. For some the clitoris is simply not simulated during sexual intercourse. While other might feel uncomfortable asking their partner to help them orgasm. According to APA reports, most heterosexual women fake an orgasm during sexual intercourse. The reason goes back in history when women were expected to orgasm during penile intercourse just to make their partner happy. Some women need more than just penile intercourse. A little climax and fun is all they hope for, but are too shy to ask.

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Carrying out your own diagnosis can be very difficult. But this shouldn’t stop you from seeking help. Both doctor and patient should feel comfortable in openly discussing the matter. Talking openly about your sexual problems can help you identify the medical problem and it’s treatment.

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This first step in identifying any problem is to first run a complete body examination, by checking the pelvic floor muscles and finding any obstacles that might be causing the disorder. Getting your hormone levels checked and signs of infections can also help eliminate any underlying problems.


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We’ll discuss the three easy ways to treat an orgasmic disorder.

1. Some women are able to have an orgasm only through masturbation. Penile intercourse does not work for them. Masturbation before intercourse helps them become comfortable with their bodies. After knowing their anatomy, they can discuss the situation with their partners and further include the techniques in their normal sex life.

2. Psychological behavioral therapies are also used to help patients overcome anxiety and relax during sex. Sometimes cultural and religious norms prevent a woman from exploring her own sexual preferences and pleasures. These therapies will eliminate thoughts interfering with her sexual life.

3. Sensate focus is a kind of therapy that guides both woman and her partner through a set of exercises that diverts them from non-sexual to sexual touching.

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Tips For Healthy Orgasm:

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Although it is suggested you should consult a doctor, there are some tips that will help you have an orgasm at home without having to seek professional help.

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1. Spend some time masturbating to get familiar with your own body and what pleases you sexually. You can then guide your partner to help you have a healthy orgasm.

2. Experiment with different sexual positions and use lubricants to help increase sexual tensions.

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3. Increase foreplay and make sure you include a lot of touching and massaging.

4. Make your experience interesting and fun by adding sex toys and set a time for sex where you discard all your worries and daily thoughts.

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Article By: Born Realist

The post Never Had an Orgasm? You’re Not The Only One appeared first on Born Realist.

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