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Lifestyle

15 Misconceptions About Extroverts Never to Ignore

15 Misconceptions About Extroverts Never to Ignore


Are you an introvert or an extrovert? These two personality types are often used to describe people from all walks of life. Sadly, there are many misconceptions among these personalities as people like to classify an individual as one or the other.

Did you know that you can be a combination of both personality types? Extroverts are known for being cheerful, socially generous, and frank with their conversations. While the introvert is often quiet, reserved, and would prefer a quiet evening at home rather than spending it out on the town.

Carrying a conversation with an extrovert comes easy as you don’t have to worry about awkward silence as they can talk to anyone about anything. Some think these folks are loud, insensitive, and often are attention-seeking folks. However, are these stereotypes true?

Fifteen Misconceptions About Extroverts That Are Not True

There’s always more than what meets the eye, and the same rings true for the extrovert. Here are 15 common misconceptions about extroverted people that you should know.

1. Extroverts Must Be the Center of Attention

Many people get lots of attention, but this club is not for extroverts only. Being outspoken and having the ability to voice your opinion means you have a strong personality, and introverts can have strong opinions.

2. They Enjoy Public Speaking

Is there anyone that enjoys speaking to a crowd? Even the most seasoned people still get butterflies and sweat a little bit when giving a presentation. Both the introvert and the extrovert may experience nervous issues when engaging in public speaking, or they may be excellent with it.

However, it’s not fair to lump everyone into a category because people are still individuals with unique characteristics outside of their typical personality type. Remember, these are individuals with their thoughts and feelings, and they don’t have to fit nice and neatly into a mold.

3. Jabber Incessantly

Some people love to talk, and others have little to say. Do you have a friend that likes to chatter always? It doesn’t mean that they have extroverted ways; it could be caused by nervous conditions like anxiety, ADHD, or bipolar disorder.

People assume that those who are extroverted love to jabber, but not everyone fits into these patterns. Some extroverts have strong opinions, but some don’t like to share their thoughts with just anyone.

4. They’re Superficial

It’s commonly believed that these people love to keep things on a superficial level. While they may be outgoing, they don’t want the topics of conversation to get too deep. The extrovert is usually a good listener because they ingest the information they learn and love to share it with the next person.

5. They’re Not Good at Listening

Wrong! It’s already been proven that these people may like to keep things on a surface level about themselves, but they will be more than happy to talk about your deepest and most sacred secrets. Since they love to chatter, they want to learn everything they can from you to make their next conversation worthwhile.

Extroverted people are eager to learn, so listening is usually not a problem. Consequently, they may love to gossip too.

6. They Have Limitless Energy

You may picture these people as the Energizer Bunny that keeps going and going. However, they are human beings with the same feelings and emotions as you. They get tired, their energy becomes depleted, and they must recharge their batteries.

If you see an extrovert with abundant energy, then it can be caused by an underlying medical condition like ADHD. There’re no secret energy reserves as they can run out of steam just like the next person.

7. Extroverts Don’t Like to Be Alone

Indeed, some people don’t like to be alone, even for five minutes. Individuals who crave the security of those around them can be both introverted and extroverted. Everyone needs time to decompress, but these people can do it with or without you.

When someone doesn’t like to be alone, there are almost always some issues of childhood neglect or other psychological problems that come into play.

8. They Don’t Need to Recharge

Each person has a limit of energy they can use for the day. When this energy level depletes, it’s time to decompress and recharge.

It has nothing to do with having an outgoing personality, but it has more to do with your body makeup and overall health. It’s another misconception that an extrovert has limitless energy.

9. They’re Self-Absorbed

Sure, some people are self-absorbed, but an extrovert loves to engage with people in social settings. They want to hear about your day, your life, and what’s happening around you. Don’t believe that they only care about their life because that’s not true.

10. They Tend to Be Happier People

Having an optimistic outlook in life tends to allow them to fare better in the face of controversy, but their personality also comes into play. Happiness isn’t always manifested the same in everyone, so don’t be so quick to judge that someone is happy just because they are loud and extroverted.

11. Extroverts Love Meeting New People and Don’t Get Nervous

Another common misconception about this personality is that they don’t get nervous when engaging with new folks. The thing is they may be better at hiding their nerves than the introvert.

They may talk more, talk louder, and be the first to jump in line to meet someone new, but that doesn’t mean that their nerves are not playing tricks. It just means they use different coping skills to deal with the situation.

12. They’re Not Shy

Their cheerful character and friendly personality may make you think that extroverts don’t have sensitivity. Nonetheless, they have periods of life when they are up and periods when they’re down. Just like anyone else, extroverts are sensitive to the feelings of others as well as being attentive to their struggles.

Everyone has moments in life that may cause them to feel shy. In the right situation, even the extrovert can have moments when their face turns red with embarrassment. Think of the last time you chased your office crush. The gift of gab doesn’t come so accessible to anyone during something like that.

13. They Don’t Care What You Think

Extroverts may put up a strong front that your opinion doesn’t matter, but deep down inside where it counts, what you say does affect them. The outgoing person draws their strength from those around them, and they’re happiest when they’re listening to other folks’ opinions and ideas.

Shockingly, they will be the last people you should suspect that don’t care about what you have to say or what you’re thinking.

14. They Don’t Have Close Friends

Their love of mingling and intermingling with folks doesn’t impinge on their capability of sustaining healthy relationships and closeness. Extroverts tend to keep a vast circle of acquaintances, but they also have close friends that they keep in proximity.

15. They’re Fake

Many people believe that someone who has an extrovert personality is often fake. Shockingly, their character is only one part of the puzzle that makes up the person. This individual can be fake, but it’s unfair to categorize them.

A study in 2011 found that an extroverted person’s brain is different from that of an introvert. Their need to have stimulation continually has to do with the way they process dopamine. They seek pleasure from others and continuously need to be stimulated.

Did you know that extroverted people have a higher risk of developing a chemical dependency? It has to do with the way their brains are wired and how they crave stimulation. To be successful in work and life, this person must learn how to maximize their strengths.

Final Thoughts on Understanding the Misconceptions About Extroverts

Do you fit more into the introverted category, or are you more extroverted? Perhaps you are a combination of the two personality types. Did you see some things on the list that surprise you?

It’s easy to form opinions based on the experience and views of a few people. Thankfully, each person is unique, and as an individual, some characteristics are solely theirs. Do you know any famous people that fit into the extroverted category type?

Did you know that there are more extroverted people in this world than introverted ones? Some famous individuals with an extrovert personality type include Oprah, Robin Williams, Tom Hanks, Jim Carrey, Johnny Depp, Madonna, Jerry Seinfeld, and Matthew Perry.

When it comes to the introverts, you can group people like Tom Cruise, Marilyn Monroe, Julia Roberts, Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, Brooke Shields, and Arnold Schwarzenegger into this category.

Do you see any of your personality in any of these actors? It’s possible you are a combination, and it’s okay to break the mold. Extroverts are often misunderstood, but many misconceptions can be quickly cleared with a little education about personalities.

Lifestyle

12 Symptoms of a Hormonal Imbalance Women Should Never Ignore

12 Symptoms of a Hormonal Imbalance Women Should Never Ignore


Are you suffering from a hormonal imbalance? When you mention hormones, people automatically think of a teenager with acne that they can’t control. Another thought that comes to mind is a pregnant lady with mood swings and cravings that drive her mad.

While those things are examples of hormonal problems, things take a dramatic shift during menopause that is not so kind. Dealing with zits and pregnancy problems can be severe, but nothing prepares a lady for the hormonal fluctuations that occur during menopause.

You might be tempted to take some hormonal replacement that can help you through this challenging time, but it’s not advisable as these are known to increase your chance of cancer.

These Twelve Symptoms Indicate a Potential Hormonal Imbalance in Women

How do you know if you’re having problems with your hormones, and is there a way to combat these issues naturally? Here are some signs that you’ve got a hormonal imbalance, and your body is reeling from the fluctuations.

1. Hot Flashes

Perhaps the hallmark of a hormonal imbalance is hot flashes. Do you feel like one minute you could stand on an iceberg and still be hot, and the next, you’re under a pile of covers? These are signs that your hormones are fluctuating.

When your estrogen level drops, it sends a signal to activate the brain’s region that controls temperature, which is the hypothalamus. Your body quickly tries to step in and accommodate for the loss of these vital hormones, but all it does is make you feel uncomfortable.

2. Unable to Focus

Science reveals how you can have laser-sharp focus again.

You have several neurotransmitters in your brain that help you with regulating your body. Estrogen is one of the hormones that allow you to control your serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine. When your estrogen is low, your hormonal imbalance is more noticeable as your neurotransmitters’ supply is depleted.

3. Skin Pigment Issues

No one wants to deal with pigment issues, which are also called liver spots. Yet, these unsightly issues seem to pop up in the 40s and 50s.

Hyperpigmentation is caused by the body not repairing damage from the sun and other factors as quickly as it did in the past. It’s best to wear a high strength sunscreen to prevent any of these spots from forming.

4. Weight Gain

When your hormones are out of whack, your weight can fluctuate. Most women notice they get what is known as “middle-age spread” as the weight gain takes hold. Your hormones control your metabolism, so an imbalance can cause it to be sluggish.

Your metabolism naturally slows as you age, so you must be careful about binging a box of cookies as your body can’t get rid of those calories as quickly as it did before.

5. Excessive Sweating

It seems like a woman’s body is like a pop song, “You’re hot, then you’re cold.” It’s because your internal thermostat is on the fritz. Not only will you experience hot bursts, but you will also wake up in a puddle of sweat.

Keeping a fan on you during the night can help to combat the excessive heat your body is trying to rid. Don’t get too frustrated with yourself; as soon as you dress to accommodate your sweat, you will be freezing and need a blanket.

6. Facial Hair

As if life isn’t cruel enough during menopause, you now have hairs popping up in places where they don’t belong. Hirsutism is male-like hair growth that appears on a woman’s body, and it’s a pain. You may notice you can grow a beard or mustache just like your husband.

Don’t panic when you see these extra hairs, and don’t shave them off either. Shaving only makes them coarser and blunter, which feels awful to the touch. There are many methods to remove these hairs permanently and without using a razor.

Do you want to walk around with a five o’clock shadow? This is one time when you need lasers to remove these hairs to live your life without embarrassment.

7. Moodiness

Do you ever get so cranky that you can’t even stand being around yourself? It happens to all women as they go through “The Change.” You feel like your body is giving out on you, and it’s doing things that you never thought possible.

The hormonal imbalances can get the best of you, and it will display in your mood. Try to go easy on your family as they need you. If you notice that your attitude is off and you feel like you could snap at someone who even looks at you, then consider herbal treatments for mood stabilization.

When your hormones are shifting, and all over the place, you don’t want to take it out on your family. Many natural remedies can help you with this issue, such as St. John’s Wart.

8. Menstrual Cycles are Erratic

Not only are you unable to focus, moody, and having hot flashes, but you will also notice that your periods are erratic. You might even feel you’re pregnant when you start missing your periods.

Never rule out pregnancy in the late 40s and even into the early 50s because the change of life babies will pop up. If you’ve always been regular, you may find it hard to track your cycle when it never comes when it should, is heavier or lighter than usual, and seems to have a mind of its own. Many women have a procedure called an ablation that burns away the uterus’ lining when their periods become too heavy to manage.

It’s the luck of the draw as to what your cycle will do. It may just go away peacefully, and you will never have to deal with it again, or it may go out with a vengeance. Just don’t make any plans to set your calendar by each month due to all the hormonal imbalances in your body.

9. Hair is Falling Out

The one thing you thought you could always count on is your gorgeous locks, and now you see a pile of hair in the shower drain after you bathe. It’s terrifying to see your hair get thinner as it falls out. It’s yet another problem caused by your hormones.

You should know that many things can change your hair, including your thyroid. So, if you see bald patches and thinning, it might not be because of menopause entirely. Alopecia areata is a common problem that affects both men and women.

Though you may find it embarrassing, most stylists know precisely how to cut your hair to hide the thinning or bald spots. A new hairdo may be just what you need. When the areas become too large or the thinning too great, you can try hairpieces or wigs to help cover them.

There are treatment options available that treat the scalp directly, but most find that as soon as they stop using them, the hair they gained quickly falls out.

10. Pimples and Skin Blemishes

You thought you were done with pimples and facial blemishes, but here you are going through menopause and dealing with adult acne. You must make sure you don’t have a condition called rosacea, as it is a form of blemishes that can look like regular acne.

If it’s not rosacea, then you see an outward manifestation of an inner hormonal imbalance. There are many things that you can do to combat this problem. If you want an all-natural treatment, tea tree oil is among the best. Mix a few drops of this essential oil into a mask and apply it to your face.

Tea tree oil is known for its antibacterial and antifungal properties, which is the foundation of a blemish. It’s by far the most used natural remedy because it works. There’s no use in wasting money on over-the-counter creams that do take care of the blemishes but also dry the skin out horribly.

11. Headaches

All these changes in your body can cause headaches. There are many different types of head pains, and various things cause them. You may experience stress and tension from muscle aches and discomforts, causing the neck and back to ache.

When your neck is out of place, then it can cause severe headaches. Just note that these are common occurrences that will probably stick around during these times of fluctuation.

12. Digestive Issues

Another problem you might notice is digestive issues. You may experience gas, bloating, and other problems like diarrhea or constipation. So you must monitor the foods you eat to combat the problems you’re having. Additionally, you may need to boost your fiber intake and decrease the carbohydrate and fat intake. This adjustment might take a touch of trial and error, but it will offer you tremendous relief.

Final Thoughts on Identifying a Hormonal Imbalance

Menopause can be an exceedingly difficult time in a woman’s life, but it’s nothing that you can’t overcome. Before going to your doctor to get estrogen replacements, try something natural to calm your hormones. There are many foods and spices high in estrogen that can help with the fluctuations.

Try adding eggs, chives, baker’s yeast, garlic, and dairy products to your diet. There are many ways to combat this difficult time in life, and your body will soon level out, and you will experience a new normal.

Lifestyle

10 Menopause Self Care Tips Never to Ignore

10 Menopause Self Care Tips Never to Ignore


Going through menopause can be an incredibly difficult challenge, so it’s essential to observe some menopause self care tips. From the hot flashes to the loss of skin elasticity, and even the anxiety that comes along with everything, it can feel like your whole life is changing involuntarily. It may leave you wondering what your body will be like when it’s over.

The good news is that it’s manageable. Women everywhere have dealt with menopause and continued having an active and productive life despite the symptoms. You can be one of those women!

With a little effort and a lot of self-love, you’ll get through menopause like a pro if you take care of yourself. Here are ten menopause self care tips you should never ignore.

1. Be prepared for hot flashes.

A hot flash is the most recognized symptom of menopause. They can be brutal. The constant sweating, overheating, and pink/reddish skin can be embarrassing and can send your anxiety through the roof.

According to Harvard Health, about 75 percent of women in menopause experience hot flashes. If you’re lucky, you’ll be in the remaining 25 percent. However, if you’re in the majority, the good news is that there are some things you can do to minimize the effects of the flashes.

The first thing you can do is learn what triggers them. Common triggers include hot drinks, warm outdoor temperatures, medications, and stress. Once you identify your triggers (they aren’t the same for everyone), you can try to avoid them. At the very least, you’ll know the hot flash is coming.

You can attempt to keep your environment cool. Examples are lowering the temperature on your AC, putting cool sheets on your bed, and wearing thin, breathable layers of clothing. Finally, if you do have a hot flash, don’t panic.

2. Get regular checkups.

Performing menopause self care tips doesn’t mean to do everything yourself. Regular checkups with your doctor can ensure that your body is functioning correctly. After all, your body is going through a lot of changes during menopause.

The changes that happen in your body, particularly a lowered level of estrogen, can put you at risk for specific medical conditions. These can include stroke, heart disease, and osteoporosis. Getting regular checkups will allow your doctor to identify these conditions early if they happen so that you can fix them.

Even after menopause, you should continue to get regular checkups. You’ll find that your medical needs are different during this stage of your life. Your health is more important than ever at that point, so don’t leave anything to chance.

3. Take care of your mental health.

Menopause is stressful. The constant changes in your mood, temperature, weight, and other bodily functions can drive your anxiety through the roof. On top of that, you may be dealing with embarrassment from the flashes.

You are not alone in your feelings. It’s important to remember that what’s happening to you is regular and that you can talk to someone about it. You may not need a professional counselor but confide in a loved one or a close friend.

You should also do things that help to reduce your stress level. Yoga is an excellent activity for reducing stress. Meditation is another one. Whatever relieves stress for you, make that a regular part of your life.

4. Don’t be embarrassed to admit when you’re not feeling your best.

Women are tough, resilient humans. It’s not uncommon to find “superwomen” all over the place. Many women pride themselves on being able to juggle everything that life throws at them.

Because of this, it can be difficult for a woman to admit when she isn’t feeling her best. During menopause, this can happen often. You simply may not be feeling as energized or motivated, and accepting this might be hard for you.

However, one of the biggest menopause self care tips you can follow is to listen to your body. If you’re not feeling up to tackling all the tasks of the day, give yourself a break. It doesn’t make you any less of a person or any less of a woman.

Women can be incredibly hard on themselves when they aren’t feeling like being intimate with their partner. However, you must talk with your partner about these feelings. Otherwise, they won’t know (unless they are a woman who is also going through menopause). Don’t be afraid to admit when you need a “me day.”

5. Take care of your sexual health/sex life.

Vaginal health can take a big hit during menopause. The vagina gets drier than usual, and the vaginal walls get thinner. There may even be a loss of skin elasticity in the vagina. This can result in painful sex plus vaginal health problems.

For a lot of women, the stress of having an ill-functioning vagina makes them feel like their sex life is on the line. However, that’s not what you should be focusing on. If your partner loves you, they will understand that you may have to put a hold on sex and intimacy until you get your vaginal health under control.

This doesn’t mean that your sex life has to take a back seat. There are lubricants and medicines that can help. You need to visit your gynecologist (#2, regular checkups!) and discuss the problems you’re having.

6. Get enough sleep.

Insomnia is a common problem for women during perimenopause and can continue all the way through menopause. While the exact cause for insomnia issues is unknown, medical experts speculate that a hot flash can interrupt deep sleep cycles. Even if you sleep through the hot flash, the quality of your sleep is being affected.

This can mean that you find yourself being more tired throughout the day. It could also lead to irritability and health problems. Get more sleep is a simple menopause self care tip, but not always an easy tip without some help. You may need to see your doctor if you can’t figure out how to sleep on your own.

7. Be aware of your mood changes.

Unfortunately, your menopause symptoms don’t only affect you. Since menopause affects your hormones, it also affects your emotions. This can manifest in the form of bizarre mood changes, which means that everyone around you must deal with it too.

Managing your mood changes is one menopause self care tip that can help everyone in your household. While you probably can’t stop the mood changes, you can at least be aware of them. Being mindful, along with a lot of understanding from your loved ones, will help you get through it in one piece.

8. Take care of your skin.

Menopause can wreak havoc on your skin. If you’ve never had a solid skincare regimen, now is the time to get one. If you don’t, you might become unrecognizable.

Menopause can cause your skin to get dry and thin. You can develop age spots and larger patches of dark skin. You may begin growing facial hair while the hair on your head thins out. There is even a possibility of skin growths and skin cancer.

This all sounds extreme, but you can significantly reduce skin problems by implementing a great skincare regimen. Don’t take this menopause self care tip with a grain of salt. Start taking care of your skin as early as possible.

9. Eat healthily and exercise.

Weight gain is another side effect of menopause. Even if you’ve always been at a healthy weight all your life, you can expect to put on a few pounds during menopause. Many women gain extra weight around their midsection.

There are several factors that cause weight gain. Genetics, lack of sleep, and hormonal changes can all play a role. However, eating right and exercising is a way to combat this. Living a healthy lifestyle can help you fight those extra calories and, in the process, combat many weight-related diseases that you can get as you get older.

10. Exercise your brain.

Unfortunately, the efficiency of your brain can take a hit during menopause. Many women suffer from memory problems and concentration issues. You could even go as far as calling these problems brain fog.

Some of this brain fog is due to other problems you may be having from menopause. Sleep problems, mental health problems, and even frequent mood changes can all play a part. If you manage these, you can reduce or even prevent brain fog.

The best thing you can do is to incorporate brain-stimulating activities in your life. Challenge yourself and do things that make you use your mind. Anything that makes you think and remember things is welcomed.

Final Thoughts on Menopause Self Care Tips

Menopause is a challenging time for any woman, and taking care of yourself during this time is essential. As your body goes through these inevitable changes, comfort becomes your primary concern. Don’t be afraid to be a little selfish as you deal with the effects of menopause.

The good news is that the phase won’t last forever. Eventually, your body will become your friend again, and you can get back to a healthy, everyday life. How healthy it is will depend on how good you are a menopause self care, so make sure you put yourself first and take care of all those menopause needs.

Lifestyle

10 Relationship Killers No Couple Should Ignore

10 Relationship Killers No Couple Should Ignore


Relationships are hard work. It seems there are more reasons that a relationship will fail than succeed. However, there are plenty of successful relationships, so it’s not impossible to make it work. No one is perfect, so that no relationship will be perfect. One of the critical things to do in a relationship is to recognize relationship killers and fix them before they get out of control. When both people in the relationship are willing to do their part, success is inevitable.

Here are ten relationship killers that couples should never ignore.

1. Poor Communication

Bad communication is one of the top reasons that relationships fail. It doesn’t matter if it’s one person or both people that are bad at communicating. Eventually, things will crumble.

Bad communication can come in several forms. It could be that one person isn’t letting the other person in on their feelings. It may be that body language says something different than what comes out of a person’s mouth. It could even be assuming that you know how your partner is feeling without actually talking to them about it.

It’s normal to have some communication issues. However, if you can recognize these issues and work on them, you can save the relationship. Don’t ignore them because they’ll only get worse if you do.

2. Unwillingness to Cooperate or Compromise

A relationship is a partnership. It takes two to tango, and the dance isn’t going to go well if you don’t work together. Both people must be willing to give as much as they take.

While your relationship may seem like a match made in heaven, you must remember that you’re two different people. You’re not going to do everything precisely alike, so you need to be willing to compromise. There can be no cooperation without a bit of compromise.

If one or both people won’t compromise and cooperate to make the relationship go smoothly, this is a sign that the relationship is not going to work out in the long run. If you care about each other, you should try to identify the root cause of the lack of cooperation and fix it before it becomes a big problem.

3. Jealousy

Some people think jealousy means that your partner cares about them. After all, you can’t be jealous over something you don’t care about, right? Unfortunately, this is far from the truth.

Any good relationship should build from trust and respect. A jealous partner could be insecure and emotionally needy. The jealousy has absolutely nothing to do with whether they care about you or not. As the insecurity builds, so does the negativity. The relationship could turn verbally or physically abusive.

Jealousy is often a result of some underlying issues that the person has. If they genuinely want the relationship to work, they’ll get help in discovering and fixing those underlying issues. If they don’t get help, it’s going to be a relationship killer.

4. Lack of Intimacy

Sex isn’t an essential part of a relationship, but that doesn’t mean it’s not important. The desire to fulfill intimate needs is normal and natural. When your partner is not fulfilling this need, you’ll begin to feel like you’re missing something or worse, that you’re not what your partner wants.

Intimacy doesn’t only mean sex. It encompasses those private, meaningful moments that you share with your special someone. It’s what distinguishes a romantic relationship from a friendship.

If there is a lack of intimacy in your relationship, you need to find out why immediately. There are a plethora of reasons that this could be happening, and not all of them are as bad as you may think. However, the issue does need to be addressed before one or both partners lose interest in the relationship.

5. Unfaithfulness

If your partner is unfaithful, this is a clear, unmistakable sign that your relationship is headed down a dangerous path. Despite this being obvious, many people try to sweep it under the rug and pretend it didn’t happen. This never works.

Cheating changes a relationship. The trust is broken, confidence is shaken, and the love between the two of you is questioned. The person who was cheated on will be hurt deeply, and even if they pretend to be over it, they usually aren’t.

Cheating doesn’t have to be the end of a relationship, but it will take a lot of hard work to save it. The cheater must be willing to go to extraordinary lengths to prove that they won’t cheat again.

6. Codependency

Codependency during a relationship is when someone dedicates themselves to making their partner happy, and the partner enables this behavior. It’s more than being clingy or really in tune with their partner. One person finds no joy in life other than doing any and everything to please their partner while the other soaks it all up with no cares that their partner has no life. In other words, one person needs someone, and the other person needs to be required.

It may seem that if both partners are okay with this behavior, then it would work out. However, this isn’t the case because codependency is a mental health condition that usually stems from some past childhood trauma.

According to psychotherapist Linda Esposito, LCSW, codependency is created when someone had unreliable or unavailable parents when they were a child. The child grows up constantly suppressing their needs and desires and continues the behavior into adulthood.

It’s a behavior that can lead to an abusive relationship. It can become extremely dangerous because, over time, the partners’ mental state can become more and more unstable.

The bad thing about codependency is that it often takes someone outside of the relationship to recognize it. Once it has been pointed out, you and your partner will have to move mountains to fix this problem. You’ll likely need a lot of therapy.

7. Lack of Goals

If both partners have no goals, then maybe it won’t be a problem. They can both be happy settling for less, provided they can at least pay their rent and not be homeless. However, if one partner has goals that their pursuing, being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t have any plans isn’t going to work.

The reason for this is that a partner with no goals can become more of a burden as you rise and achieve success. They’ll be someone you’re towing along for the ride. They may even hinder your success.

Suddenly your relationship is not a partnership, and you may find that you don’t have much in common anymore. Your partner may begin to feel like they aren’t good enough for you, and you may start feeling that way also. The only way to fix this problem is for your partner to have their own set of goals their working towards. You don’t have to have the same goals, but they need to be at least similar for the relationship to work out.

8. Laziness

No one likes a lazy person. Lazy people hinder progress, don’t get things done, and cause more problems than they’re worth. They aren’t dependable, and they’re not any fun.

Lazy people may have problems at work. They won’t get raises or promotions. Indeed, they may have trouble keeping a job in the first place. This affects the finances of the relationship, and money is one of the significant relationship killers.

If your partner is lazy, you need to nip that in the bud immediately. You may be tolerating it now, but in the long run, it will ruin the relationship.

9. Holding Grudges

Everyone makes mistakes, but those mistakes shouldn’t be held against you forever. Perhaps you did something in the past to upset your partner. Your partner has probably concerned you also. However, at some point, you must let it go.

Holding grudges, especially if they’re minor, will only keep the drama going in the relationship. It kills trust, creates negativity, and causes passive-aggressive behavior. This negativity leads to a whole host of other problems.

Unfortunately, holding grudges is one of the typical relationship killers. If you or your partner are holding grudges against each other, talk it out and let it go. If you need to get professional help, do it to save your relationship.

10. Unrealistic Expectations

You can’t go into a relationship with your idea of a perfect relationship already preformed. You must let the relationship develop on its own, the way it’s going to develop. Psychologist Bernard Golden, Ph.D., says that clinging on to unrealistic expectations in a relationship can “foster an adversarial posture that undermines a greater commitment to the relationship.”

Unfortunately, a lot of people’s unrealistic expectations become fast relationship killers.

You can’t predict the personality of the person you’ll fall for any more than you can predict the lottery. Sure, you may know of some qualities you prefer, but people are much more complicated than a few superficial qualities.

This is an easy problem to fix. Simply open your mind up to the possibilities. The same goes for your partner. Stop “expecting” and experience instead.

Final Thoughts on Relationship Killers You Shouldn’t Ignore

There isn’t one perfect relationship in the world, but that doesn’t mean you should ignore major relationship killers. It’s okay to have standards and to stick by them. Without these standards, your relationship is headed nowhere fast.

If you recognize any relationship killers in your relationship, the first thing you need to do is have a serious conversation with your partner. You should both be willing to put in the effort to fix the problems. Successful relationships are hard work, but the happiness that comes from them is worth it.

Lifestyle

15 Relationship Deal Breakers Strong Women Will Never Ignore

15 Relationship Deal Breakers Strong Women Will Never Ignore


Relationships are hardn and women put up with a lot from men. Women, especially strong women, can be incredibly resilient people. However, there is only so much that a person can put up with. Here are 15 relationship deal breakers that strong women simply won’t ignore.

Here Are the 25 Deal Breakers Unacceptable to a Strong Woman

Many women will flee the scene if they observe these behaviors in their new man.

1. He lives with his parents.

If an adult male still lives with his parents, this is a big red flag that strong women won’t ignore. This doesn’t include guys who are taking care of their parents because one or both of them are sick or disabled. Those guys get a gold medal.

An adult male who still lives with his parents simply shows no ambition in life. He is lazy or scared to move out on his own, or both. Even worse, he might be a mama’s boy, and no woman likes those type of men. Either way, it’s one of the biggest deal breakers.

2. He doesn’t have a steady job.

No one likes dating an unemployed guy. It’s not that strong women are trying to be gold diggers, but let’s be honest here. An unemployed guy can’t take you out. In fact, they won’t be able to do much of anything.

Plus, the inability to hold a job is a sign of immaturity or the unwillingness to be responsible. This will only cause problems in the future.

3. He has no goals or aspirations.

A strong woman is motivated and determined. Being with a guy who has no goals in life will get old fast.

It’s hard to be with someone when you’re climbing the ladder, and they’re okay just being at the bottom. Eventually, you’ll have too much distance between you to have anything in common. Strong women know this, so they aren’t going to put up with a man who has no aspirations in life.

4. He is a bad father.

Most strong women probably have dreams of having a family in the future. If they’re dating a man who already has children, they’ll pay close attention to the type of father he is. If he isn’t taking care of his children now, he probably will be unkind to her children in the future.

Even if he does take care of his future children, it’s still a deal breaker because no real woman is going to watch him favor some of his children over the others.

5. He doesn’t treat women in his life with respect.

Strong women demand respect in their lives. A man might pretend to respect a woman at first but then change later in the relationship. She may notice that her man is disrespectful of her family or even disrespectful of his own family.

With a strong woman, he won’t get the chance to change because she’ll notice this behavior upfront by watching how he treats the women in his life. A man can’t hide his true nature at all times, so when the red flag shows up, a strong woman will quickly exit the relationship.

6. He’s always late to everything.

People are late every now and again. It happens. But when it’s a recurring theme, a strong woman won’t continue to put up with this. When a man is always late to everything, it shows that he doesn’t respect people’s time. A strong woman values her time, so she won’t deal with someone who doesn’t respect it.

7. His temper seems out of control.

An out of control temper is one of the biggest red flags you can have in a relationship. A lot of women put up with this type of abusive behavior, unfortunately. However, a strong woman will absolutely not deal with it. She values herself too much to remain in such an abusive situation, and she will quickly remove that man from her life, even if it must be by force.

It doesn’t matter if it’s physical abuse or if it’s more verbally abusive in nature. Either way, she’s gone.

8. He complains about everything.

No one likes a negative Nancy. In this case, it might be a negative Ned. A strong woman is likely motivated and has a positive attitude. The last thing she wants to do is spend time with someone who complains about everything.

A strong woman might give a man a chance to correct the behavior. She may try to talk it out with him and help him change his perspective. However, if he doesn’t, she’ll tire of the behavior, consider the behavior as one of the major deal breakers, and remove that man from her life.

9. He gives up on things easily.

A strong woman is attracted to a strong man. This means a man that will persevere even when the going gets tough. That’s how strong couples build a strong future together.

Strong women don’t have the capability of dealing with a weak man who gives up on everything. It’s simply not in their nature to be with someone like that. That is a relationship that is destined for failure, and strong women know this early in the relationship.

10. He constantly makes bad decisions.

Young guys may make bad decisions, just like young women. Everyone must learn. However, at some point, you’re supposed to grow up, mature, and make responsible decisions. A man who constantly makes bad decisions has not grown up yet.

A strong woman is not going to be with a man who constantly makes bad decisions. This means she will have to constantly fix situations, and that can inhibit growth. A strong woman won’t let anyone hinder her growth.

11. He is a flirt or cheater.

As mentioned in tip number five, a strong woman is going to demand respect. A man who is constantly flirting with other women or cheating is not respecting his woman. Some women will put up with this constant cycle – strong women will not.

Strong women know their worth, and they aren’t going to be with a man who doesn’t respect their value. They will cut that man off so quickly he won’t even have time to react. Plus, a man who is a flirt or cheater is usually always telling lies. And that’s one of the worst deal breakers of all.

12. He is involved in illegal activities.

For some women, the bad guy is extremely attractive. This is usually immature women who haven’t grown up yet. However, once a woman grows up and becomes a strong woman, she’ll cut the nonsense out of her life.

A strong woman isn’t going to allow anyone to be in her life that could bring her down. Therefore, if a man is involved in illegal activities, she will refuse to have a part in that. She will also refuse to be in a relationship with that man because she knows she could lose everything just by being associated with him.

13. He is childish/immature.

There is nothing wrong with being in touch with your inner child, but you must be able to be an adult when it counts. Some men never reach that point. They stay in their mother’s basements and play video games all day.

A strong woman is not going to date a guy like this. In fact, a strong woman probably won’t even give that type of guy a chance. It’s one of the major deal breakers.

14. He doesn’t treat his lady like a queen.

A strong woman thinks highly of herself. She works hard, and she likes the finer things in life. She treats herself like royalty, and she wants a man that treats her the way she treats herself.

If a man doesn’t believe in treating his woman like the queen that she is, the relationship is not going to work out. They have two different ways of thinking when it comes to how they treat each other, and a strong woman isn’t going to budge on being treated like her worth. A strong woman knows that a queen should be with a king.

15. He is wimpy.

Throughout history, men have always been portrayed as being strong, brave, knights in shining armor. That’s what women want, especially strong women. They desire men who can protect them and take care of them.

A strong woman refuses to settle for a man who is afraid of life. This doesn’t mean she wants a man who is going to fight all the time. It just means she wants a man who isn’t afraid to be a protector.

Final Thoughts on Deal Breakers for Strong Women

Don’t let this article make you think that strong women are inflexible and unyielding. They will give a man a chance to prove his worth. What they won’t do is put up with continuously weak and immature behavior.

A strong woman needs a strong man. There is no way to get around that. Anything less and the relationship becomes lopsided. A strong woman simply won’t tolerate a one-sided relationship.

If you are a strong woman, you already know that all the above tips are true. If you are a man looking to get into a relationship with a strong woman, make sure you can meet all these criteria, or else you’ll be wasting your time. A strong woman simply won’t ignore these deal breakers.

Lifestyle

15 Relationship Rules Never to Ignore

15 Relationship Rules Never to Ignore


Part of life’s joys is to create a lasting relationship that fulfills your heart and spirit. However, mutual relationship rules will provide the perimeters that will keep it healthy and happy. Here are fifteen relationship rules that you and your love might want to consider.

Never Ignore These Fifteen Relationship Rules

1. Be Genuine

In the beginning, the first thing that attracted you to one another was who you were. So, why would either of you want to be somebody else? For a relationship to thrive, you’ve got to be genuine and honest. Don’t try to put on airs or keep your feelings boxed away in your mind.

2. Listen to Each Other

One of the beautiful parts of being a couple is that you can share anything without fear of being judged or belittled. You may hear what your lover is saying, but are you truly listening? With all the commotion and stress of everyday life, it’s easy to get caught up in work, email, phone calls, and errands.

Make it a point to reconnect after school or work and listen to each other. Turn off the tv, cell phone, and other distractions and pay attention to your sweetheart. Follow the habits of good listeners, like maintaining a receptive posture, mirroring emotion, and restating what you’ve heard.

3. Cheaters Never Win

When you are in a committed relationship, you expect that two is company, and three is a crowd. Unless your relationship is casual and you’ve agreed that you can both see other people, cheating mustn’t be tolerated. It just leads to a life of jealousy, mistrust, and bitterness.

Be sure that you’re on the same page for your definition of cheating. There shouldn’t be any secret texting, phone calls, or meetings. Even if sex isn’t involved, sneaking around with the opposite sex is still cheating in your relationship rules.

4. Don’t Lose Your Individuality

A couple may be one in heart and spirit, but you remain individuals. Sometimes, you may feel like you’ve lost yourself in a relationship and need to focus on your own needs. Only when you can love yourself can you love your partner the way you should.

It’s okay to have your hobbies and interests or to enjoy some time in solitude. Respecting each other’s individuality gives you more to share and cultivates appreciation for the other’s talents and personality. Spend time with friends and family and allow yourself to grow mentally and spiritually.

5. Learn How Each Other Shows Affection

While genetics may have a minor role, you learned how to show affection by mirroring your parents and family. Some families use hugs, kisses, and are verbal about their love for one another. However, other families may be more stoic and usually show affection by doing kind things or giving gifts.

Do you know your partner’s love language? Usually, women are more in touch with their emotions and aren’t afraid to express their affection with words and a gentle touch. Society trains men from the cradle up to be more reserved with their feelings, so they often will demonstrate their affection through their actions.

Be intuitive with each other’s love language, and you should realize that you probably show affection differently. It’s not a character flaw, and it doesn’t demean the sense of love and devotion. If you want your guy to say “I love you” more often, just tell him what you want.

6. Be Allies

As lovers and partners for life, you must be each other’s best friend and ally. That doesn’t mean that you disregard your loving family and friends. It means that your person is at the top of your list, and you’ve got his back.

If you have friends and family who don’t approve of your relationship, it’s their problem. Gently but firmly let those naysayers know that if they can’t be supportive and civil, then you’ll part ways until they can. If you allow yourself to be on the wrong side, you’ll lose all trust and respect from your mate.

Be a cheerleader and encourage your sweetheart in his projects or dreams. Even if they don’t pan out, he will remember that you were beside him the whole way, and he’ll love you for it. Being an ally doesn’t mean you always agree, but it means that you are still supportive.

7. Appreciate Each Other

In a long-term relationship, it’s easy to get lost in routine and take each other for granted. One of the basic needs of humans is to be appreciated. Sometimes, sweet daily gestures may become routine, and you forget to thank each other for being thoughtful.

Make it part of your relationship rules to say how much you appreciate one another every day. Not just for loving gestures, but who you are as people. When you show gratitude and appreciation, your love can last.

8. Create New Routines and Traditions

Another wonderful benefit of being in a loving relationship is that you both script your book of love. Do you have cherished childhood memories of holidays and other family traditions? Share each other’s memories and see how they can be interwoven into your life as a couple.

Also, why not create some traditions and routines of your own? Whether it’s for holidays, special occasions, or even choosing a favorite restaurant, bring your personality to the table. They will make lasting memories that you’ll cherish for a lifetime.

9. Be Willing to Compromise

Since you and your person are still individuals, you won’t always agree on everything. If there’s never any difference of opinion or a bit of opposition, then one of you isn’t being genuine. The key to a thriving relationship is to know when to compromise.

First, choose your battles wisely. Don’t create a big fight because you want to go to the ocean for vacation, and she has her heart set on Las Vegas. For your relationship rules, both of you should be willing to give and take a little and come to an agreement.

10. Romance Without Finance isn’t Happening

No, money can’t buy love, but it sure makes life easier. If you’re in a committed relationship with shared finances, you’ve got to work together. Discuss your finances and agree on a budget that will pay the bills, provide savings, and have a little money for incidentals.

Perhaps one of the biggest relationship destroyers is financial problems. Just as you’re committed to each other, you must also be committed to keeping a budget that will sustain your livelihood. Be accountable to each other for spending and consider weekly discussions about the current state of your finances.

11. Be Patient

In our drive-through society, people want immediate results and satisfaction. True relationships aren’t instant and rarely come as ordered. It takes compassion and patience to learn each other’s habits and to work together to resolve conflicts.

Patience is an integral part of relationship rules. Be patient with him and be patient with yourself. Remember that good things come to those who wait.

12. Don’t Try to Change Each Other

A common mistake many people make in forming a relationship is the hope to change the other person. Yes, love and relationship do bring change and make you a better person. However, you must love each other for who you are, not who you think the other should be.

When you try to mold your personality into a cookie cutter of expectations, you’ll just create resentment and an unsettled atmosphere. This blunder can be traumatic if you stay with a toxic person with the idea that you will change things. Love each other without reservation or manipulation, but you should be strong enough to walk away from a toxic or abusive relationship.

13. Keep the Fire Burning

Does your relationship seem stale and boring? Like a flower garden, a relationship must be cultivated and carefully tended to for it to flourish. Be spontaneous and go on surprise dates or getaways. Bring your sweetheart a heartfelt gift or do something special just because you love him.

14. Don’t Hold Grudges

Somebody once remarked that nursing a grudge is akin to drinking poison thinking it will hurt another person. In your journey of love with your partner, there will be many offenses given and taken. Love means that not only can you apologize, but you can offer forgiveness and continue along your way.

Grudges are deadly toxins for any relationship, and nobody wins, especially not the grudge holder. Forgiving doesn’t negate or excuse the offense, but it frees your mind to cope and mend your relationship. Many couples say that part of their relationship rules is that they never go to bed angry at each other.

15. Keep Open Communication

Be your partner’s ear and shoulder for comfort. Agree from the start that no subject is too great or insignificant that you can’t discuss. To keep conflicts at bay, talk about your schedules and other commitments daily. Always be free to listen to what your person has to say and to voice your feelings to him or her, so there’s no confusion or misunderstandings.

Final Thoughts: Follow These Relationship Rules to Foster Long-term Romance and Respect

Lastly, infatuation is a feeling, but love is a choice, and it takes work. To keep your relationship strong in the long run, establish relationship rules together, and be sure to stick with them. Healthy boundaries equal a healthy relationship that will be meaningful for you both.

Lifestyle

Therapists Explain 11 Recurring Dreams Never to Ignore »

Therapists Explain 11 Recurring Dreams Never to Ignore »


What is your recurring dream trying to tell your subconscious?

Have you ever dreamed of breathlessly running down a long hallway, but you never found the door? Or, perhaps you are back in school and can’t find your classroom, and you have an overwhelming fear of being late. Psychology Today reports that 60 to 75% of adults have recurring dreams.

“A recurring dream probably merits close attention. Something wants you to pay attention.” Amy Hardie

What Messages Your Dreams Might Be Sending

Interpreting dreams has been an essential part of human history. Dream Moods explains that clay tablets depicting visions have been discovered, dating as far back as 4,000 B.C. In every phase of history, dreams contained vital information concerning the dreamers or the world around them.

Our modern psychologists believe that dreams may help people process daily experiences, particularly those that are threatening. NCBI published the results of a study on the effects of the subconscious on dreaming.

The study concluded that a person’s level of frustration or satisfaction influenced dreams and the emotional interpretation of those dreams. Those who experienced recurring dreams had more psychological defeat daily. They concluded that dreams might help people process feelings and daily experiences. The messages dreams are sending may be interpreted negatively or positively depending on a person’s state of mind.

Ten Messages Psychologists Tell You Never to Ignore

When specific dreams become more prevalent, it may be that your mind is pointing toward essential facts about your daily life. Your mind may be trying to solve a problem during sleep that you haven’t been able to resolve while you are awake.

Our dreams provide insight into our daily lives. Do not ignore these ten recurring dream themes.

1. Dreams about falling.

Psychologist Ian Wallace believes falling is a feeling of losing control over aspects of your life. You may be feeling like the responsibility is weighing heavily on you, and you have no escape. If you keep dreaming about falling, it may be time to destress.

2. Injuries, death, or losing teeth.

These themes may indicate a lack of self-esteem. Death can mean change is ahead, and you are leaving the past behind and moving forward to new things. Dream expert Patricia Garfield suggests teeth falling out may be linked to suppressed anger. When we grind our teeth or clench our jaw, this can cause us to lose teeth in a dream.

3. An embarrassing public performance or failing a test.

Many people dream bout failing an exam or embarrassing themselves in public. This type of dream indicates you are stressing out about something before you fall asleep. They man mean you can’t follow through with something meaningful. The bottom line is that you are most likely feeling anxious and worried during the day.

4. Wearing little or no clothing.

This dream is about feeling embarrassed or ashamed. Ian Wallace states that this theme may mean you are feeling vulnerable in a new relationship or at a new job. You may be fearful that people will learn about your weaknesses. If you dream about wearing pajamas to an important event, it may be a sign of insecurity about an upcoming event in your life.

5. Dreams about being chased.

Lauri Loewenberg, a dream expert, believes that recurring dreams about being chased are people’s way of trying to avoid conflict. What’s chasing you in real life may be debt, trying to work out a problem, or unfulfilled dreams that are chasing you because you haven’t worked toward achieving your goal.

6. Apocalyptic and natural disaster dreams.

If you suffer from these dreams, you are not alone. This imagery is a common theme and may mean you feel you have lost control over a personal problem. Perhaps you feel threatened about something in your life. These feelings can make you feel vulnerable when you are awake, so they should be addressed.

7. Crashing a car or technical difficulties.

Patricia Garfield explains that dreaming about your computer or phone breaking may mean you have a problem connecting emotionally to someone, or you may have relationship issues. You may be feeling unsupported in real life, and you may require some help working out your feelings.

8. Dreams about being pregnant.

Men and women can dream of being pregnant. David Bedrick, a dream psychologist, says that this may indicate that you are giving birth to new creations and ideas. If you are in the middle of an important project, and you have this dream, set goals, and work hard to bring your visions to reality.

9. Dreams about being late.

Michael Olsen, a dream expert, suggests that dreaming about being late may be an instant fear of missing out. If you are stressed out and feeling that you don’t have time for what’s essential in your life, this dream may be telling you it’s time to slow down. Set time out for the things and people in your life that you love.

10. Unfamiliar houses or rooms.

Psychotherapist, Eddie Traversa, tells us the rooms represented in our dreams represent internal conflict. These dreams may also represent internal changes. If you dream about a bathroom, you may need to declutter or clean up your emotions. Bedrooms can symbolize worries about romance.

11. Dreams About Your Partner Leaving You

Many people have experienced the scary dream about your partner leaving. Dreams are not usually literal but are a representation of thoughts and feelings. Fear of having a loved one walkout is not unusual and may represent itself in the course of our dreams.

If your partner leaving you is turning into a common theme in your dreams, you may be insecure about your relationship. There may be problems with your relationship that you need to address. Talking about those fears with your partner is a healthy way to resolve your issues.

When these types of dreams continue to be a concern and cause nightmares, this may lead to insomnia. It may be time to seek help to ensure that your mental and physical health is not being negatively affected.

You will find these fifty dream meanings intriguing.

Can Dreams Impact Your Health?

Dream research indicates that dreams may reveal signs about health. While some people believe dreams are just random thoughts swirling about in our sleep, research shows that dreams may be an indicator of physical and mental health.

Some of the research has indicated that recurring dreams may be important indicators of your health.

Dreams may be indications that you have heart disease or sleep apnea and are being generated as a nightmare as a warning sign.

  • If you wake up from recurring dreams in the early morning, this may arise from a mood disorder like anxiety or depression, which is preventing you from a healthy REM cycle during the night.
  • Vivid and bizarre dreams don’t mean anything is wrong, but they may indicate a problem with alcohol, medications, or Parkinson’s disease.
  • Consistently having bad dreams may be an issue of poor diet or a vitamin deficiency or maybe a sensory trigger from movies, music, or events you witnessed during the day.

Dreams are essential for several reasons. They mean you are sleeping deeply and experiencing REM. This level of sleep is necessary for our bodies and brains to function well. Dreams also bring to life the emotions that we feel during the day but often don’t address. They bring those emotions to light in a new way and often help heal emotional wounds.

Dreams are essentially stripping the emotion out of negative experiences by creating a new memory. This experience is healthy for us because it helps process our feelings. If we can’t handle emotions, we will be more prone to anxiety and worry. Dreams are good for our mental health.

For those who have experienced emotional trauma, or PTSD, dreams can be therapeutic. The University of California conducted a sleep study that concluded people who have experienced psychological trauma have stress hormones released. The brain can work through that event during dreams and divorce the mind from the associated emotions.

 

Final Thoughts on Using Recurring Dreams for Positive Change

Powerofpositivity.com explains how you can use dreams to make positive changes. Consider using your dreams to make reasonable changes in your life. Your dreams may be giving you clues to subconscious problems you are not addressing. They may be giving you advice about insecurities you are not able to face when you are awake.

Don’t ignore or discarding recurring dreams. Try writing down your dreams as soon as you wake up, when they are fresh in your mind. If you don’t write them down, they will be as elusive as ascending smoke from a fire. And so, they will disappear into thin air.

Look up the themes of your dreams, especially if you have recurring dreams. If you have concerns, you can talk to a dream therapist who can help you find answers to the clues your mind is telling you when you are asleep. Dreams can be the answers to mental and physical issues if you learn to interpret and understand what they are trying to say to you.

Lifestyle

Financial Planners Share 21 Money Saving Tips Never to Ignore

Financial Planners Share 21 Money Saving Tips Never to Ignore


Financial planners have different opinions about what you should do with your money, but there are essential money saving tips they all agree on. So, what do financial planners say are the best money saving tips you should never ignore?

21 Money Saving Tips Never to Ignore

1.Have some savings

One tip all financial planners agree on is that you should have a savings plan. They advise that you save a certain amount every month, at least five or ten percent of your salary. It’s best to have the money automatically deposited into your savings account from your paycheck. Experts recommend you save at least one month’s funds to cover an emergency.

2. Don’t spend everything you make

This advice seems simple enough, but if you are living paycheck to paycheck, it is challenging to do. If you have a small salary with debt, you must consider this as you make financial decisions. This time may not be right to purchase a car or eat out every evening.  Making wise choices on big or small purchases helps you live within your means.

3. Ask for a raise

If you need an increase to make ends meet at home, ask for it. You need to know what your job is worth in the marketplace. Think about your education, training, job experience, and what you’ve done for your company-all these things contribute to your overall job worth.

Get paid what you’re worth, being underpaid is money you need for bills, savings, and investments. You’ll never be able to get ahead if you are underpaid. If your current job can’t pay you what you’re worth, it may be time to find another job.

4. Pay down credit cards

If you have several credit cards, pay down the credit cards with the highest amount of interest first. Pay off the smallest amount required on your other credits cards to avoid a penalty. After paying off the high-interest credit card, close that one out using only the low-interest cards.

5. Have a budget

Another money savings tip recommended by all financial planners is to have a budget. It gives you a good understanding of where you’re spending your money. Figure out what your total income is after taxes. Choose what kind of budget plan you want to use to keep track of your expenses. You can use banking apps that automatically break down your spending or a spreadsheet to keep track of costs. Pick the plan that works best for you. Then decide what your costs are. The National Institutes of Health offers a list of money-saving tips for food budgeting.

Besides food, your budget includes

  • Other groceries
  • Rent
  • Household expenses
  • Insurance
  • Car
  • Child care
  • Entertainment
  • Perscriptions
  • Pet care
  • Parking
  • Clothing
  • Work wardrobe
  • Gifts
  • Banking fees
  • Loan payments/credit card payments
  • Travel
  • Gym memberships
  • Subscriptions

6. Prepare for retirement

Saving for retirement doesn’t seem important when you are just getting started, but it’s one money savings tips all financial planners suggest.  They say you should contribute something to your retirement savings, even if it’s a slight amount. Your employer may offer you a 401(K) retirement plan, and it’s a good idea to add to it.  Some plans match what you add with interest.  Saving for retirement is essential, and if you begin early, you’ll be nicely situated when you’re older.

Remember, too. Your overall expenses will go down once you hit retirement age. By the time you reach 65  or 70, your house mortgage will be paid off. Plus, your children will be out of the house, so you’ll be spending less on supporting their needs.

7. Pay down other debts

Most financial planners suggest you pay down your student loans and mortgage

slowly. Many mortgages have a penalty if you pay off the loan early. Also, this kind of debt isn’t as high in interest as other kinds of debt. And the interest on student loans and mortgages are tax-deductible. Use for money for other things, like investments or savings.

8. Keep your savings and check account separate

Your checking account has available money you need for your regular monthly expenses and bills. It’s the place where your paycheck will be automatically sent, minus monies you’re putting into your savings account.  A checking account gives you access to your money right when you need it.  A savings account should be left alone. Depending upon your bank, they will offer an interest rate on your savings.

9. Get rid of your subscriptions

Dump your subscriptions. They eat away at your income. It’s easy to forget if you have them. You often get one or two months free, and then the fees kick in. You may forget you have it.

10. Buy life insurance

If you’re young, you may not think you need life insurance. But if you have dependents or people who depend upon your financial contributions, then you need life insurance.

These people will become financially responsible after you die, so it’s a necessary part of your fiscal money-saving plan. This life insurance will be used to pay off debts after you die. Even if you’re young, buy life insurance since it’s cheaper when you’re young and healthy.

11. Review your budget every year

Every year, review your income, budget, savings, and debt. Life changes, you get a new job, or you have a baby, you realize these changes mean you need to adjust your budget or taxes since you now have a little tax exemption. Other things that affect your financial assessment include;

  • Rent changes
  • Health insurance premiums rise
  • The cost of living goes up-food, clothing, etc.
  • Inheritance
  • Auto-insurance goes up
  • Property taxes rise
  • Water or electric costs rise

Doing an annual review is like a health checkup.  You keep a pulse on how you’re doing financially and can adjust things if needed at this point rather than in a moment of panicked realization of some unexpected costs.

12. Write down all your expenses

This concept is simple enough, but many people don’t do it. Keeping a record of how you spend your money may be revealing. You may be shocked to find you’re spending lots of money on subscriptions or memberships you don’t even use.

13. Check your credit score

Your credit score is the number that shows lenders your borrowing practices. Knowing your credit score will help

  • Keep your loan interest rates lower when you borrow money
  • Helps you know your overall financial health
  • Make sure your score hasn’t been compromised
  • Determines if you can spend money on a house or car
  • You may not be able to rent an apartment if you have a bad credit score

Having a good credit score is like taking care of your body. Keep it healthy, and you’ll be able to do more things with fewer problems.

14. Use bank apps

Downloading your bank apps on our phone is excellent for keeping tabs on your spending habits. You’re more apt to check your phone since you carry it around. Plus, you’ll get notifications when your account gets hit, so it’s more secure, too.

15. Start saving for holiday costs in January

How many days till the holidays? The best time to save for the next holiday season is as soon as the season is over. Holiday gifts, parties, and travel all add up. When you save early, you won’t be hit with huge expenditures around the holidays.

Financial planners suggest you put aside $50 every month starting in January for your holiday fund. By the time you get to the holidays, you’ll be ready to pay for everything without going into debt.

16. Invest if possible

Most financial planners suggest you invest, even if it’s just a little bit of money. You could invest in

  • the stock market
  • real estate
  • Your employer’s retirement plan
  • 401(K)
  • mutual funds

17. Learn to say no

It’s easy to spend money because of others. If your extended family wants you to join in on a beach house rental for a week, it’s tough to tell them you can’t afford it. It’s hard to admit to your co-workers you can’t go out for drinks with them on Fridays. It takes strength to just say no, but it’s the best choice when you’re trying to get yourself financially stable.

18. Cut out things you don’t need

It’s easy to spend on unnecessary things. Whether it’s purchasing a large coffee every morning at a coffee shop or buying snacks at the snack machine every day, these things add up. Go over your daily, weekly, and monthly expenses. Stop spending money on these little habits. It’s a simple way to save money.

19. Save extra money

If you get a big tax refund, stow it away in your savings account as soon as possible. Things like a bonus at work, an inheritance are perfect for your savings. They weren’t part of your budget, so it’s money you didn’t expect to save.

20. Wait a day before buy

Financial planners would agree that giving yourself a good twenty-four hours before you make a purchase. This waiting period helps offset impulsive purchases. If you’re shopping online, see if you can put your items on a wish list, then go back a few days and see if you want to buy them.

21. Make a cash-only rule

Some financial planners suggest this money saving tip of spending only cash for a brief period. They recommend this so you can get control of your overspending. It’s an abrupt way to get your spending under control, but it might be worth a try.

Final Thoughts on Implementing These Money Saving Tips

These money saving tips will help you get your finances in order. With careful planning, you can lead a satisfying and secure financial life.

Lifestyle

10 Habits of Strong Couples Never to Ignore 

10 Habits of Strong Couples Never to Ignore 


You’ve seen those pictures of the cute little elderly couple holding hands and smiling sweetly at one another as they celebrate sixty years of being together. They usually get asked the secret to their long relationship. It’s inspiring.  Many people wonder what strengthens a connection.  So, here are ten habits of strong couples to never ignore.

10 Habits of Strong Couples

1 – Communicate

One of the best practices of strong couples is their ability to communicate with one another. Communicating well means you can share what’s on your heart of mind without fear that the other person will laugh at you. Being vulnerable when you talk with someone deepens your relationship. Things you may want to talk about with your partner include

  • Goals
  • Expectations
  • Dreams
  • Disappointments
  • Fears
  • Joys

Communication also means feeling the freedom to share something your partner did that you don’t like without fear of them getting angry at you. One study found that couples who learn how to communicate during a conflict will sustain their relationship. It takes commitment to keep talking during a battle, instead of running away. You may need to take a break to calm down but then get back together later to talk it out. Strong couples value communication and make it work.

2 – Resist blame-shifting

Healthy, strong couples resist the urge to blame-shift. Blame-shifting is easy to slip into if you’re not careful, especially when you’re feeling upset. But it’s a damaging habit to a relationship. If you feel like your partner blames you without taking responsibility for their actions, you should gently push back. Point out their contribution to the problem and own up to your contributions. Tell your partner honestly how it makes you feel when they blame-shift. Sometimes people don’t realize what they’re doing or how they affect others. It’s essential to help them understand how their actions affect you. Stable couples can work through bad habits like blame-shifting and learn to change.

3 – Good listening

Listening is an essential skill in any relationship. It shows you care for them enough to hear what they’re saying to you. Checking your emails while they’re talking or glancing at the television while they pour out their heart won’t go over well. Your actions are clearly saying you don’t care. One study found that when a partner shows careful listening as their partner talks,  it improves their communication and boosts the overall happiness of the relationship. Healthy couples value good listening and desire to become better listeners.

4 – Assume the best about one another

Assuming the best about your partner means you aren’t believing that they’re being unfaithful, lying to you, or out to get you.  It means you trust them and their choices, and you don’t feel superior to them. This attitude can weaken your relationship. Your partner will feel they can’t do anything without being questioned and mistrusted. Strong couples have mutual trust for one another without jealousy or accusations about intentions.

5 – Laugh together

Strong couples know how to laugh together. They aren’t worried about how the other person will take a joke or loving “put down.” They deliver their humor with kindness, not being mean spirited. They don’t take themselves too seriously so they can’t laugh at themselves.  Like the old proverb says, “Laughter is good medicine,” one study revealed that laughter makes you healthier and helps fight stress. A strong couple knows how to use laughing to enhance their relationship and make it more fun.

6 – Emotional support

Supporting your partner emotionally means you encourage them in their difficulties at work or school, or home. Emotional support is essential because you feel like your partner understands you; they want the best for you and will do whatever they can to support you through tough times. Learning how to ask the right questions is vital for couples.

Healthy couples seek to learn how to help one another. They’re continually learning how to improve their relationship by reading books or encouraging quotes, listening to podcasts, or attending seminars on how to build better relationships.

7 – Encourage one another

Encouragement is a great way to build up your relationship. It’s something that a lot of couples don’t do. They assume their partner doesn’t need to be encouraged. Studies show that encouragement makes partners feel supported. Here are some encouraging things you can say to your partner.

  • I love you
  • You are amazing
  • I appreciate you did that
  • Thank you
  • You make me feel loved
  • You make me feel cared for
  • I’m so glad you are my partner
  • I missed you today
  • I appreciate your thoughtfulness

8 – Have the same friends

Having your friends is great, but strong couples make it a priority to have shared friends. Hanging out with other couples can help your relationship. As the couples share what’s going on in their relationship, you’ll find out that your relationship has many of the same struggles. You also learn from other couples how not to act. If you notice the cruel way one partner treats their partner,  it makes you not want to do that in your relationship.

9 – Show respect

Stable couples respect one another. Respect means you regard their feelings, rights, and opinions. Other ways to show respect include

  • If your partner asks you to do something they need, you are ready to help them
  • No eye-rolling
  • No sarcastic or snarky comments
  • Patient rather than irritable
  • Being compassionate
  • Allow them to contribute their ideas freely
  • Acknowledge how important they are
  • Apologize when you make mistakes
  • Take responsibility for hurtful words or actions toward your partner
  • Forgive quickly without strings attached
  • Show respect in public

10 – Commitment to the relationship

One of the best habits of a strong couple is that they are both committed to the relationship. They showed determination from the beginning. They want the partnership to succeed. Here are some ways to tell if your partner is committed to your relationship:

  • They build you up, not tear you down
  • They say “we” instead of “I”
  • Both partners value the relationship
  • Don’t look around at other potential choices of partners
  • Value the relationship above other relationships

Strong couples are willing to sacrifice for the sake of the relationship. One study found there was greater trust in a relationship for couples as they saw their partner moving away from self-interest for the relationship.

How can you help your relationship?

All relationships need to grow stronger. Even small things can make a big difference in a relationship. Here are some simple ways to strengthen your relationship.

  • Have a date night-Getting out once a week to do something as a couple will enhance your relationship.
  • Small things are meaningful-Little gifts, flowers or a dessert can be meaningful
  • Call or text-Reaching out to your partner to say hello means a lot to your partner
  • Ask questions-Even after being together for years. You can learn something about your partner
  • Show affection on a regular basis-Affection is critical for a couple. Without love, you may as well have a business relationship
  • Get time for yourself, too-Being a couple is important, but you need time alone, too. Get out once awhile on your one for a meal with a friend or family member.

Strong couples are easy to spot. You can’t ignore them. They’re the ones who show one another respect in public,  listen to one another, and are committed to making their relationship successful. They communicate well. They’re easy to spot because they don’t care what others say about them; they care more about one another and what the other partner thinks is important.

These partners stick together through the tough times. They find ways to grow their relationship, so it’s even stronger. Strong couples get old and gray together, and that’s something to never ignore.

Connect with your partner by asking questions

Our needs, dreams, and goals change in life. Strong partners keep attuned to those shifts. Ask questions to ensure you remain aware of your spouse’s evolving needs!

Sometimes it’s hard to come up with good questions. Here’s some you might want to ask your partner.

  • What would a romantic night look like to you?
  • Do you have any fears?
  • If you had an hour and wouldn’t get interrupted, what would you do?
  • Is there something I could do to help you with work, school, the house?
  • What do you sometimes feel anxious about?
  • Is there something you wish I did more? Less?
  • Do you feel like I meet your needs?
  • Am I affectionate enough?
  • Can you count on me?
  • Are you happy with our sex life? How can I help make it better?
  • Would you like to be a singer? An actor?
  • What is a perfect day, in your opinion?
  • What’s your favorite song? A beloved cartoon character?
  • If you were on a desert island, what two foods would you want to have with you?
  • What’s the worse experience you had in elementary school?
  • What do you think is vital in friendships?
  • What’s your most treasured childhood toy?
  • What was your most embarrassing moment in high school? College?
  • When was the last time you cried in public?
  • Who was your favorite teacher in middle school? Why?
  • What was your favorite pet growing up?
  • If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?
  • Who is the most influential person in your life?

Final Thoughts on Adopting the Habits of Strong Couples

Others around them may envy strong couples. But the underlying truth is clear. They work hard together to maintain that happy status. Every relationship deserves such thoughtfulness and care. And any couple who wants to strengthen their partnership can apply these same principles.

Lifestyle

10 Hidden Signs Of Mental Abuse To Never Ignore

10 Hidden Signs Of Mental Abuse To Never Ignore


Do you feel insulted, or perhaps your self-esteem has been reduced to flakes? Sometimes it’s the constant downplaying of your independence and dignity from your spouse that keeps your eyes wet most of the night. For a majority of people, emotional and mental abuse persists for extended periods as it doesn’t leave physical marks.

Mental abuse is often insidious, easy to cover, and can go undetected by close friends, family members, and even with the victim themselves. Unlike physical and sexual abuse, emotional abuse can be confusing. In this piece, we will discuss some of the commonly hidden signs of emotional abuse that should be clear tell-tales that you need to run.

10 Hidden Signs of Mental Abuse

If these sound like you, it could be time to make some hard decisions.

1 – Over-protectiveness

At the beginning of the relationship, when your spouse consistently communicates and checks-in to see how you are fairing, it may seem caring. The genuine concern could sweep your feet away, especially if you had been craving for an emotionally invested partner. Nonetheless, it’s easy for your partner to cross the line and turn these behaviors into harassment.

As time goes by, you may notice that your spouse intrudes on your personal space, threatens you when you don’t pick up your phone or text back immediately. A toxic partner will demand an ongoing account of your daily whereabouts and could even limit where you go and who you spend your time with. The relentless suffocation and harassment shouldn’t be confused for being concerned and caring.

cheating spouse

2 – Negative criticizing and humiliation

The abuser may have mastered the art of undermining your self-esteem and confidence in several ways. At first, it begins as “jokes” that shouldn’t move or anger you in any way. They continue to manifest into unrelenting and harsh criticisms that could break you into pieces. How do you spot this?

Toxic partners will ridicule your appearance, lifestyle choices, spending habits, and personal decisions. Your spouse may say out-rightly hurtful things about you and sugarcoat them as “jokes.” Sarcastic remarks have boundaries and shouldn’t make you feel bad about yourself.

You may also notice that your toxic partner turns down all efforts that go into pointing out these harsh criticisms and humiliation. Your spouse may bring up earlier incidences where they made these jokes, and you didn’t confront them, he or she could make you second-guess yourself or shut you off by saying that you are overreacting. You aren’t crazy: if you feel humiliated about a partner’s comment, it’s time to table your emotions and thoughts.

3 – Hot and cold affection

Do you find yourself in the middle of cold wars always? While it’s common to argue with your partner about various things throughout your relationship, it’s not healthy for them to withhold affection, sex, or finances when you don’t comply with them. You’ve probably noticed that your spouse becomes hostile, cold, and irritated based on their emotions.

Their love is selfish and mainly relies on your willingness to bend your thoughts on a specific subject. This kind of affection is typically manipulative and aims at controlling you. You will often find yourself walking on eggshells to avoid disappointing or enraging them.

If you find yourself always self-editing or second-guessing yourself around them, it means you’ve recognized the mental abuse in your unhealthy relationship. Nonetheless, you have taken up the job to comfort their emotions first, all the time, equating to emotional abuse.

mental abuse

4 – Unfair blame game

Take a few minutes to recall how your arguments resolve. Are you always taking the blame for everything that goes wrong in your relationship? How many times have you received an apology for a wrong done to you?

In emotionally abusive cases, you are probably taking all the blame, and your partner hardly takes the blame mantle; it’s always your fault. In some cases, when the blame entirely falls on your spouse, he or she becomes manipulative, turns down the responsibility of accepting the mistake, and puts it on others. You are continually arguing and settling down arguments with a toxic partner who will never admit they made a mistake.

Over time, this form of emotional abuse gradually grows, and you may start to think that there’s something wrong with you. You may begin to reason that you aren’t good enough to keep your spouse calm and that their behaviors are justified. You eventually view yourself as an imperfect party while they take the perfect mantle.

5 – Your partner makes you feel small

It takes years of building confidence in yourself, and no one should belittle you into thinking otherwise. Unfortunately, mentally abusive partners usually are into the habit of downgrading and putting down their partners, which can be less apparent in the relationship’s initial stages. According to therapists, this is a tactic used by the abuser to garner control and power in a relationship.

Pay attention to how your spouse reacts to your achievements and strengths. Most abusers will show little or no interest in your progress. However, they will exploit every weakness or vulnerability.

You may also note many disturbing comments that belittle you and your accomplishments. They may also compare you and your strengths to other people to make you feel inadequate. With more passing time, your self-esteem can slowly diminish to become a shadow of itself.

6 – Placing ultimatums

As earlier discussed, a toxic partner is naturally manipulative and gets to reveal himself or herself within the course of the relationship. A threat doesn’t necessarily mean that you will have a gun to your head. On the contrary, you will be forced to do something against your will despite knowing that the decision or move doesn’t make you happy.

Have you found yourself doing things that don’t make you happy so that you can maintain the smile on your toxic partner’s face? Does your spouse threaten to leave you if you fail to adhere to their desires and wants? Placing ultimatums in your relationship is a clear indication that you are in an emotionally abusive commitment where everything that matters depends on your partner’s wants and needs entirely.

7 – What’s in the past doesn’t remain in the past

As it should be, once you’ve discussed an argument and forgiven each other, the incidence should be buried. Easier said than done with most mental abuse cases. Emotional abusive people are always in the habit of holding and reviving grudges to maintain some sort of control and power in an unhealthy relationship.

You may notice that your spouse goes into defensive mode when they are in the wrong. They will quickly overturn facts through reviving past mistakes and incidences to defend their behavior and regard themselves as “good and justified.”

Eventually, you will find yourself arguing about the same thing over and over again, and nothing resolves completely. High chances are you will always take the blame to avoid dragging the argument.

8 – One-sided relationship

A one-sided relationship is a dangerous relationship. It mainly involves one party putting all the effort, time, and energy into making it work and keeping the other happy. It’s never reciprocated. In many cases, the one putting in all the effort often is the victim of mental abuse.

Look at it more like a bully forcing you to make them happy and satisfied while they do nothing to make you happy in return. This manipulative tactic is common among people who get comfortable in a relationship once they know their spouse is already engaged in it. In the end, the victim loses a lot more, including themselves, into the one-sided relationship.

emotional-abuse

9 – You find yourself apologizing for things you haven’t done

Do you find yourself apologizing for things your toxic partner forcefully accuses you of? Mental abusers have a way of getting into your head, manipulating you, and coercing you into apologizing for something you haven’t done.

Here’s an example. You decide to catch up with a friend or workmate and fail to pick his or her call. Therefore, your spouse may conclude you are cheating.

With receipts and accusations all geared at forcing you to confess that you cheated, you could end up apologizing for something your toxic partner framed and made-up. If you find yourself in a situation where you have to bend your truth to accommodate your partner’s accusations, things need to change. These continued habits could force you into isolation and self-doubt.

10 – Putting on an act

Mental abuse can seemingly last for ages, mainly because the abuser acts personable, attractive, and charming in public. This makes it hard to explain the real picture to friends and family who have a different perspective on the individual. This is the same reason why victims fall into their abusers’ arms as the abuser initially sweeps off their feet before revealing his or her true identity.

Would you describe your spouse as the same person both in public and when they are with you? If your answer is confusing, you probably have an abuser for a partner. Mental abusers are willing to put on an act for as long as the victim plays along.

mental abuse
Here are signs you partner is manipulating you. It could be time to move on.

Final thoughts on mental abuse

Unlike verbal, physical, and sexual abuse, mental abuse typically lasts longer. The abuse is silent, and victims unsuspecting. If not rectified immediately, the violence often culminates into physical abuse after taking a significant toll on your mental health. Recognize these signs of mentally abusive relationship. Indeed, you could help yourself or a loved one to walk out of a dangerous and disastrous relationship.