If you are always seeking permission from others in order to feel good, then you haven’t found true joy. Happiness comes from within, not from gaining the approval or validation of other people. You can’t count on external influences for everlasting contentment, because people come and go with the seasons. Someone who you considered your world could leave tomorrow and the light in your soul will follow right out the door with them.
Of course, we need other people in our lives, but we shouldn’t put all our eggs in one basket. Finding contentment and fulfillment within ensures that you’ll always have your peace no matter what happens outside you. Below, we’ll go over why you should just do what makes you happy regardless of what others may say.
“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.” – Epictetus
7 Reasons to Stop Asking Others for Permission
Here are 7 reasons to stop seeking permission from others and just do what you want instead:
You are the one in the driver’s seat of your life.
When you seek permission from others about every decision, you invalidate yourself. Always needing other people’s approval will diminish your own light and power within, and you will start to second-guess your intuition. Remember that no one can truly make you happy but yourself, so it doesn’t make sense to rely on anyone else for validation. Any time you feel unsure about your life and future, simply go within and get in touch with your higher self for wisdom.
Many people have good intentions, but they can only speak from their own experiences and perspective about the world. They don’t know your heart as well as you do, so they can only offer advice based on their own opinions. Trust in yourself and allow the universe to guide you along your path. Other people can certainly help if they’ve been in your shoes before, but don’t make plans based on only their approval or disapproval of your choices.
You create your own joy.
Like we said in the beginning, relying on other people for happiness will only result in misery if that person decides to leave one day. Even if they stick by your side forever, no one person can fill all the holes in your soul. You must do the work yourself to find inner fulfillment. Whether that means following the dreams you’ve been too scared to go after, creating a business that gives you more free time, or training for a marathon, you should always do what makes your soul ignite with passion.
Of course, others can enjoy the ride with you, but they can’t steer the course of your destiny. You must take the reigns and charge full speed ahead toward what makes you come alive. So many people look outside themselves for answers and wonder why they can’t find them. Truthfully, the answers look different for everyone, so you must get in touch with your own soul if you want clarity about your life.
Seeking permission from others takes up valuable time.
If you always need permission from others, you will spend countless hours trying to get them to see things from your perspective. Instead of simply doing what you want, you’ll have to consult with them first and potentially waste time arguing with them about your plans. However, they may never see things from your point of view, which may lead to you giving up your dreams before you even take the first step. Needing validation creates an additional unnecessary step in the decision-making process.
You can inform other people about your plans or dreams, but don’t feel the need to engage in further conversation, especially if they want to argue. As long as you have made the choice that feels right in your heart, you don’t need anyone else to agree. Use your time wisely and work on your dreams rather than talking to others about them.
You’ll feel great freedom when you depend only on yourself.
It makes you feel empowered when you decide you don’t need anything but yourself to feel happiness. You don’t need permission from anyone to feel happy; it is your birthright. So, go ahead and claim what’s yours, and don’t let anyone squash what makes your little heart feel full. When you wake up to the realization that you create your reality, you’ll never have limiting beliefs again.
As the grand designer of your life, you’ve created everything you see around you. The job you have, your relationship and friendships, and the places you go everyday have all been a part of your masterpiece. Your own energy and vibrations attracted these experiences into your life, whether you knew it at the time or not. Since we all create our own realities, you simply need to align yourself with what you want, and then take action to manifest it.
Other people can help you reach your goal, but you hold the power within to enact change all by yourself. You don’t need anyone’s permission to initiate change or create a life you love. This brings us to our next point…
You can’t possibly please everyone, so why bother?
Scientists have found that people who want to please others all the time tend to experience higher levels of mental stress. They usually dislike confrontation, so they simply go along with the status quo just to keep the peace. People-pleasers also tend to have low self-esteem, so they don’t want to say anything that will cause the group to look down upon them. Wanting to make others happy doesn’t mean you have to neglect your own happiness in the process.
Seeking to make everyone happy only leads to misery, because it usually means you have given up your own opinions and beliefs in order to avoid guilt or shame. Those who engage in chronic people-pleasing tend to have an intense fear of rejection and will do anything to make sure people like them. However, if everyone likes you but you don’t feel the happiness within, you’ll only feel resentful and empty.
Other people must take responsibility for their own happiness, so don’t make another job for yourself by catering to their needs. Take care of yourself, and everything else will fall into place. Those who want the best for you will stick around, and those who took advantage of your kindness will leave once they’ve realized they can’t use you any longer.
You’ll lose yourself by seeking permission from others.
When you do everything to ensure others’ happiness but neglect your own, you will surely lose yourself in the process. As we said before, making other people happy doesn’t have to come at the expense of your own joy. First, you need to cater to your own health and fulfillment, and once you’ve filled your cup, you’ll be in a better position to truly help others.
People pleasers tend to have problems setting boundaries and remembering their own needs. However, you’ll start to get burnt out if you always put everyone before yourself.
You drain your own energy by giving away your power.
When you put other people’s opinions above your own, you give away your inner fire. Some people who don’t have the best intentions may take advantage of this, seeking to take control of your life. To avoid this, you should never ask people’s advice unless you really trust them and know them well. Even then, only ask permission from people whose lives will become affected by a decision.
For example, if you’ve been asked to move across the country for your job, you would obviously need to talk it over with your spouse or family first. However, if you don’t have anyone relying on you, you don’t owe them anything. It will only drain your energy reserves if you constantly need validation from other people.
Final thoughts about why you shouldn’t seek permission from others
Needing approval from others about every little thing leads to disempowerment and unhappiness. If you have a goal of being happy, you’ll only create more steps toward the final destination by relying on others to give you this feeling. In other words, you can’t count on anyone else to bring you happiness. However, when you depend on solely yourself, you find the freedom and wisdom you’ve been seeking.
Asking the advice of others doesn’t necessarily cause problems, but requiring someone to validate your choices will steal your power. If they don’t approve, then your dreams have just been canceled because the person you needed permission from didn’t agree. So, why even ask for others to approve of your decisions? If you’ve thought them through and have made them from the heart, then you’ve done the best you could.
Remember, others can walk the path with you, but they can’t walk it for you.