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10 Behaviors That Reveal a Bitter Person »

10 Behaviors That Reveal a Bitter Person »


Bitter people are hard to live with; they lash out at everyone around them. People wonder how to spot bitterness. So, what are ten behaviors that reveal a bitter person? And how do you cope with them?

It’s easy to spot a bitter person once you learn their tell-tale poor behaviors.

10 Red Flags of A Negative and Bitter Person

1 – Lack gratefulness

Bitter people feel cheated by life. Even if they have a great experience, they won’t express gratitude. The glass is always half-empty. They will not express thanks for their family or friends, their home, or their job because there’s still something wrong with each of these things. Something or someone has disappointed them, and that looms larger than their blessings.

How to cope with an ungrateful person:

Remember, this person isn’t a terrible person. Instead, they feel overloaded with emotions they can’t unravel. Kindness and patience will make them feel like you are a real friend.

bitter person

2 – Cynical

Cynicism is mistrust and suspicion. You can’t make a bitter person happy. In their eyes, you’ll  fall short in doing what they “expected.” They will say something like, “I’m not surprised; it’s what people always do to me.” They’re like a dark cloud on a sunny day. Their cynicism overshadows everything they do and say.

How to cope with the cynic in your life:

It may take your bitter friend or colleague a while to trust you. They may even push you away at first, but be persistent. Don’t let their bitterness pull you down, stand firm in who you are. Your bitter friend no doubt has suffered, and they’re lashing out. So, be emphatic towards them without being drawn into their bitterness.

3 –  Bitter people hold a grudge

It’s normal for you to have a misunderstanding with someone, but you can work it out and then let it go. You don’t hold grudges. Even if you can’t agree on a solution, you’ll let it go since you don’t want to spend your time or energy holding on to a grudge. But bitter people can’t let go of things. They become obsessed with their grudges and the people who have wronged them.

How to cope with resentful feelings of others:

Don’t agree with their assessment of other people. If they want to vent their anger, tell them you disagree in a kind but firm voice.  Show them you aren’t entering into their bitterness trap.

4 – Jealousy

Bitter people are jealous of others who they perceive are getting what they deserve.

 Studies found that your emotions influence your judgment. Participants were first made to feel love, then asked to rate different candies and chocolate as sweet or bitter. The participants who felt love rated the candies and chocolates as very sweet. But the participants who experienced jealousy said the candy and chocolate were less pleasing.

Bitterness influences a person’s perception. They become jealous when their friends or co-workers talk about a recent success, a new home, or their promotion. They can’t stand it that others receive things they want or think they should have.

How to cope:

It’s not a good idea to share personal things with a bitter person. Their jealousy will turn into gossiping about you to others, putting you in a bad light. Keep your conversations shallow and upbeat.

bitter person

5 – They are vocal about their bitterness

Bitter people aren’t private about their anger. They let everyone know that their life is unfair. They’re looking for someone to agree with them so they can justify their feelings. Their bitterness spills out onto others, like acid tainting anyone’s good mood. Working with a bitter person is exhausting because they suck all the life out of you by continually complaining and bemoaning their lot in life.

How to cope:

Don’t get dragged into their bitterness rant. If the person has become more of a friend to you when you are alone with them, bring up to them how they sound, their propensity to be angry and bitter. It could be that no one has ever pointed this out to them and shared it humanely.

6 – Blame shifting

A bitter person blames others for their circumstances rather than accept responsibility. They will set themselves up as the “ideal worker” or “ideal parent.”

Others will be the ones who have caused problems at work or ruined their kids, but not the bitter person.

They have no responsibility because they feel like the victim. Indeed, they are the sufferer (in their minds). Also, this person won’t take responsibility for their angry, bitter emotions. They justify their blame-shifting with abusive language.

They’ll say things like, “I wouldn’t have to do this if she did her job!” or “She made me so mad I could have hit her.”

One study found that people who blame shift want to save face, to conceal their role.

How to cope with a person who refuses to accept accountability:

Refuse to accept the blame, stand your ground in an emphatic voice and manner. Don’t get dragged into their blame-shifting of others either.

7 – Irritable and annoyed

Bitter people always find something to complain about. Something or someone annoys them. Nothing is ever right in their life. They’ll complain about people at work, their family and people at stores.

In their minds, their co-workers aren’t doing their jobs, and their kids aren’t working hard enough at school, and clerks at the store aren’t competent. Irritation and annoyance is a daily emotion for a bitter person.

How to cope:

You’ll notice what triggers a bitter person’s annoyance and irritation. You may need to avoid doing things that irritate them within reason. Some people can’t stand being joked with or teasing. But don’t be afraid of a bitter person, but if you know something pushes their buttons, try to refrain from doing it.

Here are fifteen proven reasons to make meditation a habit.

8 – Won’t like it if you’re positive and cheerful

If you try to cheer up a bitter person, be ready for a backlash. Angry people find cheerful, positive people irritating. Your positivity casts a light on their anger and resentment. They don’t want to own these emotions so that they will react.

They’ll ignore you or spew gossip about you to others. You’ve trod on their bitter turf, and they don’t like it. They may gossip about you to feel better about themselves. Angry people want to squash your happiness. It’s a form of manipulation to get you to be like them.

How to cope:

A bitter person needs to see that not everyone is like them. They need someone to stand up to them. Even if they don’t like cheerfulness or positivity, it is affecting them. Be positive, and don’t feel bad about it. Your identity isn’t in the bitter person’s opinion of you. If they don’t like you or gossip about you, let it roll off your shoulders. They’re miserable, but you don’t need to be.

9 – Can’t congratulate others

Bitter people find it hard to tell someone they’re doing a good job unless they are seeking approval. They do have their moments of being sweet to people they want to impress. They will often go out of their way to acknowledge a boss. But people they see as less important are worthless to them, so they will rarely admit good work or accomplishments.

How to cope with someone who cannot (or will not) celebrate your victories:

Don’t try to balance out your bitter friend’s destructive emotions. If you have a good relationship, point out your angry friend’s lack of congratulation or being happy for others. Often, they don’t realize how they come across because no one has ventured into their bitterness to point out the truth to them.

10 –  Bitter people make sweeping assumptions

A bitter person’s irritations and anger display hostility. They make generalizations about people and situations, lumping everyone together. They carry prejudices, judge others, and cast themselves in an excellent light.

Studies show that such anger and hostility that a bitter person holds can affect their health. Doctors found those who are anger and aggressiveness could cause heart problems, diabetes, car accidents, or bulimia.

How to cope with people who make inaccurate assumptions:

Be emphatic without being drawn in. When they try to lump you into their generalization, gently point out you’re not that way. Be light-hearted with them, even joking in a self-deprecating way. If they drop their guard and show some vulnerability to you, share your concern for their health. Tell them they need help to control their anger because it’ll destroy them.

angry partner

Final Thoughts on Identifying and Dealing with a Bitter Person

It’s hard to deal with a bitter person. You don’t want to be around them because their bitterness overshadows goodness in the day. They’re often blinded to their own emotions, maybe they’ve experienced deep hurt in their lives, and they’re angry about it.

Strangely, bitter people often attract cheerful people who want to help them. It’s not easy to be emphatic towards an angry person. Their bitterness is contagious. But you can be emphatic without agreeing with them.

Stand your ground, but show them kindness. It may feel like you’re hugging a cactus because of their angry barbs at you. Stay positive and when they see you are their friend, find ways to have more in-depth conversations with them. Share your concerns for them, and point out things they say and do that hurt them.

Be careful. Bitterness is contagious. Don’t get bitten by their venom, so you’re drawn into becoming a bitter person yourself.

Lifestyle

10 Hidden Behaviors Reveal That Your Coworker is a Gaslighter

10 Hidden Behaviors Reveal That Your Coworker is a Gaslighter


.Gaslighters are toxic people that you really should evict out of your life. While you may be fully aware of this, if the person is your coworker, you may not be able to avoid them altogether. What you can do is limited contact with these types of coworkers as much as possible. To do that, you need to know how to spot them. We share ten hidden behaviors that identify coworkers as gaslighters.

What is Gaslighting?

Before diving into how you can spot a coworker that is a gaslighter, you should know precisely what gaslighting is.

A gaslighter is psychologically manipulating a person by planting doubt in that person about the person’s perception, memory, or judgment. This tactic can often result in a loss of identity, low self-esteem, and a lack of confidence for the person they manipulate. This person can have narcissistic and sociopathic tendencies.

Ten Hidden Signs of a Gaslighter

1. They Lie and Exaggerate Blatantly

These people have no shame. They will tell blatant lies, both big and small. What is crazier is that they will lie directly to your face, knowing that you know the truth. It can get extremely bizarre when they begin to lie about big, obvious things – you know they are lying. Still, they are lying so convincingly you wonder if you possibly misunderstood something.

The lying tends to happen in levels. They might start small just to plant the seeds of doubt. It can even manifest in the form of overriding your opinions or feelings about certain things. For example, they may attempt to convince you that you love a particular food even though you’re sure you don’t. Eventually, the lies and exaggeration get worse and worse, but by then, they may already have you under their spell.

2. Behavior is Repetitive

The whole process of gaslighting takes some dedication. This person will not just deceive you occasionally. It will be a constant occurrence. It can be so consistent that you never know when you’re going to hear the truth from them, and in the event that they do tell the truth, it can be surprising.

After being exposed continuously to the lies and deception, incidences where they tell the truth or compliment, you could also be used as manipulation (more on this in another section). The bouncing back and forth from reality to lie, and the repetitive behavior can easily lead to the next sign.

3. You Feel Worn Down by Spending Time Around the Person

You’re human. You can only take so much. Strong-willed, confident people may not be affected as much as others, but the constant exposure to psychological warfare can wear your shell down.

This defeat is especially true when you are required to be around this person. For example, if your boss is doing the gaslighting, but you need your job, you may feel like you do not have a choice. You may begin to feel depressed, hopeless, and even worthless. Most of all, you can feel stuck.

If you are feeling worn down around a coworker, do what you can to stay away from them.

quotes

4. A Gaslighter Won’t Admit to Flaws

Gaslighters see themselves as more perfect than anyone else. They will rarely admit to any flaws, no matter who distinct they are. To them, you and everyone else are the ones who have it wrong. They would deny a fault just as they are performing it.

This denial can also manifest in the form of them calling you and everyone else liars. Even if you have proof of them being the liar, they will find some manipulative way to turn it around. This behavior can often be by telling more lies to support the original myth. Pretty soon, they will have an entire fabricated story that they use to prove that they are right and you are wrong.

5. A Gaslighter Issues a Constant Reminder of Your Flaws

We have already established that they will not admit to any flaws. However, they will be sure to remind you of all of yours, all the time. Doing this is a way to bring your self-esteem and self-confidence down so low that they have total control and domination over you.

With coworkers, this means could be expressed in actions such as discrediting your work or your work ethic.

They may say things like, “It doesn’t matter how hard you work. You’re just not a good fit for that promotion.”

They may say phrases like this with no proof at all that they are correct. If they do happen to find an actual flaw of yours, the taunting can be much worse.

6. They Blow Things Out of Proportion

If you do find some courage to challenge them when they are lying, manipulating you, or pointing out your flaws, prepare for war. They don’t take criticism well. They don’t like to take it at all.

Pointing out their flaws garners the same reaction as challenging their lies. In some cases, their response can escalate into the argument of the century. You must have very thick skin to make it through one of these arguments. If you don’t, you can be left feeling wrecked when the debate is over.

7. You Have a Sense of Walking on Eggshells

When you are dealing with a person who blows up at the simplest criticism, or that turns everything into something to use against you, it can make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around them. You will begin to feel like you do or say the wrong things all the time. You may even notice that you are correcting yourself constantly to not trigger the person.

Being in this situation long term can lead to a lot of stress and mental exhaustion. It can affect your work performance because it becomes more about pleasing the gaslighter than doing your job. Staying away from coworkers like this is the best way to relieve your stress and anxiety.

psychopath8. Say One Thing, Do Something Else

You can never expect gaslighting people to lead by example. They do a lot of talking about what is right or wrong, what to do next, or what’s honorable or what’s not. After all this talking, they will turn around and do the exact opposite of what they said.

So pay attention to what they are doing over what they are saying. You already know that they are liars. However, the actions they take often tell the truth a lot more than their words. With gaslighting people, actions honestly do speak louder than words.

9. Confusing Compliments

Gaslighting people are masters at playing mind games. They know that if you start expecting them to be a liar and a bully all the time, their games will not be as effective as they would like. That is why they may throw in the occasional compliment. You can get so used to them putting you down regularly that when they give praise, you are completely confused about their authenticity. However, it is likely just a ruse.

When you get an unexpected compliment from this person, it is likely because you did something to help them, even if you didn’t know it. After all, they are not terrible people for no reason. A gaslighter’s primary purpose for their actions is to help themselves. When you seem to be on their side without question, you can expect the occasional compliment.

Do not fall for it. It will take next to nothing for them to start putting you down again.

10. Rallying Troops Against You

It is not enough for the person to wage psychological warfare on you by themselves. They will up the stakes by turning other coworkers against you. They are not beneath starting rumors and gossip or flat out lying to someone about something you said or did. Turning people against you works because the gaslighting person is usually playing their mind games on others in the office also.

Even as workplace tension increases, the gaslighting person will try to make you feel like it is your fault that people do not like you. There is a good chance that everyone loves you, but the gaslighting person just tells you lies to make you think people do not like you. If you are dealing with a coworker who consistently hints to you that others in the office have a problem with you or your work, you have found your gaslighter.

Final Thoughts on Working With a Gaslighter

If you recognize any of these qualities in your coworkers, you are in trouble if you work closely with these toxic people. They may attempt to sabotage your success and manipulate you into thinking it’s your fault. Even worse is that they are good at gaslighting. The best advice that you can follow is to distance yourself from the person. It can be hard to do at work, but in the end, it is better than working in a toxic environment.

Lifestyle

5 Red Flags That Reveal a Malignant Narcissist

5 Red Flags That Reveal a Malignant Narcissist


A malignant narcissist is a term applied to the most severe form of narcissistic personality disorder. This person feels an absolute need for full power. Couple that compulsive need to control others with a demand to be the center of attention. The combination makes this person intolerable to those around him or her.

The Meaning Behind the Term “Narcissism”

For those who are curious about where the term narcissism comes from, it is derived from Greek mythology. Furthermore, it is an interpolation of the name Narkissos, a young Greek man who was quite enamored with himself.

According to the mythical tale, Narkissos was the object of affection for Echo, a nymph who repeatedly professed her love. He rejected her adorations. Narkissos was so taken with himself that he would often spend hours and even days admiring his handsome reflection in various lakes. He believed that nobody, including Echo, was worthy of him.

While this is a fascinating story in Greek mythology, narcissism is, in fact, a real personality disorder. More than that, it is one that can quickly spiral out of control if an individual doesn’t seek treatment from a licensed mental health professional.

malignant narcissist

What Is a Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Now that we have a little more background relative to where the term narcissism came from let’s take a moment to learn more about what it means to have a narcissistic personality disorder. First and foremost, narcissism is classified as a cluster B personality disorder.

Individuals with this disorder often seek admiration from others but will seldom offer it in return. Further, they tend to prioritize self-importance above the needs and wants of others, including their friends and family.

Another hallmark of those with this particular disorder is a lack of empathy. Something else to note when it comes to narcissistic personality disorders is that they are surprisingly common in America, according to a study published by the National Institutes of Health, a part of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

The same study published by the National Institutes of Health also revealed that narcissistic personality disorders account for 20.2 percent of all mental health disorders in America.

The Primary Signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

That said, it is abundantly clear that there is a significant difference between having high self-esteem and equally high self-confidence and having a narcissistic personality disorder. Along with a preoccupation with one’s self and a constant need for admiration and validation, individuals with a narcissistic personality disorder will also exhibit behaviors that are in line with the diagnostic criteria 301.81 per the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, Fifth Edition (DSM-5). These behaviors often include the following:

  • Jealousy
  • Arrogance
  • A tendency to exaggerate one’s talents, achievements, or both
  • Remaining in a perpetual state of fantasy in terms of achieving or maintaining success and power
  • A tendency to be interpersonally exploitative

Indeed, narcissism, as a mental health disorder, can quickly push away friends and family while turning an individual’s life on its head. Fortunately, it is possible to prevent these things from happening if one can recognize the signs of the disorder and also seek treatment from a licensed therapist.

malignant narcissistThe Different Types of Narcissistic Personality Disorders

Studies show that there are three subtypes when it comes to narcissistic personality disorders. And they include overt, covert, and exhibitionist. To better understand how each of these subtypes can impact an individual’s life, it helps to take a look at each of them individually:

The Overt or Malignant Narcissist

Also known as a “malignant narcissist,” this type of narcissistic personality disorder is one that often coexists with other psychological comorbidities, such as avoidant, dependent, and obsessive-compulsive disorders.

It is important to note that overt narcissistic personality disorders are also quite common among those who engage in substance abuse. While there are many others, constant feelings of anger and hostility are two of the more notable signs that an individual might be struggling with an overt narcissistic personality disorder.

You may also hear this described as “grandiose” narcissism.

Covert Narcissism

Individuals with an overt narcissistic personality disorder are also struggling with comorbidities that make matters worse, some of which include anxiety and depression. Further, many also have low self-esteem. And to combat these feelings of depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem, they are often very critical of others. In essence, they build themselves up while subtly berating and tearing others down.

Exhibitionist

An exhibitionist narcissistic personality disorder is generally not accompanied by psychological comorbidities.

However, there is one exception. In times of crisis, such as a failed relationship or losing a job, for example, individuals with an exhibitionist narcissistic personality disorder may display signs of entitlement issues. It is also not uncommon for them to become self-centered and less empathetic toward others as they go through these crises.

What Is the Worst Type of Narcissism?

Any variation of a narcissistic personality disorder can have a profound impact on one’s life. The NPD diagnosis also impacts to mention the lives of those around them. Some are worse than others. And this is especially the case when it comes to malignant narcissists in that they are very anti-social and extremely paranoid.

What’s more, they derive a perverse pleasure in acting out aggressively and engaging in acts of sadism, especially when it comes to sexual gratification, according to a study published in the American Journal of Psychiatry, one of the oldest monthly peer-reviewed medical journals. That said, most psychologists and psychiatrists will agree that malignant narcissists are not only a danger to themselves but also to other people in their life.

toxic people meme

How to Tell If You’re Dealing With a Malignant Narcissist

Having established that malignant narcissism is the worst out of the three narcissistic personality disorders, let’s take a moment to recap the five signs that could reveal someone you know might have such a disorder:

1. Extreme Anti-Social Behavior

Although anti-social behavior is often associated with shyness, malignant narcissists are known to take things a step further. Their behavior is a peculiar mix of anti-social and narcissistic traits.

They will often isolate themselves because they believe that others are not worthy of their time, friendship, or attention. And in those rare instances when they do allow others into their life, they will try to manipulate or exploit them for their own gratification, according to Dr. Daniel Fox, a licensed psychologist, international speaker, and author located in Texas.

2. Sadism

Arguably one of the most identifiable signs of a malignant narcissist is sadism. Most people will feel and display some degree of empathy when someone they know is depressed or going through a difficult time in their life. On the other hand, a malignant narcissist is the opposite in that they feel more powerful when others struggle. And this is especially true if they played a role in the person’s misery.

Undoubtedly, most people will perceive this type of behavior as mean-spirited. It is akin to kicking someone while they are down. However, it is part and parcel when it comes to malignant narcissism, according to a study published in the Journal of the American Academy of Psychiatry and the Law, a quarterly academic journal providing information on topics related to psychiatry in America.

3. Malicious Plotting Against Friends and Family

Malicious plotting against an enemy is not unusual. Let’s be honest. A large percentage of people will look for ways to get back at someone who has wronged them.

However, those who engage in malignant narcissism will adopt the same mindset when it comes to friends and family. This behavior occurs even if the loved one didn’t do anything to justify such actions. Some of the more common forms of malicious plotting include lying and manipulation, which are both carried out with a high degree of sophistication.

4. Aggressive Behavior

Although aggressive behavior, for some people, commonly associates with anger. However, it is also another telling sign that you might be dealing with a malignant narcissist. Along with verbal altercations, individuals with this disorder will also engage in acts of physical violence without provocation. This behavior further explains why most psychiatrists consider this variation of narcissistic personality disorder the worst.

According to Craig Malkin, a clinical psychologist and lecturer at the famed Harvard University in Cambridge, MA, the aggressive behavior of individuals with a malignant-based narcissistic personality disorder is often a blend of the following:

  • Sadism
  • Psychopathy
  • Machiavellianism

5. Psychopathy

In some cases, a malignant narcissist might behave in such a way that blends seemingly innocuous narcissism with dangerous psychopathy. And this unique combination removes the guilt that they would otherwise feel when they harm or manipulate others.

This same combination of psychopathy and narcissism can also give way to verbal and physical altercations. And when things get to this point, most individuals with this disorder tend to be very cold and calculating when it comes to their verbal or physical attacks.

malignant narcissistFinal Thoughts on Malignant Narcissists

In summary, there is a world of difference between having a healthy, positive self-image and having a narcissistic personality disorder. Of course, any variation of the mental disorder is troubling. However, it is reasonably safe to say that the malignant narcissist is the most dangerous type. After all, it is as close as someone can get to being a psychopath without officially being diagnosed as one.

Lifestyle

5 Signs That Reveal You May Live Longer Than Other People Your Age

5 Signs That Reveal You May Live Longer Than Other


In a perfect world, we would all live longer and know when our life would end. This way, you’d be able to get your affairs in order and get things ready before the moment comes. On second thought, knowing when the moment was happening might be an awful thing to know.

Whether you’d want to know when it’ll happen or if you’d rather not know, we’re all curious about one thing. The thing we want to know is what makes some people outlive others. While there’s no exact science to figure it out, there are some ideas of what leads to a longer life.

Each of the ideas relates to your overall wellbeing. It seems that taking care of your body and mind is the ultimate key to living a long life. Since wellness is such a vast topic, it’s essential to narrow it down. Once you narrow it down, you can understand some of the signs that reveal you may live longer.

5 Signs You May Live Longer Than Others

live longer

Remember that there is no exact science to determine how long anyone will live. Many factors determine the length of life, but these signs are ones that anyone can work on.

1. You’re Organized, Make Plans, and Budget

Studies show that those who are organized, disciplined, persistent, and hard-working typically outlive others. This indicator is because they take fewer risks, are healthier, and have regular check-ups and doctor visits. Since they are more conscientious about their health, this benefits them in the long run.

Those aren’t the only reasons that organizers, planners, and budgeters live longer, however. Since these things go along with cognition, it can help prevent degenerative cognitive diseases.

People who have these characteristics are also less likely to smoke cigarettes and consume an excessive amount of alcohol. Plus, they’re more likely to have a steady job and a healthy marriage, leading to less stress and health problems.

In total, those who are organized, planners, and budgeters are expected to live around four years longer than others.

How You Can Work on This

Luckily, it’s not too late to develop this type of lifestyle. For those who aren’t naturally organized, a planner, or a budgeter, it’s still possible. It may just be a little tougher and will take more determination.

You can start by practicing writing schedules and budgets for yourself or your family. Start with a plan for the day, and then stick to it. Once you have a routine of planning your day and stick to it, you can begin planning for longer things.

If you wish to live a life like this, it’s crucial to consider relationships, careers, and friendships before jumping in. By doing so, you’re giving yourself a chance to review what may come from life change. If it might be toxic for you or cause overwhelming stress, think of your wellbeing before deciding.

2. Your BMI is Normal

Being overweight can decrease a life span, so an abnormal Body Mass Index (BMI) could mean a shorter life. With a healthy BMI, however, you are likely to outlive others.

Keep in mind, however, that an abnormal BMI calculation isn’t always a cause for alarm. If yours is too high or too low, you should discuss it with your doctor.

An average BMI calculation is between 18.5 and 24.9, and the index for being overweight is between 25 and 29.9. Then, an obese index is between 30 and 34.9. If you are above the obese calculation, you must change your lifestyle habits.

To calculate BMI, you have to divide your weight in kilograms by your height in meters squared. If this is too complicated, it’s easy to find accurate BMI calculators on the internet.

BMI tape measure
Read about the connection between BMI and overall wellness.

How to Reach a Normal BMI

The only way to change your BMI is to change your lifestyle. If your BMI is too low, you can work to gain weight or muscle. On the other hand, if your BMI is too low, you will have to do the opposite.

There are two natural ways you can successfully reach a normal BMI. One is by eating healthy foods and sticking to a nutritious diet. The other way is by exercising regularly and leading an active lifestyle.

It seems that the most critical factor for those who are overweight or obese is to eat less. Try leaving some food on your plate at each meal. A study performed at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis proves that this can help you live longer.

In the study, researchers determined that a diet that is low in calories yet high in nutrition is the best option. This is because that type of diet decreases the number of T3 hormones in your body. T3, a thyroid hormone, not only causes a slow metabolism, but it also speeds up the aging process.

3. You Look Younger Than You Are

When scientists conducted a study on twins, they were able to determine one of the signs of a longer life. The twins were monitored over the course of 12 years. In the end, scientists decided that the twin who looked younger lived longer.

The Secret to Looking Younger

Take care of yourself. Things like cigarettes and alcohol can make people appear older, proving that they are not suitable for the body. Eating healthy foods will help, along with regularly being active. Another way to look younger is by getting enough sleep.

4. You Have Regular Social Interaction

Healthy social interaction doesn’t have to mean there are many people in your life. Even a small group of people, you have a meaningful relationship with can help your overall wellness.

When you have people that you can trust in tough situations, you’ll have more help through the hard times. This increases the chances that you’ll have support when you’re sick, hurt, or just need a companion.

Other reasons that regular social interaction leads to a longer life are health-related. Studies show that those who aren’t regularly social tend to have more negative health patterns than others.

These negative health patterns include inactivity, obesity, hypertension, and increased blood clots. Those who are social also get sick less often when exposed to viruses than those who are generally isolated. They also have less inflammatory markers than those who don’t have regular social interaction.

Another health issue that stems from social interaction is that those who are isolated are more likely to smoke tobacco. Plus, those who have social interaction are less likely to have high blood pressure and increased heart rate from stress.

social distancingHow to Become More Social

Be careful not to let social media become your only form of communication with friends and family. To get the full benefits of social interaction, you have to have people in real life.

Make plans with the people you care about and follow through on them. Don’t wait for them to call you to make plans. Instead, reach out and let them know you’d like to spend some time together.

If you don’t know anyone in your area that you can reach out to, look for friends in other places. Join a group or start spending time in places that interest you. By doing this, you’re likely to find friends like yourself.

5. You Often Exhibit Positivity

Positive people experience less stress in their daily life and outlive negative people. Since there is less stress, blood pressure and heart rate tend to stay more regular. Both of those things are a vital part of living a long and healthy life.

The most crucial topic to remain positive about is aging. It’s believed that being positive about aging and life can lead to living up to 15% longer than negative people. Plus, you’ll have a better chance of making it 85 years old than those who can’t see the positives.

The Way to Become More Positive

Work on staying positive in your life each day. When things aren’t going as planned, look for a positive in the situation. There is always going to be at least one good thing going on, no matter how insignificant it may seem.

One way to remind yourself that life is good is by keeping a gratitude journal. Write one thing each day that you were grateful for. You can also say positive affirmations to yourself and surround yourself with other positive people.

live longerFinal Thoughts on Signs That Reveal You May Live Longer Than Other People Your Age

Even though there is no definite answer, there are signs that you may live longer than others. These signs are based on scientific evidence and research, so it isn’t just speculation. The best part is that anyone can achieve all of the signs mentioned.

If you struggle with any of the things listed, you can change something about your life today. Your wellness is the most significant part of life length, and each sign focuses on wellness in some way.

Take care of your mind and body, and you’ll become one of the people who may live longest. You only have one life, so you might as well make it the best one possible.

Lifestyle

15 Signs That Reveal A Good Man

15 Signs That Reveal A Good Man


A good man may be hard to find, according to many women. The definition of what makes a man “good” may vary,  but certain qualities are non-negotiable. Many people wonder what traits are essential in a good man. So, what qualities make a man suitable?

A good man, one study found, has certain qualities. Women ranked qualities like honesty, humor, kindness, and dependability as the most important.  But there are other qualities that could be added to this list.

Here is a list of 15 signs that reveal a good man.

1 – Supportive of you

A good man is supportive of you, whether it’s in your career, your schooling, or your creative outlets. He sees what you’re doing as essential, not just secondary to him. He encourages you to pursue your dreams because he cares about you and your interests as much as his own interests. He’s for you, not against you.

good man

2 – Works hard to get to know your family and friends

If you’re in a relationship or married, you know how important it is to you that your family and friends get to know your partner. When he wants to get to know your family and friends, it’s especially encouraging to you. He cares for enough about you to want to know these people, because they’re people you love. When he reaches out to your family and friends, it’s a sign of his love and commitment to you. Keep an eye out for this kind of good man.

3 – Respectful

Respect is an essential quality in human relationships. If your man isn’t respectful of you, it should be a huge warning sign. Disrespect means he’s not really for you, he’s more concerned about himself. Don’t believe the lie that once you’re married, he’ll be more respectful. Disrespect of women can be a sign of entitlement or sexual dominance, one study found. If you see this in your man, you may need to step back in the relationship.

4 – Emotionally open

Men who are emotionally open and in touch with their feelings are better able to listen and encourage your emotional growth. Emotional vulnerability makes your relationship deeper. When you share your opinions and struggles with your man, you should feel his understanding. A man who is emotionally uptight or unwilling to talk about his feelings is immature. This isn’t the kind of relationship you want.

5 – Willing to work on your relationship

A good man values your relationship enough to work towards its growth. He doesn’t blame you but seeks to own his own negative contributions. One study found that forgiveness is an essential element in a relationship. A good man is willing to forgive. He doesn’t hold a grudge or try to get revenge when you do something wrong. Part of being human means you do and say things you may regret later on. A man who’s willing to work to make himself better and work on your relationship is indeed a good man.

relationship meme

6 – You share similar values

This might not seem like a game-changer in a relationship, but it’s a huge contributing factor to a successful relationship. Having similar values means you and your man have the same values related to marriage, family, religion, and character qualities like trust and honesty.

If you disagree on too many of these values, you’ll be clashing all the time. You may not agree on all of these, but a good man is open to discuss his values and is ready to compromise for the sake of the relationship. If he’s refusing to budge on too many of these, he may not be the one for you.

7 – Good manners

Good manners show respect. A good man knows how to relate to people like a gentleman. Here’s a list of some basic manners a good man should practice.

  • Ready to vacate his seat for an elderly person or disabled person
  • Says excuse me
  • Says thank you and please
  • Doesn’t use foul language in public
  • Is ready to help
  • Listens
  • Doesn’t talk about bodily functions in a group of people
  • Chews with his mouth closed
  • Doesn’t talk with food in his mouth
  • Keep his elbows off the table.
  • Washes his hands
  • His cellphone use in public should be private. NO one wants to hear him shouting into his phone at a restaurant.

A good man is mannerly or at least desirous of good manners. Not everyone learned good manners at home, but if your man is as least anxious to learn good manners, this is positive. If he thinks these courtesies are stupid or unnecessary, be alarmed. It’s not a sign he’s a good man.

8 – Reliable

Reliability is critical in a relationship. A good man is trustworthy. If he says he’ll do something, he does it. He doesn’t make excuses for himself. He’s reliable at work and at home. He shows up for engagements or parties on time. If your man is unpredictable, you can’t trust that he’ll be there for you. This quality is essential, so don’t overlook it when you’re considering a good man.

9 – Mature

No one wants to see a man acting like a teenager. It’s unattractive and quite honestly annoying to see a man speaking and acting half his age. It’s a sign he’s insecure. Men like this are usually looking for attention. This type of man may be fun at a party, but he’s not ready for a long term relationship. No woman wants a relationship that requires her to continually rescue her man from his immature activities. If your man acts like this, he may not be right for you.

10 – He’s a leader and a follower

We often consider a good man as someone who can lead, but a good man is one who can also follow.  He is respectful at work of his boss, or team lead. He’s doesn’t need to be in control all the time. Also, he is willing to allow you to lead in areas where you have more experience or know-how. He is neither insecure nor afraid he’ll look “weak” if you lead in the relationship. Good men also know how to lead when needed in various situations which include

  • Knowing how to delegate
  • Respecting that others may be better at a job than they are
  • Motivating the right way, without guilting or threatening
  • Empathizing with others
  • Wanting others to succeed
  • Being humble, but don’t tell everyone they are
  • Wishing the best for everyone around them

11 – Owns his mistakes

A good man owns up to his mistakes. He listens to criticism without getting angry or blame-shifting. He admits he was wrong without drama or playing the victim. No one wants to be in a relationship with someone who wallows in self-pity. It’s selfish and proves they can’t handle criticism. A humble man that owns his mistakes is a good man. He’s humble enough to admit his weaknesses and desirous of change.

12 – He communicates

Studies show that couples who have effective communication have a more satisfying relationship. A good man not only communicates well, but he initiates contact with you. He doesn’t see it as your job to start a conversation. Also, he values your input.

And while may not agree with you on a topic, but he’s open to talking about it. He doesn’t insist that he’s right, or make you feel like your ideas are stupid. A good man will communicate with you because he cares for you.

pop meme

13 – He takes the initiative in the relationship

A good man is an initiator. He initiates in

  • Home projects-he doesn’t wait for things in the house to fall apart before he gets them fixed
  • Finances-he’s saves and budgets
  • Communicating with you.
  • Planning activities as a family or couple
  • With the kids, he’s attentive to what they’re doing and how they’re doing.

14 – Faithful

A faithful man is a good man. He’s faithful by not gossiping about you behind your back or flirting with other women. He’s loyal enough to protect your reputation, your confidences, and your sexual relationship. His love isn’t divided, he’s attentive to you alone because you’re most important to him. A faithful man is a faithful man who you can trust with your life.

15 – Financially responsible

A good man knows how to keep his finances in order. He should understand or be learning about the essential elements of economics such as:

  • Credit score
  • Savings
  • Reasonable financial risk versus bad financial risk
  • Insurance
  • 401K
  • Cash savings
  • Investing
  • Taxes

A good man won’t prey upon you for money, or ask to borrow money from you all the time. On the other hand, he doesn’t place too much emphasis on money. A good man is generous, not stingy. He won’t get angry if you spend money on something for yourself.

Finally, he’s balanced when it comes to money, seeing it as a means, not an end in itself. Lastly, a good man is willing to learn from you if you have more financial knowledge and experience than he does. This is a sign that he’s humble, and that’s good.

good manFinal Thoughts on Finding a Good Man

If you have found love with these traits, hang on to him. He’s a definite keeper. Congratulations–you found a good man!

Lifestyle

11 Red Flags That Reveal Your Partner is Gaslighting You   »

11 Red Flags That Reveal Your Partner is Gaslighting You  


You may not be familiar with the term gaslighting. First of all, it has nothing to do with gas or lighting. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation where a spouse tries to convince their partner they’re mentally unstable. Sadly, this form of mental abuse is quite common in relationships. So, what are some red flags that reveal your partner is gaslighting you?

Where did the term “gaslighting” come from?

The term gaslighting originated in 1938 when a British play called “Gas Light” was released. Then later, in 1940, it was released in the United States as a movie called “Angel Street.”

In the play and movie, an abusive husband tries to convince his wife she’s gone mad. He assures her that she’s stealing and hearing noises, leading her to believe she’s lost her mind.

Eventually, she comes to her senses and escapes her husband’s control. In today’s culture, politicians are sometimes accused of gaslighting when they question an opponent’s intelligence or question their competence.

A similar term to gaslighting is a psychological term, Machiavellianism. This personality trait in a person causes them to manipulate others by using deceitfulness or exploitation to get what they want. They are motivated by a strong desire to pursue their interests at the expense of someone else.

Gaslighters use verbal, mental, or physical abuse to control their victims.

11 Red Flags That Reveal Gaslighting Behavior

gaslighting

1. Controlling behavior

Studies show that gaslighting in marriage indicates a sadomasochistic relationship where one partner imposes mental or physical harm on the other person. The person enjoys their manipulative behavior because they get pleasure from it. This kind of cruel behavior seeks to control you and break down your emotional defenses. The person tries to dominate you so you’ll accommodate their wants and needs. This desire may be a desire for sexual control and or emotional control over you.

2. A gaslighter denies the behavior

If your partner is gaslighting you, he or she will deny they are manipulative. They’ll tell you that you just misunderstand them. They may say to you that you’re the one with the problem. This charade is an effort to stop you from questioning them.

They’ll blame you, play the victim and question your love for them. You may even end up apologizing for doubting their sincerity. It’s twisted behavior and destroys your relationship. Gaslighting tears apart a relationship, stripping away the ability to discuss issues and even disagree with one another.

3. Gaslighting will wear you down with the repeated lies

The gaslighter is tenacious. They’ll repeat their lies to wear you down. They are motivated by their desires and perceived needs. They create false scenarios to confuse you. In their lying, gaslighters use various strategies to break you down. They will try to

  • Brainwash you
  • Discredit your opinions
  • Attack your questions
  • Belittle your thoughts
  • Break down confidence and power

A person who gaslights exaggerates to get their point across. This action puts the gaslighter in control so they can overrule anything you may question or any attempt you make to point out their lies.

They are always right, and you’re still wrong. They will lie about your ability, your looks, or your intelligence to others. If you question these comments, they may call you crazy or delusional. This game puts you on the defensive and helpless to have an opinion on the matter.

delusions
Here are red flags someone is delusional.

4. They trivialize their behavior

If you are gaslighted, your spouse or partner will tend to downplay your concerns or your questions about their behavior. They will turn things around, questioning you to minimize their behavior and cause you to doubt yourself. They may say something like the following phrases:

  • “You are just too sensitive!”
  • “Why are you so jealous?”
  • “What’s the big deal?”
  • “I was just joking.”
  • “Why are you so upset over something that’s no big deal?”
  • “What’s wrong with you?”

These comments seek to destroy your self-confidence and make you feel like you’re in the wrong. You may end up so manipulated that you apologize for simplifying questioning the gaslighter.

5. Emotional pleas

Researchers found that manipulative individuals beg and threaten in their healthy life. They use impassioned pleas to convince someone to believe them or do what they want. It’s emotional manipulation that wears down a person to feel sorry for them and to give in to their pleas.

You may not realize your spouse does this. Perhaps you think they’re an emotional person who feels things deeply. Indeed, you may be reluctant to see how manipulative they are and how they use emotional pleas to get what they want from you.

6.  A gaslighter will attack your friends and family

You know you’re being gaslighted if your partner tries to tear your way from your friends and family. The gaslighter wants you totally for themselves.

At first, you may feel flattered by their attention, thinking they’re devoted to you. But it’s not devotion that motives them. Gaslighters fear exposure and think that your friends will see through their manipulation. They’ll use emotional begging to convince you to spend time with them instead of your friends or family.

They may question your friend’s motives or attempt to convince you that you can’t trust others. Or they will lie about what your friends said or did. Their goal is to isolate you from the outside world so you will be under their control.

7. Gaslighting erodes your self-confidence

If you live in a gaslighting relationship, you will begin to feel less confident about your abilities or your intelligence. This form of mental abuse erodes your self-confidence. You’ll look to the gaslighter for approval. You may apologize to them all the time because you’re anxious about how they’ll react if you disagree.  Out of fear of incurring their wrath, you’ll agree with them all the time.  If you are being gaslighted, your partner may use verbal abuse to manipulate and erode your self-confidence. They may minimize your experiences or knowledge. They’ll tell you you you’re dumb, stupid or an idiot.

8. Verbal abuse confuses you and breaks you down

Researchers found that women who are exposed to verbal abuse are more likely to experience poor mental health and depression. Constantly being accused of being wrong or confused is a form of verbal abuse which can lead you to have a mental breakdown. Verbal abuse includes

  • Shouting or yelling at you
  • Intimidating you
  • Humiliating you in front of others
  • Treating you like child
  • Threatening you harm
  • Demeaning your intelligence or your looks

You may become so anxious or worried while you’re verbally abused, you develop psychological problems. Weirdly, the gaslighter’s prediction that you’re mentally falling apart is true due to their abusive behavior.

9. They will subject you to the hot and cold treatment

Your partner is gaslighting you if they display contradictory behavior-being abusive one minute, then being loving the next. It’s easy to fall prey to a gaslighter’s emotional ups and downs. They are unstable, but you may not see it at first because they’re such good actors. First, they seek to manipulate your emotions and demand your total loyalty.

They know how to play you, being sweet and loving to you. You begin to relax your guard. Just as quickly, they’ll attack you for something you did or said. It makes the relationship an emotional rollercoaster for you. All the while, the gaslighter blames you for his behavior.

narcissist
Here are tips for breaking up with a narcissist.

10. Aggressive behavior

Gaslighters don’t like to have their motives questioned or to hear that they are in the wrong. If you question them, they will push back hard. They may get hostile or even physical with you shoving or hitting you. This behavior is an intimidation tactic to make you stop questions.

The gaslighter needs to be right. He or she will use “put-downs” or character assassination to wear you down to the point that you give up trying to point out issues in their life.

11. Treacherous promises

If you’re in a relationship with a gaslighter, they may promise you they will change. They’ll promise to be less harsh or abusive if you just give the gaslighter some time. They may get emotional and cry or beg you. They’ll tell you how much they adore or love you.

This move may cause you to feel sorry for them and even feel grateful that they say they’ll change. It’s a twisted tactic for future control of you. These yo-yo promises wear away at you until you feel emotionally exhausted and powerless.

gaslightingFinal Thoughts on Red Flags That Warn You of Gaslighting

Gaslighting is more common than you think. We’re all susceptible to being gaslighted. It can be hard to detect abuse in someone we love and care for. It’s easy to tell yourself that destructive behavior isn’t real.

Because gaslighting is a slow process of gaining control, you may not see it until it’s too late. You may suffer from depression as a result of living with a partner who is gaslighting you. Therefore, take action if you think your partner is gaslighting you.

Remove yourself from the relationship immediately. Seek help from a therapist or counselor. Finally, find a support network or friends who can help you gain back your self-confidence and hope.

 

 

Lifestyle

15 Behaviors That Reveal Someone is Subconsciously Falling in Love

15 Behaviors That Reveal Someone is Subconsciously Falling in Love


Falling in love can be a tricky thing. It can be confusing. There may be someone in your life that you vibe with, but you don’t know if they’re actually enamored with you or just flirting a little bit. When you want answers, all you have to do is look at their behaviors. Here are 15 actions that reveal someone is subconsciously falling in love.

15 Signs Show That Someone is Falling in Love With You

1. They Smile When They See You

The way they look at you when you connect in person says a lot how they feel about you. If they are always smiling and seem to glow when you walk into the room, you know they are falling in love. Look to see if there is a difference between how they react when you walk in the room and other people to gauge the reaction.

falling in love

2. Acting Somewhat Nervous

Many people get nervous around someone they are falling in love with. It’s typically quite cute. You may notice them looking embarrassed when they say something somewhat silly or when you make fun of them. They may even just blush by being around you. Be gentle if you notice this, or you may scare them away.

3. They Feed You

In many cultures, food is a way of showing love. If someone is continually bringing you delicious food, that could just be their way of expressing their affection. This action is especially true if the food is homemade. Show appreciation and even consider doing the same in return to speak in their love language.

4. Body Language

Body language can tell you a lot more about someone than the words they speak. Someone who is falling in love with you will show it in their body language. They will likely angle their body toward you or touch you in small ways. Many times, they won’t even be aware they are doing these subtle movements. They may also try to sit near you when in a group setting. Of course, positive body language should not be confused with lust. You should make a point to do little gestures yourself without overdoing it.

5. They Celebrate Good News With You

The good news is even better when you have someone to share it with. If your crush is starting to fall for you, they will probably call you first when something good happens in their life. You call the person who you want to impress. This habit means they enjoy impressing you with the good news. They also probably feel comfortable telling you things and know that you will be supportive and make them feel good about their good news. Be supportive and excited when they call you.

pop meme

6. They Listen

To develop an emotional connection with someone, you need to talk. It’s not enough just to talk. The other person has to listen. You will tell if they listen by if they jump in with their own stories or sit back and let you talk. They may repeat things during the conversation. You’ll also know they were listening if they remember details about the conversation later on. They will remember details and make a point to let you know they remember by repeating certain things back to you. More than anything, they make time to listen to you when you need an open ear. Someone can’t listen if they aren’t there for you when you need them. Of course, you need to be reasonable about your expectations.

7. Using “We”

When someone is falling in love with you, they will start to look at the two of you as a unit. Instead of talking in individual terms, you will notice them saying “we” a lot to friends and family. It’s especially telling if they use “we” when it comes to the future. It shows that when they see the future, they picture you in it. Thinking long term means they plan to take the relationship to the next step eventually.

8. Eye Contact Reveals They’re Falling in Love

The eyes are often called the window into the soul. Someone who wants to develop an emotional connection with you will want to see into your soul to get to know you even better. They will make a point to look into your eyes when you talk. It’s a way to capture your attention. On the other hand, if they avert their eyes every time you talk, that could be a sign they aren’t very interested. Make a point to make eye contact yourself without being creepy.

9. Constant Communication

Communication is key. If someone is interested in you, they will make a point to talk to you often. You won’t be the one reaching out to them all of the time; they will reach out to you. When you speak, the conversation will be natural. It may even get deep at times. These in-depth conversations will help you develop a connection that goes past a physical attraction.

10. Putting Effort Into Their Appearance

If someone is attracted to you, they will likely try to look their best around you. You may notice them putting more time into their hair and grooming. You may also see them wearing certain outfits you complimented in the past. If you catch them by surprise, they may not be done up as well as when they know they are going to see you. They want you to have a physical attraction to them, so they put effort into their looks when they are going to see you.

11. They Compliment You Often

Compliments are one of the easiest ways for people to express how they feel. You may suspect someone is growing enamored with you if they compliment you all of the time. They may compliment you on your appearance. However, someone who is falling in love will also compliment other things, such as your personality, intelligence, and emotional strength. It’s even more telling when someone compliments you often in front of other people. It shows they aren’t afraid to express their admiration for you to the world.

pop meme

12. Playful Teasing

You and your crush should be free to have fun with each other. You may notice them teasing you about small things, such as your little mannerisms and quirks. Of course, teasing should contain a certain amount of respect. The teasing should never cross the line into disrespect. It should be playful and flirty. Of course, you should feel free to fire right back. Likewise, you should keep things as respectful as possible to ensure that you don’t cross any boundaries.

13. Opening Up to You

Everyone has secrets. Some people even have trauma and negative experiences that they carry with them every day without letting other people know. It can be hard to talk about these things, and some people might be worried about being judged. If someone opens up to you, it means they trust you dearly. You should take this seriously. Allow them to open up and show them the support they need. You should also make sure to keep the conversation between you.

14. Friends Comment on It

Someone’s friends may see a connection between two people before they see it themselves. Other people may notice the flirting that you aren’t sure is flirting or not. They may even notice something even more developing. Listen to what other people see. If people are always joking about how you and your crush should just get together already, there’s something there. Your crush may have even expressed their feelings to their friends, and they could just be trying to help things along.

Look at their reaction when people mention an apparent connection. Are they embarrassed or do they shut it down immediately? Someone who shuts it down immediately might be trying to clarify their feelings instead of hiding them.

15. Helps You Without Hesitation

Everyone needs help on occasion. You may need help moving or with homework. When you express that you need help with something, does your crush offer their assistance immediately? They may see this as a way to spend time with you and also demonstrate their value to you. When you need to call someone for help, do you call them first, knowing they will be likely to be there for you? The reliability and quickness to help you are not only a sign that they are into you right now, but it’s also a sign that they will be dependable in a relationship as well.

falling in loveFinal Thoughts on Recognizing When Someone Is Falling in Love

Do you notice any of these behaviors from someone in your life? They may just be falling in love with you, whether they know it or not. Of course, you don’t want to look for things that simply aren’t there. If you don’t specifically notice these behaviors, they may not be as into you as you’d like. That’s okay. Wait for someone else who does demonstrate these behaviors naturally.

Lifestyle

12 Signs That Reveal It’s Time for a Career Change

12 Signs That Reveal It's Time for a Career Change


Do you feel like you’re in a career slump? Even if you’re in a job field that you’ve always loved, it may be time for a career change. Wouldn’t it be great if you lived every day pursuing your passion rather than just punching a time clock?

Did you know that the average person will change their job five to seven times during their lifetime? If you’ve only had three jobs by the time you retire, then you are in the minority. Going to the same company day in and day out can be tiring.

You may find that you’re becoming burnt out with the monotony of it all. In many cases, a career change will do you good.

Signs It’s Time to Change

How do you know whether you should bite the bullet and make a career change or stay and reap the benefits of tenure? There is something to be said for people that hang on to a job until their retirement years, but few make it that far.

Pursuing your passion is not always financially the best decision. However, your mental and physical health can take a toll on you if you’re doing a job you don’t like. Here are some signs that it’s time for you to make a change.

career change

1. You Dread Going to Work

The adage says that if you find a job that you like that you will never work a day in your life. So if you love your career, then you won’t dread going to work, right? Well, work is not always fun, but you should have friends and things about the position that is redeemable.

Now, keep in mind that there will be stress and some days are going to be better than others. However, if you find yourself continually dreading going to work, then it could be a sign that you need to make a change.

2. You’re Always in A Bad Mood at Work

Do you notice that your mood and behaviors are subpar when you’re at work? If every little thing irritates you and you find that the smallest thing sets you off, then it could be a sign that you need a career change.

While there may be certain situations that are irritating, you need to weigh if the circumstances warrant how you feel. In many instances, you may find that you are overreacting out of stress and ongoing angst from the situation. However, a bad situation can take a drastic toll on your overall mood.

3. You’re Apathetic to Change

Do you lack desire? When there is a special project, do you try to hide in the back of the crowd to avoid being picked? If your innovation is lacking, then it may be a sign you need to start packing.

You need to be at a job where your talents can be recognized. If you don’t even care to participate because of past failures or a lack of motivation, then it might be time to move on.

4. Your Focus is Poor

Unless you have a medical condition like ADHD, you shouldn’t have a hard time focusing. However, your focus can be directly linked to your interest. Have you ever tried to get your child to do homework when all they wanted to do was play?

Some parents have described getting their kids to work on an assignment is like nailing Jello to a tree. Can you relate? If you try but cannot seem to focus on the tasks at hand, then it’s time to reevaluate your job.

success quote

5. You’re Unproductive

Were you a star player, but you’ve fallen in the ranks? Do you no longer care if you get recognition or make the top seller list anymore? You may find that you are just totally unproductive.

When your focus is off, and you don’t want to be there, then you will find that doing your job is impossible. Are you missing deadlines, or have you had reprimands because you’re not meeting quotas?

Sometimes people become burned out. No matter how hard you try to push yourself, you may not be able to give the company the productivity you once did. It’s just another indication that a change would do you good.

6. Your Self-Esteem is Suffering

Does your job make you feel lackluster and subpar? A career that once made you feel fulfilled is now making you miserable. Your self-esteem can suffer when you’re not hitting your goals, and your performance much less than that of your colleagues.

If a position doesn’t make you feel better about yourself, but it makes you doubt your abilities, then it can cause damage to your psyche. A person who thinks they can’t do something will not perform near as well as someone who believes they can do anything.

7. Your Heart is Not in It

Many people find that their heart is not in their job anymore, but how can you tell? Well, do you not return calls to customers that you would have answered right away before?

Do you let customer service issues slide or handle a situation in ways that you would have never dreamed of when you first started? Do you drag into work late, take more extended lunches, and are the first one out the door? When you can’t wait to get out of the workplace, you’re just there to collect a paycheck.

When your heart is not in your job, your performance and everything else will suffer. If it pains you to drag yourself out of bed to go to a job that makes you feel miserable, then you might want to change careers.

pop meme

8. You’re Eternally Bored

Are you twiddling your thumbs rather than doing any real work? The only thing worse than being overworked is having little to do. Maybe your company doesn’t need you or business is slow.

Work shouldn’t be entertaining, but you don’t need to be bored out of your mind either. If the days drag on and there are spaces of time when you feel like climbing the walls, then you need to reevaluate your situation. The day can seem like years when you have nothing to do.

9. You Daydream of Another Job

Do you sit at your desk and daydream? Are you jealous of a friend that is traveling the world and seeing exciting places while you’re stuck in the same old job? A career change is inevitable if you’re daydreaming about a way out.

It’s common to think the grass is greener on the other side. However, if you find yourself dreaming about a new job and doing something else, then it may be a sign, it’s time to start the job hunt.

10. You’re Looking for Ways Out

Have you already begun sending your resume out to potential companies looking to hire? Are you networking with other businesses about the possibility of a career change? Some people start searching even though they may not be serious about the job hunt.

However, if you are miserable enough to scroll the help wanted section or join a job search engine, then it’s a sign that you need to pick up the pace and find something.

11. You Don’t Get Along with Management

Are you having problems getting along with people on the job? Do you have an issue with management and their leadership styles? Do you have write-ups and marks against you for insubordination or other offenses because you just can’t get along?

Management issues can be troublesome to anyone who is trying to make a living. While you can expect a certain degree of employee/management disagreements, you should look up to and respect your leaders. If the powers that be at your company don’t support their employees or seem to have a problem with you, then it’s time for a career change.

12. You’re Disconnected from Your Passions

Sometimes the need for a career change has nothing to do with the job and more about you as a person. Do you feel like the passion and drive has been sucked out of you at the end of the day?

If you would rather be feeding the hungry and building houses for the homeless, yet you’re stuck behind a machine in a warehouse, you could say that you are disconnected from your passions.

career changeFinal Thoughts on Deciding It’s Time for a Career Change

A job can make you so miserable that you will become unnoticeable to those around you. It can make you anxious, depressed, and put a damper on your life. Rather than living under the dark cloud, why not make a change?

If you’re only there for the money, you don’t have any connections with employees or management; then you need to go. If you’ve started dreaming up sicknesses to avoid going into work, then it’s time for a career change.

When you’re unhappy, your entire body can feel the stress from a life out of balance. What is your passion? Where do you see yourself? Many people have found that they wanted to work for themselves and never punch a time clock again. Maybe you’re done with the career stress and have an entrepreneurial side that is trying to burst out.

Lifestyle

10 Online Habits That Can Reveal a Cheating Spouse

10 Online Habits That Can Reveal a Cheating Spouse


A cheating spouse can be the biggest heartbreak you experience in life, as well as the reason for the destruction of your home. In this digital age we live in, you may notice unusual online habits of your partner.

They may be using social media to communicate with a lover…or not. If you suspect a cheating spouse, you don’t want to jump to conclusions.

You want to observe and be sure before you make a very serious accusation. If you want to find out for sure, there are certain things to look out for. Here are ten online habits that may reveal a cheating spouse.

10 Online Habits of a Cheating Spouse

Here are ten typical online habits that reveal you could be dealing with a cheating spouse.

cheating spouse

1. Labeling Themselves as Single on Social Platforms

Most social media accounts allow users to display their marital status. You can usually let people know if you are “married,” “in a relationship,” or “single.” If “married” or “in a relationship,” the user can tag their significant other. This status lets the whole world know that you are together.

Look at the “relationship status” of your spouse. If it says “single” or “it’s complicated,” that could be a very bad sign. It shows that they don’t want other people to know they are committed to someone else. They may want to hide their relationship status, so other potential lovers won’t know.

It’s an especially bad sign if you send them a relationship status request, and they ignore it. They likely saw the request. Why won’t they just accept it?

2. Ignoring Your Tags and Comments

As a spouse, you probably have a lot to say about the things your significant other posts. That’s natural! You may comment on their posts and tag them in different posts yourself. When you do this, you expect them to respond to you most of the time.

If your partner ignores everything you write on their wall, it can make you feel like they don’t want to publicly interact with you. This pattern could mean they don’t want someone else to see those interactions.

A cheating spouse may claim they see you all of the time at home, so they don’t see the need to interact online as well. However, if they talk to everyone else who posts on their social media pages, that excuse could be less than comforting. Your spouse may also avoid talking about you online. If you went to the zoo during the day, they might omit that when talking to other people.

However, they may mention other things they did throughout the day. Or, if you both painted a room together, they may post about painting the room but not include you in the post.

3. Being Overly Flirty Online with Other People

You can see the different things that your spouse and friends post on each other’s walls. You may notice that your spouse seems to be especially flirty with certain people they talk to online.

They may call them terms of endearment like “babe” or use heart emojis in their communications for everyone to see. A cheating spouse may make it seem like it’s all in good fun.

However, it shows a certain level of disrespect for your relationship, whether they are cheating with other people or not. Your spouse should make a point not to get too friendly with online acquaintances.

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4. Being Overly Protective of Phone/Laptop

Does your spouse turn away any time they grab their phone to prevent you from looking at what they’re doing? Do they laugh at their phone but then not show you what was so funny? Do they go through extreme measures to keep their phone and social media accounts secure and locked? Are they doing the same thing with their laptop?

There is no reason for them to scream at you if you try to use their laptop to check your email if your phone is dead. This overreaction is an indication they are hiding something. Granted, some people truly value their privacy.

However, there is a difference between keeping things private and being sneaky. A person who values privacy probably did this all along. On the other hand, if this reaction is a new behavior, it can indicate a cheating spouse.

5. Secret Social Media Accounts/Emails

One of the most obvious signs of a problem is if your significant other has secret social media accounts or email addresses. They may have one account that they use for their regular life and others to help them live a secret life.

Some of the accounts may utilize a different name and no picture to help them stay anonymous. They probably think you don’t know about the other accounts. You may discover the accounts if they have multiple accounts to log in and out of on Gmail or Facebook on their phone or laptop.

You likely don’t have access to any of these secret accounts, and they may even get defensive about them if you point them out.

6. Accounts on Dating Sites

Did you happen to notice an app like Tinder or OkCupid on your spouse’s account? Even if they used it to meet you, there is no need for them to still have that app on their phone.

It’s an obvious sign of an affair if they’ve been using the app recently. They may try to tell you it’s not a big deal to have dating apps on their phone, but you aren’t overly jealous. Your spouse having dating apps is a completely legitimate thing to be mad about. They need to be deleted immediately.

Even worse, some spouses may sign up for notoriously dubious websites that pair up married people. Even curiosity about these sites should not be tolerated.

7. Behaving Single Online

People portray themselves in a particular way online. Some people portray themselves as a family person with plenty of pictures and posts about family (including their spouse). This married life is how your spouse should portray themselves.

They may choose to go another route, though, and post pictures of scantily clothed girls and offensive memes that make them look single. Also, they may post more pictures of them out with friends at the club than pictures with you. They may do this to convince people online that they are, in fact, single.

This behavior could attract the wrong kind of attention from people online. If nothing else, it portrays them as someone who wants to be single.

online habits of a cheater

8. Constantly Communicating With People Online

Many spouses cheating online will be glued to their phones. They will always be talking to people online on social media. This chatting could be all through the day as well as at odd times throughout the night.

Of course, they won’t allow you to look at anything they are doing. it’s normal for people to text and message people, but a cheating spouse will allow it to interfere with private time with you and take it to an uncomfortable level.

9. Correspondence With People You Don’t Know

As a spouse, you should know a majority of the people your spouse communicates with. When you look online, do you see them talking to people you’ve never heard of before? Or an ex? Do you see them in pictures with people you don’t know?

There may be a reason your spouse is trying to keep these lives separate. One of the first things that comes to mind is they are having an affair and don’t want you to know. These people may be people they are cheating with or just people who know the person they are cheating with.

10. Lying

Cheaters will often find themselves in positions that force them to lie. They may lie about who they are talking to or where they are going at night to avoid suspicion. They may also blatantly lie about their own life to other people online.

Do you notice them lying about what they did with their day online? All of these lies point to the fact that they might be keeping things from you. A cheating spouse may also lie about things that don’t even matter. It’s a sign of someone who shouldn’t be trusted.

If they lie about small things that don’t matter, it’s probably easy for them to lie about serious things, too.

cheating spouse

Final Thoughts on Detecting the Online Habits of a Cheating Spouse

If you notice more than just a couple of these online habits, you could have a cheating spouse. There are multiple ways to cheat. It could be someone your partner leans on for emotional support behind your back but has never met in person. It may also be someone with whom your partner has a physical relationship.

Finally, it could be that your partner hasn’t found someone yet but is looking. No matter what the situation, you should not have to put up with being second place in your relationship. You deserve someone who is proud of you and the life you are building together as a couple.

If you aren’t feeling appreciated, it may be time to have a serious conversation. If things don’t change, you may be the one changing your relationship status to “single.”

Lifestyle

Counselors Reveal How to Work From Home with Kids (And Still Have Boundaries)

Counselors Reveal How to Work From Home with Kids (And


Telecommuting is becoming increasingly popular today. For the family with children, a stay at home job means that you don’t need to pay the exorbitant daycare bills. However, it takes a unique person to work from home with kids and juggle everything.

Children thrive in their home environment. Having the pleasure of working from home means that you get to be a part of all their milestones. Additionally, you don’t need to worry about what may or may not be happening at the daycare or babysitters’ home.

Setting Boundaries When You Work From Home With Kids

No one can care for your child like you. Consequently, it’s a real balancing act to try to juggle the role of employee and parent simultaneously. How can you bring in the bacon while making lunch and changing diapers too? Here are some healthy boundaries to help you make working from home with kids a success.

work from home with kids

1. Maintain A Routine

Some jobs are a bit more restrictive than others. Whether you can work whenever you want, or you need to punch the virtual time clock doesn’t matter. You must have a routine to be successful.

It’s easy to get your days and nights mixed up when you allow the children to dictate the routine. To feel and be a success in this job setting, you need a schedule. The beauty of being at home is that you can lay in that extra 15 minutes or you can take a longer lunch.

Get up bright and early and start your day. You don’t need to account for traffic on the commute and dressing for success. Just make sure you keep a schedule so that the children don’t get their sleep patterns off balance, which can affect the entire home.

2. Have A Dedicated Workspace

Working from your dining room or the coffee table in the living room will only last so long. You must have a dedicated space so that you can be organized. Also, the children must learn that this area is off-limits to little hands.

If you’re lucky to have a room where you can close the door, then it works out great. No matter where you set your home office, it must be a space that allows you to concentrate. If your children are younger, then you will need to be close to keep an eye on them.

Kids of all ages must learn that they can’t mess with your papers, scissors, pens, or other necessary office supplies. Establish early on that your space is for you only. Having clear rules about your work area will help to learn the importance of leaving you and your things alone in this zone.

If your children are older and more responsible, then you may want to put a sign on the door to let them know when it’s safe to come in. If you’re going to be on a conference call or doing a Skype chat, then you want to put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door.

Having some simple boundaries can save you from some embarrassing situations that can arise as you work from home with kids.

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3. Have A Sitter on Back-Up

While working from home allows you the freedom to watch your children, there may be times when you need to go to the office. Each career has different demands, and you must be flexible to adjust to those requirements. If you need to go to a meeting, then your boss is not going to want you to bring the children along.

Have a person that you can trust to watch your kids for a few hours each week, if necessary. Even if you don’t need to go to the office, you must get out and get some fresh air at times. You and your children will enjoy a break from each other on occasion.

4. Enhance Your Ability to Focus on One Task at a Time

Before you even begin your job where you work from home with kids, you need to be a multi-tasker. You may be changing diapers while talking to your boss or a client. You need to learn the power of the mute button on the phone.

Get a good pair of earbuds that have noise cancellation features. There are times when you need to ask the children to be quiet, and you don’t want the entire office to hear your banter with the youngsters. No matter how hard you try to mold them, your children are not always going to be perfect angels.

It takes a special person to balance the life of a parent and career individual from your abode. Setting boundaries is imperative, but you must also be able to do a juggling act every day.

5. Learn to Drown Out the Chaos

Have you ever seen or been with a parent that has their kids screaming and playing around them and doesn’t seem to be bothered by the noise? You must become that parent who can tune out the chaos to get anything done. No matter the age of your children, you will always have them at your door and in your face wanting and needing you for something.

Sadly, it doesn’t seem to get any better when they are older. To be a parent who works from home with kids, you need not let every little noise bother you. Unless you’re on the call with a boss or talking to a customer, then drown the noise out.

Some parents who work from home like to play classical music in their earbuds while they work. They can still hear the kids should there be an incident that they need to help with, but they can focus on the task at hand, thanks to the likes of Beethoven and Tchaikovsky.

positivity quote

6. Let Workers Know You Have Kids or Pets

Your employer should know if there is anything that can distract you during the day. Some jobs know and expect that there will be children, spouses, and pets that can interrupt, and they are okay with it.

If your job requires you to be on video conference calls, you should let everyone know upfront if a child may come in crying or a dog may bark. It helps everyone else to learn why you may have that mute button on more than the next person.

Don’t wait until you’re in the middle of a meeting before you let everyone know. Working at home can be chaotic on a good day, so it’s best that your company understands your situation and knows what to expect during such events.

7. Carve Out Time for You

Boundaries are essential with your children, but you must also set some personal boundaries to ensure your sanity. Working from home is not for the faint of heart. You won’t get the social interaction that you need.

In your weekly planner, you must include things that allow you to have some free time. You need a night with your buddies or wine with the girls. You must have some time that is just for fun and relaxation that’s outside your home.

When you work and live in the same place, it can be quite overwhelming never to have an escape. Your sanity demands that you have some time away from your home and out amongst other people.

8. Tell Your Children What You Expect

You must tell your children what you expect while you are working. They should have clearly defined rules to ensure your success. While you cannot talk with a newborn about rules, a five-year-old can undoubtedly know the importance of leaving mommy or daddy alone while they’re telecommuting.

When you work from home with kids, you must somehow make money while taking care of their needs. So they need to know why your job is so outstanding and why they need good behavior. Make a rule sheet and enforce these rules to ensure that your days are a little easier.

9. Give Your Children an Approved List of Activities

Your kids need to have an approved list of activities that they can do while you are working. Some great things for them to do can be:

•Color
•Watch TV
•Play on Tablet
•Video Games (with limits)
•Play with Toys

Then they also need to know things they cannot do, like:

•Go Outside Without Permission
•Ride Bike Too Far
•Play with Noisy Toys
•Argue with Siblings
•Get in Swimming Pool or Hot Tub Unattended
•Cook

Keep in mind that these guidelines must be written the age in mind. A 15-year-old can do some light cooking or ride their bike, but you wouldn’t want a seven-year-old to feel adventurous.

work from home with kids

Final Thoughts: Strike a Balanced Life and Work from Home with Kids Successfully

Whether you chose to work from home with kids or you were forced into this role, you need to make the best of the situation. Telecommuting is the wave of the future. It can be a great way to make a living and be there for all your children’s little moments.

Childcare is such a considerable cost, and you can’t forget the savings in transportation costs too. If you can make working from home with kids a success, then, by all means, you should do it. Setting effective boundaries will ensure that your home can be both your haven of rest and place of employment.