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10 Ways to Express Yourself When Your Partner Refuses to Hear You

10 Ways to Express Yourself When Your Partner Refuses to

Nothing feels more frustrating than when you try to express yourself, and the other person doesn’t seem to hear you. During arguments in relationships, things can get misconstrued in the heat of the moment, which leads to hurt feelings. However, if you can learn to manage your emotions during disagreements, your bond will become stronger.

One study on relationships over 14 years found that couples who argued often had the least likelihood of getting separated. The study followed 79 couples across the Midwest and discovered that the strongest couples resolved arguments quickly. So, just because you argue sometimes doesn’t mean you have a bad relationship. When you have a partner, you’ll inevitably have disagreements, but how you resolve them matters most.

Here are ten ways to express yourself if your partner doesn’t hear you:

If you feel like your partner doesn’t hear you during arguments, the following tips can help you express yourself better.

1  – Make sure you understand your emotions first.

If you don’t know how you feel, communicating your needs to your partner won’t come easily. To feel heard in a relationship, you have to get completely honest and open with your significant other. This honesty requires you to dig deep and understand where the emotions are coming from and why you feel unsatisfied with a certain aspect of your relationship.

Remember that your partner can’t help you if you don’t make your feelings and needs explicitly known. Also, take time to explain how you feel clearly without blaming or name-calling. The key to resolving arguments lies in how you choose to respond to your partner. If you lash out or talk over them, of course, they won’t want to listen to you. Calmly explaining your emotions and directly asking for what you need helps resolve problems effectively.

2 – Actively listen to them.

If you want your partner to listen during arguments, you have to give them that same respect. Also, make sure you truly listen instead of just waiting for your turn to make your point. It will help you express yourself more if you can make your partner feel comfortable doing the same. Relationships rely on active listening from both partners to survive. Studies have shown that active listening promotes healthier relationships.

Active listening involves the following:

  • Putting your phone away and giving your total attention to your partner
  • Maintaining eye contact the whole time
  • Restating what they’ve said to make sure you understand
  • Asking for clarification about certain points if you need it
  • Having empathy and trying to understand wholly where your partner is coming from
  • Staying in the present moment and not just waiting for your turn to talk

3 – Avoid anger.

Stay away from anger at all costs if you want to express yourself to your partner. Anger only breeds more chaos and dysfunction in communication with someone because they will automatically get defensive. No one likes getting yelled at, especially after a hard day at work or school. Be mindful of how they feel and choose to treat them with loving kindness even in disagreement.

You can still get your point through without having to resort to emotionally charged language and explosive arguments. If you have trouble with this, take a few minutes to collect your thoughts and come back to the discussion when you have cooled down. Studies show that yelling triggers the fight-or-flight response, causing us to become more reactive because we feel threatened. Therefore, a calm and soothing tone of voice produces the opposite effect – your partner will feel more open and willing to listen to you.

4 – Don’t accuse your partner of anything.

Accusing someone of something always puts them in defensive mode. Instead, choose to focus on how their actions made you feel and express yourself in terms of emotions. They will respond much better if they don’t feel attacked or pressured by accusations, and the talk will be more productive. Put it this way – how would you feel if your partner started listing off all the things you’re doing wrong?

You probably wouldn’t take to it very well. So, please give them the same respect and watch the words you use with them. Instead of saying “You did ______ and I’m tired of it,” try saying “You hurt my feelings when you did ____, even if you didn’t mean to.” The second phrase sounds much friendlier and open-minded, in our opinion.

5 – Stay humble.

If you want to express yourself in a relationship, remember humility, above all else. Coming at your partner or friend with hurtful words will only make them put up walls, and your message will get distorted. They will take in what you have to say if you show vulnerability and compassion for their feelings.

To put this into practice, try to think about how you may have contributed to any issues. Even if you don’t want to admit it, it usually takes two people to have relationship problems. Talking about how you can improve your behavior will make your partner more willing to discuss their shortcomings. If you can tackle issues as a team and talk to each other respectfully, any arguments will dissipate.

6 – Restructure the narrative.

Maybe you’ve been reading the whole situation the wrong way. Perhaps they haven’t wronged you. You just perceived the issue incorrectly due to your own emotions. Relationships can get tricky since they involve matters of the heart, and frequently, even our partner can misunderstand us.

Let’s say your spouse doesn’t pay you as much attention lately, and you’ve been feeling neglected. Your mind automatically goes to the worst-case scenario, like they are having an affair or have lost interest in you. Then, you lash out at them or allow resentment to build up based on your interpretation of the situation. However, you may not have considered other possible reasons for their lack of interest:

  • extra work at the office
  • stress about bills/life/other important people in their life
  • dealing with the kids (if you have them)
  • they need some time to themselves
  • any other reason besides the worst-case scenario

7 – Discuss things in their language.

Do they speak in a more emotional or logical way? Either way, try to talk things out in a way that they can understand, but that still conveys your message. If you lean more toward the emotional side and they are logical, they will appreciate directness. However, if the opposite is true, you’ll want to show more sensitivity and compassion. Learn your partner’s methods of communication so that when you express yourself, the message doesn’t get lost in translation.

8 – Write them a letter.

This idea may sound silly, but sometimes our words just come out better on paper. You can always talk it out with them afterward, but writing it down first can help, especially in new relationships.  Plus, writing things out can help you make sense of your thoughts and sort through them better. When you talk about them, you’ll have had time to reflect on how you feel and convey it to your partner easier.

9 – Consider talking to a therapist.

If you have tried everything with your partner and still don’t seem to hear you, consider going to couple’s therapy. A therapist can help you to break down any barriers in your communication and connect better as a couple. If your partner hesitates about going, make sure you let them voice their concerns first. Remind them that it can benefit both of you and make you stronger as a couple.

A couple’s therapist seeks to help people improve their relationships by recognizing and resolving all types of conflict. Many couples don’t know how to communicate with one another, so if you don’t feel heard, this might be an option for you.

10 – Remain positive.

Your partner will likely respond to negativity in the same way, so try your best to remain positive when you express yourself. Even if you’ve been hurt, try to frame your thoughts in a way that isn’t accusatory. For example, you could say, “I know you’ve been busy lately, but I miss having dinner together on weeknights.” In this way, you haven’t accused him/her of neglecting you, which would likely prompt a defensive response.

Final thoughts on how to express yourself when your partner refuses to hear you

When you have arguments with your partner, you want to express yourself to resolve the issues at hand. However, sometimes miscommunication causes your partner not to hear you, which only ends in frustration and heartache. If you want to get your own message across clearer, try to avoid talking when you feel angry. Also, please keep an open mind and let them speak their side of the story.

If you don’t feel heard in a relationship, consider that your partner may not either. If you can both work together to make one another’s needs known, you will have a happy, long-lasting relationship.


10 Ways to Express Your Style in a Uniform

10 Ways to Express Your Style in a Uniform

10 Ways to Express Your Style in a Uniform

If you’re one of the 1-in-5 workers who wear a uniform to work on a regular basis, you may sometimes feel like you can’t be you when you’re at work. While many jobs require a uniform to help identify workers in a crowd or keep your own clothes clean, you can still express your style.

Some workers wear uniforms to protect them from harm, like workers wearing neon and reflective vests. Other workers, like postal carriers, wear uniforms so that people know how to identify someone who otherwise might look like an intruder.

The variety of jobs that require uniforms are all fulfilled by unique people with individual personalities. Because you’re one of these people, you should follow one of these 10 creative tips to express your style while you’re at work.

1. Flaunt Your Hairstyle

If you work at a restaurant or cafe, you may be required to wear a hairnet or a head covering. If you’re at a retail job, you can probably do lots of different things with your hair that still fit within company policies.

As long as you always look clean and well groomed, your employer will be lenient with how you do your hair. Check out online tutorials or style magazines if you’re looking for new ideas.

Before you try something really wild, ask your boss or coworkers what they think. With most cute cuts and subtle dyeing, you should be within the boundaries. Some workplaces require short or tied back hair for safety around machinery.

2. Check Your Neck

If you have to wear a suit or dress shirt to work, you can get a lot of style mileage out of ties. You can express your individuality or your hobbies through a cool tie or make your outfit pop with a great bowtie.

Scarves are also great ways to express yourself. There are so many patterns to choose from that you could express something different every day of the week.

If you wear a lanyard at work, check out what’s available at Lanyards USA for ideas on how you can spruce yours up.

3. Flash Your Wrist

Depending on the kind of work you do, you could express a lot with a great watch or bracelets.

Of course, if you work in food service or get your hands dirty on a regular basis, you might not want to wear something expensive. But wrist wear is probably the most subtle way to express who you are.

If you’re into social activism or awareness around a particular issue, you can wear one of those rubber bracelets to let people know who you support.

4. Desk Decor

While not something that you wear, the things on your desk can be great for expressing your style. If you’re a big sci-fi fan, you can put decorate your desk with a few action figures or a cool mug to hold pens.

Think about clever and colorful things that will inspire you during those slower moments at work. You’ll also earn some compliments and make new friends from someone who says “Hey, I didn’t know you loved that great dog movie? I do too!”

5. Socks Say a Lot

Whether you’re at an office or a restaurant, you probably won’t have any limitations to the kinds of socks you can wear. Express yourself in the same way you would with a tie.

Try something striped, colorful, Argyle, or fun. If you’re an animal lover, you can likely find something with your favorite animals on it. Every cool movie and TV show has some kind of corresponding socks with characters on them.

Try out something fun and you’ll see compliments start piling up at your desk.

6. Earrings and Necklaces

If you love to wear earrings and necklaces, you’ll find they’re a great way to express who you are. During the holidays, you can wear something fun and festive. If you want to be bold, hoops or bright gems and say a lot.

Statement necklaces are becoming one of the most common ways to express style against a monochrome top. If you’re dressed in all black, an angular, geometric necklace will say a lot about who you are.

7. Stockings and Shoes

Great stockings can boost a simple skirt and top in a big way. Subtle patterns or polka dots will make heads turn and get people telling you what cool style you have. Combined with some colorful flats, you’ll be letting people know you’re fashionable and professional.

While there are probably limitations to the kinds of shoes you can wear, combining cool boots, flashy sneakers or heels can take your uniform to the next level.

8. Patterned Scrubs

If you’re in the health and wellness industry, there are certain uniform standards for health and safety. You need things that are durable and washable while also cut to the expectations of your supervisors.

Within those limitations, there are lots of possible prints and patterns. Look for specialty companies that offer cool scrub tops. It can be reassuring for patients to work with a medical professional who has an approachable style.

9. Backpacks and Bags

If you’re dealing with the limitations of an academic uniform, your backpack or bag is where you can be who you are. Look for cool patterns, interesting materials, and clever designs.

Add buttons and pins to your bag to customize it. One or two great little pins can make a solid colored bag look cool and modern.

10. Notebooks and Pens

If you can’t seem to find a way to express yourself within the limits of your dress code, you can always express yourself through your notetaking materials. There are so many cool notebooks and pens.

Get something colorful and wild if you want to express something fun. If you are looking for something more professional, a great refillable pen and leather bound notebook can express your style in a cool and subtle way.

Express Your Style Your Own Way

If this is your first time dealing with a uniform, it can feel restricting at first. You’ll want to be able to be yourself while not causing any problems with your new work or school environment. Ask around and you’ll get an idea of what the parameters are and ease into anything new.

You might be surprised what you can pull off.

If you’re ready to find an exciting way to express your style, check out our article on vintage watches for a cool classic addition to your uniform.