“We all have come in contact with the flamboyant narcissist. Their self-absorption can’t be mistaken. But there is also the covert narcissist, who is not so easy to decipher.” ~ Maria Bogdanos
Equally destructive
Despite the outward differences between “flamboyant” and “covert” narcissists, the damage produced by both is pretty much the same.
In fact, the only difference between the two types of narcissists is the way in which they “go about their business.” Flamboyant narcissists are naïve enough to think no one will catch onto their mannerisms – and act accordingly.
Covert narcissists don their fake exterior deliberately and skillfully. The odds are that this type has a better understanding of human psychology, and attempts to use this knowledge to their benefit.
This article focuses on eight narcissistic behaviors that many people either (a) willfully ignore, or (b) don’t perceive.
8 Signs of Narcissism That Most People Ignore
1. Not bothering to care
Narcissists are infamous for simplifying or minimizing the needs of others. They don’t bother to explain the details of a situation (like when someone confronts them with empirical evidence of their condition).
Don’t expect the narcissist to care about anyone or anything but themselves.
2. Inability to listen
When a narcissist isn’t talking (a rare occurrence), they likely aren’t listening either. They’re all-too-eager to carry on nonsensically, but don’t expect them to tune in when it’s your turn to speak.
Focusing on what someone has to say requires a bit of effort and energy, which narcissists aren’t willing to give.
3. Improper communication
On a related note, narcissists are terrible communicators. They’re far too sensitive (read: frail) and take personal offense at the slightest perceived criticism.
They possess neither the need or desire to have a dialogue about anything that doesn’t benefit them. It’s common for narcissists to attempt to disguise their anger by not using words; instead opting to be passive-aggressive.
4. Unauthentic humility
As you know, narcissists are masters at pulling other people’s strings. On this note, they will often display false humility to bait the admiration of others.
Why?
Because the more people are drawn to them, the more options the narcissist has to do what they do best: manipulate.
5. Absence of empathy
Narcissists do not care about you. To them, you are just a means to an end.
Of all outward signs of narcissism, a lack of empathy is perhaps the most commonplace. If you’re ever unsure about someone’s intentions, just attempt to solicit a bit of sympathy.
You won’t find any, and your initial hypothesis will be proven correct. More importantly, you’ll save yourself a bit of heartache and frustration.
6. Their “intelligence.”
It’s funny how some narcissists will brag about their smarts – doing so even if no one else agrees. They attempt to come across as a know-it-all but often end up making a fool of themselves.
Worse, narcissists are almost impossible to collaborate with, as they consider themselves so much smarter and more insightful.
This isn’t to say that intelligent narcissists don’t exist – they most certainly do, but they’re smart enough not to broadcast it.
7. Sense of entitlement
When it comes to wanting something, a narcissist will often act like a 2-year old who wants his bottle. The narcissist should have something merely because they want it – and this is the only criteria.
It goes without saying that narcissists have no concept of merit and are always looking for the easy way out in any given situation.
8. A never-ending search for happiness
If there’s one thing to pity about a narcissist’s state of mind, it’s this: nothing can or will make them happy. Fame, money, power – you name it – it’s never enough.
Perhaps another thing to pity: any ordinary individual will turn to their loved ones for real happiness, which narcissists cannot do.
Final Thoughts
The article delivers some harsh words pertaining to the narcissistic personality. And some of these words are well-deserved from a personal point of view.
It is worth remembering, however, that narcissists are human beings with a genuine, medically-valid personality disorder. Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD) originates in childhood, which leaves a permanent void in the person’s heart.
More specifically, according to psychologists, narcissists are usually given too much attention or outright neglected during their early years. They’re programmed to behave as they do.
Most people will agree that emotional neglect is traumatizing, and experts agree. Whether we will ever reach a consensus opinion about being spoiled, however, remains to be seen.
It’s also important to understand that – while we can respect a narcissist’s humanity – we needn’t subject ourselves to their behavior. Your emotional, mental, and physical health must come first.
Provided that we pay attention, think rationally, and not jump to conclusions, we’ll have a pretty good idea who the real person is underneath.
(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
Sources:
http://fortune.com/2015/09/14/narcissist-work-toxic/
https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2016/04/30/5-signs-of-covert-narcissism/
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