Cheating

Getting cheated on sucks. It can cause so many confusing emotions. It can crush your world when you realize your partner is prone to cheat. However, no matter how bleak the situation may seem, you can bounce back from cheating stronger and better than ever.

Ten Ways to Recover After Discovering Your Partner Cheating

Here are ten ways to bounce back when you discovered your partner cheating.

1. Get a makeover.

One way to bounce back is to show your partner what they’re missing out on. Not only will a head-to-toe makeover accomplish this, but it will make you feel much better.

Get a new hair color and cut. Go shopping for a new, sexy outfit with new, sexy shoes. Don’t be modest with it! Go all out and get the most head-turning outfit (head-turning in a good way) you can find.

Get your makeup done by a professional makeup artist and don’t forget about a manicure and pedicure. By the time you’re done with your makeover, you’ll look and feel like a cover model and your partner will be regretting their infidelity.

2. Spend time with close friends.

After a partner cheats on you, it can make you feel alone. You may withdraw from people without even realizing you’re doing it. Even worse, dealing with the situation alone can make you feel worse.

A great way to remedy this feeling is by spending time with people who really care about you. It’s a great opportunity to plan a weekend getaway with you and people who will remind you of how amazing you are. Most importantly, they’ll help keep your mind off of your unfaithful partner so you aren’t wallowing in misery.

As a bonus, you’ll probably have loads of fun. Fun is always a great remedy for sadness.

3. Talk to a professional.

If you’re feeling really down about your partner stepping out on the relationship and you can’t think of any other way to shake it, you may need to seek professional counseling. Often talking to a stranger can be easier than talking to people you know.

Getting cheated on can often lead to a lot of confusing emotions. These emotions could affect you in ways you don’t even realize until it’s too late. Seeking professional counseling can help you keep yourself on track until you process the things that are going on with you.

If you feel embarrassed to talk to a counselor, try to understand that it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Plenty of people see counselors and it’s perfectly healthy and normal to need one when you’re going through heartbreak. Your sessions are also confidential, so you don’t even have to tell anyone you’re going.

4. Go to church or a spiritual gathering.

If you’re a spiritual or religious individual, and you find out your partner hasn’t been faithful to the relationship, a divine intervention could be in your near future. Turning to your faith can help you process what’s happened as well as get through it in one piece. In fact, you might come out of the other side better and more enlightened than ever.

There is a certain inner peace that can occur when you turn your troubles over to your faith. This can be further reinforced by worshiping with others who believe as you do. It’s almost like the combined worship multiplies your inner strength and helps you to get through the situation.

5. Fully process the emotions.

One big mistake that people make when processing trauma such as infidelity or a breakup is not processing their feelings. It can be natural to suppress what you’re feeling, especially if you don’t like being vulnerable around people. However, it’s important to realize that you’re human and that it’s okay to be vulnerable from time to time.

Finding out your partner isn’t faithful is definitely one of those times.

Dealing with your emotions is the healthiest way to bounce back from a cheat. licensed psychotherapist Vanessa Marin says that it’s okay to have these awful emotions because it just makes sense, and at some point, you’ll realize that the infidelity wasn’t about you. That’s where you’ll start to bounce back.

While you’re feeling your emotions, don’t let anyone tell you how to feel. If you’re angry, be angry. If you’re sad, be sad. If you’re feeling forgiving, forgive. Give yourself time to feel your emotions and process them. If you do that, you’ll bounce back faster than you can imagine.

6. Deal with the situation immediately.

You may feel the exact opposite way of that statement like you absolutely don’t want to deal with it right now. However, that would be a mistake. The main reason is that you’re simply putting off the inevitable and suppressing the feelings that come with it and you just learned that doing that is bad.

The other reason you want to deal with it immediately is that you can’t bounce back from something you haven’t dealt with yet. The longer you put it off, the longer it will take to heal from it.

This can be even worse if you live with your partner. Passive aggression can start coming out of nowhere even if you’re not intending to behave that way. When this happens, you’re not bouncing back, you’re acting out, so deal with it as soon as possible.

7. Don’t be anyone’s doormat.

An unfaithful partner is bad enough, but when they make you feel powerless, insecure, or unworthy, it’s time to stand up for yourself. You can’t bounce back if your self-esteem is down the drain. Dealing with someone who makes you feel bad due to their horrible actions is not going to help your self-esteem.

When your partner steps out on the relationship, you may begin to feel like you need to “do something” differently to make them faithful. This is simply not true. You can’t control the actions of other people.

If they take advantage of that situation, and you allow it to continue, this is where you’ll begin to feel like a doormat. Nip this situation in the bud. Keep in mind that you cannot make someone be faithful no matter what you do.

Once you accept this, you’ll be able to regain your self-esteem and bounce back from the infidelity.

8. Have fun.

Finding out your partner isn’t faithful can come as such a shock that the pain cuts deep. One way to bounce back is to have fun. This might sound ridiculous – after all, how can you possibly have fun when you’re heartbroken?

The answer is to fake it until you make it. Even if you’re just going through the motions, do things that you would normally think of as fun. The key is to do them with friends (as suggested in tip number two).

When you’re doing fun activities with friends, eventually the fun will take over, even if only for a little while. Those little breaks in sadness can be enough to fuel you until you can make a complete comeback.

9. Move on from the cheating.

It can be awfully hard to trust your partner once you become aware of infidelity. In fact, many people never trust an unfaithful partner again. Despite the lack of trust, some people attempt to stay in the relationship.

It’s understandable that you may want to remain in the relationship. After all, you weren’t the one who cheated because you love your partner. Unfortunately, your partner doesn’t value you the way you value them.

It’s hard and can feel like your heart is being ripped into a million pieces but if there is no trust in the relationship, it will never work. In fact, there is scientific research to support saying, “once a cheater, always a cheater”. It’s time to let go of your cheating partner for your own well-being.

10. Date other people.

You don’t have to immediately jump into another relationship but going out on simple dates can help to take your mind off of your partner’s infidelity. Of course, you should only date other people if you’ve completely ended the relationship with your partner. Otherwise, dating other people can further damage the relationship.

Dating other people can also boost your confidence after it’s been shaken by a cheating partner. It will help remind you that you’re attractive, you have a great personality, and that you’re desirable. This will be especially true if you happen to click with one of your dates.

Besides making yourself feel great, once your partner sees you out there on the market, they’ll regret stepping out on you. That could bring you some satisfaction that can make it much easier to bounce back.

Final Thoughts on Bouncing After You Found Out Your Partner Was Cheating

You’ve put your all into a relationship, so it really blows when your partner steps out on you. However, it doesn’t mean that you have to be depressed. You don’t deserve that. You may not know what the next step is in your relationship, but one thing is certain – you may not make a great decision without a clear head. Take some time to bounce back from the blow so you feel good again. Once your confidence and self-esteem are back, you’ll be better equipped to handle the situation.

A cheating spouse can be the biggest heartbreak you experience in life, as well as the reason for the destruction of your home. In this digital age we live in, you may notice unusual online habits of your partner.

They may be using social media to communicate with a lover…or not. If you suspect a cheating spouse, you don’t want to jump to conclusions.

You want to observe and be sure before you make a very serious accusation. If you want to find out for sure, there are certain things to look out for. Here are ten online habits that may reveal a cheating spouse.

10 Online Habits of a Cheating Spouse

Here are ten typical online habits that reveal you could be dealing with a cheating spouse.

1. Labeling Themselves as Single on Social Platforms

Most social media accounts allow users to display their marital status. You can usually let people know if you are “married,” “in a relationship,” or “single.” If “married” or “in a relationship,” the user can tag their significant other. This status lets the whole world know that you are together.

Look at the “relationship status” of your spouse. If it says “single” or “it’s complicated,” that could be a very bad sign. It shows that they don’t want other people to know they are committed to someone else. They may want to hide their relationship status, so other potential lovers won’t know.

It’s an especially bad sign if you send them a relationship status request, and they ignore it. They likely saw the request. Why won’t they just accept it?

2. Ignoring Your Tags and Comments

As a spouse, you probably have a lot to say about the things your significant other posts. That’s natural! You may comment on their posts and tag them in different posts yourself. When you do this, you expect them to respond to you most of the time.

If your partner ignores everything you write on their wall, it can make you feel like they don’t want to publicly interact with you. This pattern could mean they don’t want someone else to see those interactions.

A cheating spouse may claim they see you all of the time at home, so they don’t see the need to interact online as well. However, if they talk to everyone else who posts on their social media pages, that excuse could be less than comforting. Your spouse may also avoid talking about you online. If you went to the zoo during the day, they might omit that when talking to other people.

However, they may mention other things they did throughout the day. Or, if you both painted a room together, they may post about painting the room but not include you in the post.

3. Being Overly Flirty Online with Other People

You can see the different things that your spouse and friends post on each other’s walls. You may notice that your spouse seems to be especially flirty with certain people they talk to online.

They may call them terms of endearment like “babe” or use heart emojis in their communications for everyone to see. A cheating spouse may make it seem like it’s all in good fun.

However, it shows a certain level of disrespect for your relationship, whether they are cheating with other people or not. Your spouse should make a point not to get too friendly with online acquaintances.

4. Being Overly Protective of Phone/Laptop

Does your spouse turn away any time they grab their phone to prevent you from looking at what they’re doing? Do they laugh at their phone but then not show you what was so funny? Do they go through extreme measures to keep their phone and social media accounts secure and locked? Are they doing the same thing with their laptop?

There is no reason for them to scream at you if you try to use their laptop to check your email if your phone is dead. This overreaction is an indication they are hiding something. Granted, some people truly value their privacy.

However, there is a difference between keeping things private and being sneaky. A person who values privacy probably did this all along. On the other hand, if this reaction is a new behavior, it can indicate a cheating spouse.

5. Secret Social Media Accounts/Emails

One of the most obvious signs of a problem is if your significant other has secret social media accounts or email addresses. They may have one account that they use for their regular life and others to help them live a secret life.

Some of the accounts may utilize a different name and no picture to help them stay anonymous. They probably think you don’t know about the other accounts. You may discover the accounts if they have multiple accounts to log in and out of on Gmail or Facebook on their phone or laptop.

You likely don’t have access to any of these secret accounts, and they may even get defensive about them if you point them out.

6. Accounts on Dating Sites

Did you happen to notice an app like Tinder or OkCupid on your spouse’s account? Even if they used it to meet you, there is no need for them to still have that app on their phone.

It’s an obvious sign of an affair if they’ve been using the app recently. They may try to tell you it’s not a big deal to have dating apps on their phone, but you aren’t overly jealous. Your spouse having dating apps is a completely legitimate thing to be mad about. They need to be deleted immediately.

Even worse, some spouses may sign up for notoriously dubious websites that pair up married people. Even curiosity about these sites should not be tolerated.

7. Behaving Single Online

People portray themselves in a particular way online. Some people portray themselves as a family person with plenty of pictures and posts about family (including their spouse). This married life is how your spouse should portray themselves.

They may choose to go another route, though, and post pictures of scantily clothed girls and offensive memes that make them look single. Also, they may post more pictures of them out with friends at the club than pictures with you. They may do this to convince people online that they are, in fact, single.

This behavior could attract the wrong kind of attention from people online. If nothing else, it portrays them as someone who wants to be single.

8. Constantly Communicating With People Online

Many spouses cheating online will be glued to their phones. They will always be talking to people online on social media. This chatting could be all through the day as well as at odd times throughout the night.

Of course, they won’t allow you to look at anything they are doing. it’s normal for people to text and message people, but a cheating spouse will allow it to interfere with private time with you and take it to an uncomfortable level.

9. Correspondence With People You Don’t Know

As a spouse, you should know a majority of the people your spouse communicates with. When you look online, do you see them talking to people you’ve never heard of before? Or an ex? Do you see them in pictures with people you don’t know?

There may be a reason your spouse is trying to keep these lives separate. One of the first things that comes to mind is they are having an affair and don’t want you to know. These people may be people they are cheating with or just people who know the person they are cheating with.

10. Lying

Cheaters will often find themselves in positions that force them to lie. They may lie about who they are talking to or where they are going at night to avoid suspicion. They may also blatantly lie about their own life to other people online.

Do you notice them lying about what they did with their day online? All of these lies point to the fact that they might be keeping things from you. A cheating spouse may also lie about things that don’t even matter. It’s a sign of someone who shouldn’t be trusted.

If they lie about small things that don’t matter, it’s probably easy for them to lie about serious things, too.

Final Thoughts on Detecting the Online Habits of a Cheating Spouse

If you notice more than just a couple of these online habits, you could have a cheating spouse. There are multiple ways to cheat. It could be someone your partner leans on for emotional support behind your back but has never met in person. It may also be someone with whom your partner has a physical relationship.

Finally, it could be that your partner hasn’t found someone yet but is looking. No matter what the situation, you should not have to put up with being second place in your relationship. You deserve someone who is proud of you and the life you are building together as a couple.

If you aren’t feeling appreciated, it may be time to have a serious conversation. If things don’t change, you may be the one changing your relationship status to “single.”