Conflicts, arguments, and disagreements are bound to happen in the course of any relationship. Sometimes, it gets so bad that the discord escalates from a moderately annoying dispute to a full-blown heartbreak. You or your partner are bound to say harsh and hurtful things to the other that create obvious issues in your love paradise. And afterward, it can be challenging to return to your previous emotional intimacy.
While both physical and emotional bonds are instrumental in making any relationship healthy, after a fight, it can be quite challenging to want to share your body and emotions. Recovering from a bad conflict or any form of betrayal from your partner is a long healing process. It’s possible to get back to where your relationship was before the conflict or even make it better, but it requires patience and wisdom.
Which begs the question in this piece’s segment: How do you restore emotional intimacy in your relationship after a bad conflict? The experts in relationship matters will guide you through a few steps that can help you salvage your relationship and bring your partner closer.
Step to restoring emotional intimacy after you fight with your partner
Keep these things in mind as you move forward after an argument.
It starts with you
The need for change has to start from somewhere. You might want to begin the healing process from within yourself. Take some time to reflect on the happy times, the sad times, the mistakes, and begin to forgive yourself first.
Healing a broken relationship requires multiple gentle and open moves while thinking about your partner. Release all the anger and start working on committing to the relationship rather than trigger another argument. Avoid getting defensive, justifying your mistakes, and ignoring the real problem.
Change your mindset from blaming to forgiving and moving on. It will help you stay calmer.
Someone has to make the first move
As earlier discussed, healing a broken relationship requires gentleness and patience. It also needs someone to save that relationship, drop the ego, and take the responsibility of protecting it. It’s common for both parties to feel like the other party needs to admit to their mistake.
You will need some wisdom to overcome this challenging phase where you get to make the first move. If you are the voice of reason in your relationship, then it’s your responsibility to approach your partner and remind them of your attachments and connections. Consider making the first move when things are calm, and when your partner seems to be in the right mood.
Communication is paramount
Therapists insist for the longest time now, that communication and comprehension work hand in hand in a relationship. Looking at things, you could spend the entire day communicating with your partner about your feelings and thoughts, but if they don’t understand you, it’s all void. Choose a time when your partner is in the mood to communicate and reach an understanding with you.
You could begin this talking phase by hinting at it and let them prepare to discuss and let out their emotions when the time comes. When the time is right, communicate openly about the disagreement. Try to be calm and honest about what you feel. In most cases, conflicts don’t come up because of one event but a culmination of build-up emotions.
The only way you and your partner get to move on from the full-blown heartbreak is through communicating. Get to understand what your partner has been going through. Let them see your troubles and heartbreak through your eyes too.
Apologize and let it go
It takes two to tango; both you and your partner need to acknowledge your mistakes and feel sorry for the wrongdoings. Apologize to your partners after accepting your mistakes and give them the chance to do the same thing. You can only move to the next step if both of you forgive each other and accept to let it go.
What is next?
Now that you are past the worst, you might want to solve the problems that caused the conflict to avoid a repeat of the fight. How did the conflict come about? Was it a lack of quality time? Perhaps a lack of communication? Maybe your intoxication and abuse of alcohol led you to blow things that hurt your partner.
Whatever the reason, it doesn’t matter now after you have already forgiven each other and promised to work on the shortcomings. Focus on coming up with a solution to solve the problem at hand. You might decide to see a relationship therapist or perhaps support your partner and enroll them for rehab.
What if the conflicts keep recurring?
Fighting fair is also another effective strategy that helps you improve your communication and prevents another harsh fight. The approach focuses on attacking the mutual problem eating into your relationship, rather than each other. Just because you’ve moved on, doesn’t mean other conflicts won’t erupt.
Nonetheless, it takes wisdom to know how to approach the conflict and when to unleash the tactics. Downplaying the disputes won’t solve the problem. Consider contacting an expert for great fighting fair tactics that will help you stick to the mission.
Time to restore that bond
With all the burden lifted, this should be the right time to work on your lost or weakened bond. Without a doubt, the healing process is a painful process that requires effort, patience, time, love, and lots of forgiveness. Try not to bring up things from the past; it only makes the process harder.
Numerous ways can help you restore the bond in your relationship. For instance, you could go back into memory lane and do the things you both loved to do in the past. Practice regular date nights together, go to movies, or even cook a meal together. Instead of focusing on the conflict moments in your relationship, you could drive your energy into having fun together and recreating those wonderful memories.
Move onto emotional intimacy
Emotional intimacy revolves around so much more than sex. Someone had to say it. Work on reconnecting with one another intimately through using non-sexual methods.
We promise, it’s not going to get boring, and it only gets better. Emotional intimacy entails having deep conversations with one another and enjoying the quality time just between you two. Find unique ways to express your love and appreciation through cuddling, hugging, kissing, touching, and admiring one another.
Through these tips, you will make a great way to reconnect with your partner physically and sexually. It all starts with the emotions first.
Give yourself time
Like we said a little earlier, healing takes time and patience. You can’t just dive into where you left and proceed smoothly. Reconnecting intimately after the bond with your partner was broken will take time.
The last thing you want after coming this far is struggling to create a sexual connection with them because you haven’t built intense emotional intimacy. You might want to start working on trusting your partner again and avoid forcing the process. There isn’t one timeline that defines when you are ready for the next level.
Every relationship, situation, and individual is different. Consider communicating your own healing process with your partner and let them know how you feel every step of the way. When the time is right, you will know.
Seek to find a balance between your relationship and yourself
The strongest relationships are made of two interdependent partners striving to be together against all the odds. As you continue to heal, don’t lose yourself to the relationship. Before you two met, you had your hobbies, a social life, and a professional life; don’t tamper with that.
Ensure that you take care of yourself as much as you strive to take care of your partner and his or her feelings. Allow your spouse to do the same and then come together as a strong, trusting, and secure couple. Again, remember to employ fighting fair whenever an issue comes up, and when an unhealthy argument is about to blow up.
Emotional intimacy doesn’t happen immediately
Nothing good is built overnight. Therapists can’t necessitate this enough. We understand that words hurt, actions replay in your mind, being in love is a risk, and nothing is certain, including restoring emotional intimacy to its previous settings.
It’s important to understand that repairing and redeeming your emotional intimacy with your partner will take time. Before it gets better, there will be tears, spoiled days, and rough nights. However, don’t get discouraged; you will get there with the right amount of effort, energy, hope, and positivity.
Continue finding your way around your partner and work on restoring your romantic side. Intimacy soon follows after everything else is in place. Remember, forgiving, forgetting, and moving on is your relationship’s strongest motto.
Final thoughts on restoring emotional intimacy after a fight
The basis of any strong relationship is an emotional connection. By being gentle, loving, mindful, and caring, you will eventually make yourself a better partner. It starts with you.
Once you’ve made a safe haven for your partner to open up and be a better partner, you will be on the right track to saving your relationship. It’s the little things that count.