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Psychology Reveals 7 Traits of a Stubborn Person

Psychology Reveals 7 Traits of a Stubborn Person

We often think of being stubborn as a negative trait, but being a little hard-headed comes in handy sometimes. It helps you stand your ground and not give in to people out of peer pressure or guilt. It does pay to compromise in certain situations, but you also have to know when to stand firm with people.

No matter how you feel about stubbornness, new research shows that this personality trait might actually help you live longer! A study by the University of California San Diego School of Medicine and the University of Rome La Sapienza sought to find a connection between certain personality traits and longevity.  Twenty-nine individuals aged 90-101 from remote rural villages in Italy participated in the study. At the conclusion of the study, the scientists confirmed that the group had better mental health overall than their younger family members aged 51-75, even though their physical health was worse.

The group had a few key traits in common, including a stubborn streak, a hearty work ethic, healthy relationships with family, an optimistic attitude, and a life close to nature. Researchers believe that being stubborn helped participants care less about what others thought of them, which in turn lowered their mental stress. This mental fortitude and unyielding disposition aided them greatly in keeping a positive outlook on life.

“We also found that this group tended to be domineering, stubborn, and needed a sense of control…” study co-author Anna Scelzo stated in a press release from UC San Diego Health,

“This tendency to control the environment suggests notable grit that is balanced by a need to adapt to changing circumstances.”

So, as you can see, being stubborn does pay off! Below, we’ll go over some of the critical traits of a stubborn person. Because having a lot of pride does come with its downsides. Thus, we will talk about some of the challenges stubborn people face as well.

“You don’t stay undefeated without being a little stubborn.” ~Andre Ward

Psychology reveals seven traits of a stubborn person:

  1. They have a strong will.

Stubborn people never hesitate to follow through with something they genuinely believe in. If they have a vision, they will accomplish their goals, come hellfire, or high water. This mental vigor pays off because you can’t reach your destination if you have fears about even leaving the driveway. In other words, having pride enables you to stay consistent with your dreams and keep the momentum going even when you reach setbacks.

Having a strong will may come from facing challenging situations in childhood. People who have a lot of struggles early on in life may have a greater appreciation for hard work and will walk the extra mile to achieve their dreams. Those who have nothing to lose and everything to gain know all too well how it feels to stare up that mountain from the very bottom. However, the climb makes the journey worth it.

Those who have unshakable willpower don’t let life stand in their way, and they don’t cave easily under pressure. This segues into our next point.

  1. Stubborn people have a lot of resilience.

Those who have a lot of pride feel that they must do everything on their own. Nothing got handed to them in life, and they know if they want something, they will have to work for it. However, no challenge intimidates or scares away a stubborn person. They have the drive and indomitable will to shape reality how they see fit.

They will work 16 hour days if they have to in order to accomplish their goals. A stubborn person may seem intimidating when you first meet them, but they don’t allow others’ opinions to ruffle their feathers. They have much larger fish to fry, so they just keep their eyes on the prize.

  1. They won’t sway their opinion just because of peer pressure.

A stubborn person won’t cave in an argument just because no one agrees with them. They’ll make their points, have evidence to back them up, and stand their ground even if no one stands with them. While some people will just go with the herd because it feels comfortable, a person with pride doesn’t let the groupthink mentality affect them.

No matter the topic, stubborn people bring a lot of fire to a discussion, expanding the minds of everyone in the room. Although, they sometimes have a difficult time admitting when they’re wrong, so it doesn’t always go both ways. Their inflexible personality can often cause disharmony in the lives of stubborn people because they don’t like to admit defeat or error.

If they can keep an open mind during discussions, it will help them greatly in both the workplace and their home life.

  1. Stubborn people have a passionate attitude about life.

Because stubborn people don’t like to back down from a challenge, they have a lot of passion and vigor for life. Nothing seems off-limits or impossible for them because of their willpower and determination to get things done. Stubborn people often excel in the following careers due to their hard-headed disposition, according to research from

  • wholesale and manufacturing sales representative
  • retail sales worker
  • management analyst
  • human resources manager
  • police officer

These jobs require a lot of social interaction, but they also cater to people who have a lot of pride in their skills and ability to accomplish a task. For these reasons, you might consider careers in these fields if you have a particular personality type.

Here are ways you can end arguments with your partner.
  1. They usually have a good work ethic.

Stubborn people have high standards for themselves and enjoy getting the job done, no matter what it might entail. They typically do better working alone because of their sometimes combative nature, but if they can tone it down a notch, working in groups doesn’t present a problem. Having pride in one’s work only becomes a problem when people trample on others or don’t consider their opinions.

So, if the person in question can learn to listen attentively to others and try to understand their perspective, they will have no trouble working in a group setting. Being stubborn can sometimes pay off when working with others because these types of people have a willingness to do tedious tasks that others may cringe at.

  1. They may resist change.

Stubborn people often have excellent resistance to change because they like to follow the status quo. Because of this inflexibility, this might just be their downfall. Life changes constantly, so it pays to have an open mind and a willingness to go with the flow. Stubborn people will have to work on their rigid way of living if they want to reach their potential truly.

  1. Stubborn people sometimes like to argue to prove a point.

Not backing down in a discussion is one thing, but having a lot of pride sometimes means instigating arguments just for the sake of it. Stubborn people have an insatiable need to be right, and they see arguing as a fun pastime. Beware if you cross a stubborn person with a lot of time on their hands because they might just start hitting you with heavy topics, like religion, politics, or gun control.

They may not mean to cause any discord, but they genuinely see discussions as a means of expanding one’s mind and seeing the world from another perspective. So, they may not realize they’re overstepping boundaries if others don’t enjoy arguing as they do. Perhaps they’d enjoy a career as a lawyer for this reason as well because a right amount of debating goes on in the courtroom.

Ways to deal with a stubborn person:

  • Walk away for a bit to breathe. Sometimes, you just need some space to cool off before you can deal with any problems. If the two of you just can’t see eye-to-eye, you might want to walk away before things get too heated. This way, you can circle back to the issue with a clear head.
  • Try to understand their side. Perhaps they’ve had to defend themselves from a young age and just don’t know how to communicate well. Try to understand where they’re coming from before writing them off as merely impossible to deal with.
  • Attempt to compromise. Stubborn people and compromise don’t usually appear in the same sentence. However, any rational, mature person would want to see things from another’s perspective. Try to arrive at a middle ground with them, as long as they seem open to discussing it.

Final thoughts on traits of a stubborn person

If you have a stubborn person in your life, you know the difficulties you face in dealing with them. They may seem argumentative and stuck in their ways, but they have their positive traits as well. Being stubborn means not backing down from challenges, having a strong work ethic, standing up for yourself, and having a lot of passion. These traits can take someone far in life as long as their hardheadedness doesn’t get the best of them.


10 Signs The Person You’re With Is an Abusive Narcissist

10 Signs The Person You're With Is an Abusive Narcissist

If you find yourself wondering if your new love may be an abusive narcissist, these signs can help. Even if you don’t think they are an abusive narcissist, it’s a good idea to read these signs just to be sure. Either way, knowing these signs could help you or someone else you know.

Narcissists tend to have an unusually high sense of importance and a severe need for attention and admiration. They often have problems in their relationships, including family, friends, and romantic relationships.

Being in a relationship with an abusive narcissist isn’t just demeaning and emotionally draining for you. According to studies, it will cause brain damage over time. It can cause PTSD and C-PTSD, a shrinking hippocampus, and a swelling amygdala.

The hippocampus is essential in learning and development, and the amygdala plays a role in shame, guilt, envy, and fear. With a shrinking hippocampus and a swelling amygdala, you will experience those negative emotions instead of learning and developing. Because of this, it’s essential to recognize the signs of an abusive narcissist so you can end the relationship.

Ten Warning Signs That Your New Love is an Abusive Narcissist

Do you believe you might be falling in love with someone who is not quite as they seemed at first? Now is the time to become brutally honest with yourself–look for these ten red flags.

1. Narcissists Always Turn the Conversation to Themselves

If your new significant other continually talks about themselves, even when the conversation is unrelated, they may be a narcissist. They will love to talk about what they have accomplished so that they can feel better than those around them.

This need is because they want others to think that they are smarter than they are. Not only will they always talk about their accomplishments, but they’ll also exaggerate them. They want to feel superior, so they will make it sound like they have done much more than they have.

If your partner has ever made a conversation about you into one about them, it’s a sign. This habit will show if they don’t ask questions when you tell them something about yourself or your life.

2. They Don’t Show Any Empathy

They may not be able to understand how other people are feeling. If this is the case, it’s a sign of a narcissist. You’ll find yourself feeling invalidated and misunderstood. They won’t accept your feelings, as they can’t understand them or even acknowledge the way you’re feeling.

This could be evident if they don’t care if you’ve had a bad day or had a fight with a friend. If your parents or siblings hurt your feelings, they won’t pay attention. They may say they don’t want to hear about it, change the subject, or just ignore you as you’re speaking.

3. They Try to Gaslight You

As a form of manipulation, an abusive narcissist will try to gaslight you. Narcissists are good at this, so they may succeed if you don’t recognize what is happening. They’ll lie even when caught red-handed, accuse others, exaggerate the truth, and try to convince you along the way.

Even when they have been caught red-handed, they’ll still try to lie. They will stick to their story even when you have proof, and try to convince you that you are wrong.

Eventually, if they are successful at gaslighting you, you’ll start experiencing many negative feelings. You’ll feel anxious and less confident, and you’ll often wonder if you are too sensitive. Additionally, you may feel like the things you do are wrong, and you’ll blame yourself when things don’t work out.

When you’ve been gaslighted enough times, you’ll find yourself apologizing for things that aren’t your fault. You’ll always feel like something is wrong, even if there is no evidence that there is a problem. Plus, you’ll find yourself secretly questioning the behavior of your partner while making excuses for them at the same time.

4. They Were Charming at First but Quickly Changed

At the beginning of the relationship, they may have been super sweet and charming. Frequently, they communicated with you often and were quick to tell you that they love you. Then, suddenly, they became a person who criticized you and made you feel bad about yourself.

Always use caution when entering a relationship because if it moves too quickly, it’s a bad sign. They may not even know enough about you to love you but will say it anyway.

5. They Don’t Have Long-Term Friendships

Most people have a friend from their past that they keep in touch with and continue their relationship for years. They’ll keep in touch even when life has changed, someone has moved, or they don’t see each other often. Narcissists, however, don’t have this.

They also won’t have a best friend that they have known for a long time. You may notice that they talk about their friends behind their backs, too.

Another sign of this is that they’ll start wanting to hang out with you and your friends all the time. They’ll make you feel bad for wanting to hang out with them alone, and they will criticize your friends, too.

The lack of long-term friendships could stem from a narcissist trait of only treating people well when they want something. Once they have received what they wanted from the person, they begin to distance themselves. If they don’t distance themselves first, the other person will begin to notice the signs and end the friendship.

6. Abusive Narcissists Think They are Always Right and Never Apologize

It’s bad enough when someone thinks they are always right, but add in the inability to apologize, and you have a toxic mix. You won’t be able to effectively argue or debate with them, and they definitely won’t compromise.

They will not be able to let it go if you disagree with them, either. They will keep at it until they think you changed your mind. You may often feel like your partner doesn’t hear or understand you and that they won’t take responsibility.

Their inability to apologize will appear in everyday situations. If they show up for dinner late or don’t call when they said they would, they won’t apologize. They may cancel at the last minute for plans that are important to you, and they still won’t apologize.

7. They are Always Looking for Compliments

Narcissists tend to appear confident in themselves, but they aren’t. Most narcissists lack self-esteem and constantly look for compliments to make them feel better.

They often need compliments to make them feel powerful and to give them a sense of self-worth. It’s also worth noting that when someone criticizes them, narcissists don’t take it very well. Then, they’ll need ever more compliments to make them feel better about themselves.

8. Abusive Narcissists Often Criticize Others

To feel better about themselves, narcissists put other people down. They will go out of their way to make someone feel or look bad. In this way, their lack of self-confidence pushes them to make others feel as bad as they do.

9. They Pick on You and Criticize You Often

At the beginning of a relationship with a narcissist, they will make it seem like teasing. They’ll put a cute twist on it and laugh about it, making it seem like a joke. Further into the relationship, however, that could suddenly change.

Narcissists tend to criticize and poke fun at things that those close to them do. It could be about what you wear, eat, drink, read, or your friends. They might have a problem with your favorite shows or your hobby.

What may begin as playful comments about these things will become much worse. They will start insulting you by calling you names or making mean comments. Jokes that aren’t funny will become normal, all because it makes them feel more powerful than you.

10. They Don’t Take a Break-Up Well

While it’s true that most people don’t take break-ups well, narcissists take it to the next level. They may have spent time being mean, ignoring, or gaslighting you, but then panic when you end the relationship. This is simply because they have to feel powerful, so they will do and say whatever it takes to keep you.

They may cry, tell you over and over again how much they love you, and say all the right things. Promises of change are sure to come, and they may seem sincere. Just remember how suddenly things changed before, however, because it will happen again.

If you don’t cave to their pleas and promises of change, they’ll try to hurt you even more. They will feel abandoned by you and feel rage or hatred. This is because they can’t take responsibility for the problems in your relationship, so they place the blame on you.

Don’t be surprised if you hear about them saying bad things about you to make themselves look good. They may likely begin dating someone new right away, too. Sometimes, they may even try to steal your friends to save their reputation.

Final Thoughts on Recognizing the Warning Signs That Your New Love Is An Abusive Narcissist

If your new love is an abusive narcissist, you have more to worry about than just having your feelings hurt. As explained before, continued narcissistic abuse can cause PTSD or brain damage.

Your mental health is more worthy of your energy than the feelings of your new partner, so put yourself first in this instance. Keep in mind that showing you are upset will only fuel the narcissist. They love to get an emotional rise out of the person they are abusing.

Instead, end the relationship firmly and don’t give in to their pleas and empty promises. Don’t stick around for an argument, because you can’t win against a narcissist. Instead, say what you must say to the abusive narcissist and remove yourself from the situation.


How to Tell If a Person Is Smart in 3 Minutes or Less

How to Tell If a Person Is Smart in 3

We’re not here to discuss the intricacies of intelligence or what makes someone smart, so let’s just get that out of the way.

Yes, we know that things like I.Q. are controversial. And yes, we know that intelligence can be defined in many ways. Yes, our current methods of measuring intelligence need to change.

But let’s not kid ourselves. Some people are smarter than others. And, sometimes, we need to be able to tell if a person’s smart.

Maybe we’re a business owner and need to hire a sharp mind. Perhaps we’re looking for the best and brightest doctor to keep us healthy. Or maybe a brilliant tutor to help our child sharpen their skills.

We want to person we’re hiring to have a good head on their shoulders.

How can we find out who’s smart in a time-efficient manner?

A select group of folks from Quora chimed in – and the writer selected just one. Not only does the answer make the most logical sense, but it’s also valid from both a common-sense perspective and an empirical one.

For reference, the original question is: How can I identify the smartest person in the room?

One Timothy Emmanuel Lim wrote the answer that the writer chose to use. So, Mr. Lim, if you happen to come across this article, thank you for your incredible insights.

“Different smart people, different cues to look out for.”

To give Mr. Lim his full proper credit, and to account subsequent edits made, the response has been posted in its entirety. (Please see the edited portions in ‘3. It includes the element of humility.’)

‘Different smart people, different cues to look out for.

The smartest person (in no particular order) is most often;

  1. The hardest to verbally challenge (they may have opinions, but it’s purely derived from facts and logic).
  2. The quietest (they’re listening very closely and attentively — still water runs deep).
  3. The most observant (the little things that count are the big things to see — God is in the details).
  4. The fastest to question (and the hardest to answer).
  5. The most reserved, but not shy (because they’re constantly thinking, listening, and processing thoughts, rather than wasting time assuming and unfiltering their comments).
  6. The least reactive (because they know what to expect and not get surprised).
  7. The hardest to convince (while rebutting endlessly).
  8. The most open to question and being proved wrong (truth be above all things — including one’s ego).
  9. The most (logically) critical.
  10. The most bored-looking (not bored, just thinking about other things).
  11. The most unamused (mainly because things may get too predictable).
  12. The most direct (without being rude).
  13. The most secretly attentive (watch the eyes, it’s the greatest indicator).
  14. The most curious (not hyperactive).
  15. The most calm and controlled (rationality keeps the head calm).
  16. The most incomprehensible (some intellects are so superior, they’re too intelligent to be understood, given the right circumstances — thirties communication range).
  17. The most unorthodox (lateral thinking often proves intellectual superiority).
  18. The most receptive (open-minded).
  19. The most verbally intense.
  20. The one who looks the most dumb (circumstantial — never judge a book by its cover).
  21. The least impressed (they’re impressed by things not many people are impressed by, vice-versa).
  22. The least outwardly impressive (again, still water runs deep — they usually don’t care about other’s impressions of them).

Of course, these are some characteristics. The smartest person in the room doesn’t need to display all 22 because it can be subjective to character, personality, views, and upbringing.

The list is non-exhaustive. There are also exceptions here and there.

The smartest is not to be confused with the most knowledgeable. The two characteristics often go hand-in-hand but are independent of each other.

And smart people don’t often think of themselves as smart.

Why Lim is Right

There is a lot to unpack here, so let’s get to it.

Lim’s response makes sense for two reasons: (1) the humility with which it is written, and (2) the (probable) truth behind its assertions.

I wanted to check Mr. Lim’s credentials by reading some of his Quora posts. He does indeed craft his answers with what seems to be a piercing logic. He writes well and is extremely thorough in both his original postings and in his replies. Moreover, he cites references and is detail-oriented – two marks of a good writer. He’s most certainly of above-average intelligence, a.k.a., smart.

Most importantly, he is humble and openminded. These, too, as we will find out, are common characteristics of smart people.

I then got into the meat of Lim’s answer – and am in total agreement on just about every point. Here’s why:

  1. It mirrors a subjective experience.

Now, the writer doesn’t often consider himself the “smartest person in the room.” With all humility, the writer supposes that he’s relatively bright. He has a pretty good education and has scored around the 95th percentile on a certified I.Q. test. He doesn’t say this to be a braggart, but merely to demonstrate that he may have a unique perspective on Lim’s observations.

Throughout his life, because of the accomplishments above, he has also had to privilege to hang around incredibly smart people. A few of whom he considers his friends.

And most of them fit what Lin says to a T. They’re smart without showing it; quiet, receptive, and respectful; reserved and non-reactive; curious and openminded; humble and unassuming.

Indeed, this writer’s own subjective experience with smart people is nearly dead-on with what Lim describes. While this isn’t empirical evidence, it’s quite strong – and it’s commonsensical.

  1. The author describes introversion, which is related to high I.Q.

If you read through Mr. Lim’s list, you’ll notice that pretty much every line applies to the introvert.

Why is this important?

Because there exists a direct link between introversion and high intelligence. In a study  undertaken by researchers at University of North Georgia (USA), researchers state in the introduction “It’s (noted) that introverts may exhibit higher I.Q. scores due to their calculated and analytical predisposition because they are more prone to think through things rather than being impulsive.”

Included in the analysis were 59 female undergraduate students; 41 tested as extroverts and 18 as introverts. The introverted group “had significantly better I.Q. scores” than their extroverted counterparts.

Multiple other studies have reached a similar conclusion: introverts are (generally) smarter.

  1. It includes the element of humility, which is characteristic of smart people.

Most smart people exhibit an air of humility, and the ones that don’t aren’t the smart people you want to associate with, anyways. Mr. Lim includes two excellent quotes that typify a smart person’s attitude towards their own and others intelligence:

“I know I’m intelligent because I know that I know nothing.” — Socrates

And an even better quote to corroborate;

“The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know.” — Albert Einstein

Of Socrates, Lim adds:

“A dissection on the quote of Socrates; Socrates states that the more you know — the more aware of what you don’t know, realizing that there is only so much your mind is capable of understanding, henceforth paradoxically stating that intelligent people understand their limitations and therefore humbly acknowledges that they’re not knowledgeable (enough)…”

It should also be noted that Lim’s response includes open-mindedness, curiosity, reservation, and quietness as character traits of smart people. Such traits are often associated with humility, as well.

We could also strengthen the argument for Lin’s insights by pairing #3 with #2. We most often link humility with introverted personalities, which, as we’ve shown, links to higher intelligence.

  1. It makes sense (look at the smart people in your life, including yourself!)

Lin’s answer makes almost total sense. I say almost because it is missing what I believe to be a crucial element: a good heart. Heart intelligence is a real thing, and it is important.

So, Mr. Lim, may I suggest that you add the 23rd item to your list? Let’s keep it simple: “They have a good heart.”

Final Thoughts on Discerning a Smart Person

After you find the “smartest person in the room,” make sure they have the heart to go with it.


15 Habits A Conscientious Person Has Without Realizing It

15 Habits A Conscientious Person Has Without Realizing It

We all want to live our best, most conscientious lives, don’t we? It isn’t easy to rise above the daily stresses and challenges of life. We must each learn to overcome obstacles and realize our goals, one by one. Many of us have aspects of our personality or habits that we would like to change to improve aspects of our lives. Still, we may lack the self-discipline and resolve to make authentic, lasting changes.

What does it mean to be conscientious?

Conscientiousness is the personality trait of being deliberate and diligent. It implies a desire to do things well and to honor commitments to the self and others sincerely. Conscientiousness is a desirable character trait, for it means that you are thoughtful in your words, thoughts, and actions when living your life. While most people have some areas of their lives where they display traits of conscientiousness, it is admirable to show this kind of integrity in all aspects of life.

How do conscientious people think and act?

In general, a conscientious person applies deliberate, careful thought to all situations, from a minor position to the most significant aspects of life, and seeks to act in integrity and honesty regarding all situations. While this is a character trait that can be developed, most people who display this type of deliberate thinking have done so for some time; they were born and raised with examples of people around them living and acting in integrity. People who display conscientiousness may even have ingrained habits and patterns that they engage in that they are not even aware of; it’s simply woven into the fabric of their being.

15 Dominant Traits of a Conscientious Person

Are you conscientious? Do you apply deliberate and diligent thought and action to life’s situations? Do others find you admirable and want to be in your company in hopes of learning how to manage their lives better? Take a look at these traits of conscientiousness and see how many of them you embody, or what you must do to become one of those people that you admire.

Trait #1: Organization

A place for everything, and everything in its place. You have designed a system of organization for most things in your life, and you get slightly stressed if someone isn’t privy to your mode of stacking, storing, and measuring. If taken to the extreme, this organization can morph into obsessive-compulsive disorder or perfectionism. Along with this talent for the organization comes a need to balance it out; those socks can stay on the floor for five more minutes. Try not to have a meltdown.

Trait #2: To-do lists

If something goes on a “to do” list, you WILL achieve this goal. You cross it off with a great deal of satisfaction, knowing that you put your heart and soul into the task. And now you get to move on to the next conquest. You are a person of your word; you honor your commitments to yourself and others, and others seek you out for your dependability and responsiveness.

Trait #3: Self-discipline

You are the epitome of self-discipline. Whether your goal is to read a new self-development book, to improve an aspect of your professional life, or to lose ten pounds, you have it covered. You will find systems of success to reach each goal, and if these systems don’t yet exist, you will create them. Discipline and steadfast attention to each task allow you to enjoy the journey of accomplishment, and you stride forward with the confidence that you will find a way to meet all of your goals.

Trait #4: Best effort

When others are signing up for the half marathon, you put your name down for 26 miles. Home economics class may have meant scrambled eggs for your classmates, but you were interested in crafting a delicate and flaky quiche for your presentation. Whatever you choose to do, you give it your best effort, and if you are not adept at the skills required to accomplish a task, you’ll set about to acquire this skill set to reach your ultimate potential. Watching you achieve is a source of inspiration to others as they seek the same kind of resolve they see from you.

Trait #5: Deliberate thinking

You may be a person of few words, but they are well-chosen. You are a very deliberate thinker; when a problem is presented to you, you survey all angles before arriving at your conclusion and course of action. Being a careful thinker allows you to take action with confidence, knowing you have exhausted all possibilities and arrived at all findings before coming to a resolution. Be proud of your intellectual abilities, for a person like you is becoming increasingly harder to find.

Trait #6: Success

Being the type of person that others wish to allow you to exude a sense of confidence, which is extremely attractive. You seem to attract success like a magnet, and your humility and honesty make your station in life that much more admirable, as you don’t take your position for granted. You have earned the respect of others, and you return this in kind as you forage successful relationships. Indeed, you may even have made it your mission in life to help others achieve their goals as well; nobility and kindness look good on you. Keep up the excellent work.

Trait #7: Financially responsible

Being a person of your word is essential to you. You understand the value of obligations and expectations, and your financial affairs reflect these qualities and beliefs. You pay your bills on time, you honor your commitments to others, and you find your economic issues growing positively. As you continue to use your resources wisely, you’ll keep growing and expanding to your full potential.

Trait #8: Clean

Cleanliness and order are essential to you. Indeed, you like your surroundings and your home to reflect this value. You take pride in your home, and even if it is modest, you care for it and lovingly maintain it, knowing that as you do so, you are paving the way for more good to come to you.

Cleanliness may be a habit that is so ingrained that you don’t realize it is a part of your daily routine; dishes are always washed, the floor is always swept, and beds are always made. You’ve made the mundane fun and enjoyable; please teach the rest of us to cherish our home and create inviting spaces, no matter what we currently live in.

Trait #9: Practice self-care

A conscientious person cares about his/her body as a temple and practices self care and presentation with care as well. Clean and combed hair, clean clothing, and a polished appearance are just as important as grooming your home; you present an image of loving kindness to yourself that is inspiring to others, so keep shining in the self-care department to show others how to love and care for themselves.

Trait #10: Healthful eating

Just as you give thought to how you design your day, you give careful thought to how you design and care for your body. The practice of healthy eating is very important to you. So you shop for, prepare, and cook meals as if you were serving a king or queen. Gobbling chicken wings over the sink is not an option for you. It is time to set out the linens, light a candle, and practice mindful eating in an environment that is good for the body and the soul.

Trait #11: Organized workspaces

Regardless of the number of deadlines you have, you always seem to be able to maintain a clean workspace. Papers are filed, the desk is dusted, and your personal effects are tasteful and pleasing to look at. You have designed the ultimate space for creativity and productivity. Plus, it is a place that you look forward to going to each day as you anticipate the wonderful things you will do at work.

Trait #12: Punctuality

A conscientious person is almost always on time. If it is within their power to arrive on the dot, they will do so. Meetings, dinners, social engagements, work, play….it doesn’t matter. Being on time is part of the whole package. Of course, you can count on them to be watchful and respectful of others’ time as well.

Trait #13: Dependability

If you are conscientious, you can be trusted to do what you say you will. You will not take on more than you can handle, and that which you do take on you do to the best of your ability. Sure, you have challenges that may arise. However, you are diligent about working around them and coming up with solutions that work for all.

Trait #14: Fearless about challenges

True grit is evident here in that you don’t run from challenges—you meet them head-on. Many people who live in this kind of integrity tackle the most challenging and unpleasant aspects of life first, knowing that leisure will come later. The best part about getting your work done satisfactorily is that you can attack your entertainment with the same passion as the early day.

Trait #15: Body conscious

Your body is your temple, and it is essential to keep looking young and fit as long as possible. You have adopted a regular exercise routine, and it is a regular part of your day. As sure as the sun rises in the East, you commit to a workout each day in hopes of attaining the perfect human form….or at least your version of perfect.

Final Thoughts: Thank You if You Are One Such Conscientious Person

Deliberate life-liver, you get our respect for sucking the marrow out of life. You inspire the rest of us to live better, cleaner, more regulated lives, and for that, we thank you. We are grateful for the opportunity to see your example, that we may raise the bar and improve our quality of life.


10 Behaviors of a Person with Genuine Integrity

10 Behaviors of a Person with Genuine Integrity

Genuine integrity is rare today. Social media flaunts self-congratulatory tweets and finger-pointing posts. When you meet someone humble, honest, and kind, you take notice.

Genuine integrity has been defined as being honest with strong moral principles or uprightness. People with these qualities make a statement without trying. You want to be around them because they inspire you to be a better person yourself.

Why is integrity important?

Integrity is a person’s moral compass. It’s how you live your life. It guides you in everything you do, whether it’s in your family, faith, work, or school. If you have integrity in your life, you’ll be more peaceful and happy because you aren’t trying to be someone you’re not. Integrity helps you in life in many ways. Here is a list of some ways integrity helps you.

first impression

  • Being a guide for your life decisions-When you make decisions. Integrity will keep you from making bad decisions. You’ll follow your convictions, and they will keep you on track to make good choices.
  • Other people will trust you-You will gain others’ trust because they know you’re a truthful and trustworthy person.
  • Clear conscious– There’s nothing better than having a clear conscious. Lying, stealing, or cheating brings stress and anxiety about getting caught.
  • Opportunities to lead others-If you’ve proven yourself to have integrity, it will open opportunities to help or lead others. This isn’t because you’re a perfect person, but you have some leadership qualities that you can pass on to others. It’s an honor to help others, and having integrity allows you the chance to get involved in other’s lives.

Traits and behaviors of a person of genuine integrity

Here is a list of traits and behaviors you’ll see when you’re around a person of integrity. It’s not an exhaustive list, but a good beginning. Hopefully, this list will inspire you and enable you to take a step towards living a life of genuine integrity without fear.

  1. Humble people

People with genuine integrity are humble people. They are not arrogant and have a modest estimate of themselves. They don’t think they’re more important than others. A humble person  also does these things:

  1. Honest about their mistakes

People with genuine integrity are honest when they make mistakes. They don’t blame shift or make excuses for themselves. They admit they’re wrong and take the heat appropriately. A person with integrity does not play the victim or feel sorry for themselves. They understand that making mistakes is a very human thing to do and don’t get all bent out of shape when mistakes happen. Their honesty makes it easy for others to admit their mistakes without feeling judged.


  1. Don’t draw attention to themselves.

When you’re with a person who has genuine integrity, you may not be aware of their title or position. They don’t flaunt who they are or what they do. They treat everyone with equal respect without trying to draw attention to their achievements.  It’s refreshing to work or hang out with someone like this. They’re secure and just being themselves.

  1. Open to correction

If you correct a person with integrity, they will listen to you. They may even thank you for correcting them. They won’t get defensive or angry. They’ll admit they’re not a perfect person, and that it’s hard to hear correction. But they take real correction to heart and will evaluate themselves to see if what you’re saying is correct. Where they need to change, they will make an effort to improve.

  1. You trust them

You can trust a person of integrity. They don’t act one way sometimes then change at other times. They are consistently the same, staying dependable and steadfast. Additionally, they keep their word to you, and if they don’t, they will apologize. What you see is what you get with them, and this builds your trust in them.

  1. They’re not hypocritical.

People with integrity don’t hold you to one standard and attach themselves to another. They practice what they preach. They aren’t haughty or point their fingers at others because they think others should be like them. They’re fun people to be around because you feel like you can be yourself around them. You feel entirely accepted for who you are around them.


  1. They say sorry

Believe it or not, saying you are sorry is hard. Like the joke about not being able to even spell the word R-O-N-G (wrong), humans don’t like to admit they’re wrong.  But people with integrity aren’t afraid to say they’re sorry. Whether it’s your boss or your parent, when they agree they are wrong is a true sign that they are a genuinely real person.

  1. They take responsibility

People with genuine integrity are refreshingly candid about their mistakes. They don’t defend themselves or attempt to minimize what happened. They don’t play the victim card, getting all moody about what they’ve done. People with integrity also show maturity and the ability to own up to stuff without a major meltdown or revengeful attitude.

  1. A person with integrity wants to grow and change.

They listen to others because they want to learn and change. And they love to learn no matter how old they are. They don’t need to surround themselves with people like themselves because they’re comfortable in their skin. Moreover, they can listen to new ideas without being intimidated.  People with integrity like to learn from other people because they know they don’t know everything. They have a thirst for learning and growing in every season of life.

  1. They can laugh at themselves.

People who have genuine integrity aren’t afraid of joking around. They don’t mind when you poke fun at them. They’re able to tease you back but not in a vindictive, angry way. They have an agreeable ability to laugh at themselves because they aren’t too proud to make fun of themselves. This kind of person has a good sense of humor but would never make fun of someone in a hurtful manner. They don’t use humor that is cutting or divisive.

How to become a person with genuine integrity

If you have genuine integrity, you live by your convictions and doing what’s right not because you want anyone to acknowledge you for it, but because it’s important to you. You’re true to yourself,  even when other people don’t understand or make fun of you for it.

Here are some examples of ways to become a person of integrity in your daily life:

  • Try to keep your promises even if you need to make sacrifices to keep them.
  • Don’t gossip about people
  • Be faithful in small things and big things
  • Don’t spread secrets about people
  • If you find something that doesn’t belong to you, look for the owner
  • Be willing to take the blame for things you do
  • At work, don’t take extra breaks
  • Respect your co-workers, boss, and other workers
  • Treat others the way you want to be treated
  • Don’t steal items like pens, paper, or other materials from work
  • Be a good team player
  • Acknowledge other people’s achievements
  • Don’t compromise on work; do the entire job required by your boss or company.

Final Thoughts on Leading a Life Filled with Integrity

The world needs people of genuine integrity.  Honesty, trustworthiness, and humility never go out of style. These people inspire and challenge us to led better lives. Today, it’s trendy to mock people with integrity. In movies and television shows, they’re the annoying, peculiar person who is no fun to be around.

Of course, in real life, these people with genuine integrity aren’t like that. If you want to have more integrity in your life, don’t worry about what others think about you. You can begin to live a life that demonstrates real integrity today and enjoy the rewards of knowing you are following our convictions, not what others think about you.


15 Online Dating Rules Every Person Should Know »

15 Online Dating Rules Every Person Should Know »

Online dating has become a way to meet new people.

Virtual dating platforms receive high praise from the individuals that have met and married from using their site. However, what they don’t tell you is all the people that they remove daily for fraudulent accounts and catfishing.

If you have little social interaction in your life, then the online world opens a wide variety of options. When you don’t have an abundance of fish in the sea where you live, the ocean is swarming with potential guppies online. How can you be safe, yet give yourself the chance to meet someone amazing?

There are some basic rules and etiquette that you should follow when online dating. Done right, using these virtual dating apps can help you meet Mr. or Miss Right, but you need to be careful.

Here Are 15 Online Dating Rules Every Single Person Needs to Know

1. Be on Guard

While most people on these online dating sites are like you, there are always a few bad apples that spoil the whole bunch. Catfishing is a genuine problem on these sites, and the best way to avoid it is to not get swept into the web of deceit.

There are plenty of online scammers that prey on vulnerable people. If someone tells you they are in the military and are stationed in a foreign land, be careful. Also, if anyone starts off their story that they’re a widow with a child in a boarding school, just go ahead and block them.

Virtual dating is a great way for people of all ages to meet others, but it’s a great way for scammers to make some money. Don’t be the next victim, no matter how good the story.

2. Never Meet Someone Unless You’ve Talked for More Than Two Weeks

There’s a little back and forth about how long a person should “text date” before they meet. You don’t want to get into a situation where you only have a person that will text. You need to call and meet in person.

Allow at least a couple of weeks to go by before you schedule that in-person meeting. Two weeks is plenty of time to see if anything alarming comes up. You don’t want a text-only situation.

3. Always Do a Little Snooping

Before giving away your heart, you need to do a little digging. If they’re a real person, then they have a social media account. At least get their full name and then look them up in the city where they live.

Thanks to Google, you can’t hide anywhere these days. Do a bit of research before meeting them in person. Sadly, this could be someone else’s husband or wife you’re talking too.

4. Never Send Cash

Never, under any circumstances, send cash to anyone. Additionally, don’t send i-Tune gift cards or any other gifts they want. These are scammers, and your relationship is built on lies. They will lure in your heart and use you for every dime you have.

5. If They Seem Too Good to Be True, Then It’s a Lie

If it seems like you’ve met the perfect person, be leery. There is no such thing as perfection in human beings. If they look too good, their story is unbelievable, and they seem to want the same things as you, then be careful.

6. Use an Image Locator to Verify Their Pictures

Catfishing is so frequent these days that you must protect yourself at all costs. Get pictures and run them through Google’s image locator. If they took someone else’s photo from social media or anywhere else on the web, then this tool will identify them. Don’t believe everything you see or hear until you’ve met in person.

7. Video Chat Before Meeting in Person

It’s exciting to meet that special person that you’ve been talking too. However, before you make a date and schedule the place, you should video chat at least once. Video chatting takes away a little bit of the element of surprise.

You can see them face-to-face and make sure that what they say is true. If they’re using old or fake pictures, then they won’t want to have such a chat. However, if they have nothing to hide, then they will welcome it.

Read ten fun ways to make your Zoom calls to friends and family more engaging.

8. Ask Personal Identifying Questions

While you don’t want to get too personal, like asking how much money they make, don’t be afraid to ask a few identifying questions. You don’t want your whole conversation to be in generalities.

To get to know someone, you need to know about their family and if their parents are still alive. Plus, these questions will help you to establish if they’re real or a scammer.

9. Don’t Use Old Pictures

If you expect the other person to be upfront and honest, then you must do the same. Make sure that you only use current pictures on your profile. While you may want to show them pictures of days gone by later, make sure your profile is accurate in how you look today.

10. Be 100 Percent Honest

Don’t put anything on your profile that could come back to bite you later. Make sure everything you write is 100 percent honest. Don’t put that you’re a chef when you’re a grill cook at a fast-food restaurant.

Many little white lies may come back to haunt you if you develop a relationship with this person. People feel free to embellish their attributes a bit when they’re hiding behind a virtual platform.

11. Don’t Share Anything Too Personal at First

When you first meet, you don’t want to give them too many details of your life. Please don’t share the names of your kids, where they go to school, or the name of your ex. These details can be used against you or to help with a scam.

Any identifying information should be reserved for conversations at a later date. Please stick to your basics, and leave everyone else out of it.

Safety experts explain why sharing photos of your children can endanger them.

12. Always Meet in a Public Place

The online dating world is full of people that want to hook up for one-night stands. You can identify these people quickly. However, even if you agree to such an event, make sure you first meet in a public place.

So many people get hurt physically while using virtual dating apps, and you want to make sure that safety is a priority. Let someone know where you will be and who you will be with, as it can help should there be an incident.

13. Use Proper Grammar in Your Communication

You want to use proper etiquette when dealing with the online dating world. While it may be cute to use abbreviations and emojis, try to stick to proper grammar and talk like an adult. You can loosen up a bit once you’ve been talking for a while, but you want the person or people you’re interested in to at least think you know how to have a civilized conversation.

14. Don’t Be Too Quick to Add Them as Friends To Social Media Platforms

Social media platforms are all the rage these days, and you may be eager to add people to your list. You can never be too careful. Once you add them as friends, you are letting them into your inner circle of information. Remember, they can post things to your wall and see something that you may not want them to see.

It would be best if you had been on a couple of dates before considering adding them to your social media accounts.

15. Avoid Fiery Topics

Finally, there are two topics that you want to avoid initially, which are religion and politics. These are very private and sore subjects to discuss, and you don’t want to come out of the gate with such controversial subjects. If they bring them up, then it’s giving you the green light for talking about these things, but you should never discuss them unless they seem okay with it.

Avoid virtual arguments and debates over religion and politics as it’s not worth your time. You shouldn’t care what some random person in the online dating world thinks about such things. The only time it affects you is if you decide to take the next step.

Final Thoughts on Trying These Online Dating Rules

Online dating has become the best way to meet people with American’s busy lives. While you may want to talk to that guy or gal from a foreign land, try to stick within a certain distance of your home. The chances of meetings someone real are better when you are shopping within a 100-mile radius.

Make sure you read through their entire profile before chatting. Don’t be afraid to tell them precisely what you’re looking for, and don’t leave out any details. You want this person to want the same things and like you for who you are, not what you tell them.

In the online dating world, honesty is still the best policy. Try to have fun and mingle a bit. Every person you talk to isn’t going to end up in a face-to-face encounter, but you can have fun just mingling with new people.


12 Actions a Person With a Hidden Agenda Displays Before Revealing Themselves

12 Actions a Person With a Hidden Agenda Displays Before

We’ve all had at least one toxic person in our professional and private lives over the years. They may be relatives, friends, or coworkers who subtly weave you into their personal agenda.

It may take months or even years before you realize what this individual is doing behind the scenes. Not all manipulative people are inherently evil. Some are conditioned at an early age to believe that the world owes them something, and people are in their lives for their advantage.

On the other hand, just because someone is a good person doesn’t mean your chemistry isn’t toxic. Wouldn’t it be nice if you had an invisible truth detector that could reveal everyone who lies and only wants to use you?

Just think of all the frustration and heartache it would have saved you over the years. Unfortunately, there’s no such machine, and you must rely on well-honed instinct and intuition to detect selfish agendas.

The motives behind some manipulative people may be evident to you, and you can easily break ties. Others can craftily wrap you into a web of guilt and a false sense of responsibility to them, and they influence your thinking. They eventually snare you into a burdensome relationship that does nothing but benefit themselves.

Red Flags Someone Has a Hidden Agenda

How can you discern a toxic person before you become an unwilling participant in his sordid agenda? You can’t always avoid being burned in a personal or professional relationship, but some red flags are detectible. Here are 12 actions a person with a hidden agenda displays before revealing themselves.

1. He Triggers Gut Feelings

Your powers of intuition are just as vital as your reasoning and reaction skills. While we all have it, some learn to improve their intuitive gifts. Sorting out manipulative people requires you to trust your gut feelings.

Have you ever been around somebody and just felt that something was off? He may seem perfectly pleasant and accommodating, but you still don’t resonate with his personality. Be wise and watch for other warning signs that this person may not be as he seems.

2. You Catch Her in Lies

Nobody is above telling a little white lie to protect themselves or someone else, and we learn the deceptive art at an early age. However, consistent lying becomes a character flaw that can be detrimental to personal or professional relationships. There is no bond without trust and honesty.

A toxic person will often tell lies about the most senseless subjects. Does she create big whoppers about his past, career, or his abilities? If she is lying is so apparent about common issues, what other deceptions is she feeding you?

The perfect way for you to know that a person is lying to you is eye contact and body language. Most people can’t maintain good eye contact and seem awkward when they are deceptive. However, beware of pathological liars who show no signs and are so believable, they often deceive themselves.

toxic relationship3. She Talks About Her Favorite Subject: Herself

What can be more frustrating than to be stuck in a conversation with an egomaniac? Healthy dialogue is like a game of tennis, where the discussion volleys smoothly from one side to the other. If a person in your life continually monopolizes conversations, take note of it.

Narcissistic people secretly battle low self-esteem and fear, so they are compelled to stay in the limelight and belittle any perceived competition. You know the type, no matter what you know or have done, she can one-up you. If all she can talk about it herself, be assured that her agenda is just as selfish.

4. He Is on a Mission

How many times have you worked with a colleague on a project and saw that he wanted to ride your coat tails to success? Maybe you met a guy who seemed really into you until he hinted that you introduce him to your best friend? These manipulative people have a mission, and you are only a tool for their accomplishments.

You can often tell these self-interested ones within one or two conversations. Your new best friend may be working out fine until she gives you a stack of sale catalogs for products she represents. Fortunately, agendas like these are self-evident, and you can cut ties early before they become a problem.

5. You Observe Signs of Hypocrisy

When a person has a deep conviction about something, it remains true regardless of the company and situation. For example, how would you feel about a guy who says he values honesty, yet he didn’t pay for the desserts the server accidentally forgot on the bill on your last date.

It has been said that a person shows his real character when he thinks no one is watching or listening, if they don’t, then they are a hypocrite. Does the individual in your personal or professional relationship preach one set of values and practice another? If so, his benefits may be skewed, and his plan may not be one you appreciate.

6. He Is Obsessive About a Subject

Often, the thoughts and desires we keep hidden from our partners will manifest itself in other areas. However, some people are so preoccupied with personal gain that they discuss it obsessively. You may not need to do much research to get the hint.

What if you are in a romantic relationship, and you’ve created goals as a couple? Maybe you agreed that you would keep working after you got married. Wouldn’t you feel a little concerned if he kept suggesting that you will quit your job and stay at home soon?

Coworkers can also be visible when they want to use others to vie for higher positions and salaries. Listen to his conversations in the office and the break room. If his discussions are one-sided and manipulative, don’t get caught in his wave of self-promotion.

7. He Has a History of Being a Manipulator

Of course, we’ve all done things we weren’t proud of in the past. Some people learn from their mistakes, while others turn them into a lifetime of bad habits. As they say, love may be blind, but hindsight is twenty-twenty.

It pays you to notice patterns in your love interest’s life. Has he been married more times than a movie star? Have his past relationships been broken because he cheated, yet he swears he will be faithful to you? These are all classic signs that you need to watch as their manipulative tendencies could have caused this pattern.

honest person8. She’s Letting Anxiety Get the Best of Her

Women tend to let their anxiety show more than men, though that isn’t always the case. If you notice that she is showing signs of anxiety, such as dizziness, sweating, unable to sit still, and panicking, then it could be that she is toying with revealing a hidden agenda. She is, no doubt, nervous about how people will react to her plot being brought to the forefront.

9. You’ve Noticed His Body Language is Off

You can tell a lot from someone’s body language. If a hidden ploy is coming to light, then the body language might be forth-telling. If they are excited about the plan being exposed for their gain, then they may be giddy with excitement.

However, if they are nervous about their plot coming out, then they may be angry, irritable, grouchy, and quiet. Watch his body language because it can tell you more about the manipulator than anything that comes out of his mouth.

10. He Is Being Super Secretive

There’s an old saying that states that anything done in secret will always come out. If he has something that he is hiding, there is a reason for his secretive nature. It’s often his toxic intentions that are not ready to be exposed.

If you notice that he is secretive about everything in his life, or he takes his phone in the other room to avoid you hearing the conversation, then somethings up.

11. She Is a Bit on Edge

Oversized reactions are common when someone has a hidden agenda. Some may say these reactions are caused by their anxiety, kicking up as the body is going into that fight or flight response.

However, others may say that the real reason your friend is on edge is that they can become emotional at anything that derails their plans. It can also be that their apparent use of emotions serves as an attempt to shut down discussion in resistance to their goal.

12. Her Stories Don’t Add Up

It’s often the case that many people will start seeing the holes in a story long before the truth about a plot comes out. If you add the components together and find inconsistencies, it could be forth-telling about the big reveal.

You don’t want to accuse your friend because of a couple of discrepancies, but if you find that things don’t make sense, trust your gut feeling.

Final Thoughts on Detecting a Person with a Secret Agenda

It’s often the case that many people already know that something is off before anything is revealed in their toxic relationship. Always trust your gut instincts as they are there to protect you.

If you are genuinely caught off guard and had no clue what was happening, then you can use these red flags to keep you from getting into a situation like that again.


10 Behaviors That Reveal a Bitter Person »

10 Behaviors That Reveal a Bitter Person »

Bitter people are hard to live with; they lash out at everyone around them. People wonder how to spot bitterness. So, what are ten behaviors that reveal a bitter person? And how do you cope with them?

It’s easy to spot a bitter person once you learn their tell-tale poor behaviors.

10 Red Flags of A Negative and Bitter Person

1 – Lack gratefulness

Bitter people feel cheated by life. Even if they have a great experience, they won’t express gratitude. The glass is always half-empty. They will not express thanks for their family or friends, their home, or their job because there’s still something wrong with each of these things. Something or someone has disappointed them, and that looms larger than their blessings.

How to cope with an ungrateful person:

Remember, this person isn’t a terrible person. Instead, they feel overloaded with emotions they can’t unravel. Kindness and patience will make them feel like you are a real friend.

bitter person

2 – Cynical

Cynicism is mistrust and suspicion. You can’t make a bitter person happy. In their eyes, you’ll  fall short in doing what they “expected.” They will say something like, “I’m not surprised; it’s what people always do to me.” They’re like a dark cloud on a sunny day. Their cynicism overshadows everything they do and say.

How to cope with the cynic in your life:

It may take your bitter friend or colleague a while to trust you. They may even push you away at first, but be persistent. Don’t let their bitterness pull you down, stand firm in who you are. Your bitter friend no doubt has suffered, and they’re lashing out. So, be emphatic towards them without being drawn into their bitterness.

3 –  Bitter people hold a grudge

It’s normal for you to have a misunderstanding with someone, but you can work it out and then let it go. You don’t hold grudges. Even if you can’t agree on a solution, you’ll let it go since you don’t want to spend your time or energy holding on to a grudge. But bitter people can’t let go of things. They become obsessed with their grudges and the people who have wronged them.

How to cope with resentful feelings of others:

Don’t agree with their assessment of other people. If they want to vent their anger, tell them you disagree in a kind but firm voice.  Show them you aren’t entering into their bitterness trap.

4 – Jealousy

Bitter people are jealous of others who they perceive are getting what they deserve.

 Studies found that your emotions influence your judgment. Participants were first made to feel love, then asked to rate different candies and chocolate as sweet or bitter. The participants who felt love rated the candies and chocolates as very sweet. But the participants who experienced jealousy said the candy and chocolate were less pleasing.

Bitterness influences a person’s perception. They become jealous when their friends or co-workers talk about a recent success, a new home, or their promotion. They can’t stand it that others receive things they want or think they should have.

How to cope:

It’s not a good idea to share personal things with a bitter person. Their jealousy will turn into gossiping about you to others, putting you in a bad light. Keep your conversations shallow and upbeat.

bitter person

5 – They are vocal about their bitterness

Bitter people aren’t private about their anger. They let everyone know that their life is unfair. They’re looking for someone to agree with them so they can justify their feelings. Their bitterness spills out onto others, like acid tainting anyone’s good mood. Working with a bitter person is exhausting because they suck all the life out of you by continually complaining and bemoaning their lot in life.

How to cope:

Don’t get dragged into their bitterness rant. If the person has become more of a friend to you when you are alone with them, bring up to them how they sound, their propensity to be angry and bitter. It could be that no one has ever pointed this out to them and shared it humanely.

6 – Blame shifting

A bitter person blames others for their circumstances rather than accept responsibility. They will set themselves up as the “ideal worker” or “ideal parent.”

Others will be the ones who have caused problems at work or ruined their kids, but not the bitter person.

They have no responsibility because they feel like the victim. Indeed, they are the sufferer (in their minds). Also, this person won’t take responsibility for their angry, bitter emotions. They justify their blame-shifting with abusive language.

They’ll say things like, “I wouldn’t have to do this if she did her job!” or “She made me so mad I could have hit her.”

One study found that people who blame shift want to save face, to conceal their role.

How to cope with a person who refuses to accept accountability:

Refuse to accept the blame, stand your ground in an emphatic voice and manner. Don’t get dragged into their blame-shifting of others either.

7 – Irritable and annoyed

Bitter people always find something to complain about. Something or someone annoys them. Nothing is ever right in their life. They’ll complain about people at work, their family and people at stores.

In their minds, their co-workers aren’t doing their jobs, and their kids aren’t working hard enough at school, and clerks at the store aren’t competent. Irritation and annoyance is a daily emotion for a bitter person.

How to cope:

You’ll notice what triggers a bitter person’s annoyance and irritation. You may need to avoid doing things that irritate them within reason. Some people can’t stand being joked with or teasing. But don’t be afraid of a bitter person, but if you know something pushes their buttons, try to refrain from doing it.

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8 – Won’t like it if you’re positive and cheerful

If you try to cheer up a bitter person, be ready for a backlash. Angry people find cheerful, positive people irritating. Your positivity casts a light on their anger and resentment. They don’t want to own these emotions so that they will react.

They’ll ignore you or spew gossip about you to others. You’ve trod on their bitter turf, and they don’t like it. They may gossip about you to feel better about themselves. Angry people want to squash your happiness. It’s a form of manipulation to get you to be like them.

How to cope:

A bitter person needs to see that not everyone is like them. They need someone to stand up to them. Even if they don’t like cheerfulness or positivity, it is affecting them. Be positive, and don’t feel bad about it. Your identity isn’t in the bitter person’s opinion of you. If they don’t like you or gossip about you, let it roll off your shoulders. They’re miserable, but you don’t need to be.

9 – Can’t congratulate others

Bitter people find it hard to tell someone they’re doing a good job unless they are seeking approval. They do have their moments of being sweet to people they want to impress. They will often go out of their way to acknowledge a boss. But people they see as less important are worthless to them, so they will rarely admit good work or accomplishments.

How to cope with someone who cannot (or will not) celebrate your victories:

Don’t try to balance out your bitter friend’s destructive emotions. If you have a good relationship, point out your angry friend’s lack of congratulation or being happy for others. Often, they don’t realize how they come across because no one has ventured into their bitterness to point out the truth to them.

10 –  Bitter people make sweeping assumptions

A bitter person’s irritations and anger display hostility. They make generalizations about people and situations, lumping everyone together. They carry prejudices, judge others, and cast themselves in an excellent light.

Studies show that such anger and hostility that a bitter person holds can affect their health. Doctors found those who are anger and aggressiveness could cause heart problems, diabetes, car accidents, or bulimia.

How to cope with people who make inaccurate assumptions:

Be emphatic without being drawn in. When they try to lump you into their generalization, gently point out you’re not that way. Be light-hearted with them, even joking in a self-deprecating way. If they drop their guard and show some vulnerability to you, share your concern for their health. Tell them they need help to control their anger because it’ll destroy them.

angry partner

Final Thoughts on Identifying and Dealing with a Bitter Person

It’s hard to deal with a bitter person. You don’t want to be around them because their bitterness overshadows goodness in the day. They’re often blinded to their own emotions, maybe they’ve experienced deep hurt in their lives, and they’re angry about it.

Strangely, bitter people often attract cheerful people who want to help them. It’s not easy to be emphatic towards an angry person. Their bitterness is contagious. But you can be emphatic without agreeing with them.

Stand your ground, but show them kindness. It may feel like you’re hugging a cactus because of their angry barbs at you. Stay positive and when they see you are their friend, find ways to have more in-depth conversations with them. Share your concerns for them, and point out things they say and do that hurt them.

Be careful. Bitterness is contagious. Don’t get bitten by their venom, so you’re drawn into becoming a bitter person yourself.


12 Traits of a Genuinely Honest Person 

12 Traits of a Genuinely Honest Person 

Ben Franklin coined the phrase, “Honesty is the best policy.” Back in Ben’s day, honesty was important in relationships. It’s no different today. Truth-telling is important. You may wonder how to tell if someone is telling the truth or lying. So, what are the behaviors and traits of a genuinely honest person?

Here’s why we have trouble pinpointing them. Everyone lies.

Even if you say you’re an honest person, you probably lie every day without realizing it. If a friend buys you lunch and asks if you enjoyed the meal, you might say yes out of a desire to save the person’s feelings even though your food was cold and tasteless.  On average, you get lied to 200 times a day. One study found that 40% of adults said they fib at least once a day, usually in small ways.

12 Behaviors of an Honest Person

1. Drops the profanity

You may have heard that the use of profanity means a person is honestly expressing their thoughts and opinions. In fact, politicians who believed this began using more profanity in hopes of appearing honest. Curious about this premise, researchers conducted a study to find out if it was true. They found that, in fact, the opposite is exact. Sincere people tend to use less profanity, not more. Honest people don’t need profanity to make their point or to convince you they’re being honest. They’re just honest.

2. Won’t use the word, “honestly”

If you’re talking with a person who peppers their conversations with “honestly” or “to tell you the truth,” they’re lying to you. This phrase may appear as being candid or straightforward, but it’s a dead give away of being dishonest.  Liars also use phrases like “to be perfectly honest” or “let me be honest with you,” to convince their listener they’re sincere. This kind of qualifying language discredits the speaker and reveals their deceit.

3. Gestures correctly

Dishonest people tend to gesture AFTER they speak instead of during or before they talk. Everyone uses gestures, it’s reasonable to gesture while you’re talking. But when someone gestures at the wrong time, it’s a sign of deception. It’s as if the person is making up the answer as they go along, and their gesturing can’t keep up with their words.  Honest people gesture in the right way and at the right time for emphasis, not because they are lying to you.

4. Normal voice tone

Liars change their voice tones in conversations. They may get louder as they talk. The more they talk, the louder they will get. Or they will lower their voice as if they’re telling you something in confidence. It’s as if the person feels defensive, and their pitch is revealing this to you as they continue to lie. It’s a dead giveaway when someone does this, so don’t believe them. You can spot an honest person in conversations because their voice will be consistent throughout the discussion.


5. Blinks normally

It’s thought that a person who is lying to you blinks more often and has longer blinks than a person who is telling the truth. Changes in their blinking patterns are also a sign of lying. This subtle clue is worth watching while you’re in conversations. It’s a pretty clear indicator the person isn’t being honest with you.

6. No throat clearing

Honest people use a normal voice tone without constant throat clearing or hard swallowing before they answer. A person who continually clears their throat before he answers your question, he is probably lying to you. He’s probably feeling anxious about lying, and this may cause his throat to feel dry out, so he needs to cough or clear his voice to talk.

7. Mouth looks normal

Honest people hold their mouths regularly during conversations with you. A dishonest person purses their lips or tenses their mouth while in chat. They may give you a fake smile or a half-smile. A real smile involves the eyes, not just the mouth. When a person smiles, there are wrinkles at the edge of their eyes, called crow’s feet, that will appear. A person who is fake smiling smiles only with their mouth, not their eyes.

8. Movements are natural

Non-verbal clues are often the best way to tell if someone is lying to you. If the person you’re talking to shuffles their feet or moves around in their chair or fidgets with the clothes, there’s a good chance they’re lying to you. But a liar may also become unnaturally stiff, freezing their upper body movements. In general, unnatural movements being either too stiff or too busy, are indications a person is lying to you.

stay calm
Learn how to stay calm during an argument (even when you don’t feel it).

9. Pupils aren’t dilated

It’s often thought that when someone doesn’t look you in the eyes, they’re lying. But studies show that looking either to the left or right isn’t necessarily a sign of lying. Liars will look at you too much. Practiced liars maintain eye contact with a type of stare-down ability. When they do this, the pupils of their eyes will dilate, indicating they’re not being truthful.

10. An honest person looks relaxed, not moving too much or too little

If you’re in a conversation with someone who is lying, they will often wiggle or tap their feet nervously. Honest people are calm. They don’t shuffle their feet to distract you or out of nervousness. They’ve nothing to hide, so they aren’t worried you’ll find out they’re lying to you.

11. Uses non-formal language

Liars use formal language to cover up their lies. Saying, “I did not commit a crime,” instead of “I didn’t do it,” tells you that the person is working hard to cover up their lie. Liars use this formal way of answering questions to try to appear sincere and truthful. Honest people use ordinary, everyday language when they answer questions because they don’t have anything to hide.

12. Doesn’t give you too much information

When a person is lying to you, they’ll often repeat your questions back to you. They’ll give you lots of unnecessary details as if to overload you with information to deflect their lies. These are subtle but clear clues the person isn’t being honest with you. They’re stalling, trying to come up with an answer they think you will believe. It’s a classic indication of lying.

Final Thoughts on Identifying When You’re Dealing with an Honest Person

Figuring out if someone is an honest person isn’t simple. Many gestures get misunderstood as lying when the person is just nervous. It takes practice and the ability to get to know the person to understand whether they’re lying to you. Ask lots of questions, probe into what they’re saying to you. Look for inconsistent patterns in their speech, nodding yes when they say “no.”

Also, look at their attitudes and subtle movements. If someone is co-operative and ready to work with you to help you to get the truth, that’s a pretty good indication they’re being honest with you. They’ll be willing to share their ideas or brainstorm or provide details to solve the problem. Clear indicators that the person you’re talking to is lying will include looking down frequently, pausing, or being withdrawn, unnecessary head shakes, or shrugging.


18 Traits Of A Truly Mature Person

18 Traits Of A Truly Mature Person

Many people strive to show maturity. It involves a level of wisdom, intelligence, and emotional awareness. But, surprisingly, being a mature person doesn’t have all that much to do with age!

Maturity is a valuable trait, and it’s one that you can learn slowly by incorporating certain habits into your life. Here are 18 characteristics of a truly mature person.

18 Traits a Mature Person Displays

1.    Kindness and Consideration

Someone mature is often compassionate, as compassion is an indication that you are capable of placing other people’s interests in front of yours. This trait means that you can:

  • Celebrate the successes of others without jealousy
  • Learn how to sacrifice in moderation for the betterment of others
  • Take an interest in the wellbeing of others

mature person

2.    Maintaining Commitments

Delayed gratification is difficult for anyone who isn’t mature. You need to focus on meeting commitments, even when those commitments may no longer be impressive for you. Here are some examples of engagement found in mature people:

·         Meeting Deadlines

A committed person ensures that their work is completed and sent on time or sooner, even if they don’t have the motivation to do it.

·         Keeping Promises

Another way to be mature is by honoring your word. If there is someone you promised to meet, make sure you meet them or give them a heads up and proper explanation if you are unable to do so.

·         Being Consistent

When taking on commitments, more often than not, they are marathons rather than sprints. This accountability means you need to keep a consistent pace and focus on steady progress over hurrying forward until your passion dies.

3.    Emotional Control

Maturity involves reasonable emotional control. Someone who is mature will not be quick to anger, projecting a positive demeanor. This outcome is done by:

·         Being Cool

You will be able to appear relaxed and calm if you can control your emotions, and others around you will instinctively relax, too. It’s a prime mark of maturity.

·         Having A Solid Emotional Foundation

Mature individuals have an emotional strength that provides a good foundation for their positive thinking. This means they are less likely to be overwhelmed by too-strong feelings, preventing destructive tendencies.

·         Not Allowing Anger To Control You

A mature person is in full control of their anger. Though some things can still take them by surprise, they will likely not be easily irritated or discouraged by setbacks.

dr phil quote

4.    Being Guided By Principle

Principles can help guide an individual in their maturity. The values your principles hold can help point you towards living an honorable and respectable life. Having beliefs helps you with:

  • Being more proactive instead of reactive as you progress through life
  • Mastering your emotions
  • Making decisions, you can be happy with

5.    Modesty and Humility

Modesty and humility are often associated with maturity. Your humility allows you to put yourself on the same level as others and understand them better. This means you:

  • Do not let success cloud your judgment and personality
  • Will always treat others with respect regardless of their social standing
  • Will not place yourself on a higher level than to others

6.    Applying Knowledge

Maturity often links with intelligence, and intelligence is often associated with the ability to learn from past experiences. A mature person is someone that implements their expertise in everything they do.  For example:

  • They have an awareness of themselves as well as their surroundings
  • These people can make informed decisions based on the situation at hand
  • They often have positive thinking and avoid excessive complaining in bad situations

7.    Self-Management

Self-management is an essential trait for maturity. Being mature means having the capacity to manage your own life in a self-sufficient manner, under your ability. This involves:

  • Being able to ask for help in a positive way when needed, without playing the victim
  • Having the ability to collaborate mutually with others to complete a task
  • Ensuring that they complete tasks and commitments on time

8.    Taking Responsibility

All choices come with consequences, and as a mature person, you should be able to take responsibility for your decisions. This means taking accountability with positive thinking when you are even partially responsible for difficult situations.

But taking responsibility isn’t just about righting your wrongs – it’s also about being responsible for yourself and for those you commit to. All in all, maturity can involve:

  • Ensuring you are looking after your physical and mental wellbeing
  • Dealing with the positive results or negative consequences that come with your actions
  • Not shifting blames onto others

9.    Never Taking Advantage Of Others

A mature individual does not let being in a position of power cloud their judgment. They do not take advantage of others, even when it would be effortless for them to do so. As a person with a higher position, a mature person will:

  • Listen to the opinions of others and consider them instead of going on a power trip
  • Realize that their perspectives are not sufficient, as that they are a part of a broader world
  • Learn from others, no matter their position
  • Never control the people around them into doing things against their will
Don’t allow emotional blackmail be part of your life.

10. Ignorance of Unimportant Criticism and Flattery

Being mature means being able to accept the opinions of others and learn from them. This open-mindedness is because maturity allows you to realize that things are not merely black and white, and nothing is as positive or negative as you may initially believe. The world simply doesn’t work like that!

Mature people don’t allow criticism, flattery, or compliments to sway them because they know that all these issues are subjective and based on individual and unique opinions. They will take constructive critique into account, of course, and will express gratitude for compliments, but they will not allow those things to rule them.

11. Enjoying Themselves

A lot of people incorrectly believe that maturity directly equates to being bland, boring, or continuously neutral. But that’s not true! Mature people know how to have fun and enjoy themselves. They understand that unwinding is necessary. This means that guilt-free, knowledgeable people:

  • Take time out of their schedules to enjoy their hobbies
  • Understand when they need to rest
  • Do not fully book their time with work

12. Self-Acceptance

It is not easy to accept yourself as you are, especially when others keep telling you that you should change. But when you are mature, you embrace who you are, and you are confident about yourself. You will feel comfortable with yourself instead of feeling inferior and wanting to please others by being someone you are not.

There is power in accepting yourself, complete with all your flaws and strengths. A mature person does not only obsess over their faults, instead embraces them and allows their appreciation of their intricacies to drive them to improve themselves and change for the better.

This doesn’t mean that mature people are full of themselves. It merely means that they are confident in their skin and accept themselves as they are. They have no interest in changing who they are to better fit in or make others happy.

13. Knowing Limits

Knowing your limits is a clear sign of maturity. Considering the potential risks associated with your actions and how they may affect you is a mark of a mature trait. This helps in decision making so that you can avoid situations where you bite off more than you can chew. This means they:

  • They are innovative, but they’ll never force their ideas onto others
  • Are daring, but are still cautious and do not endanger themselves or others
  • Do not take unnecessary risks

14. Open-Mindedness

A mature individual is open to looking at things from different perspectives. They strive to understand others and would never judge the people around them based on external factors or first impressions. Open-minded individuals:

  • Do not label others
  • Do not automatically exclude people who they don’t understand
  • Try to see where others are coming from
  • Strive to bridge the gap between different groups of people
  • Do not try to apply their perspectives to others

15. Looking Before Leaping

A mature individual would never claim to have all the answers, and that’s why they choose wisdom and forethought over jumping headfirst into all situations. This isn’t to say they aren’t game for risks or adrenaline-pumping events, but it does mean that in cases where that isn’t necessary, they see no point in acting without thinking.

Mature individuals may also consult those with more knowledge before jumping into new pursuits. This means mature people, as they love pursuing further information, are always asking questions – and they are never ashamed of where they get their knowledge from. They would also never claim to know everything, though they will happily share what they know with those who ask.

16. Knowing You Don’t Know everything

Here’s a simple fact – and this ties in nicely to our previous point! – no one knows everything. A mature person can easily accept that fact and is not interested in changing that. Instead, they focus on setting aside their pride and having the willingness to learn from just about anyone, even those who could be perceived as less knowledgeable.

17. Never Using Emotional Blackmail

Excellent and honest communication is a vital skill that every mature individual possesses. A mature person will never resort to using emotional blackmail when expressing their needs to others. Mature people can:

  • Be assertive with their communication
  • Convey authority in their words without sounding overly forceful
  • Be direct and convey all necessary information to others without beating around the book

18. Gratitude

Mature people are always able to find goodness in their life and be grateful for what they have. Armed with the knowledge that there are many other less fortunate individuals in the world, mature people are thankful for what they were born with and for all they can achieve.

As a mature person, you need to learn not to take things for granted. Instead of complaining about what you don’t have, instead, be grateful for what you do have and keep that positive thinking going!

mature personFinal Thoughts On Some Traits Of A Truly Mature Person

Anyone of any age can be mature. The only thing mature people have in common is their kind, smart, open-minded traits, and with this list of 18 of them, you can begin your path to true maturity.