Explain

There’s never been a more accurate statement than “all is fair in love and war.” Even the best relationships go through downward phases, but what happens when you call it quits? Can you walk away without dissing the other party, or do you feel inclined to share all their dirty deeds and put a little twist on the story for interest?

Spreading rumors is gossip, and there are many reasons why people love to pack tales. If the situation ended on a sour note, you might want to make yourself look and feel like the victim in the relationship. Saving face is not necessary if you keep your private business personal. Why is it that people feel the need to share everything they know with their friends and family?

A simple “it didn’t work out” should suffice any curious folks. Besides the fact that talking trash about your ex is not in good taste, it can have some negative psychological repercussions. Here are some reasons why spreading rumors is not healthy.

1. It Makes You Look Childish

Imagine sitting around the lunch table at work talking about all the horrible things your ex did to you. While a couple of people may be curious to hear the scoop, most of your coworkers would rather you save the details for a more captive audience. When you are spreading rumors and talking about intimate things that went wrong, it makes you look childish.

Remember the days of grade school where your best friend ran and told the teacher every time you looked at her wrong? Your family and friends may feel that you are a bit childish if you are spreading gossip. An adult should be man or woman enough to admit it didn’t work out and move on.

2. A Rumor Keeps You in a Negative Mindset

Life is full of disappointments and trials, and when you’re dealing with a broken relationship, it can be quite a blow to your esteem. However, it’s not as much about what happened to you as it is your choice to ruminate about it. When you focus on the negative things that happen in life, then it’s setting you up for a pessimistic outlook.

Instead, why not take positive matters from your relationship and choose to remember these things? There will undoubtedly be several relationships in your life that don’t work out, romantic and otherwise. If you dwell on all the things that went wrong, you won’t be able to get past the negativity.

As counselors will reveal, broken dreams hurt, but you must learn to move beyond the brokenness to find healing. If you’re constantly dwelling on the past and the negative parts about it, then you can’t move on to the future.

3. You May Get a Bad Reputation

Do you know that person in the family or your workplace that everyone avoids? You don’t want to turn into this individual. No matter how hard you try, your constant “Negative Nelly” attitude and downward demeanor are a real turn off.

People want to be around those that lift them and make them smile. If you’re continually trashing your ex and talking about all your problems, then the individuals in your life may want to steer clear of any interaction with you. Additionally, if you’re telling things that aren’t 100 percent true, then it also has some serious consequences.

4. Your Stories May Come Back to Bite You

It’s often said that there’s his side, her side, and somewhere in the middle is the truth. You see things from your point of view, and your partner has their opinions. However, you need to make sure that what you are telling is the truth.

Anything you say can come back to bite you later. For instance, let’s assume this person wants to get back together with you. You’ve had time apart, and now you realize you can’t live without each other. What about all those rumors and stories you told about them?

Your friends and family may tell the other person all the things that you said, and they might not even do it on purpose. The lies you tell can come back and haunt you later, especially should you reignite your passion.

5. Rumors Can Affect Your Children

If your relationship was more than a short fling, then you may have children from the union. It’s hard to talk trash about your ex when there are little ears around you. Remember, little ones are listening to everything you have to say.

When you are trashing their mom or dad, it’s very hurtful to them. It would help if you allowed children to form their own opinions, and they will. As your kids grow and mature, they will see the people who are there for them and those who aren’t.

Additionally, just because you had a bad relationship with their other parent doesn’t mean that they will be anything less than a great mother or father to their children. You don’t want your kids to see you in a negative light, and when you’re spreading rumors about their parents, it can cause problems.

6. People Won’t Trust You

Sadly, along with getting a bad reputation, people won’t trust you if you’re sharing intimate details about someone else with them. If there’s any golden rule of relationships, it’s that if people are talking about others with you, then they are talking about you with others.

When someone confides in a friend, they trust that the friend won’t be spreading their business all over town. If they hear you are always talking smack about a bad relationship, they will be less likely to want to share anything with you. They will be afraid that you will share anything that they tell you with others, and their fears are warranted.

7. You Can Be Sued for Slander

When you’re hurt, it always sounds better to add a little bit of juice to the story, especially if you’re trying to save face. However, today’s society is “sue happy,” and they are more than eager to take you to court. While Defamation of Character is a widely overused term, it’s grounds for a suit.

If you have said things about your ex that can affect their business or personal standings, it can cost you big time. Never put anything on social media outlets. If there is one shred of proof that can back up their claims, then a judge will likely rule in their favor.

8. Bad Karma Always Comes Back Around

Karma is the universe’s way of rewarding or punishing deeds. If you plant goodness into your garden, then you will receive kindness in return. However, if you plant negativity, gossip, and lying in life’s garden, then karma will not be so kind.

Remember the old saying, “what goes around will come back around?” When you are telling lies and spreading gossip, the same judgment that you give out to others is going to come back on you. It may not happen today, tomorrow, or even in the next year, but at some point in your life, you will be repaid for your evil deeds.

9. You Can Hurt the Other Person

Most folks think that the best way to get back at someone who has hurt you is to cut them in return. However, you can do some real damage when you spread vicious rumors. More importantly than what others think, how will the person you once loved feel when they hear the things you’re saying?

You don’t want to do anything that will be a stumbling block to anyone, especially someone you once had intense feels about. Causing them to have issues in their personal or professional life is downright mean. Could you live with the guilt if you got them fired or had other severe repercussions over lies?

10. They Can Retaliate

According to the NIH, retaliation or reprisal can have a “chilling effect” on relationships.

Be careful what you say to others about your ex. Not all people take rumors and gossip so kindly. Some folks believe in the “eye for an eye” type of retaliation. Your ex may start spreading rumors about you or worse yet do things to get back at you.

Many unbalanced people in this world will stop at nothing to get revenge. Do you want to take a chance of a severe retaliation against you? When you threaten someone’s reputation or well-being with lies, there is no telling what they might do to get revenge.

Final Thoughts: Move on Gracefully from Your Ex Without Spreading Rumors

Though it’s difficult, it’s always best to count your losses and move on. If you need a therapist to help you through a bad breakup, then go to therapy. You don’t want to hurt others because karma can and will pay you back for your misguided deeds.

Don’t start rumors. Instead, you will find it best to forgive. Only then can you can move on with someone new. You deserve to have someone who will love you 100 percent and won’t cause the problems of your previous partner. Shake the dust off your feet and start the journey to find someone new.

What is your recurring dream trying to tell your subconscious?

Have you ever dreamed of breathlessly running down a long hallway, but you never found the door? Or, perhaps you are back in school and can’t find your classroom, and you have an overwhelming fear of being late. Psychology Today reports that 60 to 75% of adults have recurring dreams.

“A recurring dream probably merits close attention. Something wants you to pay attention.” Amy Hardie

What Messages Your Dreams Might Be Sending

Interpreting dreams has been an essential part of human history. Dream Moods explains that clay tablets depicting visions have been discovered, dating as far back as 4,000 B.C. In every phase of history, dreams contained vital information concerning the dreamers or the world around them.

Our modern psychologists believe that dreams may help people process daily experiences, particularly those that are threatening. NCBI published the results of a study on the effects of the subconscious on dreaming.

The study concluded that a person’s level of frustration or satisfaction influenced dreams and the emotional interpretation of those dreams. Those who experienced recurring dreams had more psychological defeat daily. They concluded that dreams might help people process feelings and daily experiences. The messages dreams are sending may be interpreted negatively or positively depending on a person’s state of mind.

Ten Messages Psychologists Tell You Never to Ignore

When specific dreams become more prevalent, it may be that your mind is pointing toward essential facts about your daily life. Your mind may be trying to solve a problem during sleep that you haven’t been able to resolve while you are awake.

Our dreams provide insight into our daily lives. Do not ignore these ten recurring dream themes.

1. Dreams about falling.

Psychologist Ian Wallace believes falling is a feeling of losing control over aspects of your life. You may be feeling like the responsibility is weighing heavily on you, and you have no escape. If you keep dreaming about falling, it may be time to destress.

2. Injuries, death, or losing teeth.

These themes may indicate a lack of self-esteem. Death can mean change is ahead, and you are leaving the past behind and moving forward to new things. Dream expert Patricia Garfield suggests teeth falling out may be linked to suppressed anger. When we grind our teeth or clench our jaw, this can cause us to lose teeth in a dream.

3. An embarrassing public performance or failing a test.

Many people dream bout failing an exam or embarrassing themselves in public. This type of dream indicates you are stressing out about something before you fall asleep. They man mean you can’t follow through with something meaningful. The bottom line is that you are most likely feeling anxious and worried during the day.

4. Wearing little or no clothing.

This dream is about feeling embarrassed or ashamed. Ian Wallace states that this theme may mean you are feeling vulnerable in a new relationship or at a new job. You may be fearful that people will learn about your weaknesses. If you dream about wearing pajamas to an important event, it may be a sign of insecurity about an upcoming event in your life.

5. Dreams about being chased.

Lauri Loewenberg, a dream expert, believes that recurring dreams about being chased are people’s way of trying to avoid conflict. What’s chasing you in real life may be debt, trying to work out a problem, or unfulfilled dreams that are chasing you because you haven’t worked toward achieving your goal.

6. Apocalyptic and natural disaster dreams.

If you suffer from these dreams, you are not alone. This imagery is a common theme and may mean you feel you have lost control over a personal problem. Perhaps you feel threatened about something in your life. These feelings can make you feel vulnerable when you are awake, so they should be addressed.

7. Crashing a car or technical difficulties.

Patricia Garfield explains that dreaming about your computer or phone breaking may mean you have a problem connecting emotionally to someone, or you may have relationship issues. You may be feeling unsupported in real life, and you may require some help working out your feelings.

8. Dreams about being pregnant.

Men and women can dream of being pregnant. David Bedrick, a dream psychologist, says that this may indicate that you are giving birth to new creations and ideas. If you are in the middle of an important project, and you have this dream, set goals, and work hard to bring your visions to reality.

9. Dreams about being late.

Michael Olsen, a dream expert, suggests that dreaming about being late may be an instant fear of missing out. If you are stressed out and feeling that you don’t have time for what’s essential in your life, this dream may be telling you it’s time to slow down. Set time out for the things and people in your life that you love.

10. Unfamiliar houses or rooms.

Psychotherapist, Eddie Traversa, tells us the rooms represented in our dreams represent internal conflict. These dreams may also represent internal changes. If you dream about a bathroom, you may need to declutter or clean up your emotions. Bedrooms can symbolize worries about romance.

11. Dreams About Your Partner Leaving You

Many people have experienced the scary dream about your partner leaving. Dreams are not usually literal but are a representation of thoughts and feelings. Fear of having a loved one walkout is not unusual and may represent itself in the course of our dreams.

If your partner leaving you is turning into a common theme in your dreams, you may be insecure about your relationship. There may be problems with your relationship that you need to address. Talking about those fears with your partner is a healthy way to resolve your issues.

When these types of dreams continue to be a concern and cause nightmares, this may lead to insomnia. It may be time to seek help to ensure that your mental and physical health is not being negatively affected.

Can Dreams Impact Your Health?

Dream research indicates that dreams may reveal signs about health. While some people believe dreams are just random thoughts swirling about in our sleep, research shows that dreams may be an indicator of physical and mental health.

Some of the research has indicated that recurring dreams may be important indicators of your health.

Dreams may be indications that you have heart disease or sleep apnea and are being generated as a nightmare as a warning sign.

• If you wake up from recurring dreams in the early morning, this may arise from a mood disorder like anxiety or depression, which is preventing you from a healthy REM cycle during the night.
• Vivid and bizarre dreams don’t mean anything is wrong, but they may indicate a problem with alcohol, medications, or Parkinson’s disease.
• Consistently having bad dreams may be an issue of poor diet or a vitamin deficiency or maybe a sensory trigger from movies, music, or events you witnessed during the day.

Dreams are essential for several reasons. They mean you are sleeping deeply and experiencing REM. This level of sleep is necessary for our bodies and brains to function well. Dreams also bring to life the emotions that we feel during the day but often don’t address. They bring those emotions to light in a new way and often help heal emotional wounds.

Dreams are essentially stripping the emotion out of negative experiences by creating a new memory. This experience is healthy for us because it helps process our feelings. If we can’t handle emotions, we will be more prone to anxiety and worry. Dreams are good for our mental health.

For those who have experienced emotional trauma, or PTSD, dreams can be therapeutic. The University of California conducted a sleep study that concluded people who have experienced psychological trauma have stress hormones released. The brain can work through that event during dreams and divorce the mind from the associated emotions.

Final Thoughts on Using Recurring Dreams for Positive Change

Powerofpositivity.com explains how you can use dreams to make positive changes. Consider using your dreams to make reasonable changes in your life. Your dreams may be giving you clues to subconscious problems you are not addressing. They may be giving you advice about insecurities you are not able to face when you are awake.

Don’t ignore or discarding recurring dreams. Try writing down your dreams as soon as you wake up, when they are fresh in your mind. If you don’t write them down, they will be as elusive as ascending smoke from a fire. And so, they will disappear into thin air.

Look up the themes of your dreams, especially if you have recurring dreams. If you have concerns, you can talk to a dream therapist who can help you find answers to the clues your mind is telling you when you are asleep. Dreams can be the answers to mental and physical issues if you learn to interpret and understand what they are trying to say to you.

It seems like vulnerability is a big topic these days in people looking for their soul mate.

What does being vulnerable mean anyway? It merely involves putting yourself in a position that you could either be hurt physically or emotionally.

It sounds easy to let down your defenses when it comes to the one you love, but it’s not as easy as it may appear. You have a natural defense mechanism that is there to protect you from being hurt, and when you let down your guard, it means exposing the most intimate parts of yourself.

Many people push away love because they don’t like to share some of the most intimate parts of their hearts, and it’s quite scary to expose yourself. When something goes wrong, the first thing you want to do is withdraw from the situation to avoid getting hurt. However, what if you stay and work through it?

Is it possible to control your natural-born instinct to defend yourself? So many people are missing out on love because they prefer to isolate and withhold the secret, innermost parts of their hearts. To accept and express affection requires vulnerability, and if you don’t master this art, then you may never find your true love.

Engage in The Act of Generosity

Generosity and vulnerability go hand-in-hand, according to the London Journal of Primary Care. Moreover, it improves your general feeling of wellness.

When you’re generous, you are showing an outward expression of the compassion and sensitivity you have deep inside. Being generous to a partner will show that you are willing to give your time and energy to help them.

Let’s assume your partner is sick and needs assistance. When they’re ill and can’t get out of bed, that’s when they need you the most. So, you clean their apartment and bring them chicken soup and tea. You’re allowing yourself to see them at their worst, and they are accepting your gift and showing their vulnerability too.

Remember, being vulnerable is a two-way street. You’re not on your “A” game when you are down and out and sick. When you do a generous act like taking care of an ill person, it gives you both a sense of gratification. Another benefit is it helps to counteract the human desire to withhold from others.

Authentic generosity

You open yourself up for emotional exchanges that you might not have the opportunity for when you isolate. Make a strong effort to give in a situation where you normally would stand back. Don’t expect any reciprocal treatment for the act, but you should do something kind to help another person.

If you make a nice gesture in the hopes of getting something in return, then you miss out on the true spirit of generosity. Plus, you won’t learn how to be vulnerable. There are many ways that you can be generous. The easiest way to do so is by buying gifts or giving money.

However, these acts are a little less emotional and don’t have the same psychological impact as something that comes from the heart. To be labeled a generous person, you must be willing to drop everything in your schedule to lend a helping hand. You will notice that you will look for opportunities to respond to people in need, even if it’s just offering a shoulder to cry on.

Commitment to your relationship

When you’re in a committed relationship, there should always be acts of generosity that go back and forth. You must learn to receive as much as you give, which can also be difficult for some. It’s the same reason why some women don’t like to have the doors opened and closed for them.

Allowing someone to do something for you takes away your power to do it for yourself. Sure, any woman can open her car door, but it’s something special when her partner does it for her. It shows that he or she will take care of her and go the extra mile to protect her.

Generosity is physical and emotional

Keep in mind that generosity isn’t just a physical display, either. Your words and actions can also be giving. Compliment your love on how they look and help them to destroy any negative self-image they may have. While this gift doesn’t cost a dime, its value is priceless.

Lastly, when you give to someone else, you feel liberated, energized, and less defensive. It will teach you how to be fulfilled in relationships. Many say that it’s essential to your emotional wellbeing, but it’s also a moral way to live your life.

Be Clear About Your Wants and Needs

Another way that you can show your vulnerability is by communicating your wants and needs. Your self-protective defense wants you to keep your desires hidden, and in many instances, people turn to others to find gratification for those desires. When you hide your agenda, you risk falling into narcissism, according to researchers.

Additionally, during your isolated times, you develop an attitude that you don’t need anyone else, and you can take care of yourself. It’s weird to ask someone for a need as it puts you in an inferior state where you may feel shame, and when you feel guilt, it’s often a painful emotion that you relate to childhood events.

Many children go through life longing to be understood, seen by others, loved, and touched by affection. Sadly, many didn’t get their needs met, so they develop a shame when they ask for friendship and humiliation because they will never seem like anything more than an unlovable child.

Even in their adult life, they feel the pangs of humiliation asking their partner for the things they need. It may be as simple as needing to hear at least once each day the words “I love you.” Yet, many can’t even bring themselves to ask for such a simple request.

If you want to meet and build a relationship with your soul mate, then you must be vulnerable. It will require overcoming your resistance to communicate with that person about your wants and needs. This also puts you in an uncomfortable position because you are putting yourself out there for a rejection or even frustration.

Thankfully, when you make these simple requests based on your needs, you will become stronger and more aware that you are no longer a child who feels pushed into the corner. There’s no shame or humiliation in asking for your needs to be met.

Offer and Receive Affection

You encourage vulnerability when you both offer and accept affection from others. Over time, you will learn that your soul mate isn’t going to use your vulnerable times to control you. When you share warmth and love with others, then you are making a statement that you’re ready to receive it in return.

Affection is both verbal and physical. It can be playful, tender, caring, or seductive. However, it’s given, it’s an outward expression of your generous nature and fulfilling the needs of others as well as asking for your needs to be filled.

But, how do you achieve this?

At first, you may feel a bit anxious or uncomfortable as these behaviors are new and challenging to display. You need to protect yourself will undoubtedly come into play too. There’s always the risk that you will be hurt, or someone will take advantage of your generous nature.

However, if you hold steadfast and put your doubts aside, then you will learn why vulnerability in love is so essential. Research proves that individuals who had issues from their childhood that stem from abandonment, controlling, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, and neglect often have problems with vulnerability. These people withdrawal into themselves and walk on eggshells around others.

It makes it hard to have a meaningful relationship with someone who isn’t emotionally available. However, you can teach someone to be more vulnerable by giving them the tools they need to build confidence. Working with a therapist is a great place to start. If you want long and meaningful relationships, you must open yourself to the innermost parts you hide from others.

Final Thoughts on the Connection Between Vulnerability and Falling in Love

The beauty of finding your “person” or partner in life is that this is the one that understands you better than anyone else. Some people note that they find it easier to let down their walls when it’s with the right one.

Your partner will make you feel like an equal and not less than in life. Research indicates that with therapy, your childhood battles, and feelings of abandonment and neglect, can melt away when you’re in a safe place. What is it that you hold back in love, and how has it affected your ability to have meaningful relationships?

If you’ve been unlucky in love, perhaps it’s time to explore if your lack of a vulnerable nature had anything to do with it. You can learn to open and expose those secretive places to someone who isn’t there to hurt you, but they only wish to help.

Your hair makes a statement about you. Whether it’s long, short, curly, or straight, your hairstyle reflects your personality. Some people change their hairstyles regularly, while others keep the same hairstyle their entire life. No matter what your hairstyle, it represents you to the world.  So, what does your hairstyle reveals about your personality?

What is hair?

Your hair is composed of a durable protein called keratin. Keratin is tough and impermeable, so it won’t dissolve when wet.  Your hair follicles are the little holes you see on your scalp. Each follicle holds your hair in place at the root, where it widens into a hair bulb.

Your hair bulb is consistently producing cells that divide and grow into hair shafts. Your genetics and hormones affect your hair growth and structure. Depending upon the shape of your hair follicle, your hair will be curly or straight.

Your genes also contribute to the look of your hair. Hair color depends upon how much melanin is in your hair cells. As you age, your hair loses melanin causing your hair to turn white or gray.

Researchers suggest that your hair does more than make you look great. The hair on your head protects from the sun while your eyelashes and eyebrows protect your eyes from dirt and dust. Those not-so-nice looking nose and ear hairs prevent germs from entering your body, and the hair on your body hair helps keep you warm.

Your relationship with your hairstyle

You can get as creative as you want with your hair. Your hair is a great way to show off who you are to the world. In the popular Broadway musical, “Hair,” the theme song describes the creative passion people have for their hair.

 I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy

Snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty

Oily, greasy, fleecy

Shining, gleaming, streaming

Flaxen, waxen

Knotted, polka-dotted

Twisted, beaded, braided

Powdered, flowered, and confettied

Bangled, tangled, spangled, and spaghettied!

You may not be interested in spaghettied or confettied hair. But that’s okay because your hair still reveals a lot about your personality.

On what side of your head do you part your hair?

Here is what your part reveals about you.

Left side parts

Men and women who part their hair on the left side of their heads are viewed to have a masculine personality. Parting your hair on the left means, you are logical, analytical, and linear in your thinking. A left-sided part, also suggests you’re organized and confident. Famous people who part their hair on the left include Hillary Clinton and Margaret Thatcher.

 Right side parts

Creative,  feminine types part their hair on the right side. If you part your hair on the right, you may be perceived as fun-loving and reliable. Famous people who part their hair on the right side include Martha Stewart and Clark Kent.

Middle part or no part

If you part your hair in the middle or have no actual part, you’re seen as balanced, wise, and trustworthy. Famous people with the middle part or no part at all include Gwenyth Paltrow and Sean Connery.

Hairstyle vibes

Here’s how your hair’s styling comes into play.

Loose and natural

If you let your natural waves shine through, you’re probably a creative type with energy and a keen sense of purpose. You like the freedom of letting your hair do its thing because that’s who you are. Your casualness may make it tough for you to maintain relationships; you just like being alone too much.

You may keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself and find it hard to open up emotionally. Don’t worry, your free and easy style makes you fun to be with you, anyway. Just relax and let your true fun self shine through, and you’ll find the right relationships.

 No nonsense ponytail

If you wear your hair in a ponytail, you are probably a goal-oriented person with a plan for the day. You may be athletic and love the polished, natural look you can pull off quickly after a run. You’re elegant at the same time because this hairstyle is so versatile. You exude pure professionalism that makes people listen to your ideas. Stay as stylish as you are. You will light up the room when you walk in.

Curls for you

If you wear your hair curly, you are a free-spirit, fun-loving person. You aren’t fussy about your style. You love romantic movies that make you cry. And, you have friends for all seasons, and everyone wants to hang with you because you make them feel so special.

Finally, you may need to slow down and give yourself breaks from people to prevent burnout. Let your free, easy way lead you into calming times alone to recharge your batteries.

 Thick mane

If you have thick hair, you may be seen as reliable and sometimes a little stubborn. That’s okay because you are high energy, and you always get the job done when others are just getting started. You have a firm point of view about life because you’re not a follower. Sometimes without realizing it, you plow ahead and forget others around you.  But be sure to keep track of those around you, Use your high energy to draw others into your success. This will help you stand out even more than your thick mane of hair already does.

 Straight hair

Wearing straight hair means you are more conservative. Your co-workers view you as a serious person whom they can count on in any situation.  Even your family and friends see you as a dedicated and authoritative person with high standards for yourself. Because of this, you may be perfectionistic. Don’t forget to allow yourself some relaxation and fun. You are a professional at what you do, so give yourself a little vacay from all that responsibility every so often. You are headed for great things, so stay just the way you are.

 Short and unafraid

If you wear your hair short, you aren’t afraid to be different. You’re probably trendy and confident. Your cropped hair looks professional, too, so you give off these vibes at work, which makes people want to get to know you. Stay true to yourself if you want to keep your hair short, do it. Don’t be afraid to make a loud statement of who you are. Don’t worry if you’re told you’re not a team player. This is because you color outside the lines more than most people, and that’s the best part of who you are.

Other hairstyles personalities

High maintenance hairstyles

If you love curling and styling your hair, even if you’re just running to the grocery, no doubt you’re overly critical of yourself and your looks. You may be a bit of a drama queen who is fishing for some compliments. Don’t be too hard on yourself, enjoy who you are, and don’t give in to self-doubt.

Unusual hairstyle

If you wear a hairstyle that’s unconventional, you will be viewed as a fun person. You don’t follow the rules. Indeed, you make them. People find you refreshing and maybe a little intimidating because you’re so out there. Be sure to allow people to know the real you, don’t be afraid of being vulnerable around people you can trust.

 Blunt cut hairstyles

A blunt haircut suggests you are the point kind of person. You’re direct and no-nonsense about life. You’d make an excellent doctor or pharmacist. Don’t forget to reach into your emotional self and relate to people, not just with your brain but your heart.

Changeable hairstyles

What if you like to change your hairstyle a lot?  If you love change and love to switch hairstyles all the time, it could mean you are feeling a bit out of control. Changing hairstyles provide you a sense of gaining control of your life. Changeable hairstyles could also say you are feeling moody, and these moods dictate your hairstyles.

You may be searching for something, and your new hairstyle feels like the answer. Many women get a haircut in the later stages of their pregnancy. Their life is about to change big time, so a hairstyle gives them a sense of something they can control.

Avoid impulsive haircuts. You may regret it later when you’re stuck with shorter hair than you wanted. Otherwise, embrace the changeable you. If changing hairstyles is who you are and if it makes life fun for you, then keep it up.

Final Thoughts on What Your Hairstyle Reveal About Your Uniqueness

Your hairstyle choice is entirely up to you, but consider the best hairstyle for your lifestyle or job. If you’re a doctor, pigtails may not be the best choice because your patients may not feel you’re a serious person. A school teacher may want a casual, simple style for long days with kids.

Fortunately, your hair is as flexible as you are. You can take great pride in caring for their hair: washing it, conditioning it, coloring it. Hair is so versatile no matter how you style it, and it shows off your creative personality.

Go ahead and wear your hair proud, loud, and as long or short as you want because it’s your hairstyle, and it shows off your personality.

Parents have a big responsibility on their shoulders. Not only do you have a career that you must keep up with, but you also juggle your household responsibilities while raising children. Is it any wonder why therapists say that date night and bonding time with your partner is essential?

Somewhere in the mix of all the things, you must do in a day is the responsibility to take care of you. Your partner also has essential needs. Think of your relationship as a plant. If you never water your houseplant, what will happen in a week, month, or a year?

The plant will lose its color as it dries up and dies. Your relationship must be watered and pruned to blossom into something great. Bonding time with the one you love is not something that is done when you have nothing else to do, but it should be prioritized.

Why is Date Night Important?

If you’ve put your relationship on the back burner so that you can focus on the kids, your job, and all the other things you need to do, you may find yourself alone. Here are the reasons why therapists say that you need to incorporate weekly date night into your life as the social isolation can be damaging.

1 – You Need to Stay Connected

You need to have a set date night where it is all about you and your love. You want your relationship to take precedence in your life too. When you have a scheduled night, it gives you time dedicated to talking about all the things going on in your life.

Many couples just give each other a quick kiss on the way out the door in the morning, come back home to a house of chaos with dinner, chores, and get the kids bathed and to bed. There is little time to devote to one another’s needs. Some people find it quite romantic to have a time set aside that is just for them.

During your date, make sure there is a quiet place where you can talk. Just because you have children and careers doesn’t mean that you stop dreaming. Where do you see yourself in a year, five years, or a decade from now? Growing old together takes careful planning, and you want to make sure you’re both on the same page.

Connecting with your partner is about more than romance. You need to communicate on a spiritual level. If you want your relationship to last and thrive, then you will ensure that a date night is planned each week. Don’t give them the leftovers of your hectic life. Instead, make sure that they are a priority.

2 – Your Children are Watching

Teaching and training children are a big responsibility. They watch your every move, and they will even mimic you throughout life. How many times did you say that you didn’t want to be like your mom or dad, yet you find yourself using the same phrases and punishment methods with your children?

Your children are also watching how you treat their other parent. They will pattern their life and relationships based on what you teach them. If they grow up in a home of dysfunction where the parents are fighting and arguing constantly, they will think this toxic behavior is normal.

However, if they grow up in a home where they see their parents love and nurturing their relationship, these behaviors become commonplace. Think of it as planting seeds in a garden of life. One day, those seeds will sprout and form into mature plants.

Your children are like seeds. They are slowly growing and becoming wiser and stronger. When they are fully grown, you want them to be healthy and full of sustenance. They will use what they learn in their formative years to raise their family, and you are a significant part of this development.

Healthy relationships are essential as your children are watching you. If dad opens the door for mom, then the son learns that he should open the door for his partner in life. Showing the proper way to treat a lady or man has a ripple effect, and it will come back around.

3 – Your Needs Are Important Too

Every man and woman needs companionship as it’s a part of their makeup. You need to be cuddled, kissed, hugged, and have someone think you are spectacular. Your needs are essential in life.

If you do not have someone who makes you feel like the man or woman you are, then you will feel like something is lacking in your life. When the world seems cold and dark, you can always find sunshine and light in the eyes and heart of the one you share a relationship with.

Many couples put a great deal of emphasis on each other and their needs in the beginning. However, the cares of life tend to bog you down. When you’re no longer in active pursuit, it’s commonplace to lose the zeal and thrill of the chase.

However, you must put your needs at the top of your to-do-list. Love and relationships are an essential part of life, and they are just as necessary to a human being as getting your next meal.

4 – Parenting is Tough

One of the reasons therapists suggest that you go on a date night without the kids is because parenting is tough. You need to have one day where you can get out without your brood in tow.

You need one night where you don’t have children hanging on your every word and clinging to your legs, calling your name. Your mind, body, and soul need a break from parenting on occasion. Don’t feel guilty or like you are letting your kids down if you take a break.

The parent who takes time for their needs will do a better job and be more relaxed. Have you ever got to the point where you were so stressed out that any little sound made you feel like you were reaching the boiling point? Feelings like that can cause you to lash out when the situation isn’t nearly as bad as it seems.

You need a date night so that you can be a better parent. You will be surprised how wonderful you feel once you’ve had a break from the daily grind. It gives you a whole new perspective on life.

5 – You Need Something to Look Forward Too

Life would be pretty dull if all you had to look forward to was going to work and coming home to make dinner. It doesn’t matter if you’re 25 or 50 years of age, you need to have something that you anticipate.

Having a bright spot in your week can give you the strength to get up one more day. Life would be boring if all you ever did was work. Your date night should include things like:

•Trying new restaurants

•Watching the latest movies

•Taking long drives in the country with the radio blaring

•Going to concerts

•Going wine tasting

•Walks along the beach of a lake or the ocean

•Hitting the shopping mall

•Bowling or playing other games together

6 – Avoid Becoming Logistical Partners

The final reason you need to make sure you have a night for dates each week is that you will become logistical partners if not. Does the bulk of your conversations involve around who will take Suzie to piano practice, while picking up Bobbie from his baseball game?

Children can run you ragged, especially if they are involved in extracurricular activities. If you are like two ships that pass in the night, then your relationship will suffer. If your conversations are always about someone or something else, then you need to refocus your attention.

How many times have you heard someone say that they broke up because they just drifted apart? They are not mad at each other, and they didn’t leave on bad terms. It is just that they lost the closeness that they once felt. It’s sad because it happens every day.

Final Thoughts on Planning a Weekly Date Night

You probably feel like you’re pulled in 150 directions during the week. Your children need you; your job requires you, and your household needs you. However, the most important thing of all is that your spouse needs you.

To create a healthy family environment where your children can grow and be well balanced requires you to have a good relationship with your partner. Your children are watching how you treat each other, seeing if there is any affection, and they know if you would rather fight than be in the same room.

Remember all the reasons why you got together in the first place. Keep the flame and passion alive by incorporating a date night into your routine. The bonding time you create during this dedicated time is what you need to get through the pressures of life. It’s okay to feel like you are dating again and having fun. It’s what life’s all about.

Everyone has their unique coping methods for getting over a breakup. However, some may be much more effective than others. It’s essential to go through your grief in the right way to get you back on your feet again. We share ten ways to cope with heartbreak (and ten behaviors to avoid).

10 “Dos” When You Must Cope with Heartbreak

1. Do Seek Support

It’s perfectly natural to want to talk to someone about your breakup. You probably have a lot of feelings festering up inside of you. Look for opportunities to express your emotions in an appropriate setting. Go to the people who are closest to you first. Of course, you want to avoid anyone who may be caught in the middle of the breakup. Venting to them could make them feel uncomfortable.

In the case of life-altering breakups or leaving an abusive relationship, you may want to go to a therapist or support group. The damage inflicted may be more serious than a gab session with your mom or best friend can manage.

2. Do Focus on Your Physical Health

When you treat your body well, you will notice a positive change in your mental health as well. Eat well and exercise. Focus on foods filled with nutrition and not empty calories. Stay away from fried foods and processed foods. You should also make a point to get out and exercise throughout the week. A body in motion stays in motion, so your body will continue to move correctly as long as you work it out.

3. Do Stay Busy

The last thing you need is too much time on your hands. You may end up dwelling on the breakup, causing you to feel bad about yourself. Instead, fill up your calendar with different events to keep you busy. When you are out doing things every night, you won’t have time to think about the person who hurt you.

4. Do Help Others

Breakups tend to bring out the selfish side of us. We wallow in self-pity and talk about ourselves a lot. Instead, it might be more beneficial to go out and help others. Spend time with family members or volunteer at a charitable organization. You will not only be helping others, but it can also make you feel good about yourself.

5. Do Examine Your Dating Practices

While you shouldn’t place blame on anyone (especially yourself), you should take time to think about some of your dating habits. You may be able to make some changes that will help you in your future dating ventures. Do you tend to fall for bad boys? Are you too clingy? Do you flirt with other people outside of the relationship? Look at some things you can change to help yourself succeed in love the next time around.

6. Do Cry

Some people try their hardest not to cry or feel angry about the end of their relationship. However, it’s a natural reaction to feel a certain way. You should not feel bad about your emotions. In fact, it is best to take some time to explore how you are feeling.

Otherwise, you only bottle up your feelings inside of you. Take a night to listen to sad breakup songs with a scoop of ice cream to let it out. When it’s finally all out there, you’ll feel a lot better. Just don’t make it a habit.

7. Do Get a Pet

You may have a lot of love you want to share. Get a cute pet to focus your love on. You can dote on your new cat, dog, or lizard (whatever pet you’re into). Just remember a pet is a big responsibility and commitment.

8. Do Focus on Other Relationships

Your romantic relationship wasn’t the only relationship in your life. Consider all of the family relationships in your life– your parents, grandparents, siblings, friends, etc. Spend some time developing those relationships.

9. Do Find a Creative Outlet

You need to find a way to express yourself in a safe, creative way after heartbreak. Some people choose to start painting, singing, or writing. You can talk about the breakup or a variety of other topics affecting you at the moment.

10. Do Date

You should go out and start dating again–when you are ready.  You may want to give it a couple of weeks or months before going on your first date. Only you know the best timeframe for you, as confirmed by research. But you shouldn’t get too used to staying inside every day. When a new dating opportunity comes up, take it. Take things slowly and casually before you fall in love headfirst again, though.

10 Don’ts When You Suffer from Heartbreak

1. Don’t Overindulge

Some people choose to make themselves feel better by overindulging in certain activities, such as drinking or casual sex. It may make you feel better at the moment, but it won’t lead to long-term happiness. Watch how much you engage in reckless behavior.

2. Don’t Contact Your Ex

Your ex was a large part of your life. It’s hard to entirely and suddenly stop talking to a person who was once so important in your life. When something good or bad happens in your life, your instinct may be to pick up the phone and give your ex a call. You may also want to call just to see how they are doing. Avoid all temptations. Contacting your ex will only lead to a complicated relationship that can prevent you from moving on and even more heartbreak. It’s over. Only talk to your ex when you need to.

3. Don’t Talk About the Breakup on Social Media

Social media is an excellent place for people to express themselves. However, you don’t want to tell everyone about what’s going on in your life. Rants about your ex may be entertaining to other people, but it will only make you look crazy and unprofessional.

4. Don’t Stoop to Their Level

Breakups can bring out the worst in people. When someone is emotional, they may do something mean. When your ex starts making your life difficult, you may be tempted to stoop down to their level and retaliate. Don’t do it. You may only make yourself look bad or even get yourself in trouble. Even when your ex goes low, you need to stay high.

5. Don’t Let Yourself Go

After a breakup, you may not shave or do your regular skincare routine. However, you need to keep up on these things more than ever in the case of a new prospect coming along. You don’t want a new potential significant other to see you in your pajamas with no makeup during the day.

6. Don’t Hold onto Gifts/Items

You and your former partner may have gifted each other things throughout the relationship. The items will become a reminder of your relationship when they are gone. You may enjoy a certain pair of shoes or piece of jewelry, but you shouldn’t wear those items if it’s going to be a constant reminder of a failed relationship.

7. Don’t Become a Shut-in

After a breakup, the world may look scary and unfriendly. You may not want to go out and socialize with people. However, you need to overcome these feelings. Some people want some time to themselves after a breakup, but you may start to be depressed staying inside all of the time. You need to go out and experience fresh air. You should also go do things you enjoy and see people in your life. These things will put your life back on track.

8. Don’t Portray Yourself as a Victim

It can be easy to make yourself look like a victim without even trying. This would be especially true if you were cheated on or abused during the relationship. However, you need to make a point to remain strong. You should not lie about what happened, but you do not need to tell your story without provocation.

9. Don’t Stick to Old Negative Patterns

Many people who are unlucky in love may notice that they tend to make the same mistakes over and over again. You need to examine these mistakes and do what you can to make a change. In some cases, you may want to get professional help to assist you through your issues.

10. Don’t Rush Into the Next Relationship

Some people cure heartbreak by rushing into the next committed relationship. While you want to go out and date, you don’t want to jump a long-term commitment with another person right away. Take the time to get to know somebody. Allow things to happen organically. Otherwise, you’ve just headed toward heartbreak again.

Final Thoughts on Coping With Heartbreak So You Can Move On

These tips make it clear for people to make the right decisions for their emotional and romantic health after heartbreak. A breakup isn’t the end- it’s the start of something new and exciting. You just need to see it that way.

Marriage is a consensual union where two people love and commit to each other for life. While tying the knot is done out of love, a couple truly does not understand the meaning of the word until they have weathered life’s storms together. Marriage is not for the faint of heart, but setting ground rules can prevent misunderstandings down the road.

Some find that once they are married, they feel more like roommates rather than spouses. The daily grind can get to everyone, and the responsibility that comes with such a commitment can be overwhelming. Ground rules are essential, and they should be established before you walk down the aisle.

Ground Rules for a Successful Marriage

If you want a successful partnership and a happy life, then you need to establish some ground rules early on. You may think that it sounds silly to put requirements on a relationship that has a foundation of love. But nothing can be nastier than a married couple throwing verbal punches during an argument. Here are some ground rules that can help you ensure your union is a long and blissful one.

Also, know that while you agree to these ground rules, they can be flexible–when both parties agree. For example, your feelings about starting a family might change one day. As long as both of you agree to amend these decisions–and play by the new ruling–you’ll do just fine!

1. Don’t Go to Bed Angry

There’s an old saying that states that you should never let the sun go down on your wrath. This is so important because the longer you allow frustrations to boil, the more apt it is to drive a wedge between the two of you.

Most arguments start over silly things, and they should be resolved before you go to bed. You will lie there all night and stew about what happened. As you replay the events in your mind, you will build the situation up to be bigger than it is, and it can easily cause you to resent your spouse.

If possible, don’t go to bed before at least committing to sort things out in the morning and to apologize for any wrongdoing.

2. Vow to Never Allow Family to Interfere

One of the most significant problems in marriages is the in-laws. In many cases, they act like outlaws when it comes to their loved ones. It’s essential to establish firm boundaries regarding the relatives early on.

Never allow your parents or siblings to speak ill of your partner. Additionally, you must ensure that they don’t stick their nose into your business. Your union must be strong, and you cannot let your relatives ruin your successful partnership.

In-laws can quickly destroy your relationship with meddling, especially when you have children. So it’s best that you set firm boundaries with them on what behaviors you expect and what you won’t tolerate.

3. Decide the Financial Stuff

There was a joint checking account in the olden days, and one person handled all the bills. Today’s couples are a bit more diverse in how finances are done. Do you tend to be old fashioned, or do you want to keep money separate?

It’s important to discuss these issues upfront. It can get very messy if two people are trying to pay bills and dipping into the proverbial cookie jar. Finances are one of the problems that can ruin a marriage quicker than anything else, so establish early on how things are done. Decide on a plan that is acceptable for both of you.

Another thing to consider is that neither party should make a significant purchase without talking to one another. Set a dollar limit that you shouldn’t go over without discussing it. The same should be said about opening credit and going in debt.

4. Determine if You Want Children

Another issue that is common among couples is the desire to be a parent. One may want to be a mom or dad while the other one isn’t interested in offspring. It doesn’t matter which side of the fence you are on; you need to voice your desires to your partner.

Don’t skip over the issue because you are afraid to tell your partner how you feel. It could cause a significant rift later.

5. Don’t Bring up the Past

Everyone has a past, and some histories are sketchier than others. When you create a union, you cannot consistently throw your partners past in their face. If your spouse was once addicted to drugs but pulled themselves out of that lifestyle, then they shouldn’t have to live with it being brought up constantly.

You cannot change your past, but you can change your future. Leave what’s behind you alone as it’s not a life sentence.

6. Always Be Honest

Dishonesty can be a quick way to head to divorce court. It’s easy to tell a little white lie now and again, but it can get you in real trouble. Trust your partner enough, to be honest. Make a pact that no matter how upset it might make the other person that you don’t lie to each other.

7. Vow to Keep the Doors of Communication Open

It’s hard to communicate once you’re not dating, and you’re living together. Make one of your ground rules that you keep an open line of communication with each other. Even though life is busy, you should at least have one night a week reserved for date night.

If it helps, keep a list of all the things you want to discuss during that time. Take time for each other, no matter how busy you are in life. Money and prosperity can only get you so far, but if you want true happiness, you will invest in your marriage.

8. Divorce is Not an Option

There may come the point and time in your life when you want to call it quits. Perhaps, you’ve grown apart, or you have had an affair. Life never goes as you plan. Marriages that last more than five years are the anomaly these days.

How do these people that stay married for 40-50 years do it? The key is they don’t quit, no matter how hard they want too. They keep going because they took vows to the other person to have and to hold, through sickness and in health.

While not every union withstands the test of time, don’t be so eager to give up. Make up in your mind that you’re not going to quit, but instead plan to honor your commitment.

9. Don’t Use Harsh Words

Negativity can destroy a bond. For every bit of constructive criticism that you give out, you should follow that with four things of praise. If you’re always telling your spouse all the things they do wrong, you will destroy their morale, and they will avoid you.

Even when you’re amid a heated argument, and you feel like calling names, don’t resort to childish games. Be a grown-up and civilly talk about things. Make a pact and set ground rules that you won’t call names or hit each other no matter what the situation.

10. Make Sure to Keep Personal Things Personal

One of the most significant ground rules in a marriage is learning to keep private things private. If your spouse calls their family or friends and tells them all your personal stuff, it can destroy your union. Make sure these rules extend to finances, romance, children, or any information you don’t want to be shared.

Establish rules about what things should never be shared beyond your union, and make sure you both keep these things out of the public.

11. Don’t Argue in Front of Children or Others

There are very few couples that agree on everything. However, take your arguments to a private area and don’t fight in front of children, relatives, or the public. When you disagree, no matter how trivial, go somewhere that you can discuss it calmly, and don’t get everyone else involved.

12. Make Your Relationship a Priority

Marriage takes work, and it’s not easy. Your union must be a priority every day. Your spouse, their needs, and desires, should always come before your own. When your commitment to your job is complete, your spouse and children get the next priority in your day.

If you want to hang with friends or relatives and do other things, they should be after your relationship needs are met.

Setting Ground Rules for a Happy Life

There’s no rule book when it comes to marriage; however, by establishing ground rules that cover the basics and significant issues, you can take care of many problems before they happen. Love and cherish one another no matter what life throws your way.

There are going to be hundreds of times that you want to throw in the towel and file for divorce. However, there’s something special about those who stick together no matter what comes their way. In sickness and in health are significant vowels to make to a person.

Take advice from older couples that have been married for decades. They can give you the keys to a successful marriage. Don’t take advice or seek wisdom from someone who has been divorced a couple of times. You want to make your union last, so you want all the help you can get.

Raising children is not for the faint of heart. These little wonders don’t come with a manual, and by the time you figure out how to do things right, they are grown and gone. Thankfully, counselors have discovered what things that parents teach to make them grow from successful kids into thriving adults.

10 Habits of Parents of Successful Kids

There are no perfect parents in this world; there are only those who try with everything within their powers to raise good kids. Some children are more complicated than others, and for those challenging kids, you will need to keep reinventing your techniques. If you need a little parental help, then here are ten habits of parents who ensure they’re raising successful kids.

1. They Help Build Esteem

Successful kids are almost always the product of hard work. They have parents behind them that have helped to build their esteem. It’s easy to become so frustrated with life, even at a young age. Kids face pressures that adults often label as inferior, but in their world, these events are traumatic.

If you want your child to be successful in all aspects of life, then you must build their self-esteem. Even when they hit those rough patches, you will give them the skills and tips they need to overcome. Once they learn they did something once and can do it again, they will feel a sense of pride.

2. They Don’t Let Them Quit

Children are notorious for wanting to start something and then never finishing it. They may want to get involved in a sport or instrument, but they become bewildered after a short period. Parents mustn’t let children quit just because they are tired or have lost interest.

If they learn early in life that they can bow out when things get rough or they simply don’t want to do something, they will continue that pattern throughout life. Raising successful kids always starts with a drive and determination to keep going even when you feel like quitting. It will really be beneficial when they enter the working world.

3. They Teach Them Respect

Respect is taught at an early age. To get your children to respect you, there must be firm boundaries that they are expected to adhere to. Let them know what you will and will not tolerate.

If a child learns at the age of three that backtalking is not permitted, they will grow up with that mentality. Teaching principles such as these early on is the best way to raise successful children. If you want them to respect you, then you must also respect them.

A successful parent will never call names, put them down, or say anything derogatory, no matter how angry they become. Additionally, the child will automatically learn these words and actions are not permitted.

4. They Have Open Lines of Communication

A parent’s first choice is to yell, punish, or get angry when a child doesn’t do what they are told. However, you must step back and look at the situation through their eyes. Your child is subject to mood swings, bad days, and feeling off just like you.

The best way to combat when your child is acting out is to talk to them. Keep those lines of communication open. You must establish that they can easily talk about their feelings and find a resolution. Communication skills will follow them through life, and they are essential for working and having good relationships.

5. They Spend Time with Them

Your children need you. They don’t want to see you in passing as you are on your phone or computer all the time. Carve out a specific time that is for them each day. They can say how they want to spend their time.

They may want to play games, color, ride bikes, or watch a movie. If you just designed a particular hour like 6-7 pm every evening, make sure they know that they are important enough to be a part of your day.

You don’t want them to grow up with inadequacies because they were lonely or didn’t have time for them. Successful kids had parents who made time for them no matter how busy their life.

6. They Have Chores

Many parents are divided on the chore issue. Having responsibility doesn’t mean that a child must clean the whole house; it just means that they need to help. Having chores is essential for raising successful kids.

Do you want your child growing up thinking that they don’t have to do anything, and they will be waited on hand and foot? No! You want your child to know the value of hard work and why it’s essential to do an excellent job in the smallest of tasks.

7. They Teach the Value of a Dollar

Some kids are natural savers, while other children tend to love to spend their money the minute they get it. Giving your child an allowance and teaching them about savings accounts and a rainy-day fund is always advisable. They should know how it feels to save and wait to buy the one thing they’ve always wanted.

Children have lots of opportunities to put back money. Think of all the birthday and Christmas funds that they receive. Unless they need something, they should put it all in the bank but a small amount to spend. Many children can buy a nice car when they are 16 years old because their parents helped them to save.

If you just hand everything to your child, they will never know the value of a dollar. Many parents find that when a child must work for something they want, then they tend to respect it a bit more. There’s nothing wrong with a small allowance and utilizing tools to help them save.

8. They Give Firm Discipline and Direction

Gone are the days of corporal punishment, but you must discipline your children in ways that are effective for teaching. Discipline is a chance to redirect a child from a wrong behavior by showing them what to do that is right. Teach them that for every action, there is a consequence.

They should know that if they don’t make their beds and take the trash out of their room, they will be punished. Discipline should always be done in love and never in rage. Remember, they are little humans and make mistakes too. They just need a gentle nudging to learn that life isn’t always easy, and you need to do your part.

9. They Teach The Kids to Acknowledge their Feelings

The old philosophy that men aren’t allowed to cry, and girls cry too much is psychically disturbing. Your children should know from the toddler years that it’s okay for them to express themselves.

Now, you may need to show your children appropriate ways of expression, as anger is the most natural emotion to show. However, if you raise a male child to think it’s not okay to cry, then they will build anger and resentment inside. Allowing children to acknowledge their feelings and voice their concerns can help them prepare for the real stress when they get into corporate America.

10. They Enforce the Value of a Good Education

If you don’t make school valuable, then your children won’t value their education either. There should be firm guidelines for school from kindergarten on. Let them know that no matter what schoolwork and their learning come first.

Successful kids almost always have a parent behind them who is pushing them to be all they can be. Teach your children that college is not an option but rather a requirement for a good life. Once they have these things ingrained into their brains, then they will learn that school is an obligation that they must attend.

Final Thoughts on How Parents of Successful Kids Provide Firm Foundation

Raising successful kids is not an easy job. You need all the parenting tips and tricks you can find. Look to others who have raised good kids and ask them their secrets. Maybe they did something that you can efficiently utilize with your children.

Remember that everything you do, either positive or negative, will have an impact on your child and their future. Children require constant care and attention, and you must be steadfast on the rules and discipline for a good outcome.

Above all else, don’t forget to have fun and spend as much time with your babies as you possibly can. You will blink your eyes, and they will be grown. The real regrets happen after they leave the nest. So many people say they didn’t learn how to be a good parent until after their children were raised.

One of the best tips of parenting advice that anyone could give you is not to miss all the little moments as they will soon be gone. You don’t get a second chance at this monumental task. So you must ask yourself, are you raising a successful child?

There is nothing worse than listening to your children bicker and fight all day long. Sibling rivalry can quickly wear on your nerves. Most parents hear iconic phrases like “I’m telling on you,” and “He took my toy.” While you may want to run away and may have got in your car with the keys on occasion, there are ways to combat this behavior.

As your children bicker, it builds tension in your home, making it an unpleasant atmosphere. Thankfully, you can use these experiences to teach rather than to cause discord. Conflict resolution is a part of everyday life.

Using these disagreements, you can teach your children about how to resolve their issues without nasty tones and harsh words. For the parent, consistency is the key. You must set firm ground rules and not allow them to get away with things on the weekend that you don’t permit during the week.

How Do You Stop Sibling Fighting

The resolution for this common problem begins with you. By ensuring there are household rules, well-defined consequences, and you are fair with all the children. Then you can establish expectations. Keep in mind that it’s normal for children to argue.

However, as an adult, it’s your job to make sure it doesn’t get out of hand. You must keep your temper and your children under control. To help you implement a program in your home that allows for less arguing, here are six ways that therapists suggest ending sibling rivalry between brothers and sisters.

1. Establish Firm Ground Rules

Most households already have rules in place for arguing. However, if you don’t have these rules established, then take a few minutes to develop a list that your family can use. Call a family meeting and tell the children the importance of following these guidelines.

Consistency is essential. If you don’t give consequences when the rules aren’t followed, then they won’t see the need to obey. Make sure you are clear on your expectations as children love to push boundaries as far as you will allow them.

Remember, some days are going to be better than others, and you must rule with understanding. Kids are going to be kids, and brothers and sisters are going to argue. You are just the referee in their daily encounters.

2. Never Compare Your Children

Did you know that one of the main reasons why sibling rivalry exists is because parents compare children? When one child is doing well, it’s easy to brag about them as you are proud of their accomplishments. However, while the child making the right decisions does deserve praise, there are other children than are feeling insufficient.

Never compare two children against each other; instead, make sure to make a point of good qualities of all. Try to find something to praise each child daily, even if it’s just for helping to bring in the groceries. Remember, that negativity will feed negativity. If you want your children to be positive, then you must set the example.

It’s essential that all your children feel loved and wanted by you. The older your kids get, the harder it is to connect and show your love. It’s easy when they are young and will allow you to hold and cuddle them, but those tactics don’t work on teenagers.

Don’t fall into the trap of comparing your children’s attitudes, behaviors, grades, or general demeanor. When you praise one over the other, you are setting your household up for sibling rivalry. Sadly, most sibling rivalry doesn’t end when children reach adulthood.

3. Treat All Children Fairly

Another thing that parents often do without realizing it is that they play favorites. It’s easy to love and be close to that child that is doing well and seems to have it together. However, the tides will turn. It seems children rotate, and one does well for a while, then the other one takes a walk on the wild side.

You must create a trust system among your offspring. One of the biggest causes of rivalry is when one child feels that they are not the favorite. They will vie for your attention and use behaviors, both good and bad, to get it.

You must be fair to all your kids and ensure that the rules are not made for one. The difficulty is that each child has unique needs, and your discipline style must vary. While you may use different tactics, you must ensure that all parties get a fair punishment.

4. Rule with Regularity

In parenting, stability is everything. If your children know your weak spots, then they will use them to their advantage. You cannot bend, adjust, or change the rules for any child. To set a good example for your kids, you want them to learn the fine art of being consistent.

Now, on the other hand, parents must remember if you don’t want your home full of sibling rivalry, then you cannot argue with their mom or dad in front of them. Sure, you will have disagreements, but you need to take them to a private room. So if you want your children to learn to get along with each other, then you must learn to do the same.

If the rules say you must make your bed in the morning, then they must receive a consequence when the bed is not made. Thus, if you don’t punish when a rule is broken, then they will break them time and again. Plus, your child will quickly learn you don’t stick with your word, which is a dangerous position to be in a parent.

5. Allow Them Some Space to Work it Out

Part of being an effective parent is giving your kids the tools to work through conflicts. If your children start to argue, then you don’t always have to step in to assist. Sometimes, you need to lay down your referee whistle and let them figure it out.

You can encourage them to use their words and take turns talking about the issues, but don’t be so quick to jump in with punishments. Teach them to identify the problem, and you must give them the tools to resolve it. However, just because you don’t step in doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be close by.

Things can take a drastic turn at a moment’s notice, and you may need to get that whistle out and put on your referee cap. When parents teach appropriate conflict resolution, then children learn to have respect for one another.

6. Teach Teamwork in Daily Life

One of the best ways to combat sibling rivalry is to teach teamwork in daily life. Rather than making activities about competition, why not teach them to work together? A team is always stronger than one individual. One of the best exercises to teach teambuilding is relay races.

Make the game where the children are against the adults, and you will teach them the importance of working together. You have many opportunities around your home to teach teamwork. Simple tasks such as mowing the grass, folding the laundry, or doing homework, are all examples of when it’s better to have more hands helping.

Final Thoughts: Sibling Rivalry is Normal

Raising children is not for the faint of heart. They can be very taxing and take you to the brink of emotional despair. However, while there are so many difficulties in this significant job, they are the best gift you could ever ask for in life.

Remember, you’re not the only parent struggling with the arguing and constant bickering. When you have both boys and girls in the home, it can be an all-out war zone. You must find useful tools to resolve their conflicts.

Another thing that you can do for your children is to make them feel special. It’s so hard to carve out time each day with all the items on your to-do list, but you should give each child 10-15 minutes of your undivided attention.

Let them talk to you about what’s bothering them and make them feel that their voice is heard. Make sure you put down the cell phone and turn off the television. Give your ear to them and allow them to vocalize their feelings.

As parents, it’s easy to think that your children don’t have issues. After all, they don’t have to go to work each day and provide for your household. However, you cannot diminish the problems in their little world.

An argument with a friend at school can be just as much of a catastrophic event in their world as you are being exhausted from working so many hours. If you want to tame sibling fights or arguments, then you must first listen to them. Lastly, you must set a good example for them to follow.

Many people believe narcissists aren’t born that way. Psychologists aren’t sure the exact cause but think children become this way due to their environment. We have a more in-depth look into what causes children to become narcissists.

What Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Let’s look at the clinical definition of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). This is a diagnosed mental health condition, not just a term to toss around lightly.

Mental health professionals look for signs like the following: arrogance, chronic attention-seeking, manipulation, entitlement, fascination for wealth and power, and hate for criticism.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is hard to diagnose in children or teenagers. At younger ages, humans are always growing and changing. The personality traits of a narcissist usually worsen with age.

So just because a person feels the need always to be right or is selfish, those actions do not mean that they have a mental illness, necessarily.

The Study Of Narcissism In Children

There was a study in Psychological and Cognitive Sciences done by the University of Amsterdam on narcissism in children. This study helped figure out the levels of children’s self-esteem due to parental involvement. The researchers concluded that narcissism was predicted more by parental overvaluation than by the lack of parental warmth.

Psychologists’ View of What Triggers Narcissism in Children

Psychologists do agree parental behavior is a contribution to developing a narcissistic child. This doesn’t mean all narcissists are created by their parents. We’ll also examine some people are just born with that personality. Some psychologists believe children are more likely to show these traits when parents throw praise on them. Others think they show these traits because they don’t shower them with love and affection. We’ll dive into both of these views.

1 – Need For Approval

There are a few things that can cause children to become narcissistic. It’s normal for children to want their parents’ approval and their attention. Sometimes when a child cannot get that attention because the family is very competitive and only values high achievement, the child gets left behind. Sometimes the child only feels loved when they win. If they don’t get recognition for second place, they feel like a disappointment.

If a child grows up in a narcissistic family, they only see these values. They set up a lifelong pattern of chasing happiness. Other times the child feels defeated as they’re told over and over again that they aren’t good enough. They decide to love themselves and make the world like them since their parents don’t show them enough love.

Sometimes they go as far as to do outlandish things because they crave attention. When they don’t get approval, they push the bar further and further until someone has to “see” them and approve them. It becomes a vicious cycle.

2 – Striving To Be Perfect

When children believe they are only loved and praised when they “win,” they start to feel insecure. They think they’re only valued when they are unique. The child begins to try to be “perfect” to be seen. They strive for perfection to prove they don’t have flaws. The parent continues to put them down when they don’t get all A’s or score goals in a game.

If the child isn’t good enough in their eyes, they are set in a hypothetical corner of the room. The problem with this is the child loses touch with themselves. They don’t even know who they are at the root. They spend their time trying to perfect every activity instead of concentrating on their development as a person. A child should be able to be imperfect at times.

They cannot always score the winning goal. If a parent doesn’t tell them it’s okay to miss a goal, they’ll feel defeated at all times.

3 – Parents Who Make Kids the Center Of The Universe

Many parents make their children the center of their universe. This doesn’t mean the child will suddenly become a narcissist. Toddlers go through a stage that many call “The Terrible Twos.” If a toddler is neglected through this stage, they sometimes leave the stage without completing it. This scenario may sound like a dream to a parent, but it’s a negative thing.

They will mature into adults with this same perception of the world. During this stage, they should realize there are other people in their world. They understand they need other people, but they want to be independent. This is just a normal stage. Young children need boundaries.

If they aren’t allowed to fail and know their limits, they grow up without any expectations. They learn these limits by throwing tantrums, screaming, manipulating, and making up emotions. If they don’t learn any of these things, they might become narcissists. They expect the world does revolve around them, and they should get what they want.

The scary part is that this toddler then becomes an adult having a tantrum. They think they deserve attention.

4 – Parents Heap on Too Much Praise

Many parents overly praise their children. It’s the world of participation trophies we live in. You can work with your child to ensure they don’t go down this path.

As a parent, you have to help them realize they are going to fail. It’s okay to fail. Teach them empathy and kindness to others. Show them with your actions. Set boundaries for them daily. There are a million different “rules” on parenting in the world. Some say you praise too much. Some say you don’t praise enough.

The most important thing is to work with your child, so they understand you love them, but you have to set boundaries for them as well.

5 – Parental Mirror Image

Many times narcissists as children learn from their parents. When the parents treat the child as if they are perfect, the child starts to believe it. Praise is lovely to a child, but praising their every move can be detrimental to their development. When the parent shows narcissistic tendencies, the child might start to act the same way.

They see the parent showing off, living like the rules don’t matter, and treating people with disrespect. Children often mirror what they see in their parents. They start to do these same things without realizing it.

6 – Nature Vs. Nurture

Some children are born with a tendency to fell less emotional empathy than others. By nature, they are simply not as empathetic as other people. They don’t feel much emotion. This doesn’t mean they are a narcissist. It just means they don’t have this emotion as much as others.

Nurture is a learned habit. If narcissists have a mental illness of this sort, they usually are taught relationships aren’t as meaningful. They see people as objects at times because it is learned. They were born with the ability to love, yet don’t feel it because they aren’t shown enough love. Note that this does not mean that every child who isn’t nurtured with love will become a narcissist.

Noticing Narcissistic Traits In Children

It’s important to watch out for ways the child shows narcissistic tendencies.

• When they start to act entitled, it’s time to step in and show them who’s boss.
• They also may become aggressive.
• When they don’t get their way, watch out. Many times the worst parts of a narcissist will show when they are threatened. Their ego is their protection.
• Once you push it, they sometimes crumble under stress.
• They do not like it when their self-esteem is damaged. W
• hen they feel failure, they often lash out.

The Tough Truth

It can be tough to see these traits in children. Narcissists don’t seem contrary to the exterior. They act how you think they should. A person might seem to have all of the right intentions but always has an angle.

They often deflect blame onto anyone around them. Furthermore, they charm you with their angelic actions, only to later show their true selves. Children and teenagers often show all sorts of these traits just because of their age. They might not have a mental health issue but are just everyday kids. It’s important to watch them closely over time to see if their personality changes in a positive way.

Help For A Narcissistic Child

The problem with narcissistic people is that there is no cure for their behavior. If it’s changed and worked within childhood, they can hopefully let the other positive parts of their personality shine. They have to want to change. Adults must work with children that have these tendencies to protect their future social relationships. Many claim it’s almost impossible for them to have intimate relationships because they see affection as a means to an end.

Final Thoughts on Why Children Grow Up to Become Narcissists

Overall, a narcissistic child can change if they get intervention at a young age. Changing an adult’s perspective is much harder. Children grow and learn by those that guide them through life. It’s great to praise their strange artwork, but only if you do it to an extent. There’s a balance between neglecting your children and overpraising them.

Narcissists create an unfavorable environment for anyone in their path. Therefore, it’s essential to work with children to ensure their future is positive and healthy.