Reveal

Breaking off a relationship involves the same process as grieving many times. One of the worst things about this time of grief is that people show their true colors. These shades might not be very bright. We’ve got the breakdown of why people show their true colors in a breakup.

The Science of The Impact Of Personality In Breakups

A study in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin explained how people handle romantic rejection. People reported how the view of themselves changed when their partner broke up the relationship. This research showed how people see themselves after a breakup, which has a direct impact on how they can get on with life.

The true personalities of each partner come through in breakups because these traits are part of the people. Personality traits have a big role in breakups because many people cannot move on for a very long time. They feel haunted and feel as if they did something “wrong.” Being rejected boosts their personality flaws because it brings them to the surface. Many people find their true self must be wrong.

Testing a Relationship Brings Out The Worst In People

When people test their relationships, it’s the time many of them show their true colors. Breaking up is one of the hardest things for many people. It means something went wrong. Many people feel at this time that they’re not enough. When they’re put in the fire, those true colors shine in the light.

They’ve never had to show these colors before because they weren’t at this level of testing. Many people have a fight or flight mentality when it comes to tough times. A side of them comes out that might scare you, or might even surprise you. Even good people will let the worst in them come out when facing a tough time like a breakup.

Negative Behavior

As a relationship ends, some people exhibit negative behavior. They’ve been used to bottling their emotions, but their negative feelings are bubbling over, showing how they feel. Showing these negative behaviors to the partner reveals those emotions coming to the surface. The partner may have never seen this side before. The petty fights finally have a breaking point.

Perhaps the biggest issue here is that those negative feelings when breaking up are how you felt for a long time. These feelings were just hidden until you felt the need to show them. Bringing up these things you dislike about one another won’t change anything anyway. It’ll just make the other person resentful that you never loved their true self.

Dealing With A Narcissist

One of the biggest disappointments to many people when breaking up is finding out you’re dealing with a narcissist. You see the true colors of a person that reveal they’re into everything for themselves.

Your personalities just don’t align because they have no empathy, and they blame everything on you. If you never saw this behavior before, it is because a narcissist is great at luring you in for their good. They tell you what you want to hear.

Everything usually seems great until you hit a pothole. Once you hit trouble, these people show their other face. They only see things in black or white, so it’s either good or bad with them. They think if you aren’t on their side, you’re just wrong.

Thus, they feel if you’re the one leaving the relationship, you’re making the wrong decision because they’re the best thing since sliced bread. The truth is that there might not be anything wrong with you, but it’s all rooted in their personality.

The Mask Comes Off and True Colors Reveal Themselves

Sometimes people show the negative aspects of their personality because they got what they wanted out of the relationship. They don’t need you anymore, so they don’t have to hide their identity. The mask they wore during your relationship doesn’t serve a purpose anymore. They’re able to reveal their face. This face might not be anything like the mask. They don’t care because they’re done with you.

It’s a sad but true part of many relationships. During a relationship, that mask is there to fulfill their happiness. Once it’s over, why would they need it? It’s time to create a new mask for the next relationship.

The Pressure of a Breakup

When you’re going through a breakup, you often feel frayed. It’s as if the pressure of your changing relationship status might make you explode. If someone’s personality is negative, that explosion won’t be pretty. When things are happy and quiet, that pressure is chill. When things start to explode, the volcanic ash can be fiery. Pressure makes it almost impossible to wear a mask. Pressure doesn’t make a person the way they are.

This feeling of pressure just reveals this person’s personality. They collapse under the weight of all of the issues. One cannot hide who they are in pressure. It builds inside them until they have to let it all out in some way.

Pretending Cannot Last Forever

Even if a relationship lasted years and years under a mask, this pretending could not last forever. Sometimes a partner can “trick” the other for years. They show their best self. They say what the other wants to hear. And they might even do what the other person wants. Everything is perfect until the world starts to break.

This person has practiced being the person behind their mask for a long time. This pretending just cannot last forever. The work behind it gets exhausting. They start to crack as the world shakes. In truth, the partner probably saw these little cracks start popping up along the way. These cracks start to look like the world after an earthquake when you breakup. This is because pretending now has now fallen to the wayside. It has nothing to stand on, so it’s thrown to the side.

Controlling The Relationship Breakup

During a breakup, many people try to control and manipulate the other person. Controlling and manipulative behavior comes to the surface because many people feel like they’re falling without a parachute. They’re fearful, so they pull out any stops.

This type of manipulation can be emotionally abusive to the other person. All relationship tools of compromise are suddenly thrown out the window because they feel threatened. This behavior type is hard to change. People have this rooted in their personalities. It can even get worse if you’re going through a breakup where you have to divide things and make big decisions.

It’s Not Your Job To Fix Your Ex-partner

When your former partner shows their personality, don’t try to fix them. When they walk away showing off the worst parts about themselves, it isn’t your job to help them find their way back. They show themselves because they are scared.

They’re in a corner, they’re upset, and they want out. Your ex wants happiness, so they’ll do anything to get it. This desire could mean hurting you with unkind words or behaviors. Know that it isn’t your job to fix these things. You can’t fix who they are. It was never your fault that they wore a mask.

Don’t Become Uncomfortable In Your Skin

Sometimes you don’t see the personality of your partner until it’s too late because they simply aren’t being who they are. Some people are just afraid of being your true self, which is a bad thing in a relationship.

When you’re uncomfortable in your skin with another person, the relationship is built on a lie. Once you hit waves, those true colors splash out of the relationship boat. If someone doesn’t love those colors, they aren’t worth it. It’s not worth it to be someone else for years in a relationship. It’s exhausting for most people to try to please the other person by putting on a facade.

Final Thoughts about Someone Revealing Their True Colors During a Breakup

Sometimes after breaking up, you try to see through the negative behavior to who the person was during the relationship. You try to justify their actions. The truth of the matter is that you have to believe this person when they take off their mask. When they reveal their true selves, believe them. Don’t go back to the good times. These times weren’t real.

When this person was kind to you, yet they were only doing it for their good, it was never truthful. Many people want to believe in the good. Once someone shows you who they are on the inside, don’t go back. It will only hurt you in the end.

Overall, people reveal their true colors during a breakup because everything is stripped away. You might feel as if you lost all of the bright, happy times. But it is up to you to paint a new picture of the future that looks happy and bright.

But always remember–breaking up is a type of loss.

People have their ways of dealing with loss and grief. It’s impossible to change them, so it’s best to move on without them. If you don’t know the true colors of a person from the beginning, it’s only going to end in a storm.

Being a workaholic is an addiction that steals your life and joy. It is an escape from solving real problems and is rooted in more profound issues. Work addiction prevents you from the identification of the real problem and getting rid of it.

People can see workaholism as an advantage and opportunity for career growth. However, that’s not true. Work addiction prevents a person from achieving success, not only in personal life but also in work. Besides, it can have a deadly and negative impact on their health and other spheres of their life.

Like any other addiction, such as drug or alcohol addictions, you must change the behaviors. Treatment begins from admitting to the problem and development of a detailed strategy on getting rid of the habit.

Before we discuss 15 bad habits of a workaholic, we will give you the first piece of advice: don’t hesitate for a minute; start to learn everything you can about the dangers of being a workaholic and its treatment. We say that because their addiction absorbs workaholics’ minds, and it is a rare occasion when they can even realize that they are in trouble.

Here are 15 habits of workaholics which they need to change as soon as possible:

1. Maintaining an Erratic Sleep Schedule

A workaholic is likely to neglect their sleep. They work more than their work requires, or they find additional occupations for themselves. However, the lack of sleep decreases the performance of an addict and only creates an illusion of productivity.

If you noticed that you have a constant lack of sleep, you should immediately establish a healthy sleep pattern. You strive for 7 to 9 hours of sleep nightly.

You need to forbid yourself from using device screens 1 hour before going to bed. Try to sleep in complete darkness. Don’t allow anything to interrupt your sleep.

2. Improper Nutrition

If you eat fast food on the go, while you are late to somewhere and your head is busy with thoughts about your work, it can end poorly.

In addition to this, a workaholic, probably, doesn’t eat food regularly and in proper time, rather, they eat a lot for one intake. That will reflect on their well-being, through conditions of the liver, stomach, skin, ability to think, and on their weight.

To prevent all those nightmarish consequences, a workaholic must set a meal schedule. It should be no less than 5-6 sessions for food intake, and it should be spread throughout the day evenly.

3. Overworking

Whether the addict works physically, or primarily with their brain, their zeal exhausts them. While a person is young and strong, they are unable to notice their fatigue and therefore do not consider it. Nevertheless, as the years pass, their bodies will give them back the lack of care in the form of pain in bones and muscles, as well as poor performance.

You can avoid this by setting strict restrictions on work duration. According to your new rules, you will work only a certain amount of hours a day.

4. Neglected Appearance

A person that is enslaved by their work routine often doesn’t consider the way they look to the extent that they should. They wear old clothes, and their hairstyles betray their self indifference. Workaholics may want to change only in the case that it becomes an obstacle for completing their working tasks.

This habit can harm a person’s socializing. They should put improving their appearance as one of the steps in the list of things to change to stop being a workaholic.

5. Lack of Socializing

Without enough social interaction, you can fall into depression, and your life will seem meaningless. If you’re in this situation, immediately try to acquire friends or acquaintances.

To have productive and enjoyable relations with people, you need to look for soul-mate people: the ones that share the same interests in life. Your world vision has to be approximately similar.

6. Neglecting Health

Workaholics see themselves as insignificant people. They often think that it’s not a big deal if they die before getting old. They may also think that as soon as they will achieve such heights, that at least they will be able to care about their body.

The truth is that their ability to work effectively will decrease with that attitude. Start to do something to fix it: visit a therapist for a consultation. Or, at least conduct research to find advice on how to maintain your health.

7. They Don’t Reflect on Their Feelings

One of our crucial needs is to reflect on our feelings and understand them. Our psyche speaks with us and can tell us if there is something wrong in our life. It may be that you need to change something or to forgive someone, or, vice versa, to stop relations with someone for your own good.

When you are not sparing any time to sort out your feelings, you may make incorrigible errors in important decisions. Include in your schedule time during which you will spend at least 20 minutes reflecting on your inner self.

8. Neglecting Exercise or Physical Fitness

It is likely that work addicts are not doing enough to stay fit. This is especially true for those who work in the office. However, even if you are working hard as a loader in a grocery store, it doesn’t mean that all groups of your muscles are all right. Also, we shouldn’t forget about cardio exercise and other workouts in which you will develop those muscles that are not exercised while you are lifting boxes.

9. Alcohol, Drugs and Nicotine Addiction

When overloading themselves, people don’t understand that they are not robots by nature. People can’t live without relaxation and relief forever. In that manner, they begin to relax and enjoy in an unnatural way.

To stop using substances it is preferable to seek help with a specialist.

10. Neglecting Intellectual Development

When a person is devoting all their time to one function, they have no time to explore the world, to discover new ideas, or to become more versatile. Soon it will become more noticeable. They think that nothing interests them and that nothing attracts them, except for their work.

They will be deeply frustrated when their profession will not provide them enough novelty. To prevent this, start to read books 30 minutes a day minimum.

11. They Forget To Have Fun

One of our bodily needs is to spend time at ease, forgetting about our problems and laughing. You will be surprised when you see what relief and mood improvement it will give you when you will practice spending time in the atmosphere of fun and jokes, from time to time.

Thus, this strict behavior is not better than other bad habits. Your career is supposed to bring some higher satisfaction to you and others, without sacrificing your comfort. However, if you are a workaholic, you are just mocking yourself.

12. They Forget to Dream

Whey is it important to dream about the future, to imagine different variations of it, and to build plans? It may happen that you don’t really like what you currently do. By imagining yourself growing in the future, you may develop absolutely different plans of action for the following years.

13. Multitasking

While a person tries to complete as many tasks as possible, the quality may suffer. It is not good for your memory either. Don’t fall into a fuss, take only the number of projects that you can complete with quality.

To suppress this bad habit, write your priorities in a journal: what are you are going to do today in the first place, and what will you do after completing the most important tasks.

14. They Do Everything by Themselves

There are numerous benefits in a skill to work in a team. If it is in your family, it gives development to your children and prepares them for mature life. It also strengthens relationships in the family.

When you do everything by yourself, you don’t give your relatives a chance to help you. Additionally, you teach your children to be egotistical.

15. They Accept All Propositions

Something in the head of work addicts makes them see themselves as obligated always to say “yes.” It can even be harmful to their career in various ways. If you say “yes” to one thing, you are going to say “no” to another. That means that you can miss more profitable projects. When you always say “yes”, people will not evaluate you fairly.

Final Thoughts on Avoiding the Bad Habits of a Workaholic

To get rid of an addiction is a difficult task. An addict should want to be successful in recovery. However, don’t hesitate; stop wasting your energy in vain. There are so many things that you can achieve if you will free yourself from that abnormality.

Your loved ones have to support you in these attempts. You should find a good therapist to instruct you in more detail.

If it is not you, but your loved one, who needs help, you have to be patient. They can become irritated when you are trying to bring them back to real life. Your close one escaped the real world for a reason. However, if you manage to help them, they will be grateful to you in the future.

If someone wants to be your friend, they’ll let you know in some way. They might start by inviting you somewhere or adding you to their social media accounts. However, true friendship today seems quite rare as we lead busier lives than ever before. We live in a time where making friends online seems like the most comfortable option. It only takes a quick search to find groups where we feel we belong, and we can choose from thousands of people to form friendships with.

Of course, online friends should never take the place of real-life friendships. Studies have shown that even people who have thousands of Facebook or Instagram friends usually only have one or two close friendships in their real lives. We need human interaction to survive, and unfortunately, more people report feeling lonely than ever before. Scientists have even called it a “loneliness epidemic” because of its far-reaching and dramatic effects on our mental health.

This problem doesn’t just affect seniors, either. Many millennials and Generation Z-er’s report feeling lonely also, and this can have disastrous effects on their health. Scientists have found that loneliness carries the same risks as smoking 15 cigarettes per day, which shows how much humans need friendships.

Now that we’ve talked about the importance of friends in our daily lives, we’ll discuss some signs that reveal someone wants to initiate a friendship.

“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” – Walter Winchell

Here are seven signs someone wants to be your friend:

Read to see the behaviors that reveal when somebody wants your friendship.

1 – They enjoy your company and accept you for who you are.

You find that you can let your guard down around them because they seem accepting and nonjudgmental. If someone wants to be your friend, they will take the time to get to know the real you. They encourage you to take off your mask around them and be your full self. A real friend would never judge you for your opinions, thoughts, or beliefs about the world.

If someone wants to initiate a friendship, they will invite you to hang out and take time to see what’s underneath the mask. You can relax and enjoy their company because they have your best interests at heart.

2 – They check in on you often.

If you’ve recently started talking to someone but haven’t established a friendship yet, this person will keep showing effort. If they really want to be your friend, they’ll text or message you often just to see how your day is going. Even if they don’t have much to talk about, they’ll just love hearing from you and engaging in small talk. They genuinely care about your well-being, and this will show with their actions.

Real friendship doesn’t mean you have to put in effort always, but it does mean showing you care by checking in and offering support if needed.

3 – They share deep, meaningful things about themselves with you.

A real friend wants to get to know the real you, and they share their authentic selves right back. They don’t just want to talk about superficial things like shopping and gossip with you. They will feel comfortable sharing their deepest, darkest secrets with you after getting to know you, and they want you to feel okay doing the same. You won’t fear judgment or ridicule from them, and they will feel like they can let their guard down around you. If someone wants to be your friend, they will open up and let you see their true self.

4 – If they want to be your friend, they will put in the effort.

A real friend will not make you chase them down continually or keep you hanging when you ask to do things with them. They call and text you just as much as you do them because they know friendship takes two people to work. Even if they don’t talk to you every day, they still will put in an effort to hang out with you often. They ask about your life and make sure you know you’re important to them.

5 – They give you room to talk and listen attentively.

If someone wants to be your friend, they will allow you to express yourself and won’t judge you for it. Many people don’t feel heard in their relationships, but a real friend will make sure you have time to talk about what’s important to you. They will want to break down your walls and get to know your heart.

• They won’t only talk about themselves.

If someone wants to be your friend, they’ll let you vent or talk as much as you need to. You won’t have to worry about them interrupting or only having a one-sided conversation. This person will make you feel heard and respect what you have to say.

• They will make you feel important by giving you their full attention.

They will give your conversation their full attention and not half-heartedly listen while playing on their phone. If someone truly wants your friendship, you will feel it in their efforts. Your intuition will let you know that this person does not just want to use you or play games. They enjoy the person you are and want to form a friendship with you.

• You can always count on them.

Whenever you need them, you can call them and not feel guilty about it. They give you their time even when they have a busy schedule, and they know you’ll have their back, too. If someone really wants to be your friend, they’ll open up their hearts to allow you in. Real friends make sure you feel safe and comfortable opening up to them and calling on them when you need them the most.

6 – They ask you a lot of questions about yourself.

When someone wants to initiate a friendship, they will ask you common questions about yourself. Some questions may include:

• Where were you born? How long did you live there?
• What do you do for a living? Is it your dream job?
• What’s your favorite type of food?
• Are you married? Have kids?
• What’s your favorite place to travel?
• What did you go to school for?
• What kind of music/movies/books do you like?

These are just a few examples. But in general, people will give some sort of indication they want to know you by asking questions. You can’t really get to know anyone without asking about them. So if someone does this, they might want to start a friendship with you.

7 – They will invite you to hang out.

If someone wants to be your friend, they will want to spend time with you. This may mean asking you to see a movie, go to dinner, go for a hike, or something else where you can get to know each other. They may invite you to a group setting or one-on-one, but either way, it shows you mean something to them, and they enjoy your company.

Casual acquaintances can also turn into a deep friendship. Perhaps your casual friend from yoga class or the gym may want to hang out outside of your usual meeting place. Instead of waiting on them to ask, you can always invite them out for coffee or to your favorite park. In life, we can’t forever wait on someone else to make the first move. They may want to be your friend, but feel too shy to take the next steps.

Just as you should always remain open to friendship, you should also make it known to others when you want to be their friend. After all, friendship is a two-way street, and you never know how someone feels until you ask.

Final thoughts about signs someone wants to be your friend

Sometimes people don’t show visible signs when they want to initiate friendship. They might talk to you occasionally at the gym or yoga, but don’t know how to say they want to get to know you better. You might have to ask them to hang out if you don’t want to wait around for them to take the next step.

However, sometimes, people will show more apparent signs that they like you. For example, they may ask you to hang out, ask questions to get to know you better, or simply allow you to talk about your life. They will put in the effort to keep up the friendship, accept you as you are, check-in with you, and share important facts about themselves.

Many people today feel lonely, so if someone reaches out and makes room for you in their life, make sure you keep that friend close. Technology has mostly changed the way we interact, and real friendship seems rarer than ever. If you find a rare gem which seems sincere in their friendship, cherish them – real friends help us weather the many storms we face in life.