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How to Deal Kindly with a Friend Who is Lousy at Keeping Secrets

How to Deal Kindly with a Friend Who is Lousy

Having a friend who is lousy at keeping secrets is an unfortunate situation that could end your relationship. It’s one of the basic rules of a friendship, but it still happens, none the less. When you realize a friend betrayed you in this way, you’ll likely be shocked and hurt by it.

Unfortunately, some people may have difficulty keeping things to themselves. Even when they have every intention of keeping their word, they may slip up and mention it to someone else.

You can talk to your friend about this in a thoughtful way. That way, there are no other hard feelings that come out of the discussion. Plus, you can take additional precautions next time to make sure that your secret is safe.

Just remember that being kind is vital, especially if the friendship is important to you. Everyone does or says things that they regret, and your friend may be feeling regret already. Since you’re also feeling regret for confiding in them, keep that in mind the next time you have a secret.

What to Do When Your Friend is Lousy at Keeping Secrets

keeping secrets

1 – Confront Them and Tell Them How It Makes You Feel

While you are confronting them about exposing your secrets, this isn’t the only reason you should talk about it. It’s essential to explain to them not only how angry you are, but also how it hurt you. By talking about it, you’re preventing negative feelings from festering.

If you allow negative feelings to fester, you’re only hurting yourself. It can be detrimental to your well-being and mental health. You have to tell the friend exactly how you felt that they exposed your secret.

You should consider the fact that your friend didn’t realize how serious it was when they told your secret. Talking about it can shed light on it if that was the case, and you can help your friend understand. This chat could be all it takes to make them better at keeping secrets in the future.

Keeping the feelings and thoughts to yourself will not help the situation. The only way to make it better is by talking about it. Just remember to be kind as you are explaining it, because your friend may not have realized the mistake.

2 – Forgive Them Even if They Don’t Apologize

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you are saying what they did was acceptable. It also doesn’t mean that you are letting anyone take advantage of you. The purpose of forgiveness in this situation is solely for personal reasons.

Just like talking about it will help you avoid negative emotions, forgiveness will, too. Without forgiveness, it will eat away at you and make it worse. You’ll continue to feel awful about what happened, and it’ll take a toll on your mental health.

So, even if your friend doesn’t apologize for not telling someone your secret, forgive them anyway. Not for their sake, but for yours.

You don’t want to live with negative emotions forever. Unfortunately, if you don’t address it with the person who caused it, it’ll linger much longer than necessary. The feelings may end up staying with you forever, and it’ll severely impact your relationship with that friend.

keep secret
Here are the ways you can tell if someone will keep your secrets.

3 – Stop Telling Them Your Secrets

If you have already talked to your friend about keeping secrets that you tell them and nothing changed, it’s time to reevaluate your friendship. This doesn’t mean you have to stop being their friend entirely. Instead, it just means that you have to decide if the relationship should change from what it is now.

Even if that person is your best friend, you have to think about your well-being when deciding. If they have struggled to keep your secrets, knowing that it hurts you, then stop telling them things.

You don’t even have to tell them that you aren’t going to share secrets with them anymore. If you’re worried about upsetting them, just stop telling them without mentioning it. They may notice so that the conversation may come up eventually, but chances are they won’t figure it out.

4 – Find a Friend Who Is Good at Keeping Secrets

Turn to a friend you can that you can trust. Don’t tell all of the details and secrets to the friend that you know will tell others. Find the friends who will keep any secret you ask them to.

Instead of continuing to tell your friend who can’t keep secrets, turn to a friend whom you can that you can trust.

If you find a friend who can keep your secrets, you will find so much relief. You won’t have to keep secrets to yourself, and you won’t have to stress about your secrets being told.

5 – Ask Yourself If the Friendship is Worth Repairing

Even if you decide that you want to end the friendship, you should still confront the friend. Telling them how it made you feel is essential no matter what the future of your relationship is. Sometimes, it’s impossible to repair friendships after a betrayal involving trust.

If you find that the relationship irreparable, you have to make that decision and stick to it. This outcome means that you shouldn’t text or call the friend. You have to make a clean break, or you’ll always have mixed feelings on the situations.

By making a clean break, you’re allowing yourself to walk away with a clear conscious. You’ve forgiven, explained your feelings, and decided to end the relationship. This move will enable you to heal and move on positively.

6 – Remember That Trust is Important in a Friendship

It is essential for both you and the friend who exposed your secret to remember that trust is important. You can’t have a healthy relationship if there is no trust between the two of you. This could always be a burden on the friendship, causing lingering negative emotions.

If you think that trust cannot be quickly earned back, stepping away may be best. If you decide to continue the friendship, make it clear that your friend has to earn the trust back.

It may take time, or it may occur sooner than you think. Either way, trust is important and will have to be earned back at this point.

The Way to Make Sure Your Secrets Are Always Safe

Keep Them to Yourself

Sometimes it feels so important to get something off your chest. It may be best to ignore these feelings, however, because you never know who you can fully trust. If your secret is serious and you don’t want it out, force yourself to keep it inside.

You never know when a relationship with a friend will end, and they will look for a way to hurt you. Additionally, the one person you trusted may turn to their significant other or family member. The friend may think that the person they choose to tell will also keep the secret, but that is rarely the case.

Just because your friend trusted the person that they told your secret to doesn’t mean that you should, too. Remember that the people your friend trusts have little loyalty to you, so your secrets are not safe with them. If this happens, your friend likely didn’t mean to hurt you, but the damage will have been done anyway.

The only way to completely prevent your secrets from being exposed is by keeping them to yourself. There is one other safe place you can turn to for complete secrecy, however. You won’t have to worry about your secret being exposed, and this is with a therapist.

Talk to a Therapist (not your friends)

Sometimes, keeping a secret to yourself can be impossible. It’s good to talk about what is bothering you, especially if it is causing negative emotions. When this happens, and you don’t want to risk your secret getting out, consider a therapist.

When you tell something to a therapist, you can guarantee that they are good at keeping secrets. This is because they are legally required to keep what you have told them confidential. Even better, a therapist can help you work through it in ways that a friend can’t.

Final Thoughts on How to Cope with a Friend Who is Bad at Keeping Secrets

It is hard to deal with a friend who isn’t good at keeping secrets. You will likely be hurt and feel betrayed, but all you can do is explain to your friend how it upset you. If the friendship is important to you, make sure you are kind when you confront them.

The next time you have a secret that you want to keep, consider other ways you can deal with it. You can choose a different friend to confide in, or you can keep it to yourself.

If keeping it to yourself isn’t an option, a therapist can help, too. Then, you won’t have to worry about a friend keeping your secrets for you. You’ll be able to get it off your chest and feel secure knowing that your secret is safe.


12 Red Flags Your Partner is Hiding Secrets from You

12 Red Flags Your Partner is Hiding Secrets from You

Have you ever had the feeling that your partner has a secret or is hiding something from you? It’s an ominous sense that hits you in the pit of your stomach. It’s important not to jump to conclusions as you may be overthinking the situation. However, you can’t ignore those red flags that keep popping up either.

It would be best if you confronted your partner. You need to tell them all the reasons you are suspicious and let them know you want the truth. What they say next means everything.

If your partner has a secret that they don’t want to tell you, then you may get some big production from them. He or she may become terribly angry and start throwing accusations your way. They will deflect from the matter as they can’t believe that you don’t trust them.

Signs Your Partner is Hiding Secrets

Always trust your gut instincts because something fishy is undoubtedly going on when they have such a strong reaction. Now that you’ve let the cat out of the bag, things may be different between you.

Experts say that there are some hallmark signs that someone is hiding something, even if they won’t spill the beans. Here is a list of 12 common behaviors from someone who has a secret but won’t tell.

1. They’re Being Overly Nice

Is your partner trying to wine and dine you all of a sudden? While it’s not a bad thing to get special attention, it can undoubtedly be questionable behavior if it’s out of character for them. He or she may be attempting to improve your relationship so that you won’t be suspicious of any wrongdoing.

Some may say it’s a sneaky way of covering their tracks. For instance, if you get a dozen roses or your favorite candies, then it may be a sinister approach for them to get you off their trail. Again, you must trust your gut on this one because their motives could be deceptive.

2. They’re Protective of Their Cell Phone

A cell phone is a private device. However, within the confines of a relationship, there must be specific allowances for openness. You should have your partner’s code to get into their phone, and there is nothing that they should have on their mobile that you cannot see.

If they take their phone everywhere, they go, even to the bathroom, then it may be suspicious. How were their previous cell phone habits? Is their newfound obsession with this electronic device new or have they always been this way?

Ask them why they are so guarded over their phone. If you find that they get defensive, then it’s probably because they have something to hide. However, if they release the lock and allow you to browse, then you probably have nothing to worry about.

3. They Continue to Over-React

The first conversation where you expressed your concerns might have made them nervous. They may feel that you are onto their hidden secrets. When someone acts out, it may be that they are doing this to get you off their case.

However, it may also be a subconscious action because all the fear and anxiety they are feeling is coming out. If you simply ask how their day was at work, they may blow up and act like you are invading their privacy.

4. They Turn the Tables and Accuse You Of Cheating

One of the hallmarks of a cheater is to project their guilt onto someone else. If you want to see their phone, then they will say that you are being sneaky or have an issue with trust. Their goal is to make you feel guilt.

The manipulator’s objective is to show you that you can trust them by playing the guilt card. Do you find that they are picking at you for things they wouldn’t usually care about? For instance, did he or she blow a gasket because you spend too much at the grocery store this week?

Have they tried to claim that you are lying to them? These are all red flags that they are picking a fight to turn the attention from their wrongdoing and blame you.

wandering eye
Know the 15 signs of a partner with a wandering eye.

5. They’re Emotionally Aloof

Does your partner seem to be distant, both physically and emotionally? Someone who was always the life of the party and now tends to be quiet could be because they have a guilty conscience. If they have a secret, they may not want to burden you with it.

They are stepping away because they’re hiding secrets. Though it may not destroy your relationship, it could be devastating in other ways. It would be best if you encouraged your partner to share it with you. Let them know that you can work on things no matter what’s happened.

6. Their Schedule is Erratic

Making a life change often requires a shift in activities and new habits. If your partner is experiencing life transitions, then their schedule could be altered. However, if they don’t have a new job or haven’t taken on any responsibilities that you know about, then a shift in their schedule could be suspect.

Keep in mind that hiding secrets don’t always mean they’re cheating. Their new habits may indicate that something is going on in their life that they are trying to keep from you.

7. You Catch Them in Lies

Trust is especially important in any relationship. However, when a person is trying to hide something, their stories might not add up. Something as small as asking them what they had for lunch may spark concern, and they feel the need to lie.

For instance, your partner may tell you that they are going out to lunch with friends during a text message, but in the evening, they may say that they ate at the desk. While it’s impossible to remember every detail of your day, they surely should remember where they ate. Any inconsistencies can point to hiding secrets.

8. Your Partner Cuts You Out of Their Life

If you’ve always done everything together but now you are suddenly uninvited to things, then it’s a red flag. While having a day to hang out with buddies is okay on occasion, if these outings increase or they don’t want you going anywhere with them, then it’s suspicious.

At the very least, this behavior needs to be investigated. You need further information as to why they are acting this way. Are they hiding secrets?

9. Their Body Language Seems Off

Your partner may not need to utter a word; some people can tell that things are amiss because of their body language. Do they avoid looking into your eyes? When someone is hiding secrets and telling lies, they may have a hard time making eye contact.

Has your romantic life suffered? Your partner may close off all affection because they don’t want to be close to you. They are detached and cold because they have created an uncomfortable situation and don’t know how to deal with it.

10. They Don’t Disclose Details

Is your partner vague about their whereabouts? When you ask questions about how their day or activity went, they always answer with “good” or “fine?” When a partner is involved in something they want to keep you out of, they won’t care to recall any stories of their day.

Forget trying to talk or make any plans for the future, either. They may avoid the topic at all costs if they’re cheating.

lost interest
These 12 actions show that a man has lost interest in his relationship.

11. They’re Continuously Staying Late at Work

Have you noticed that he or she is staying late at work all of a sudden? Do they have unforeseen meetings, overtime, and reasons why they can’t come home right after their shift? Partners who are hiding secrets almost always use work as an excuse to change their schedule.

12. They’ve Become Mean

Guilt is a powerful thing. If your partner knows that he or she is doing you wrong, then they may become mean. It’s not that they don’t love you any more or hate you, it’s that they are trying to avoid you at all costs.

They want to make excuses in their mind about why they need to end this relationship. It’s all about the justification for the manipulator. If you find that a person who was once sweet and loving has turned into a monster, then it’s a big red flag.

Final Thoughts on Detecting a Partner Who Is Hiding Secrets and Telling Lies

Over 40 percent of first marriages end in divorce, and over 73 percent of second marriages don’t make it either. The number one reason for marriages to end is infidelity. Even if you’re not married, a committed relationship still faces the same woes.

It’s also important to note that medical or mental health issues can cause changes in behavior. While your partner may not have done anything, they may be experiencing high levels of stress, and it’s altering their mood. Talk to them to see if they will open up about underlying causes for their actions.

No matter what you’re facing with your partner, it’s always important to trust what your gut is trying to tell you. You were given those instincts to help you through situations like this in life, so you need to use them.


Secrets to Success: 5 Essential Business Services for Startups

Secrets to Success: 5 Essential Business Services for Startups

Secrets to Success: 5 Essential Business Services for Startups

Do you currently run a business or startup, or are you about ready to launch one? There a few things more satisfying than being at the helm of a new enterprise, guiding its growth as it scales upwards.

Running a business comes with many challenges. Client acquisition and brand building a chief among them. Success often depends on establishing your company’s credentials.

However, just as challenging is the minutia of administrative tasks required. Fortunately, many of your business services can be outsourced, freeing you to focus on your strengths.  

Keep reading for 5 business services that will benefit your startup.

1. Payroll Services

Building a team means finding people with the right skills and attitude to help you accomplish your goals. It’s important to find people that share your vision and will push to get things done.

However, no matter how dedicated they may be, errors in payroll can have a devastating impact on your corporate culture. Getting your team paid properly and on time allows them to focus on what matters most.

Payroll service providers like will expertly manage your payroll services. 

2. Customer Service

Every successful business has an established way that allows customers to speak with a service representative. Whether it’s for information, to manage a complaint, or address any other concern, customer service has a major impact on business-customer relations.

Outsourcing your customer service saves you the overhead of acquiring the necessary equipment and space. It saves you from establishing protocols and training staff.

Instead, you can lay out your expectations and then leave it to the professionals.

3. Marketing

Marketing is as much an art as it is a science. A marketing agency will have the strategies and experience to best target your audience. They have the know-how to make an impact and get results.

4. IT Support

Businesses have never been more dependent on technology. Regardless of the sector, tech plays a major role in any business.

Outsourcing your IT support means that you have a team with the know-how on-call to manage your network. This means that all your IT needs are expertly managed and supported.

5. Legal Services

Having legal support on retainer means that you have the advice and guidance you need at hand at all times. The value expert legal advice can offer is immeasurable when you consider all the potential liability that a business is exposed to.

Final Thoughts on Business Services

Running a startup is an exciting and demanding time. It’s an opportunity to build something fresh and new. But it’s also a time when the finer details of running a business are addressed.

Outsourcing business services allows you peace of mind, knowing that you have a dedicated team looking after each role. It lets you direct your energies where they’re most needed while ensuring that your company runs smoothly.

For more articles on managing a startup, visit the Starting Up section of our site.


10 Secrets from the World’s Top Travel Bloggers

10 Secrets from the World's Top Travel Bloggers

10 Secrets from the World’s Top Travel Bloggers

Becoming a globe-trotting blogger sounds intriguing in every way. Imagine being able to see the world, all the while earning an income? It’s like being on a lifetime vacation with the perks of earning enough to pay for your travel bills.

But what does it really take to become a travel blogger? The concept of quitting your day job, leaving your home country to travel the world sounds fun but scary.

How do travel bloggers do it? If this is something you aspire to become, then the best way to learn is from those who are already doing it. You can find plenty of individuals and couples on Instagram who has blogs documenting their travels.

Let’s take a look at some of the ways they’re able to achieve this.

1. Go Incognito When Searching for Flights

You’re going to book countless flights while on your travels local and abroad. This means you’ll need to save as much as you can when booking your tickets.

One secret travel bloggers use when they’re shopping for flight tickets is to search while on incognito. Why is this important? Because airlines track your search history to see which routes you’re searching for. Then they hike up the prices.

The way around this is to switch your browser to incognito mode so the airliners are unable to do so. This will allow you to shop around for tickets and double check prices without worry of price hikes.

2. Travel Bloggers Bring Along Comfort Items

Now, there are various tools you can use to help make your travels more comfortable. This is especially important when you’re traveling with children. For instance, you can allow your children to bring along a toy or stuffed animal.

A portable sound machine can also make staying in a strange hotel more comfortable. It will help improve the atmosphere and also drown out loud guests and street noises.

3. Don’t Overpack

You never want to pack too many items when you’re traveling. Not only will it weigh you down, but it’ll empty your wallet. You have to pay for extra luggage that’s not qualified as a carry-on, so more fees to worry about.

Try to only pack what you absolutely need – clothes, underclothes, hygiene products, your laptop, smartphone and maybe a few snacks and drinks.

You’ll also be happy you don’t have to wait around in long lines for your luggage. Too often people lose their baggage because of airliner mistakes.

4. Download All Maps Ahead of Time

You want your maps to be downloaded in advance and in offline mode. This way, you can access them in the event you don’t have cell phone data or Wi-Fi access.

Some areas in foreign countries have no internet access, so you’ll need to ensure you can get to your hotel and other locations without an issue.

It’s a good idea to download the way to your hotel, back to the airport and to the destinations you plan to visit during your stay.

5. Give the Local Cuisine a Try

There’s no better way to experience a culture than to head right to their food markets and restaurants. The types of foods eaten in a particular country is sometimes a complete 360 from what you’re accustomed to in your home country.

This will also give you some interesting content to share with your blog audience. You can even do a video to show the food and the atmosphere of the restaurant you’re dining in.

A lot of people are curious about the foods in different countries and cities, so this will really help your audience out.

6. Get a Filtered Water Bottle

There are two reasons you want to go this route. One, filtered water bottles will ensure your safety, since you’ll drink from tap water quite often in certain foreign countries. Then you can also save money on having to buy bottled water during your stay.

Then there’s the eco-friendliness – you’re not throwing away a bunch of plastic bottles that stay in the landfills, polluting our environment.

7. Bring Hard and Soft Copies of Your IDs

The last thing you need to happen is for you to lose your passport and ID while in a foreign country. It can take weeks, if not months, to sort things out, depending on where you’re at.

So to help ensure things don’t go awry, you should bring along hard and soft copies of your identification cards. You can scan your cards and send them to your email, Dropbox or another cloud service.

If you’ve yet to get your passport or need a new one, you can get an expedited passport. You can purchase it online and have your application processed in just 24 hours.

This is definitely the best friend of travel bloggers.

8. Monetize Your Travel Blog

You’ll need to earn money while you’re on your travels. Since you’re aspiring to become a travel blogger, then it makes sense to earn money doing what you love.

There are different ways you can monetize your blog. For instance, you can use display advertising or earn money promoting products and services via affiliate sales.

Then if you have your own products, you can promote and sell these as well.

9. Fly Around the World for Free

Sure, this sounds a little too good to be true, but it’s really not. At least, not if you play your cards right. It’s all about building up your frequent flyer points. You can visit sites like Frequent Flier, Extra Pack of Peanuts and Frugal Travel Guy for tips and resources.

10. Always Pack Cash

Today, everyone uses credit and debit cards to pay for everything. But if you’re planning to visit third-world countries, then expect there to be cash-only vendors.

Make sure to bring along cash just in case. Plus, if you lose your card, you will have some backup money you can use. Also, note that ATMs aren’t always the norm, so don’t rely on this for cash withdrawals – get it before you arrive!

Becoming One of the Top Travel Bloggers

Wouldn’t it be great to one day be considered as one of the elite travel bloggers? Well, that day could come sooner than you think. But it will take hard work and dedication to pull this off.

With the above tips, you can ensure you’re doing all you can to make your travels easier, so you can continue doing what you love doing – blogging about your travels!

If you need help writing content for your travel blog, you can always hire expert help from Article City. Stop by our site today to find a professional writer to help with your weekly or monthly content!