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15 Ways to Deal With a Co-worker Who Never Admits Fault

15 Ways to Deal With a Co-worker Who Never Admits

In the workplace, there’s always at least one difficult person. It can be the woman who complains chronically or the man who is often sarcastic. However, of all the people that you will encounter, the most troublesome one is the individual who will never admit they’re wrong.

How do you handle a person who refuses to admit they are at fault? It can be a real problem when there is an office full of people who always have the blame shifted their way. This problematic colleague can ruin your workday, and they can cause relationship problems on the job.

Tips on Dealing with Those Who Won’t Accept Fault

The natural response to this conundrum would be to avoid this person, but that isn’t always possible. What if you work in a small department, and they are intertangled in your workday? What is the best way to deal with a toxic individual who will never admit fault? Here are some suggestions.

1. Don’t Judge

It’s easy to take a high position when you feel that someone is in the wrong. However, remember your parents telling you never to judge a book by their cover? The problem with being judgmental is that you may not know that whole story.

Before you jump to conclusions and start assuming the worst, you shouldn’t pass judgment on this person. After some investigation and proof, then you can consider your lofted position. However, there may be something underneath the surface that is causing this person to act this way.

They may not be out to get you or any other employee. Instead, they may be trying to protect themselves. The psychological aspects of these situations cannot be ignored.

2. Talk to Them Privately

If they are lying and it affects you, then it might be time to call this toxic individual out on their behaviors. Again, it’s easy to jump to conclusions, but you might find that the situation is different than you could have ever imagined.

Everyone has a chance to defend themselves, even in a court of law. At least talk to the person and let them know how their inability to accept fault is wearing on you. Don’t speak for others in this meeting. Only say the part about their behaviors that affects you.

3. Get to the Bottom of the Situation

You know that things are never as they seem. You need to call out specific instances and ask them to explain their actions. Let’s assume that they messed up on an order form for supplies, but they are fully aware they did it.

They might have only claimed ignorance because if they got one more write up, they would be fired. You may find that even though their actions are toxic, they had logical thinking. It’s still no reason to lie, but at least they weren’t being malicious and trying to get others in trouble. They were trying to cover their mistake.

4. Ask Someone They Trust to Talk to Them

If their actions affect the workplace, you may ask one of their friends to talk to them. Do they have anyone that they can trust? The person could be stuck in such a negative pattern of blaming others that they don’t even realize what they are doing.

Having someone in a trustworthy position talk to them could be what they need to set them on the right path.

5. File a Written Complaint

If you’ve done everything you can to live with the situation and can’t, then it’s time to use your chain of command. Most companies want you to put any issues in writing for them to investigate further.

A written complaint may cause disciplinary action. However, if they are doing things that are going to cause you to get into trouble, you need to speak up. This kind of toxic person will stop at nothing to keep the fault off them and put it on someone else.

6. Talk to Your Supervisor

Asking the advice of your supervisor is always a good idea. If you’re not comfortable putting things in a written complaint, you can talk to your superior without mentioning names. They can give you advice on how you should handle situations according to company standards.

7. Cultivate Compassion

One of the main reasons you should never jump to conclusions is because you don’t know that person’s past. What if they were an abused child who grew up in horrible conditions?

It’s common that someone who doesn’t want to admit fault has a damaged psyche and cannot accept blame. The formative years teach you patterns that can last with you for life. They may feel like that child who is going to get in trouble and be beaten or belittled.

Since you don’t know what’s going on in their mind, then it’s best to use compassion first before a gavel of judgment.

8. Step Aside

Sometimes, the best thing for you to do is to step aside. If you already have drama going on in your life and don’t need to borrow any trouble, let someone else handle it. If this person’s actions don’t directly affect you, then make the people that it does affect fight the battle.

9. Let it Go

Letting go is such a hard thing to do. If this person has been this way since they started at your company, then the chances are that you will not change them. Rather than focusing on this negative aspect of your job, just ignore it. If you notice these toxic behaviors, then others will see them too.

10. Offer Help

As we’ve already discussed, you don’t know what’s going on in this person’s mind. Rather than being the judge, why not offer a helping hand? It could be that they won’t accept fault because they are struggling on the job. If you offer to help them in the areas they are struggling in, it could be a win-win situation.

11. Stage an Intervention

Have you ever seen an intervention for someone who is messing with drugs or alcohol? There’s nothing that says you cannot stage an intervention with this coworker. Gather a few of the other coworkers together and sit down and talk to them.

It’s hard to deny allegations when there are several people there to back up the claims. Also, make the purpose of the meeting to help and not tear them down.

12. Write a Letter

Some people feel that it’s easier to put their thoughts into written form than to talk face-to-face. Also, a letter can allow you to say what you need to say and keep you calm.

You can take the chance to call them out on their actions, but you don’t even need to put your name at the bottom of it. If you want to remain anonymous, then you can simply sign if from a concerned coworker.

13. Ask to Transfer to a New Department

If you’re at the boiling point with this person and their inability to accept fault, you can ask to move departments. If you work for a large company, there may be an opportunity for you to move around.

You may find that you would like to move away from this toxic person and their lying ways. However, be careful because these kinds of people exist in all facets of the workplace.

14. Make Sure You’re Never Alone with This Person

When you’re with a toxic person, you must always have a witness close by. If they tend to blame others for their actions or faults, you want someone close to you to say what happened. When you know that a person tends to be toxic, you know you need to take steps to protect yourself.

15. Move On

Though it’s a drastic step, it may be time to leave the company. If there are no departments to move around to, the supervisors don’t listen to your complaints, or if the person is in a position of leadership, then it may be time to go.

You can’t fight a toxic work environment, and you don’t want it to all come crashing down on you. If the situation directly involves you and could cause you to get canned, then move on. You were looking for a job when you found that one, and there will be another job out there for you.

kind peopleFinal Thoughts on Dealing with Those Who Refuse to Admit Fault

In some respects, you probably feel like a child when you’re dealing with an adult that cannot admit when they’ve done something wrong. It doesn’t matter if you’ve caught them red-handed, these people will lie, manipulate, and blame you.

The fifteen tips listed above can help you learn to deal with these people. However, it would be best if you were careful about which ones to use as each situation is different. Even if you decide to jump ship, remember that whenever you go in life, there will always be those toxic individuals who are eager to shift the blame to you. Learning how to deal with them is a better approach.


10 Hidden Behaviors Reveal That Your Coworker is a Gaslighter

10 Hidden Behaviors Reveal That Your Coworker is a Gaslighter

.Gaslighters are toxic people that you really should evict out of your life. While you may be fully aware of this, if the person is your coworker, you may not be able to avoid them altogether. What you can do is limited contact with these types of coworkers as much as possible. To do that, you need to know how to spot them. We share ten hidden behaviors that identify coworkers as gaslighters.

What is Gaslighting?

Before diving into how you can spot a coworker that is a gaslighter, you should know precisely what gaslighting is.

A gaslighter is psychologically manipulating a person by planting doubt in that person about the person’s perception, memory, or judgment. This tactic can often result in a loss of identity, low self-esteem, and a lack of confidence for the person they manipulate. This person can have narcissistic and sociopathic tendencies.

Ten Hidden Signs of a Gaslighter

1. They Lie and Exaggerate Blatantly

These people have no shame. They will tell blatant lies, both big and small. What is crazier is that they will lie directly to your face, knowing that you know the truth. It can get extremely bizarre when they begin to lie about big, obvious things – you know they are lying. Still, they are lying so convincingly you wonder if you possibly misunderstood something.

The lying tends to happen in levels. They might start small just to plant the seeds of doubt. It can even manifest in the form of overriding your opinions or feelings about certain things. For example, they may attempt to convince you that you love a particular food even though you’re sure you don’t. Eventually, the lies and exaggeration get worse and worse, but by then, they may already have you under their spell.

2. Behavior is Repetitive

The whole process of gaslighting takes some dedication. This person will not just deceive you occasionally. It will be a constant occurrence. It can be so consistent that you never know when you’re going to hear the truth from them, and in the event that they do tell the truth, it can be surprising.

After being exposed continuously to the lies and deception, incidences where they tell the truth or compliment, you could also be used as manipulation (more on this in another section). The bouncing back and forth from reality to lie, and the repetitive behavior can easily lead to the next sign.

3. You Feel Worn Down by Spending Time Around the Person

You’re human. You can only take so much. Strong-willed, confident people may not be affected as much as others, but the constant exposure to psychological warfare can wear your shell down.

This defeat is especially true when you are required to be around this person. For example, if your boss is doing the gaslighting, but you need your job, you may feel like you do not have a choice. You may begin to feel depressed, hopeless, and even worthless. Most of all, you can feel stuck.

If you are feeling worn down around a coworker, do what you can to stay away from them.


4. A Gaslighter Won’t Admit to Flaws

Gaslighters see themselves as more perfect than anyone else. They will rarely admit to any flaws, no matter who distinct they are. To them, you and everyone else are the ones who have it wrong. They would deny a fault just as they are performing it.

This denial can also manifest in the form of them calling you and everyone else liars. Even if you have proof of them being the liar, they will find some manipulative way to turn it around. This behavior can often be by telling more lies to support the original myth. Pretty soon, they will have an entire fabricated story that they use to prove that they are right and you are wrong.

5. A Gaslighter Issues a Constant Reminder of Your Flaws

We have already established that they will not admit to any flaws. However, they will be sure to remind you of all of yours, all the time. Doing this is a way to bring your self-esteem and self-confidence down so low that they have total control and domination over you.

With coworkers, this means could be expressed in actions such as discrediting your work or your work ethic.

They may say things like, “It doesn’t matter how hard you work. You’re just not a good fit for that promotion.”

They may say phrases like this with no proof at all that they are correct. If they do happen to find an actual flaw of yours, the taunting can be much worse.

6. They Blow Things Out of Proportion

If you do find some courage to challenge them when they are lying, manipulating you, or pointing out your flaws, prepare for war. They don’t take criticism well. They don’t like to take it at all.

Pointing out their flaws garners the same reaction as challenging their lies. In some cases, their response can escalate into the argument of the century. You must have very thick skin to make it through one of these arguments. If you don’t, you can be left feeling wrecked when the debate is over.

7. You Have a Sense of Walking on Eggshells

When you are dealing with a person who blows up at the simplest criticism, or that turns everything into something to use against you, it can make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around them. You will begin to feel like you do or say the wrong things all the time. You may even notice that you are correcting yourself constantly to not trigger the person.

Being in this situation long term can lead to a lot of stress and mental exhaustion. It can affect your work performance because it becomes more about pleasing the gaslighter than doing your job. Staying away from coworkers like this is the best way to relieve your stress and anxiety.

psychopath8. Say One Thing, Do Something Else

You can never expect gaslighting people to lead by example. They do a lot of talking about what is right or wrong, what to do next, or what’s honorable or what’s not. After all this talking, they will turn around and do the exact opposite of what they said.

So pay attention to what they are doing over what they are saying. You already know that they are liars. However, the actions they take often tell the truth a lot more than their words. With gaslighting people, actions honestly do speak louder than words.

9. Confusing Compliments

Gaslighting people are masters at playing mind games. They know that if you start expecting them to be a liar and a bully all the time, their games will not be as effective as they would like. That is why they may throw in the occasional compliment. You can get so used to them putting you down regularly that when they give praise, you are completely confused about their authenticity. However, it is likely just a ruse.

When you get an unexpected compliment from this person, it is likely because you did something to help them, even if you didn’t know it. After all, they are not terrible people for no reason. A gaslighter’s primary purpose for their actions is to help themselves. When you seem to be on their side without question, you can expect the occasional compliment.

Do not fall for it. It will take next to nothing for them to start putting you down again.

10. Rallying Troops Against You

It is not enough for the person to wage psychological warfare on you by themselves. They will up the stakes by turning other coworkers against you. They are not beneath starting rumors and gossip or flat out lying to someone about something you said or did. Turning people against you works because the gaslighting person is usually playing their mind games on others in the office also.

Even as workplace tension increases, the gaslighting person will try to make you feel like it is your fault that people do not like you. There is a good chance that everyone loves you, but the gaslighting person just tells you lies to make you think people do not like you. If you are dealing with a coworker who consistently hints to you that others in the office have a problem with you or your work, you have found your gaslighter.

Final Thoughts on Working With a Gaslighter

If you recognize any of these qualities in your coworkers, you are in trouble if you work closely with these toxic people. They may attempt to sabotage your success and manipulate you into thinking it’s your fault. Even worse is that they are good at gaslighting. The best advice that you can follow is to distance yourself from the person. It can be hard to do at work, but in the end, it is better than working in a toxic environment.