Behaviors

Genuine integrity is rare today. Social media flaunts self-congratulatory tweets and finger-pointing posts. When you meet someone humble, honest, and kind, you take notice.

Genuine integrity has been defined as being honest with strong moral principles or uprightness. People with these qualities make a statement without trying. You want to be around them because they inspire you to be a better person yourself.

Why is integrity important?

Integrity is a person’s moral compass. It’s how you live your life. It guides you in everything you do, whether it’s in your family, faith, work, or school. If you have integrity in your life, you’ll be more peaceful and happy because you aren’t trying to be someone you’re not. Integrity helps you in life in many ways. Here is a list of some ways integrity helps you.

• Being a guide for your life decisions-When you make decisions. Integrity will keep you from making bad decisions. You’ll follow your convictions, and they will keep you on track to make good choices.
• Other people will trust you-You will gain others’ trust because they know you’re a truthful and trustworthy person.
• Clear conscious– There’s nothing better than having a clear conscious. Lying, stealing, or cheating brings stress and anxiety about getting caught.
• Opportunities to lead others-If you’ve proven yourself to have integrity, it will open opportunities to help or lead others. This isn’t because you’re a perfect person, but you have some leadership qualities that you can pass on to others. It’s an honor to help others, and having integrity allows you the chance to get involved in other’s lives.

Traits and behaviors of a person of genuine integrity

Here is a list of traits and behaviors you’ll see when you’re around a person of integrity. It’s not an exhaustive list, but a good beginning. Hopefully, this list will inspire you and enable you to take a step towards living a life of genuine integrity without fear.

1. Humble people

People with genuine integrity are humble people. They are not arrogant and have a modest estimate of themselves. They don’t think they’re more important than others. A humble person  also does these things:

2. Honest about their mistakes

People with genuine integrity are honest when they make mistakes. They don’t blame shift or make excuses for themselves. They admit they’re wrong and take the heat appropriately. A person with integrity does not play the victim or feel sorry for themselves. They understand that making mistakes is a very human thing to do and don’t get all bent out of shape when mistakes happen. Their honesty makes it easy for others to admit their mistakes without feeling judged.

3. Don’t draw attention to themselves.

When you’re with a person who has genuine integrity, you may not be aware of their title or position. They don’t flaunt who they are or what they do. They treat everyone with equal respect without trying to draw attention to their achievements.  It’s refreshing to work or hang out with someone like this. They’re secure and just being themselves.

4. Open to correction

If you correct a person with integrity, they will listen to you. They may even thank you for correcting them. They won’t get defensive or angry. They’ll admit they’re not a perfect person, and that it’s hard to hear correction. But they take real correction to heart and will evaluate themselves to see if what you’re saying is correct. Where they need to change, they will make an effort to improve.

5. You trust them

You can trust a person of integrity. They don’t act one way sometimes then change at other times. They are consistently the same, staying dependable and steadfast. Additionally, they keep their word to you, and if they don’t, they will apologize. What you see is what you get with them, and this builds your trust in them.

6. They’re not hypocritical.

People with integrity don’t hold you to one standard and attach themselves to another. They practice what they preach. They aren’t haughty or point their fingers at others because they think others should be like them. They’re fun people to be around because you feel like you can be yourself around them. You feel entirely accepted for who you are around them.

7. They say sorry

Believe it or not, saying you are sorry is hard. Like the joke about not being able to even spell the word R-O-N-G (wrong), humans don’t like to admit they’re wrong.  But people with integrity aren’t afraid to say they’re sorry. Whether it’s your boss or your parent, when they agree they are wrong is a true sign that they are a genuinely real person.

8. They take responsibility

People with genuine integrity are refreshingly candid about their mistakes. They don’t defend themselves or attempt to minimize what happened. They don’t play the victim card, getting all moody about what they’ve done. People with integrity also show maturity and the ability to own up to stuff without a major meltdown or revengeful attitude.

9. A person with integrity wants to grow and change.

They listen to others because they want to learn and change. And they love to learn no matter how old they are. They don’t need to surround themselves with people like themselves because they’re comfortable in their skin. Moreover, they can listen to new ideas without being intimidated.  People with integrity like to learn from other people because they know they don’t know everything. They have a thirst for learning and growing in every season of life.

10. They can laugh at themselves.

People who have genuine integrity aren’t afraid of joking around. They don’t mind when you poke fun at them. They’re able to tease you back but not in a vindictive, angry way. They have an agreeable ability to laugh at themselves because they aren’t too proud to make fun of themselves. This kind of person has a good sense of humor but would never make fun of someone in a hurtful manner. They don’t use humor that is cutting or divisive.

How to become a person with genuine integrity

If you have genuine integrity, you live by your convictions and doing what’s right not because you want anyone to acknowledge you for it, but because it’s important to you. You’re true to yourself,  even when other people don’t understand or make fun of you for it.

Here are some examples of ways to become a person of integrity in your daily life:

• Try to keep your promises even if you need to make sacrifices to keep them.
• Don’t gossip about people
• Be faithful in small things and big things
• Don’t spread secrets about people
• If you find something that doesn’t belong to you, look for the owner
• Be willing to take the blame for things you do
• At work, don’t take extra breaks
• Respect your co-workers, boss, and other workers
• Treat others the way you want to be treated
• Don’t steal items like pens, paper, or other materials from work
• Be a good team player
• Acknowledge other people’s achievements
• Don’t compromise on work; do the entire job required by your boss or company.

Final Thoughts on Leading a Life Filled with Integrity

The world needs people of genuine integrity.  Honesty, trustworthiness, and humility never go out of style. These people inspire and challenge us to led better lives. Today, it’s trendy to mock people with integrity. In movies and television shows, they’re the annoying, peculiar person who is no fun to be around.

Of course, in real life, these people with genuine integrity aren’t like that. If you want to have more integrity in your life, don’t worry about what others think about you. You can begin to live a life that demonstrates real integrity today and enjoy the rewards of knowing you are following our convictions, not what others think about you.

Are you a control freak? Chances are that if you have controlling ways, you don’t even realize the way you act. You probably believe that you are offering advice or constructive criticism to others that is necessary, but you don’t see your methods as dictating.

Do you tend to take over projects because you feel like no one else will do them right or as good as you? Controlling people have inner fears that they don’t know how to process, and they’re plagued with irrational thoughts.

The need to control comes from internal problems. These people feel weak, inferior, or not needed, so they must manage every aspect of their life. Do you or someone you love have issues with being controlling? Here are some signs that can help you to relate.

1. They Must Have the Last Word

A person with a controlling nature tends to be a know it all. Though they don’t say it, they believe that they are more intelligent and educated than everyone around them. They will never let you win an argument because they can’t be wrong.

These are the people that must always have the last word, and if they don’t get the final word in a conversation, then they will feel that the situation is unresolved. When trouble arises, they want to be the one who comes up with the solution. Being superior in everyone’s eyes is essential for their ego.

2. Their Schedule is the Only One That Matters

Do you get angry when there is the slightest change in your plans? One of the main signs that someone has a control issue is that they want everything done according to their schedule’s needs. Other prominent symptoms include having everything in place at home, and things must be done their way or the highway.

3. Correcting People is Essential

Errors are not allowed in a controlling person’s life. If a blunder should happen around this person, they will feel compelled to point out the error. Mistakes and things going wrong makes them feel extremely anxious, angry, and frustrated.

Whenever you’re in the presence of a control freak, they will use this as an opportunity to correct you or point out your wrongs. They won’t hesitate to let you know about anything you do that is incorrect, even sending misspelled words on a text. They won’t mind embarrassing you in public if it means making themselves look superior to you.

If they should find something you do as an error, you will never hear the end of it. Sadly, they don’t want to see you improve your life, so their advice isn’t coming from the right place. Rather, they want to show how they are exceptional in all ways, as they’re always right.

4. They Don’t Delegate

Controlling every situation is hard work, but these people aren’t good at delegation. They feel compelled to do everything themselves as they think no one else is qualified. These behaviors stem from trust issues.

If they should delegate a task, then they feel that it won’t be done with the same expertise that they can do it. Even if they should ask for help, they will probably show you how to do it and end up doing it all anyway. Or, they can also delegate a task and then pick apart the work you do.

A control freak will go over something time and again looking for errors. You may hear them make remarks like, “Am I the only person who can get things done right around here?”

5. They Want to Change Others

A control freak believes that they know the best way for everyone, and they tend to be a bit narcissistic. They want everything done their way, and they are not against using manipulation tactics to accomplish their goal. They are superior at micromanaging others as they have a strict set of expectations.

Sometimes this person comes off as forceful when things aren’t done their way. They use passive-aggressive tactics to discourage you from doing things that they don’t approve of. Their words of advice come off as they care about you when they only want you to conform to their methods.

6. They’re Not Team Players

Working as a team player can be hard when you are controlling. Individuals working as a group doesn’t allow the control freak to assert their authority. These people are usually the leaders in any group, and they will dictate how others in the unit should behave.

7. They’re Moody

You may notice mood fluctuations if you or someone you love is a control freak. The mood swings come from being on edge and stressed out about frustrations in life. Remember, these people have underlying insecurities that cause them to feel chronic failures. Their desire for perfection can take them to the breaking point.

8. They’re Judgement and Critical

You will find that control freaks are judgmental and critical. There’s almost nothing they don’t have an opinion about. They don’t view their thoughts as thoughts, but they are fact.

Anyone who doesn’t agree with the person who must control every situation is wrong. No one can ever live up to their high expectations, and even if they try, they will find a reason to criticize it. People may view this person as hypocritical.

In defense of the controlling person, they have no control over their demeaning methods. It’s an instinct, and they don’t know any other way. Many people will see them as negative, so having a relationship with them seems to be impossible.

9. They Will Never Admit They’re Wrong

One of the most annoying traits of a controlling problem is that they will never admit that they are wrong. Even if they have been caught, getting them to realize it is next to impossible. Rather, this person will shift the blame onto others to make themselves look good.

While they won’t hesitate to call you out on your wrongdoings, when the shoe is on the other foot, they can’t take criticism. Their bruised and frail ego must be protected, so admitting they’ve done wrong will never happen. They worry about how others perceive them, so they will never admit a mistake even if they’re caught.

10. They Micromanage Others

Do you need to know what everyone is always doing around you? If so, then you are probably a controlling person. As a manager, this individual needs to be copied on every email and take the time to read each one. They are often demanding and will stop at nothing to have their expectations met.

11. They’re Perfectionists

Controlling every situation often makes these folks a perfectionist. They fear what others think about them, so the quest for perfection is driven by the desire to be superior. They must achieve flawlessness in their eyes so that others also see them that way.

The only way they can accomplish this goal is by controlling every aspect of their life. Their lawn must be the most manicured and greenest on the block, and they will only drive the latest and greatest automobiles. It’s all about keeping other’s perceptions in superior lighting.

Final Thoughts on Dealing with the Control Freak in Your Life

It’s easy to be resentful of people who are controlling. Someone who is controlling is fighting inner demons that you cannot see. Do you see some of these characteristics in your life?

The need to control almost always comes from previous traumas that have left a person vulnerable. They may have been abused as a child and have developed coping mechanisms to get through adulthood. How others view them is extremely important to these folks because they felt inferior and substandard somewhere in their lives.

If someone you love is displaying these manipulative behaviors, then you need to talk to them. The longer these behaviors continue, the more resentment you will build towards this individual. If you find that you have these cunning ways, then you should explore the reasons why.

Belittling people and exerting control over others are signs that a fundamental issue must be handled. Thankfully, a controlling person can tackle the problems that bother them and learn to let go of the need for perfection.

Life is not perfect, nor will it ever be. There are always going to be things that are beyond your control. However, you can learn coping skills to handle these situations in a positive manner. You don’t want to hurt or belittle people as it only cuts down their self-worth.

When things feel like they are out of control, it’s okay to ask for help. It’s also okay to admit when you think that you’re in over your head or that you don’t know how to do something. People don’t look at others as inferior when they need assistance; rather, they look at them as human beings.

Victim mentality refers to a state of continually feeling as though the world has wronged you. This mindset often comes with a self-centered view. Worse, it indicates that every bad thing that occurs stems from something that is “out to get you.”

This way of thinking is extremely unhealthy and toxic. Furthermore, it’s unfortunately common among those who have been at the hands of abuse or other toxic situations. Still, dealing with someone who continually considers themselves a victim can be draining. Moreover, it is not something you have to put up with. Here are four behaviors that reveal someone is acting like a victim.

1.      They Have Lots Of Negative Self-Talk

Low expectations of oneself and a habit of “putting oneself down” are surefire signs that someone has a victim mentality. People who do this usually end up with a “why bother?” approach to life, simply not caring enough to do things for themself. They instead rely upon other people to do something for them, draining the energy of those who try to help. Negative self-talk causes people to expect failure, and positive thinking is nearly impossible for them.

·         Negative Self-Talk

Those who have a victim mentality often believe that the challenges they face are direct reflections of their inability. This idea usually becomes internalized, with thoughts such as “I’m just unlucky, nothing I do works” and “Why bother, I can’t succeed anyways.” becoming a core part of their psyche.

The more negative events happen, the more deeply these beliefs are entrenched in the outlook of the victim. Eventually, they will become unable to get back up again after being knocked over because they erode their self-confidence with constant negative self-talk.

·         Self-Sabotage

Usually, self-sabotage links closely to negative self-talk. Through constant negative self-talk, the victim begins to believe that they are simply unfavored by fortune.. And so they start to sabotage their actions to reinforce that belief subconsciously.

However, positive self-talk has the opposite effect – the person begins to believe they can succeed, and so they do reach for the stars. This confidence is the basis of the adage “fake it ’til you make it.”

·         No Self-Confidence

A lack of self-confidence is another sign of a victim mentality. Those who view themselves as victims may think things such as “I’m not good enough to get a better job” or “I’m not smart enough to succeed.”

This mentality may prevent the victim from even attempting to improve and develop, causing their lives to become stagnant, which causes further self-victimization.

·         A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

A person with a victim mentality may, through force of will, attempt to improve. Usually, this results in them breaking through their self-imposed limits through positive thinking and becoming free.

However, if the victim fails, their mentality may become worse. The failure maybe because they expect to fail. This mindset sets up a self-fulfilling prophecy through self-sabotage. Their negative outlook may make it difficult for them to envisage a scenario in which they succeed, meaning that many victims cannot succeed simply because they don’t believe they can.

2.      They Compare Everything

Those who have a victim mentality often compare themselves to others, for various reasons. Often, they exaggerate differences between themselves and others, claiming that they are disadvantaged or that another person has it much better than them. These people loathe acknowledging that they are not as badly off as they think they are.

·         They Criticize Everything

Those who have a victim mentality frequently put others down in addition to putting themselves down by comparing others to an impossible ideal instead of appreciating how things are. This communication is similar to negative self-talk but directed at others. This dialogue occurs because the victim feels pleasure and a sense of superiority from masking their insecurities with insults and criticism of others.

To be more positive, the victim should instead take their energy and build others up, instead of tearing them down – what goes around, comes around!

·         They Are Always Comparing Themselves To Others

The victim may also compare themselves to others, usually viewing themselves in a pitying and negative light. They perceive their flaws as much more significant and debilitating than they are, and ignore others’ shortcomings. This thinking provides a platform for the victim to claim that life is simply unfair to them.

The truth is that everyone has some flaws, but everyone also has their strengths. To think more positively, the victim should try to recognize that they have their talents and abilities, and use them to their full potential.

·         They View Their Life As Lacking

A person with a victim mentality will usually look for the worst aspects of an event – be pessimistic, in other words. Instead of enjoying what they have, someone with a victim mentality frequently compares reality to what may be. This causes bitterness and resentment when the victim should be celebrating.

The victim ignores the positive sides of what’s happening and focuses exclusively on what’s missing. The victim then complains about what’s missing, then complains about complaining because of their negative self-talk, and so on. This is a very vicious cycle and only through positive thinking can one break free from a victim mentality and see the brighter side of life, and truly appreciate what one has.

3.      They Never Take Responsibility

Never taking responsibility is a classic sign of a victim mentality. The victim refuses to accept the possibility that they contributed to their problems, preferring to cast the blame on others instead. They deflect any accusations or suggestions that they are responsible for their issues and ignore that they contribute to their problems. The victim does not overtly say that they are a victim of circumstances, but they instead indirectly suggest that they are.

Often, bad things do happen, even to people who have done nothing to deserve them. Everybody is likely to face at least some difficulties in their lives that are not of their own doing, but those who face many challenges usually begin to believe that the world is “out for them.” This may become a self-fulfilling prophecy, and this often results in the victim refusing to take any responsibility for their circumstances when they are the only person to blame for their failure.

Losing jobs is an excellent example of this mindset.

People frequently lose jobs through no fault of their own, as the company merely is laying off employees. However, it is also the case that there might also be underlying factors in play. For example, the employee may have lost their job because they are the least productive amongst their peers, or have a poor attitude. Someone who refuses to acknowledge these underlying factors is someone who cannot grow as a person, unless they change their perspective and embrace positive thinking, instead of feeling entitled.

In life, every happening is an opportunity to learn and improve. People with a victim mindset cannot see this, and instead, cause themself to believe that they are entirely innocent and that they are a victim of circumstances. If the victim stops deflecting blame, the victim will become a more positive person and will be able to avoid similar situations in the future.

4.      They Are Stuck

Someone with a victim mentality is usually stuck in the past. They view themselves as unable to enact change, or that the effort required to change isn’t worth the outcome. Therefore, they make no attempts to improve or advance in their life, instead preferring to embrace familiarity and stagnancy. The victim always makes excuses for why they’re stuck. That’s because they blame external factors such as family or the economy. Rarely do they admit that they simply aren’t willing to put the effort in to improve.

The victim refuses to let the past go, instead deciding to hold onto grudges and past grievances like a concealed weapon. They play a grievance like a card when someone tries to hold the victim accountable for something. The victim will usually bring up the past as an excuse for why they cannot change. This prevents the victim from moving on with their life, as they are shackled to the past and mired in memories. They can release themself by:

·         Letting Go Of Grudges

By letting go of their grudges, the victim can finally heal and improve. Being positive instead of bitter is one of the only ways to learn from mistakes and become a better person.

Bitterness is just holding the victim back and preventing them from moving on with their life. This anger does nothing to hurt the people who the grudges are against. Whilst this may be difficult, seeing a therapist may help the victim get out of their negative mentality. Counseling might help them embrace a more positive way of thinking.

·         Ceasing Blame

Blaming others removes control from the victim, whilst letting go of the past returns it to the victim. Getting their power and control back allows the victim to escape from their self-imposed prison and enjoy life again. So releasing the pent-up resentment is one of the best ways for a victim to get back on track and start living in the present again.

If the victim brings up the past, hold them accountable for their flaws and actions. Also, try to convince them to hold themselves accountable, too.

·         Being Aware Of Small Efforts and Results

The victim needs to be aware that even a small effort can yield an enormous improvement, instead of believing that trying is useless. To help the victim, help the person make a shortlist of small, achievable goals that they can make to get on track to a healthier mindset.

Final Thoughts On Some Behaviors That Reveal Someone Is Acting Like A Victim

People who play the victim with regularity are often passing on the toxicity from their former experiences onto their current relationships. Though many of these issues come from understandable and sympathetic causes, that doesn’t excuse current behaviors of entitlement or negativity.

Being able to recognize when someone is acting like a victim can help you avoid difficult situations with regular victim-players. You are under no obligation to do so. However, you can also help them to overcome their victimhood with some of the methods outlined with each behavior. Just remember to keep your own mental health in check before attending to the needs of others!

Life is hard enough without having a negative person always around putting down you and everyone else. You want a friend that can pick you up and make you feel better about yourself and situations. Additionally, relationships can never be one-sided. You need someone that cares as much about what you have to say as you care about them. A manipulator is a master at the game.

It may be exceedingly difficult for you to identify their character from your first meeting. However, the best way to spot someone who uses manipulation is by the way they make you feel.

Usually, the process goes on, and you’ve become so trapped in their lives that you don’t know how to cut ties and run. Though you want to get away, these people will do anything they can to keep you entangled into their web. Sadly, one of the biggest problems with becoming involved with this person is that they won’t let you go.

They continue to use their games and tricks to keep you entwined in their messy life. If you are involved with a person that you think maybe manipulating you, then here are some signs.

10 Behaviors That Reveal a Manipulator

1. They Justify Their Actions

If you are involved with a toxic person, then they make all their wrongdoings seem like the only option they had. They have a way of winning you over because they make you feel that they made the right decision.

The problem is that most of them aren’t truly listening to what you had to say, they just want you to see their point of view regardless of what you think or feel.

2. They Play The “Dumb” Card

Toxic people need constant help, and they will drain the energy right out of you. When someone calls them out on it, they will act like they haven’t the faintest clue what you are talking about.

If they solicit your advice about a situation and you give them an answer they don’t like, they may take the stance that they can make whatever choices they want as it’s their life. They would never value your advice anyway as it might damage their high self-confidence level.

3. They Lie and Tell Half-Truths

A half-truth is a whole lie. A manipulative person will use the truth to their advantage. They will leave out the information that might expose them or their misdeeds. They justify this in their mind feeling that it’s better than just lying straightforward.

They will skirt the truth more than a person facing a life sentence in a court of law. They don’t want to pay for their crimes or have themselves exposed as anything less than perfect. Remember, at the crux of most of these people’s lives is trauma that has changed their brain patterns. Some might say it’s a defense mechanism.

4. They Will Put You on A Guilt Trip

A manipulator loves to put you on a guilt trip by making themselves look innocent. If you’re busy with work or your family and don’t have time for this person, they can turn on the guilt and try to make you feel that you’re not there when they need you.

Many people find that they put their own needs on the back burner to attend to this toxic person and their desires. The schemer needs someone to give them advice and soothe their guilty conscience, which they are not going to listen too anyway.

5. They Redirect and Change the Subject Often

All the lies that the con artist tells you will come back and bite them at some point. If you confront them on something they have said or done, they will try to change the subject into something else. Their goal is to steer the conversation to what they want to talk about and their needs.

Even if you start to talk about your life, they will quickly change the subject back to themselves. Though they may like having you listen to them, their needs are the only ones that they care about fulfilling.

6. They Are Full of Insults About Others

Some people don’t like to be around a manipulator because they are rude and sometimes abrasive. It’s not the same kind of fun that you would have when you are poking at someone. Instead, they take their jabs and blatant insults to the extreme level, and it seems that they don’t know how or when to stop.

They often use this uncouthly tactic when they are in a social setting. They are like a high school bully that still loves to make fun of others and make others feel smaller than them by using harsh words. They are not an excellent person to hang around within a social environment.

7. They Play the Victim

A manipulator loves to turn things around and make themselves the victim. They can talk or guilt you into doing or buying something that you wouldn’t ever consider. The fact is that they are using you, and they are not a true friend.

Their lies only have one goal: to manipulate you to give them what they want. They may borrow money, ask you to buy things for them, or even ask you to babysit or do other significant tasks consistently.

8. They Alienate Many People

Because a manipulator is a bully, they will often have few friends. Additionally, they may have few family members that are involved in their life either. When they spread rumors, call names, and act immaturely, it causes many people to alienate themselves from them.

There are many different ways that a person establishes their dominance. The sad fact is that this person is suffering from low self-esteem and needs to make others feel bad to make themselves feel good.

9. They Always Blame Others

Should you ever have a concern about this person or their behaviors, you will find that they blame someone else for the issue. It’s always someone else’s fault. It can be mind-numbing trying to deal with a person that will not accept any guilt.

These people are so adamant that they are innocent that even if you catch them red-handed, they will still find someone else to blame. Schemers are faultless.

10. They Can Turn on You Quickly

While you may like the person who has manipulative ways, don’t ever think that they are your friend. If you don’t see things their way at any time, they can turn on you in an instant.

They will use any dirt they have learned about you to make you take the fall for ending your relationship. Remember, they are not capable of loving and having a healthy connection with anyone until they get help.

Comebacks for The Manipulator

If you are in a situation where you have no choice but to deal with a manipulative person, then you may want to learn some techniques to handle them. Here are a few things you can say to put them in their place kindly.

1. Use the Words “I Need”

“I need you to stop insulting me, and you will speak to me with kindness, or we won’t speak at all.” By using the term “I need,” you are throwing them for a loop. They see everything in this world revolves around their wants and needs, so when you turn the tables, you will show them how you expect to be treated.

2. Give Directions with the Words “You Need.”

A great way to put someone in check is to tell them that their emotional state is off. When you start any sentence with “You need,” then they are going to listen. A manipulative person doesn’t want to hear about what they need to do.

You should let them know that you are not going to engage in their behaviors unless they calm the fear or anger down.

3. Say Nothing at All

If you find that a person has crossed ethical barriers and has made you feel bad, then the best thing to do is walk away. You could stand there and defend yourself, but you’re wasting your breath.

They have a skewed view of the world where everyone is against them. They promote themselves from within to make up for this low self-worth. Sometimes, you say it best when you say absolutely nothing at all.

Final Thoughts on Handling a Manipulator

It’s difficult dealing with a manipulator. You want to be their friend and try to like them, but they give you 101 reasons to walk the other way. If you have no choice and the manipulator is a relative or colleague, then using some of the techniques above can help you to put their behavior in check.

Life is hard enough without having a negative person always around putting down you and everyone else. You want a friend that can pick you up and make you feel better about yourself and situations. Additionally, relationships can never be one-sided. It would be best if you had someone who cared about what you have to say as you care about them.

Bitter people are hard to live with; they lash out at everyone around them. People wonder how to spot bitterness. So, what are ten behaviors that reveal a bitter person? And how do you cope with them?

It’s easy to spot a bitter person once you learn their tell-tale poor behaviors.

10 Red Flags of A Negative and Bitter Person

1 – Lack gratefulness

Bitter people feel cheated by life. Even if they have a great experience, they won’t express gratitude. The glass is always half-empty. They will not express thanks for their family or friends, their home, or their job because there’s still something wrong with each of these things. Something or someone has disappointed them, and that looms larger than their blessings.

How to cope with an ungrateful person:

Remember, this person isn’t a terrible person. Instead, they feel overloaded with emotions they can’t unravel. Kindness and patience will make them feel like you are a real friend.

2 – Cynical

Cynicism is mistrust and suspicion. You can’t make a bitter person happy. In their eyes, you’ll  fall short in doing what they “expected.” They will say something like, “I’m not surprised; it’s what people always do to me.” They’re like a dark cloud on a sunny day. Their cynicism overshadows everything they do and say.

How to cope with the cynic in your life:

It may take your bitter friend or colleague a while to trust you. They may even push you away at first, but be persistent. Don’t let their bitterness pull you down, stand firm in who you are. Your bitter friend no doubt has suffered, and they’re lashing out. So, be emphatic towards them without being drawn into their bitterness.

3 –  Bitter people hold a grudge

It’s normal for you to have a misunderstanding with someone, but you can work it out and then let it go. You don’t hold grudges. Even if you can’t agree on a solution, you’ll let it go since you don’t want to spend your time or energy holding on to a grudge. But bitter people can’t let go of things. They become obsessed with their grudges and the people who have wronged them.

How to cope with resentful feelings of others:

Don’t agree with their assessment of other people. If they want to vent their anger, tell them you disagree in a kind but firm voice.  Show them you aren’t entering into their bitterness trap.

4 – Jealousy

Bitter people are jealous of others who they perceive are getting what they deserve.

 Studies found that your emotions influence your judgment. Participants were first made to feel love, then asked to rate different candies and chocolate as sweet or bitter. The participants who felt love rated the candies and chocolates as very sweet. But the participants who experienced jealousy said the candy and chocolate were less pleasing.

Bitterness influences a person’s perception. They become jealous when their friends or co-workers talk about a recent success, a new home, or their promotion. They can’t stand it that others receive things they want or think they should have.

How to cope:

It’s not a good idea to share personal things with a bitter person. Their jealousy will turn into gossiping about you to others, putting you in a bad light. Keep your conversations shallow and upbeat.

5 – They are vocal about their bitterness

Bitter people aren’t private about their anger. They let everyone know that their life is unfair. They’re looking for someone to agree with them so they can justify their feelings. Their bitterness spills out onto others, like acid tainting anyone’s good mood. Working with a bitter person is exhausting because they suck all the life out of you by continually complaining and bemoaning their lot in life.

How to cope:

Don’t get dragged into their bitterness rant. If the person has become more of a friend to you when you are alone with them, bring up to them how they sound, their propensity to be angry and bitter. It could be that no one has ever pointed this out to them and shared it humanely.

6 – Blame shifting

A bitter person blames others for their circumstances rather than accept responsibility. They will set themselves up as the “ideal worker” or “ideal parent.”

Others will be the ones who have caused problems at work or ruined their kids, but not the bitter person.

They have no responsibility because they feel like the victim. Indeed, they are the sufferer (in their minds). Also, this person won’t take responsibility for their angry, bitter emotions. They justify their blame-shifting with abusive language.

They’ll say things like, “I wouldn’t have to do this if she did her job!” or “She made me so mad I could have hit her.”

One study found that people who blame shift want to save face, to conceal their role.

How to cope with a person who refuses to accept accountability:

Refuse to accept the blame, stand your ground in an emphatic voice and manner. Don’t get dragged into their blame-shifting of others either.

7 – Irritable and annoyed

Bitter people always find something to complain about. Something or someone annoys them. Nothing is ever right in their life. They’ll complain about people at work, their family and people at stores.

In their minds, their co-workers aren’t doing their jobs, and their kids aren’t working hard enough at school, and clerks at the store aren’t competent. Irritation and annoyance is a daily emotion for a bitter person.

How to cope:

You’ll notice what triggers a bitter person’s annoyance and irritation. You may need to avoid doing things that irritate them within reason. Some people can’t stand being joked with or teasing. But don’t be afraid of a bitter person, but if you know something pushes their buttons, try to refrain from doing it.

8 – Won’t like it if you’re positive and cheerful

If you try to cheer up a bitter person, be ready for a backlash. Angry people find cheerful, positive people irritating. Your positivity casts a light on their anger and resentment. They don’t want to own these emotions so that they will react.

They’ll ignore you or spew gossip about you to others. You’ve trod on their bitter turf, and they don’t like it. They may gossip about you to feel better about themselves. Angry people want to squash your happiness. It’s a form of manipulation to get you to be like them.

How to cope:

A bitter person needs to see that not everyone is like them. They need someone to stand up to them. Even if they don’t like cheerfulness or positivity, it is affecting them. Be positive, and don’t feel bad about it. Your identity isn’t in the bitter person’s opinion of you. If they don’t like you or gossip about you, let it roll off your shoulders. They’re miserable, but you don’t need to be.

9 – Can’t congratulate others

Bitter people find it hard to tell someone they’re doing a good job unless they are seeking approval. They do have their moments of being sweet to people they want to impress. They will often go out of their way to acknowledge a boss. But people they see as less important are worthless to them, so they will rarely admit good work or accomplishments.

How to cope with someone who cannot (or will not) celebrate your victories:

Don’t try to balance out your bitter friend’s destructive emotions. If you have a good relationship, point out your angry friend’s lack of congratulation or being happy for others. Often, they don’t realize how they come across because no one has ventured into their bitterness to point out the truth to them.

10 –  Bitter people make sweeping assumptions

A bitter person’s irritations and anger display hostility. They make generalizations about people and situations, lumping everyone together. They carry prejudices, judge others, and cast themselves in an excellent light.

Studies show that such anger and hostility that a bitter person holds can affect their health. Doctors found those who are anger and aggressiveness could cause heart problems, diabetes, car accidents, or bulimia.

How to cope with people who make inaccurate assumptions:

Be emphatic without being drawn in. When they try to lump you into their generalization, gently point out you’re not that way. Be light-hearted with them, even joking in a self-deprecating way. If they drop their guard and show some vulnerability to you, share your concern for their health. Tell them they need help to control their anger because it’ll destroy them.

Final Thoughts on Identifying and Dealing with a Bitter Person

It’s hard to deal with a bitter person. You don’t want to be around them because their bitterness overshadows goodness in the day. They’re often blinded to their own emotions, maybe they’ve experienced deep hurt in their lives, and they’re angry about it.

Strangely, bitter people often attract cheerful people who want to help them. It’s not easy to be emphatic towards an angry person. Their bitterness is contagious. But you can be emphatic without agreeing with them.

Stand your ground, but show them kindness. It may feel like you’re hugging a cactus because of their angry barbs at you. Stay positive and when they see you are their friend, find ways to have more in-depth conversations with them. Share your concerns for them, and point out things they say and do that hurt them.

Be careful. Bitterness is contagious. Don’t get bitten by their venom, so you’re drawn into becoming a bitter person yourself.

.Gaslighters are toxic people that you really should evict out of your life. While you may be fully aware of this, if the person is your coworker, you may not be able to avoid them altogether. What you can do is limited contact with these types of coworkers as much as possible. To do that, you need to know how to spot them. We share ten hidden behaviors that identify coworkers as gaslighters.

What is Gaslighting?

Before diving into how you can spot a coworker that is a gaslighter, you should know precisely what gaslighting is.

A gaslighter is psychologically manipulating a person by planting doubt in that person about the person’s perception, memory, or judgment. This tactic can often result in a loss of identity, low self-esteem, and a lack of confidence for the person they manipulate. This person can have narcissistic and sociopathic tendencies.

Ten Hidden Signs of a Gaslighter

1. They Lie and Exaggerate Blatantly

These people have no shame. They will tell blatant lies, both big and small. What is crazier is that they will lie directly to your face, knowing that you know the truth. It can get extremely bizarre when they begin to lie about big, obvious things – you know they are lying. Still, they are lying so convincingly you wonder if you possibly misunderstood something.

The lying tends to happen in levels. They might start small just to plant the seeds of doubt. It can even manifest in the form of overriding your opinions or feelings about certain things. For example, they may attempt to convince you that you love a particular food even though you’re sure you don’t. Eventually, the lies and exaggeration get worse and worse, but by then, they may already have you under their spell.

2. Behavior is Repetitive

The whole process of gaslighting takes some dedication. This person will not just deceive you occasionally. It will be a constant occurrence. It can be so consistent that you never know when you’re going to hear the truth from them, and in the event that they do tell the truth, it can be surprising.

After being exposed continuously to the lies and deception, incidences where they tell the truth or compliment, you could also be used as manipulation (more on this in another section). The bouncing back and forth from reality to lie, and the repetitive behavior can easily lead to the next sign.

3. You Feel Worn Down by Spending Time Around the Person

You’re human. You can only take so much. Strong-willed, confident people may not be affected as much as others, but the constant exposure to psychological warfare can wear your shell down.

This defeat is especially true when you are required to be around this person. For example, if your boss is doing the gaslighting, but you need your job, you may feel like you do not have a choice. You may begin to feel depressed, hopeless, and even worthless. Most of all, you can feel stuck.

If you are feeling worn down around a coworker, do what you can to stay away from them.

4. A Gaslighter Won’t Admit to Flaws

Gaslighters see themselves as more perfect than anyone else. They will rarely admit to any flaws, no matter who distinct they are. To them, you and everyone else are the ones who have it wrong. They would deny a fault just as they are performing it.

This denial can also manifest in the form of them calling you and everyone else liars. Even if you have proof of them being the liar, they will find some manipulative way to turn it around. This behavior can often be by telling more lies to support the original myth. Pretty soon, they will have an entire fabricated story that they use to prove that they are right and you are wrong.

5. A Gaslighter Issues a Constant Reminder of Your Flaws

We have already established that they will not admit to any flaws. However, they will be sure to remind you of all of yours, all the time. Doing this is a way to bring your self-esteem and self-confidence down so low that they have total control and domination over you.

With coworkers, this means could be expressed in actions such as discrediting your work or your work ethic.

They may say things like, “It doesn’t matter how hard you work. You’re just not a good fit for that promotion.”

They may say phrases like this with no proof at all that they are correct. If they do happen to find an actual flaw of yours, the taunting can be much worse.

6. They Blow Things Out of Proportion

If you do find some courage to challenge them when they are lying, manipulating you, or pointing out your flaws, prepare for war. They don’t take criticism well. They don’t like to take it at all.

Pointing out their flaws garners the same reaction as challenging their lies. In some cases, their response can escalate into the argument of the century. You must have very thick skin to make it through one of these arguments. If you don’t, you can be left feeling wrecked when the debate is over.

7. You Have a Sense of Walking on Eggshells

When you are dealing with a person who blows up at the simplest criticism, or that turns everything into something to use against you, it can make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around them. You will begin to feel like you do or say the wrong things all the time. You may even notice that you are correcting yourself constantly to not trigger the person.

Being in this situation long term can lead to a lot of stress and mental exhaustion. It can affect your work performance because it becomes more about pleasing the gaslighter than doing your job. Staying away from coworkers like this is the best way to relieve your stress and anxiety.

8. Say One Thing, Do Something Else

You can never expect gaslighting people to lead by example. They do a lot of talking about what is right or wrong, what to do next, or what’s honorable or what’s not. After all this talking, they will turn around and do the exact opposite of what they said.

So pay attention to what they are doing over what they are saying. You already know that they are liars. However, the actions they take often tell the truth a lot more than their words. With gaslighting people, actions honestly do speak louder than words.

9. Confusing Compliments

Gaslighting people are masters at playing mind games. They know that if you start expecting them to be a liar and a bully all the time, their games will not be as effective as they would like. That is why they may throw in the occasional compliment. You can get so used to them putting you down regularly that when they give praise, you are completely confused about their authenticity. However, it is likely just a ruse.

When you get an unexpected compliment from this person, it is likely because you did something to help them, even if you didn’t know it. After all, they are not terrible people for no reason. A gaslighter’s primary purpose for their actions is to help themselves. When you seem to be on their side without question, you can expect the occasional compliment.

Do not fall for it. It will take next to nothing for them to start putting you down again.

10. Rallying Troops Against You

It is not enough for the person to wage psychological warfare on you by themselves. They will up the stakes by turning other coworkers against you. They are not beneath starting rumors and gossip or flat out lying to someone about something you said or did. Turning people against you works because the gaslighting person is usually playing their mind games on others in the office also.

Even as workplace tension increases, the gaslighting person will try to make you feel like it is your fault that people do not like you. There is a good chance that everyone loves you, but the gaslighting person just tells you lies to make you think people do not like you. If you are dealing with a coworker who consistently hints to you that others in the office have a problem with you or your work, you have found your gaslighter.

Final Thoughts on Working With a Gaslighter

If you recognize any of these qualities in your coworkers, you are in trouble if you work closely with these toxic people. They may attempt to sabotage your success and manipulate you into thinking it’s your fault. Even worse is that they are good at gaslighting. The best advice that you can follow is to distance yourself from the person. It can be hard to do at work, but in the end, it is better than working in a toxic environment.

Many people view IQ as most important, but in our opinion, the world could use a lot more emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence means being able to perceive, control, and assess your emotions as well as others’. This type of knowledge means knowing how to respond to someone without letting your emotions get the best of you. And it also means remembering you can’t control other people’s feelings.

“It is very important to understand that emotional intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence; it is not the triumph of heart over head—it is the unique intersection of both.” –David Caruso

People with high emotional intelligence contribute a lot of essential skills to society and may not even know it. Sensitive, emotional people often get looked at as weak or unproductive in society, but they simply possess different characteristics than their less sensitive counterparts. They have a way of seeing into the heart of people and smoothing out disagreements that may occur between more logical types. So, to sum it up, emotional intelligence gets downplayed a lot in society, but without empathy, our world would not function.

Psychologist and one of the pioneers of emotional intelligence, Daniel Goleman, wrote a book about how information doesn’t have much value if you lack empathy. In Dr. Goleman’s book, Emotional Intelligence – Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, he talked about five main components that make up emotional intelligence.

We will go over what he outlined in his book below, as well as other behaviors of people with high emotional intelligence.

Here are 12 behaviors of people with high emotional intelligence:

1 – They have high self-awareness.

According to Dr. Goleman, the first sign someone possesses high emotional intelligence is their level of self-awareness. Those with high emotional intelligence can keep close tabs on their emotions and control their reactions to other people. They never allow their feelings to get the best of them.

They don’t stuff their feelings away, but they also don’t let their emotions steer the wheel. People with emotional intelligence just pay attention to their feelings, so they don’t overreact or make bad decisions based on emotions. They also know themselves very well and set boundaries with people so they can maintain a sense of peace and autonomy at all times. People who are emotionally smart use this thoughtful gift as a way to keep in touch with their inner selves and gain insight into their feelings at all times.

2 – They have a remarkable ability to control their emotions.

The emotionally intelligent ride the waves of their emotions and don’t attach themselves to them. They simply allow the feelings to come and go without labeling them as good or bad. As humans, we all have fluctuating emotions, so if we feel sad today, then tomorrow, we might feel happy again. Knowing this, emotionally smart people keep a calm, even demeanor despite how they feel inside.

Emotional regulation is a crucial trait of the emotionally smart because, without the ability to control emotions, you will always fall victim to the chaos happening around you. However, if you can view your feelings as merely passing thought waves, you can ride the stormy seas and keep your ship afloat rather than letting the currents drag you under.

3 – They are motivated.

People with high EQ don’t allow themselves to play the victim. Indeed, they take full responsibility for their situation and life. They don’t let passing feelings get in the way of their goals, so they can keep focused on one task for long periods without getting fatigued. A lot of people feel tired just because their minds won’t shut off, but the emotionally intelligent know how to remain mindful, so they have higher productivity.

This doesn’t mean that possessing emotional intelligence keeps you from having bad days, but you’ll bounce back much quicker than those who don’t have a handle on their emotions.

4 – Emotionally smart people have a lot of empathy.

Emotionally intelligent people are some of the most empathetic people you’ll meet. Empathy means recognizing how someone feels and being able to relate to them. Those with a high EQ have a deep caring for how other people feel and always strive to make others around them feel better. They often get approached by other people who feel comfortable sharing their problems and concerns because they give off such a caring, sensitive vibe.

Being empathetic means, you can usually tell how someone feels without them even having to say a word. However, if the person chooses to divulge any details about their life, they will listen with open hearts and ears. They typically have excellent observational skills, and their intuition allows them to anticipate other people’s needs.

5 – They have excellent conversational skills

Despite the stereotype of emotional, empathic people being introverted and antisocial, emotionally intelligent people have great conversational skills. They can get to the heart of the matter quickly and easily because they don’t shy away from in-depth topics. They help lift others and motivate them, which makes them appealing to hang around. Emotionally intelligent people have excellent leadership skills due to their ability to observe problems and come up with compassionate solutions.

6 – They adapt quickly to their environment.

Those with high emotional intelligence have a chameleon-like ability to blend in with anyone, anywhere. Whether they’ve just gotten a new job or have moved to a new city, people with emotional awareness can keep a positive mindset anywhere they go. Since they know that everything in life just reflects their inner emotional state, they try their best to maintain a positive one at all times.

7 – They don’t try to be perfect.

People that have a keen awareness of their emotions know that trying to attain perfection will just lead to burn out and unhappiness. They realize that failing at something means more than never trying at all. That’s because they can learn many lessons in the process. However, shying away from new opportunities leaves no room for growth. Since they care more about improving themselves, they don’t let a fear of failure stand in their way.

8 – They understand how a healthy lifestyle benefits their emotions.

Emotionally intelligent people typically follow a healthy lifestyle. That’, because they know they can’t have a balanced mindset without taking care of themselves. They go to bed early, meditate, manage stress, workout, eat healthily, and treat others with kindness.

Their vibration radiates out to others because they take care of their health on the inside and outside. These practices allow their emotions to remain in check, as well.

9 – They express gratitude.

High EQ’s have a glass-half-full kind of attitude about life. They don’t see the point in dwelling on what goes wrong because that only lowers their vibration. They know that to attract good things in life, you have to keep your mind focused on all the positives. These types feel thankful for what they’ve been given and try to give their share to others as well.

10 – They can remain focused on one task for long periods of time.

Even if they have a lot going on in their heads, they can cut through the chatter and keep focused on the task right in front of them. Since they have the ability to manage and control their emotions, they don’t allow boredom or fatigue to keep them from their goals. If they feel stressed, they get up and workout, stretch or do something else to release it. Then, they get back to work. They know when to take breaks, but they stay the course and always finish whatever they start.

11 – They are highly creative.

They may not have a typical creative job. But they always use their innate abilities in whatever field they work in. They typically think outside the box and can view a problem from a bigger perspective.

This creative juice allows them to come up with a strong solution to an issue because they use their natural curiosity for life, along with their creativity to tackle problems. This also relates to being a good leader because these skills can be useful in the business world.

12 – They don’t get offended easily.

Since they have a good idea of themselves and set boundaries with people, those with high emotional intelligence don’t get offended easily. They know that whatever others think and feel about them only reflects their inner emotional state. Thus, nothing outside themselves can hurt them. Therefore, they listen to others with an open mind. However, they never allow their inner state to become upset by turbulence or strife from others.

Final thoughts about people with high emotional intelligence

Overall, having high emotional intelligence means having an awareness of your emotions as well as others’. Tap into your inner emotions. You will access a whole new world of knowledge that will open up many doors for you. Of course, even if you don’t have these skills, you can acquire them. Mindfulness and showing compassion for others can help increase emotional intelligence.

Falling in love can be a tricky thing. It can be confusing. There may be someone in your life that you vibe with, but you don’t know if they’re actually enamored with you or just flirting a little bit. When you want answers, all you have to do is look at their behaviors. Here are 15 actions that reveal someone is subconsciously falling in love.

15 Signs Show That Someone is Falling in Love With You

1. They Smile When They See You

The way they look at you when you connect in person says a lot how they feel about you. If they are always smiling and seem to glow when you walk into the room, you know they are falling in love. Look to see if there is a difference between how they react when you walk in the room and other people to gauge the reaction.

2. Acting Somewhat Nervous

Many people get nervous around someone they are falling in love with. It’s typically quite cute. You may notice them looking embarrassed when they say something somewhat silly or when you make fun of them. They may even just blush by being around you. Be gentle if you notice this, or you may scare them away.

3. They Feed You

In many cultures, food is a way of showing love. If someone is continually bringing you delicious food, that could just be their way of expressing their affection. This action is especially true if the food is homemade. Show appreciation and even consider doing the same in return to speak in their love language.

4. Body Language

Body language can tell you a lot more about someone than the words they speak. Someone who is falling in love with you will show it in their body language. They will likely angle their body toward you or touch you in small ways. Many times, they won’t even be aware they are doing these subtle movements. They may also try to sit near you when in a group setting. Of course, positive body language should not be confused with lust. You should make a point to do little gestures yourself without overdoing it.

5. They Celebrate Good News With You

The good news is even better when you have someone to share it with. If your crush is starting to fall for you, they will probably call you first when something good happens in their life. You call the person who you want to impress. This habit means they enjoy impressing you with the good news. They also probably feel comfortable telling you things and know that you will be supportive and make them feel good about their good news. Be supportive and excited when they call you.

6. They Listen

To develop an emotional connection with someone, you need to talk. It’s not enough just to talk. The other person has to listen. You will tell if they listen by if they jump in with their own stories or sit back and let you talk. They may repeat things during the conversation. You’ll also know they were listening if they remember details about the conversation later on. They will remember details and make a point to let you know they remember by repeating certain things back to you. More than anything, they make time to listen to you when you need an open ear. Someone can’t listen if they aren’t there for you when you need them. Of course, you need to be reasonable about your expectations.

7. Using “We”

When someone is falling in love with you, they will start to look at the two of you as a unit. Instead of talking in individual terms, you will notice them saying “we” a lot to friends and family. It’s especially telling if they use “we” when it comes to the future. It shows that when they see the future, they picture you in it. Thinking long term means they plan to take the relationship to the next step eventually.

8. Eye Contact Reveals They’re Falling in Love

The eyes are often called the window into the soul. Someone who wants to develop an emotional connection with you will want to see into your soul to get to know you even better. They will make a point to look into your eyes when you talk. It’s a way to capture your attention. On the other hand, if they avert their eyes every time you talk, that could be a sign they aren’t very interested. Make a point to make eye contact yourself without being creepy.

9. Constant Communication

Communication is key. If someone is interested in you, they will make a point to talk to you often. You won’t be the one reaching out to them all of the time; they will reach out to you. When you speak, the conversation will be natural. It may even get deep at times. These in-depth conversations will help you develop a connection that goes past a physical attraction.

10. Putting Effort Into Their Appearance

If someone is attracted to you, they will likely try to look their best around you. You may notice them putting more time into their hair and grooming. You may also see them wearing certain outfits you complimented in the past. If you catch them by surprise, they may not be done up as well as when they know they are going to see you. They want you to have a physical attraction to them, so they put effort into their looks when they are going to see you.

11. They Compliment You Often

Compliments are one of the easiest ways for people to express how they feel. You may suspect someone is growing enamored with you if they compliment you all of the time. They may compliment you on your appearance. However, someone who is falling in love will also compliment other things, such as your personality, intelligence, and emotional strength. It’s even more telling when someone compliments you often in front of other people. It shows they aren’t afraid to express their admiration for you to the world.

12. Playful Teasing

You and your crush should be free to have fun with each other. You may notice them teasing you about small things, such as your little mannerisms and quirks. Of course, teasing should contain a certain amount of respect. The teasing should never cross the line into disrespect. It should be playful and flirty. Of course, you should feel free to fire right back. Likewise, you should keep things as respectful as possible to ensure that you don’t cross any boundaries.

13. Opening Up to You

Everyone has secrets. Some people even have trauma and negative experiences that they carry with them every day without letting other people know. It can be hard to talk about these things, and some people might be worried about being judged. If someone opens up to you, it means they trust you dearly. You should take this seriously. Allow them to open up and show them the support they need. You should also make sure to keep the conversation between you.

14. Friends Comment on It

Someone’s friends may see a connection between two people before they see it themselves. Other people may notice the flirting that you aren’t sure is flirting or not. They may even notice something even more developing. Listen to what other people see. If people are always joking about how you and your crush should just get together already, there’s something there. Your crush may have even expressed their feelings to their friends, and they could just be trying to help things along.

Look at their reaction when people mention an apparent connection. Are they embarrassed or do they shut it down immediately? Someone who shuts it down immediately might be trying to clarify their feelings instead of hiding them.

15. Helps You Without Hesitation

Everyone needs help on occasion. You may need help moving or with homework. When you express that you need help with something, does your crush offer their assistance immediately? They may see this as a way to spend time with you and also demonstrate their value to you. When you need to call someone for help, do you call them first, knowing they will be likely to be there for you? The reliability and quickness to help you are not only a sign that they are into you right now, but it’s also a sign that they will be dependable in a relationship as well.

Final Thoughts on Recognizing When Someone Is Falling in Love

Do you notice any of these behaviors from someone in your life? They may just be falling in love with you, whether they know it or not. Of course, you don’t want to look for things that simply aren’t there. If you don’t specifically notice these behaviors, they may not be as into you as you’d like. That’s okay. Wait for someone else who does demonstrate these behaviors naturally.

If someone wants to be your friend, they’ll let you know in some way. They might start by inviting you somewhere or adding you to their social media accounts. However, true friendship today seems quite rare as we lead busier lives than ever before. We live in a time where making friends online seems like the most comfortable option. It only takes a quick search to find groups where we feel we belong, and we can choose from thousands of people to form friendships with.

Of course, online friends should never take the place of real-life friendships. Studies have shown that even people who have thousands of Facebook or Instagram friends usually only have one or two close friendships in their real lives. We need human interaction to survive, and unfortunately, more people report feeling lonely than ever before. Scientists have even called it a “loneliness epidemic” because of its far-reaching and dramatic effects on our mental health.

This problem doesn’t just affect seniors, either. Many millennials and Generation Z-er’s report feeling lonely also, and this can have disastrous effects on their health. Scientists have found that loneliness carries the same risks as smoking 15 cigarettes per day, which shows how much humans need friendships.

Now that we’ve talked about the importance of friends in our daily lives, we’ll discuss some signs that reveal someone wants to initiate a friendship.

“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” – Walter Winchell

Here are seven signs someone wants to be your friend:

Read to see the behaviors that reveal when somebody wants your friendship.

1 – They enjoy your company and accept you for who you are.

You find that you can let your guard down around them because they seem accepting and nonjudgmental. If someone wants to be your friend, they will take the time to get to know the real you. They encourage you to take off your mask around them and be your full self. A real friend would never judge you for your opinions, thoughts, or beliefs about the world.

If someone wants to initiate a friendship, they will invite you to hang out and take time to see what’s underneath the mask. You can relax and enjoy their company because they have your best interests at heart.

2 – They check in on you often.

If you’ve recently started talking to someone but haven’t established a friendship yet, this person will keep showing effort. If they really want to be your friend, they’ll text or message you often just to see how your day is going. Even if they don’t have much to talk about, they’ll just love hearing from you and engaging in small talk. They genuinely care about your well-being, and this will show with their actions.

Real friendship doesn’t mean you have to put in effort always, but it does mean showing you care by checking in and offering support if needed.

3 – They share deep, meaningful things about themselves with you.

A real friend wants to get to know the real you, and they share their authentic selves right back. They don’t just want to talk about superficial things like shopping and gossip with you. They will feel comfortable sharing their deepest, darkest secrets with you after getting to know you, and they want you to feel okay doing the same. You won’t fear judgment or ridicule from them, and they will feel like they can let their guard down around you. If someone wants to be your friend, they will open up and let you see their true self.

4 – If they want to be your friend, they will put in the effort.

A real friend will not make you chase them down continually or keep you hanging when you ask to do things with them. They call and text you just as much as you do them because they know friendship takes two people to work. Even if they don’t talk to you every day, they still will put in an effort to hang out with you often. They ask about your life and make sure you know you’re important to them.

5 – They give you room to talk and listen attentively.

If someone wants to be your friend, they will allow you to express yourself and won’t judge you for it. Many people don’t feel heard in their relationships, but a real friend will make sure you have time to talk about what’s important to you. They will want to break down your walls and get to know your heart.

• They won’t only talk about themselves.

If someone wants to be your friend, they’ll let you vent or talk as much as you need to. You won’t have to worry about them interrupting or only having a one-sided conversation. This person will make you feel heard and respect what you have to say.

• They will make you feel important by giving you their full attention.

They will give your conversation their full attention and not half-heartedly listen while playing on their phone. If someone truly wants your friendship, you will feel it in their efforts. Your intuition will let you know that this person does not just want to use you or play games. They enjoy the person you are and want to form a friendship with you.

• You can always count on them.

Whenever you need them, you can call them and not feel guilty about it. They give you their time even when they have a busy schedule, and they know you’ll have their back, too. If someone really wants to be your friend, they’ll open up their hearts to allow you in. Real friends make sure you feel safe and comfortable opening up to them and calling on them when you need them the most.

6 – They ask you a lot of questions about yourself.

When someone wants to initiate a friendship, they will ask you common questions about yourself. Some questions may include:

• Where were you born? How long did you live there?
• What do you do for a living? Is it your dream job?
• What’s your favorite type of food?
• Are you married? Have kids?
• What’s your favorite place to travel?
• What did you go to school for?
• What kind of music/movies/books do you like?

These are just a few examples. But in general, people will give some sort of indication they want to know you by asking questions. You can’t really get to know anyone without asking about them. So if someone does this, they might want to start a friendship with you.

7 – They will invite you to hang out.

If someone wants to be your friend, they will want to spend time with you. This may mean asking you to see a movie, go to dinner, go for a hike, or something else where you can get to know each other. They may invite you to a group setting or one-on-one, but either way, it shows you mean something to them, and they enjoy your company.

Casual acquaintances can also turn into a deep friendship. Perhaps your casual friend from yoga class or the gym may want to hang out outside of your usual meeting place. Instead of waiting on them to ask, you can always invite them out for coffee or to your favorite park. In life, we can’t forever wait on someone else to make the first move. They may want to be your friend, but feel too shy to take the next steps.

Just as you should always remain open to friendship, you should also make it known to others when you want to be their friend. After all, friendship is a two-way street, and you never know how someone feels until you ask.

Final thoughts about signs someone wants to be your friend

Sometimes people don’t show visible signs when they want to initiate friendship. They might talk to you occasionally at the gym or yoga, but don’t know how to say they want to get to know you better. You might have to ask them to hang out if you don’t want to wait around for them to take the next step.

However, sometimes, people will show more apparent signs that they like you. For example, they may ask you to hang out, ask questions to get to know you better, or simply allow you to talk about your life. They will put in the effort to keep up the friendship, accept you as you are, check-in with you, and share important facts about themselves.

Many people today feel lonely, so if someone reaches out and makes room for you in their life, make sure you keep that friend close. Technology has mostly changed the way we interact, and real friendship seems rarer than ever. If you find a rare gem which seems sincere in their friendship, cherish them – real friends help us weather the many storms we face in life.