Relationships

In a relationship, nagging usually doesn’t accomplish anything except making both partners distance themselves from each other. Therapists agree that it is something that can tear a relationship apart.

Sally Connolly, LCSW, LMFT, a therapist with over 30 years of experience, says the following about this behavior:

“Nagging, or making the same request over and over again, usually does not get the desired result. Instead, it generally leads to a downward spiral with negative thoughts and feelings about each other and withdrawing, feeling discounted, misunderstood, controlled or unimportant.”

If you find yourself in a continuous cycle of pestering your partner about the same things, you can be doing more harm than good. You may not even realize the damage it’s doing until it’s too late.

15 Ways That Nagging Can Cause Hard Feelings in a Relationship

Here are 15 ways that, according to therapists, nagging can harm your relationship.

1. Your partner feels like you aren’t listening to them.

At some point and time, your partner may have revealed to you why they won’t do whatever it is you keep bugging them about. Maybe you didn’t agree, or perhaps you forgot. Either way, your partner will feel like you just aren’t listening to how they think about a particular situation. When a person feels like they aren’t being heard, they stop trying to talk to you. They may feel like the situation is hopeless.

2. There is a breakdown in communication.

This goes hand in hand with the first tip. Because your partner feels like you aren’t listening, they may stop trying to communicate with you altogether. There will be no more feedback on what you’re saying. They may begin to ignore you entirely, which will probably make your nagging worse. Eventually, you’ll start to feel just like your partner does – that they aren’t listening – and communication will break down between the two of you.

3. Arguments become more passive-aggressive.

After a breakdown in communication, the only thing that’s left is taking jabs at each other. Talking is getting you nowhere. Arguing is getting you nowhere. Now you’re left with resentment, which can manifest itself in the form of passive-aggressive behavior. This can further alienate your partner, as well as yourself. You’ll find yourself in a hostile relationship, which isn’t healthy for either one of you. It won’t last long with things being that way.

4. It can make your partner feel like you’re trying to his or her mother.

People love their mothers, and they may even seek out partners that have the same traits as their mother. This is especially true for men. However, that doesn’t mean they want to date their mother. You don’t want to be your partner’s mother any more than they want you to, but when you constantly nag your partner, it can remind them of how their mother used to get on them.

5. It just makes life dull and annoying.

No one wants to be around someone that gets on their nerves all the time. Just imagine if you must be around someone who is always pestering you, bothering you, telling you what you’re doing wrong, or getting on you about something. Yes, it’s frustrating being around or living with someone who won’t listen, but being a nag is never the answer. You need to find common ground on the situation.

6. It can make your partner tune you out.

The silent treatment. That would probably get on your nerves more than arguing would. Your partner may decide that they aren’t going to deal with your nagging. They are just going to ignore you and tune you out when your lips start moving. This can get irritating because they may begin tuning you out even during times that you aren’t a nag. They ignore you all the time now.

7. It can put your partner under a lot of stress.

Your partner may not know what to expect from you when you continuously nag them, and this can put them under a lot of stress. They don’t know how to act in front of you, what to say to you, or how to react to you. They may feel like you resent them or that they can’t please you. Not knowing what to do or say in front of someone you care about can create so much stress that you don’t want to be around that person. This is what can happen to your partner.

8. Your partner may begin to dread seeing you.

From the last tip, where your partner is stressed out, they’ll begin to dread seeing you because being around you isn’t a pleasant experience. They’ll start to expect drama from you, and no one likes to deal with drama. You can be sure that once you get to a point where your partner dreads seeing you, your relationship will be close to coming to an end.

9. Your partner may begin to confide in someone else.

You can probably think back to when you and your partner could talk about anything. That may not be the case anymore. You may begin to notice that you don’t speak as much or at all. This means your partner is probably confiding in someone else. It could be a friend or family member. You should hope that it’s not another romantic partner. Just keep in mind that your partner is human. If you make it difficult for them to talk to you, they’ll end up talking to someone else.

10. Your partner may begin to speak ill of you to others.

When your partner begins to confide in others, it might not be all pleasant talk. It’s going to hurt if you find out that your partner is saying bad things about you behind your back. Your partner probably needs an outlet to express how they’re feeling. Unfortunately, if you constantly nag them, they probably aren’t feeling good, so they’re probably not saying good things.

11. Your partner might lose their self-esteem.

When someone is continuously told that they’re doing something wrong, they may begin to feel like they can’t do anything right. It will start to weigh on their confidence and self-esteem. The last thing you want to do is to make your partner feel bad. You nag because they aren’t listening to you, and it can be frustrating. However, it would be best if you found a better way to communicate because you’re only making your partner feel bad about themselves.

12. It can make your partner react in a way they’ll regret later.

All that passive-aggressive behavior and the hit to their self-esteem can make your partner react in a way that they don’t intend to. Remember, your partner is human. People can only take so much before they snap. Don’t let things get to that point. Cut out the nagging before things escalate to the point of no return.

13. Your partner might stop coming home.

If you live with your partner, you probably expect them to come home each night. You may begin to notice that your partner has to “work late” all the time. It may get to a point where your partner stops coming home altogether. That’s going to cause a lot of additional problems in your relationship.

14. It can lead to depression.

When you constantly nag your partner, everything starts to break down, as discussed in the previous tips. This can lead to both of you being extremely unhappy with each other. You may love each other, but you can’t stand to be around each other. Now you’re both depressed, and your relationship is in jeopardy.

15. It can lead to substance abuse.

When all other methods of coping fail, substance abuse could be next on the list. This can happen to you, as well as your partner. This is probably the worst thing that could come from constant nagging. Substance abuse will introduce a whole host of new problems to the relationship. Old issues won’t even stand a chance of being solved. You should stop being a nag before things get to this point.

Final Thoughts on How Nagging Can Cause Breakdown of Love and Trust in Your Relationship

Understandably, you nag your partner because they aren’t doing something right, no matter how many times you bring it up. You’re irritated and frustrated, and you probably don’t know how else to get through to your partner. However, nagging is never the answer. It only makes things worse.

You need to sit down and have an in-depth conversation with your partner. Get their feedback on what’s happening between the two of you and make sure you listen and consider their side of things. This should help to clear up the situation, but if it doesn’t, then you need to consider the fact that the issue may never be resolved. You need to decide if it’s a relationship dealbreaker or a quirky habit that you can live with.

Whatever you decide to do, stop nagging your partner all the time.

There are many types of toxic relationships, and many people don’t realize they are involved in one. Poisonous relationships can drag you down and place a massive burden on your life. This is why strong women won’t accept toxicity.

A good sign of a toxic relationship is that it makes you sad, angry, depressed, or disappointment more often than not. If your relationship isn’t making you feel fulfilled or happy, it could be an indicator that something is wrong.

A toxic relationship is any relationship that takes away from your well-being. Sometimes it is difficult to assess if you are in a toxic relationship. This is because there are good times which can convince you that the toxicity isn’t as bad as you think.

Fourteen Signs You Are in One of The 7 Types of Toxic Relationships

Allowing yourself to believe that the toxic times aren’t that bad can harm you more than you know. Studies show that unhealthy relationships can cause the following issues:

1. Increased stress
2. Compromised immune system
3. Decreased endocrine function
4. Depression and anxiety
5. A decrease in physical health
6. Lacking health habits
7. Increased heart rate
8. High blood pressure
9. Overeating or undereating
10. Increased alcohol consumption
11. Smoking
12. Lack of self-control
13. Poor mental health
14. Decreased self-esteem and sense of self-worth

How to Identify if Someone Special in Your Life is Toxic

If you are in a toxic relationship, someone probably came to mind while you were reading the types of toxic relationships. Some of the signs that you are being affected by toxicity include the following:

• Always helping them fix their problems
• Covering things up or hiding things for them
• You feel anxious when you think about seeing them
• Their presence makes you feel emotionally exhausted and drained
• You become angry or depressed when they are around
• The feeling that you have to impress them
• Their drama and problems being affecting you
• You dislike the person you are when they are around
• They seem to not care about your needs
• You can’t tell them ‘no’ without them changing your mind

Strong Women Will Never Accept These Types of Toxic Relationships

Here are seven types of romantic entanglements that a strong woman will always walk away from.

1. The Controlling Relationship

In this type of relationship, the other person will want to control everything about your life. From the places you go to the people you see, they will have a strong opinion about it. Over time, they will even want to control what you say, do, and think.

They will get angry or upset when you disagree with them, and they will continually try to change your opinion. You won’t have any personal space if you have a relationship with them. Plus, your significant other will pick at the things you do or say until you are just like them.

Strong women don’t allow this to happen. At the first sign of a controlling person, they know they need to leave the relationship. Unless you like always being told what you can do and say, this is not an ideal relationship.

Sticking around a controlling relationship can cause you to miss out on opportunities. It will hinder your development and prevent you from bettering yourself.

2. Manipulative Relationships

In a manipulative relationship, the other person will try to confuse your perception of reality. Even when you have evidence of something, they will try to tell you that you are wrong. They are often so adamant about it and never waver, and you may end up believing them.

These people do this so that they can get away with behavior that you wouldn’t usually put up with. This is one of the reasons strong women avoid these types of toxic relationships at all costs.

Manipulative people only think of themselves, and they will do and say anything to benefit themselves. These people do not care (not even one bit) who they hurt along the way or who is affected by their behavior and lies.

3. The Narcissistic Relationships

If you are talking to someone and they continually interrupt you, they may be a narcissist. They frequently talk about themselves and will hardly let you speak at all. These types of people won’t ask questions and won’t give you a chance to respond to anything they say.

So, avoid this type of relationship at all costs. Narcissists are self-centered and will be unable to pay attention to your needs or desires.

4. Drama-filled Relationships

Toxic people are often drawn to drama. There is always something to complain or cry about, and nothing ever seems to get resolved. Even if one problem is resolved, another one will quickly occur.

They will want you to be sympathetic and be there for them as they continuously complain. Unfortunately, this person won’t want advice, and they probably won’t listen to what you say, anyway. You may feel like they don’t want to fix the problems so that they can keep complaining about them.

People who are addicted to drama in this way will always play the victim. They will be in their most comfortable environment when the drama is occurring. This outcome could be because it makes them feel important or simply because they want attention.

5. Jealous or Judgmental Relationships

Being in a relationship with a jealous individual is toxic because they’ll never be happy for you. When they become jealous, they also become judgmental and often criticize you or gossip about it.

You will know that someone is jealous and judgmental because they will always have something negative to say. They will find something wrong with everyone they meet and behave as if they are superior. Strong women don’t put up with this because they know that they will be gossiped about and criticized, too.

6. Relationships That Are One-Sided

Both people should be making an effort in the relationship. When you feel like you are continually reaching out or trying to make a connection, it’s a sign that the relationship is one-sided. This will leave you feeling emotionally spent, and it could affect your self-esteem.

7. Relationships Based on Lies

If you start noticing inconsistencies early on, you might wonder if the entire relationship is built on lies. You may not even know the truth about the most fundamental aspects of their life.

One sign you can watch for is if they lie to those around them about small things. If they do, they may be lying to you about things that don’t truly matter. Fibbing about little things usually always leads to lying about big things, so you definitely can’t trust them.

Staying in a relationship like this will be detrimental to your well-being and cause you to lose confidence. You will find yourself questioning everything the other person says. Before you know it, you will be obsessively trying to find out the truth or find other things they may be hiding.

Instead of putting yourself through heartache and trouble, confusion, and pain, try to avoid this relationship. There are many honest people you could spend your time with, instead of wasting it on toxicity.

 How to Handle Toxicity

It’s not always possible to walk away from a toxic person right away. When this is the case, it’s essential to handle the situation appropriately.

You shouldn’t let them control you, and you shouldn’t give in to their unhealthy ways. Instead, you should accept that the position is a difficult one and do what you can to make it easier. This situation doesn’t mean you allow them to behave however they want, but try not to snap back and make it worse.

One way to handle it is to tell them the truth. Tell them how they are making you feel and that it makes you not want to be around them. If you didn’t invite them somewhere and they ask why, be honest about the reason.

You can also set boundaries. Tell them that you don’t appreciate the way they speak to you and that you won’t allow it anymore.

Another vital way to handle a toxic relationship is not to do everything they say. If you make it clear you make your decisions, they may eventually stop telling you what to do so often.

Finally, if none of those ideas work, it may be time to end the relationship. This may seem impossible, but you are strong and can get through it, just as other strong women do.

How to Leave a Toxic Relationship Safely

It’s not always easy to end a toxic relationship, or no one would be in them. Since it can be challenging to end it, these tips might be able to help you.

• Plan ahead
• Determine any obstacles and work on removing them
• Remind yourself that it is for the best for everyone involved
• Improve on your talents and secure financial independence if needed
• Ignore those who encourage you to stay
• Write in a journal regularly so that you can look back on it if you begin to change your mind about leaving
• Build up your support system
• Stop telling him about your life events
• Spend your extra time hanging out with close friends
• Stop giving so much time and energy

Final Thoughts on Strong Women Will Never Accept These 7 Types of Toxic Relationships

There are certain types of toxic relationships strong women will never accept, and for good reasons. These poisonous relationships will significantly affect your well-being and are detrimental to all aspects of your life.

One of the reasons strong women are so strong is because they stand up for themselves. They make sure that anyone in their life is making them happy, or they walk away. This helps them become more successful and have a higher quality of life, and you can have that, too.

You deserve happiness, and that requires removing all toxicity from your life and especially your close relationships. It may be extremely challenging, but you will be better off and happier once you do. Don’t settle for any of these types of toxic relationships.