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10 Ways to Stop Dwelling on the Past (And Create a Happier Future)

10 Ways to Stop Dwelling on the Past (And Create

Life tends to be all about sinking or swimming. Once you’ve experienced the pain of taking on too much and feeling like you’re drowning, it teaches you life lessons. It takes a great deal of effort to stay afloat. However, there is something about rock bottom that teaches you things that you can never learn when you are swimming along peacefully.

When you are at the bottom, you learn how to fight and claw your way back to the surface. You learn the power that you have within you that will sustain you in life. Now, the biggest challenge is to learn how to break away from your past and stop dwelling on those mistakes; it’s easier said than done.

Do you tend to ruminate on your past, and your mind plays a loop of your failures? Why do you keep playing the same movie time and again in your head, and you’re expecting the ending to be different? When you are constantly dwelling on the past, you will reopen wounds that have closed, and it will self-sabotage your determination.

How can you move forward when you are so preoccupied with what’s behind you? Letting go is never easy, but if you don’t get control of your thought processes, then days, weeks, and years will pass without change. To put the past in the past, you must first be willing to take a step forward.

10 Tips to Help You Stop Dwelling on the Past

It’s time for you to move on, and you need to let the universe know that you’re ready for a fresh start and change. There’s no need to be scared because you will stagnate if you never alter or change in life.

Everyone will agree the aroma that comes from stagnant water is pungent. If you’re ready to move on from your past and begin again, here are ten tips to help you.

1. Remember You Write the Story

The great thing about your life is you get to write your story. You will have many chapters, but each of these chapters will tell a story of a time or period you endured. Some chapters will be exciting and full of love and hope, which others will reflect on the darkest times in your life.

You will have support characters, people who are there for only a season, and those who shake things up. Take a good look at your novel and identify the chapter you’re currently in. Now, the great news is that you get to write the ending too.

Remember, no one else can write your story like you, so make sure that you give the novel plenty of interest and love.

2. Learn from Your Mistakes

The book of your life would be a pretty boning read if there were some intrigue, mystery, and drama. Consider a baby learning to maneuver in their new world. It takes them several times to fall before they learn to walk.

However, the young child soon learns what they need to do so that they don’t fall. The same analogy applies to you. You eventually know what you need to do to keep from making the same mistakes in life. Rumination and dwelling on the past only hurt you. Use your failures as motivation for the future.

3. Trust the Process

Do you ever wonder how your life would have been if you had made different choices? Did you know that you’re one decision away from a whole new life? Each choice you make is important because it defines that chapter in your life’s story.

Sometimes, things won’t work in your favor, and other times, you will master it all. The connection to why these things happened will become apparent in the future. If you’re constantly dwelling on the past, you might resist the good things in store for you.

You must trust the process and give yourself a pat on the back that you’ve made it thus far.

4. Look to the Future

Your strength may be limited, but the things you can achieve in your life are limitless. Keep in mind; you are utilizing strength and energy when you’re dwelling on the past, worrying, or angry. It’s exhausting trying to focus on things that are out of your control.

Letting go is so tricky, but in time you will learn to build and trust. The wonderful thing about letting go of excess baggage is that you’re clearing the way for new adventures. There are reasons for change, and when you resist these changes, you could be preventing some of the most extraordinary experiences of your life from occurring.

5. Find Inspiration in Others

Do you think that you’re the only one with problems? Life is all about the ups and downs and the valley. It seems so lonely when you’re at rock bottom, but you may use this time to draw inspiration from others.

One of the most powerful platforms ever created was Ted Talks. People share their stories of facing insurmountable odds and coming through victorious. You can find just about any topic and subject to draw strength.

If you aren’t much for podcasts, then you might try an online support group. It’s incredible what it does to your spirit when you read of others and their tales of the human spirit’s ability to overcome.

6. Meditation and Developing a Proper Mindset

Dwelling on the past puts you in a negative mindset. There have been numerous studies done on the effects of negative thinking. If you speak positive things, then you will be optimistic.

However, if you are continually living in a negative realm, your life will have a pessimistic outlook. You can change your thoughts by using meditation. If you’re new to this art form, you might want to try a guided meditation to erase negativity.

Your mindset means everything, so it’s time to change it for good. Stop looking at your past as a life sentence. It’s in the past for a reason, and you need to leave it there. Through mindful breathing and meditation, you can conquer some of your biggest inner struggles.

7. Stop Playing the “What If” Game

Does any of these questions sound like you: “What if I didn’t marry that person?” “What if I didn’t buy this car?” “What if I didn’t move across the country and try this adventure?” There are lots of questions that you ask yourself daily that you cannot answer.

While it’s hard to look at things positive when they turned out to be a disaster, try focusing on the right parts. For instance, your marriage might have been a wreck, but you have a beautiful child that you adore. If it weren’t for that marriage, then you wouldn’t have your baby. Even the darkest of clouds can have a silver lining.

8. Develop a Positive Mantra

You’re human, and it’s nearly impossible to stop all the evil thoughts. Every time thoughts of your past come up and bother you; you need to have a mantra that you quote to clear your mind.

For instance, if you found yourself once addicted to drugs and alcohol, but you’ve been clean for ten years, it’s a significant achievement. When your mind wanders back to those horrible events, tell yourself that you’re more powerful than the pain, and you will use your life for good.

You can use your past to help others who are not as far along on the journey. Then, you’re taking the bad that happened to you and turning it into a positive. Rumination and dwelling on the past are only useful if it’s helping someone else.

9. Stop Playing the Victim

Some people love playing the victim card because it feels good to get attention.

At some point in your life, you must move from victim to victor. Dwelling on the past should never be something you use for people’s pity or to get attention. Plus, this negativity will hold you back and won’t allow you to move on.

10. Get Help

If no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to get past the past, then you need to seek professional help. Therapy is an excellent outlet for you to vent your frustrations, process them, and then move beyond that stagnating position.

It’s never easy to change, and there are times when you want to run away and hide. However, there’s something very freeing when you talk about the issues with a third party who is objective. They can help you make sense of the madness and put things into perspective.

It would help if you found the strength within you to move past these events. You know how annoying the old record players were that would get stuck on a scratch and play the same sentences over and over?

Well, you’re doing the same thing inside your head. Ruminating on your mistakes can cause excessive anxiety, depression, and other mental health disturbances. You owe it to yourself and your family to move on.

Final Thoughts on How to Stop Dwelling on the Past

Dwelling on the past holds you back from entering the next significant phase of your life. Consciously work at removing these barriers from your mind. Only then will you be free to attain all your goals and dreams.


12 Things to Stop Taking for Granted Today

12 Things to Stop Taking for Granted Today

Taking for granted everything you have in your life will only leave you feeling bitter and jaded. Feeling gratitude for what you have allows more abundance into your life because no matter what you have, you’ll feel happy. In short, the more content you can become with less, the more you’ll stop taking things for granted.

Having an honest appreciation for the simple things in life will take you a long way because you won’t have to play the comparison game. Keeping up with the Joneses’ doesn’t bring lasting happiness because material things and accomplishments can’t fill your soul. Therefore, you should feel grateful for what life brings you and practice non-attachment to anything material. This way, no matter if you have $5 or a million, your happiness remains the same.

With that said, people often take things for granted in life because they’re always in the pursuit of more, not appreciating what they already have. Make sure you stop taking these things for granted in your life.

“If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.” – Oprah Winfrey

Here are 12 things to stop taking for granted today:

  1. Your family.

Sure, the family may get on your last nerve sometimes and make you want to pull your hair out, but they’ll stick by you during the tough times. We spend much of our daily lives with our family. So, of course, it becomes easy to take them for granted after a while. However, it sometimes takes the difficult moments in life to garner newfound appreciation for them. If you get stuck by a flat tire or lose your job, you’ll probably call someone in your family before anyone else.

Our family usually makes up a big part of our support system. Next time life throws you an unexpected hurdle and your family comes through to help you over it, make sure you tell them how grateful you are for them.

  1. Friends

Your real friends will stand the test of time, no matter what you go through in life. The best kinds of friends also feel like family because they support you, cheer you on, and want the best for you in life. Life goes by pretty quickly these days, and we can’t always make time for our friends due to our jobs, kids, and other responsibilities. However, in your free time, make sure you give them a call or invite them over for coffee and show them your appreciation.

  1. Life in general

Life deals us all different hands, and sometimes we may feel shorted by our circumstances. However, there’s nothing in life you can’t overcome with willpower and determination, no matter what situation you find yourself in. Even with all the turmoil and struggles, life is still so beautiful. When you take for granted the experiences life gives you, it leaves no room for growth or introspection about the lessons you’ve learned.

Having an appreciation and remaining grateful for life, even in the hard times, ensures that nothing can bring you down. A positive attitude helps you rise above the most turbulent and stressful situations because you know that you have all the power to conquer the storm.

  1. Nature

Most of us take for granted the very elements and laws of physics that allow this Earth to exist. Without nature, we couldn’t survive on this planet, so we ought to treat our home with a lot more respect. You can show your thanks and appreciation for Mother Earth in many ways, from picking up trash along the road to merely feeling grateful for a home-cooked meal. Next time you go on a road trip or find yourself in a forest or on the beach, make sure to cherish all the gifts that nature gives you.

  1. Love

Without love, life wouldn’t have very much meaning, and we’d all be robots. The love we receive from our friends, family, and significant others helps make us whole and gives comfort in a sometimes cruel world. You can find genuine love everywhere if you keep your eyes and heart open to it because life is just a mirror. Whatever you feel inside, you’ll see on the outside. Maybe if we all found love inside ourselves first, the destruction and hate would all disappear.

  1. Your job

We all have to find a way to make an income somehow–unless we got fortunate and won the lottery or perhaps have a trust fund. Unfortunately, most people don’t enjoy their jobs and have them pay the bills. However, even if you don’t love your career or job, you can still find the little blessings that make it worth it. Even having a way to put food on the table and provide for your family should make you feel grateful for your work.

  1. Yourself

We see an enormous amount of pressure on people in the world today, and these high expectations can put a damper on your self-esteem if you feel you don’t measure up. Give yourself some credit, though, and remember all the beautiful things about who you are. Please don’t compare yourself to others, either, because you have no idea what they deal with behind closed doors. Make sure to give yourself much self-love and care and show appreciation for the beautiful person you are.

  1. Where you live

As kids, we love to explore and get to know the world around us. When we grow up, however, our hometown starts to look a little drab and boring. We want to expand our horizons and dream of seeing new places, but we start taking for granted everything we used to love about home. Even if you live in a pretty uneventful area, you can always find something to be thankful for about where you grew up. You probably have so many excellent memories with friends and family in your hometown, so make sure to cherish them.

  1. The ability to learn new things

We came here to expand our consciousness and learn individual lessons, as well as to perform specific duties for our soul’s evolution. In life, you may go through periods where you feel unmotivated or uninterested in learning new things, and that’s normal. However, taking for granted your ability to absorb information will leave you stagnant if you don’t eventually decide to move forward. This doesn’t have to apply just to job training or career-advancing classes, either. Anything you do in life that makes you happy and offers a productive outlet is worth learning about and practicing.

  1. Your health

We only get one physical body in our lifetime, so it’s essential to care for it and treat it with respect. Taking for granted your health will only cause problems later in life when it’s not so easy to reverse the damage done by lifestyle choices. Start practicing good habits today, such as exercising, eating well, getting enough sleep, and meditating so you can reap the many extraodrinary benefits of a healthy body and mind.

  1. Your time

Many people don’t show appreciation or gratitude for their time, spending it frivolously. When you have moments of free time, you should spend them doing things you enjoy or that bring positivity into your life. It does not matter at all how you spend your time as long as it provides some type of benefit to you. If you plop down on the couch after work and spend hours in front of the TV, you probably won’t get much out of it.

Your free time shouldn’t be used as an escape from reality, but rather, a way to enhance your reality.

  1. Your energy

We all have a limited store of energy, so don’t allow people to drain your batteries if they offer nothing in return. Use your energy wisely, on people and activities that bring you joy and peace. If you spread yourself too thin, you have nothing to give to yourself and others. We can only do so much in a day, so get in the habit of saying “no” to anything that causes you too much stress. You have to put yourself first because no one else will.

Final thoughts about things to stop taking for granted

Life comes with its share of troubles, but that doesn’t make it any less beautiful. Remaining grateful and showing appreciation for life allows you to see through a different lens. Even if the world crumbles around you, finding the silver lining makes everything much more comfortable to cope with. If you have sturdy shingles over your head, loving family and friends, a good job, clean water, and food on the table, then you have everything in the world at your fingertips.

Wanting more will only leave you feeling disillusioned after a while. So, the only way to make it out of this life with a shred of sanity is to keep moving forward and give thanks for what life gives you. Keep your mind on the here and now, and let everything work itself out, because it always does in some strange way.


10 Money Saving Tips to Stop Impulse Spending

10 Money Saving Tips to Stop Impulse Spending

Financial problems cause emotional suffering and lots of turmoil in your life. When you have a spending habit that is out of control, it can cause anxiety, depression, and even relationship issues. Impulse spending is the worst type because it’s as powerful a drug and just as addictive.

You may become a serial shopper or someone who shops to fill that void in your life. This type of impulse spending happens more than you think. Do you find that you are wasteful with money? Think of all the savings you could have right now if you just started conserving when you were younger?

Even if your bank account has more zeros than the national deficit, there’s no time like the present to make some changes. If your mindset is “Carpe Diem,” and you have no thought for tomorrow, then it’s time to alter your thinking.

Here are ten easy ways to stop your impulse spending and stash cash into a savings account.

1. Return Products You Might Have Sitting Around (Don’t Live with Your Buyer’s Remorse)

Most people have things sitting around their homes that they have every intention of returning, but they never make it to the store. It could be things that you order from a catalog, which are inconvenient to return.

The sad fact is that you probably have a lot of money sitting around in those returns, and you could put that cash into a savings account. If you waited so long that you are past the return period, no worry. Post your unused items on a local Facebook yardsale page, sell it on eBay, or host a tag sale.

So, reject your buyer’s remorse–return those items and stash that cash for a rainy day.

2. Wait 24 Hours Before You Make Purchases

How many times have you bought something on an impulse, and it sits at your home unused? What about those designer boots you had to have but live in a tropical climate? Sure, you had the best of intentions, but you didn’t give much thought to your purchase.

If you feel that you need those new shoes, a purse, or a wallet, you should think about all your purchases before you spend the money. The chances are if you go home and think about it for 24 hours, you will change your mind.

Think and rethink each purchase, and you will see a big difference in your checking account. Buying on impulse is a dangerous habit.

3. Seek Counseling

Do you know there are support groups and counseling specifically for those who have impulse spending problems? Spending money can be addictive, so you may need a therapist to help you make better choices regarding your money.

If you cannot find local support groups, then you can find some online help. Many times, there is an underlying mental health issue like anxiety or depression that can fuel the fires of impulse spending.

4. Start Eating and Drinking at Home

One of the biggest money wasters is eating out. Do you grab a gourmet coffee on the way to work each day? If you spend $5 for a large frosted cappuccino, and you did that for five days a week, you would spend approximately $1,300.

Now, think of all the things that you could do with an extra $1,300 each year? If you got a coffee maker at home, then you could make coffee and save. Coffee savings is just the tip of the iceberg; think of all the other ways you can conserve.

Stop giving your money to fast food establishments. You pay $2.49 for a soda at a drive-through, but you can get a whole 24 pack for less than $8.00. Do the math, and you will see how much you waste by eating and drinking out.

5. Set a Household Budget and Stick with It

Do you have a household budget? Did you know that more than 33 percent of the population doesn’t maintain a budget? Budgeting is important because it’s like a financial roadmap from where you are today and where you want to be in the upcoming months.

So, the best thing that you can do is to plan for tomorrow. If you want to buy a new home or a car, you must start setting money aside. It’s better than waiting until the time comes and having no money to put down. Sadly, you will get higher payment amounts because of the lack of cash.

6. Start a Savings Account and Make Automatic Deposits

Do you have a savings account? Did you know that the average person only has about $4,000 in their savings? While that may seem like a nice chunk of change, it’s barely enough to survive one month without income.

If something should happen that you lose your job, have a major medical setback, or have other financial hardships, small savings like that could be depleted overnight. Try having money taken out of your check and put into a savings or money market account.

Even better, why not start a 401K where your money is waiting for you when you retire, and you can always borrow from these funds if you need it.

Want to earn money online to bulk up your savings account? Here are thirty money-making ideas.

7. Do The Envelope Method

Most people don’t like to use cash these days, and with safety concerns, it’s not advisable. However, for those who have impulse spending issues, a credit card is deceptive. Many people spend cash more frivolously because they can’t tangibly see it.

The envelope method is an old trick where you put so much cash that you allow yourself to spend in each envelope. Once the money is gone, you can’t spend anymore. Some people prefer money because they feel they can keep a better handle on their finances with it.

You can also do this method electronically if you have a bank or accounting program that tracks your spending and separates it into categories.

8. Talk to a Financial Advisor

A financial advisor can look at your income and tell you the best ways to make your money work. They will look at your current standing and how your retirement will be if you don’t change your ways. With the instability in the Social Security system, it’s not safe to take bets on this program for retirement.

It usually doesn’t cost anything for an evaluation. When you learn how to invest your money correctly, it can net you some serious change.

9. Make a Menu and Meal Plan

One of the greatest expenses you will face each month outside of your mortgage is your grocery bill. Did you know that the average family of four spends over $1,287 each month in groceries? Thankfully, you can reduce that bill by a few hundred dollars by learning how to meal plan.

Remember the old Adam Sandler song, “Lunch Lady?” The song states that yesterday’s meatloaf is today’s sloppy joe. You need to develop that mindset and repurpose leftovers. Do you think these restaurants that you patronize don’t recycle?

Take, for instance, the legendary chain you love called Wendy’s. Their famous chili is made from the hamburger leftover from the day before. If you’re shocked, you shouldn’t be as all eateries do things like this to save.

Those hamburgers sit in the warming drawer for a certain amount of time. When the time limit expires, they move them to a container to save in their walk-in cooler. The next day, they use them to make their soup.

It’s a considerable saving to them because they would throw away all that meat if they didn’t have such a plan. Now, you need to implement the same kind of philosophy.

You can take leftover hamburgers and turn them into a soup, tacos, or delicious shepherd’s pie. Just think of all the food that goes to waste that you could repurpose.

10. Learn How to Effectively Grocery Shop

If you run into the grocery store when you’re hungry and shop for the things you need for the day, you will probably do some impulse spending. Did you know that there is a right and a wrong way to go to the supermarket? Here are some tips that you should follow.

•Never shop when you are hungry

•Make a list and stick to it

•Shop early morning for discount prices and markdown deals

•Use the sales flyer to plan your meals

•Sign up with a service that will pay you money for trying products you use

•Do not go to the store every day or every couple of days

•Make one big trip a week and don’t keep going back

•Have a dedicated shopping day

•Buy in bulk and divide and conquer your budget

The list seems to be overwhelming, but it’s not that bad once you get the hang of it. Smart shopping can save you hundreds each month and thousands on the year.

Final Thoughts on Knowing When It Is Time to Stop the Impulse Spending

It’s important to stash money into savings for a rainy day. Those rainy days happen to everyone, whether you’re prepared for them or not. Thankfully, even if you only have a dime in your account, you can change that quickly.

It doesn’t have to be big and significant changes, just start small and start building. You will be so glad that you stopped the impulse spending once you have a nice nest egg built for your family. Who doesn’t want to stash money into savings?


12 Ways To Stop Regretting And Make Peace With Yourself

12 Ways To Stop Regretting And Make Peace With Yourself

Few people can confidently say that experience no regrets. Sadly, a part of life is all about doing things that you won’t look back on favorably later. It is how we, as human beings, learn and grow!

But regrets can grow bigger and bigger until they become very painful for you. They can even reach a point where you begin to obsess over them – and that leads to more regrets! So how can you stop this cycle from continuing? Here’s how a psychologist explains 12 ways to stop regretting and make peace with yourself.

1.    Alter Your Current Course

If you find yourself always unhappy or feeling like you’ve missed out, then this might be a sure-fire sign that you need to change something in your life. According to California Polytechnic State University Professor of Psychology Shawn Meghan Burn, Ph.D., regret can be a way of the brain, informing you that change is needed.

Consider that perhaps you need to:

  • Consider going back to school.
  • Switch jobs to something more fulfilling
  • Step away and leave an unhealthy relationship
  • Reach out to others and restore relationships
  • Learn how to express your emotions, both positive and negative
  • Travel and explore the world
  • Move to a new home
  • Take better charge of your physical, emotional, and mental states.

holding a grudge

2.    Know That You Are Fallible

It’s natural for humans to make mistakes at some point – that’s just how it is, says child and adolescent psychiatrist and author Mark Banschick, MD. Always regretting and lamenting the faults in your decisions, however, isn’t healthy. Understand that your mistakes aren’t you, and you’re still a wonderful person, worthy of love despite your mistakes.

If you don’t learn to accept and move on from your mistakes, that prolonged sense of regret may interfere with:

  • Your sense of self
  • Aspects of your relationships
  • Your career
  • Your ability to care for your health
  • Positive thinking

3.    Apologize

Many of us would feel that we ought to carry our regret as punishment for hurting someone, says Burn, but this sort of guilty and shameful form of sorrow is unhealthy and unhelpful – especially if there is nothing else that can be said or done after the events have passed. Research shows us that it is better for everyone involved to:

  • Avoid victimizing yourself, both internally and externally
  • Offer a genuine and honest apology without beating yourself up
  • Try to make it up to them; then, amend things the best you can
  • Use this as motivation to change your behavior and future actions for the better

It’s very likely that the person you may have hurt will forgive you upon this apology, and won’t hold it against you. They may not even remember what you had done, or considered it hurtful!

4. Don’t Keep Thinking “Should”

Are you someone who struggles with positive thinking, and defaults to self-hatred instead? That may be the cause of your depression and anxiety. Research has shown that if you’re continually inflicting yourself with self-loathing, it will also effectively affect your mental state as well – alongside all of the actions and behaviors that spring from it.

This, as you can imagine, isn’t healthy for you or the people you love. Instead, it would be better for you to:

  • Stop fixating on your past mistakes, and what you should’ve done.
  • Understand and accept that the past is unchangeable
  • Focus on the things you can do better in the here and now
  • Actively chase after the positive things you desire, like love, acceptance, and gratitude.

5.    Alter The Narrative

We have all grown up with this fantasy of what would be the ideal version of our lives. While this fantastical vision serves as the ideal we want to work towards, reality – and the people within it – aren’t perfect, says Burns. Our life will always fall short of our plans and aspirations, and that’s perfectly normal and fine. So instead of continually comparing reality to your fantasy, try:

  • Reminding yourself that setbacks and mistakes are natural, and a part of life
  • Making different choices wouldn’t necessarily have resulted in a better experience and would’ve likely created a different set of regrets instead
  • Imagining how much worse it could’ve been
  • Think about how this is probably the path you may need to take to a better result you can’t yet imagine
  • Take the time to count the blessings you’ve received and the lessons you’ve learned
  • Give yourself credit for the things you did do right instead

Remember that it is impossible to perfectly replicate your imagined ideal life – reality and the people within it just don’t work that way

6.    Determine How Your Thoughts Affect You

Cogito ergo sum – I think, therefore I am. Philosophers, scientists, and entrepreneurs from all walks of life and across the entire breadth of human history – both modern and ancient – have understood the power of one’s thoughts. It’s essential to pay attention to the ideas that arise in your brain, says Banschick, for they:

  • Affect your feelings
  • Dictate your behavior
  • Shape your intentions
  • Cultivate your motivations

If you find your thoughts to be affecting you negatively, then you might want to consider changing them in some way or another. The goal is to make them work for you and support you instead of hindering you and filling you with regret.

7.    Find Triggers For Regretful Thoughts

Have you ever asked where your regrets stem from? What triggers the negativity within you? According to Mark Banschick, it’s a good idea to understand what exactly triggers that mindset of self-loathing and regret, so you can be mentally prepared for when such situations arise. This way, you can better combat them via techniques like:

  • Deep breathing exercises
  • Affirming statements
  • Repetitive mantras
  • Positive imagery
  • Taking the time to step back out and ground yourself

8.    Forgive Yourself

Too often, we forget that we ought to forgive ourselves for the sins of our past as well. It may feel right to carry around self-directed guilt and regret as penance for our actions, but research shows that learning how to forgive ourselves is an essential step towards becoming a better person. Cultivating self-compassion and self-forgiveness is crucial to overcoming regret, says Burns. Here are a few things you can do to get started yourself:

  • Be genuine in your self-directed apologies
  • Forgive yourself, truly and deeply
  • Understand that you will have imperfections, and those are acceptable and fine
  • Free yourself to accept your mistakes and lapses of better judgment
  • Do your best to apologize to those you think you’ve affected
  • Trust yourself to do better, and to come out a wiser and stronger person

9.    Be Grateful

When all you can see is mistakes, regret, and shame, it can be easy to forget about where things have gone right. This, of course, is an unhealthy sort of rumination that only serves to hinder you and tear you down. Instead, try to:

  • Start a mindfulness journal
  • Set aside a few spare moments every day to dwell in gratitude
  • Jot down a few things you value and appreciate every day
  • Do your best to focus more on the positives over the negatives

Doing this regularly will help you pay attention to the good things in your life, which may help uplift your mood and spirits over time!

10. Forcefully Notice Negative Self-Talk

All that self-directed negativity is often untrue and rooted in shame that can hurt you. Thus, it means paying close attention to your thoughts as they unfold – and correcting them quickly – is a crucial step in the fight towards making peace with yourself, according to Banschick. This outcome happens because:

  • Most negative internal monologue needs to be scrutinized and challenged with positive statements to create a healthier mindset
  • These statements cannot be allowed to go checked and accepted as fact
  • It’s usually more likely that the negative self-assessment is untrue and inaccurate
  • The more they are repeated, the more deeply internalized they will be
  • Letting such thoughts and feelings continue will sabotage your attempts and doing better
  • They’ll often discourage you from improving yourself in the future
  • Catching these thoughts in the act allows for immediate self-correction
  • Practice makes perfect – repeated self-correcting will help replace these negative statements with truthful and positive ones over time

11. Ask Who You Want To Be

A consequence of being so rooted in one’s sense of shame and regret is that you end up focusing primarily on what you are, at the expense of what you want to be. After all, how can you move forward in life when you aren’t sure as to where you’re heading? On the path to self-acceptance and peace, it’s essential to:

  • Take stock of your positive qualities
  • Learn how to embrace your good traits
  • Consider what attracts people to you and makes you desirable
  • Acknowledge and take credit for your positive contributions to those around you
  • Decide on what positive traits you want to expand and truly embody
  • Remember that there are things about you that are worth appreciating and cherishing

This way, you can focus on what makes you unique and how you can continue to uplift yourself and those around you.

12. Focus On Self-Compassion

When struck with regret and guilt, we forget that we really ought to be kind to ourselves as well. Exercising self-compassion becomes even more critical if you’re someone who’s vulnerable to melancholy and depression, as research shows us that being kind to yourself is a necessary form of self-care.

This means that while taking the time to grieve for lost possibilities is alright, it’s also essential to move on. If you find yourself lodged in the past, you can try moving forward via:

  • Reminding yourself that some things were just beyond your control
  • Acknowledging any self-directed pain and anger you have, before explaining why you deserve kindness and forgiveness
  • Deliberately pardoning yourself for the mistakes you’ve made.
  • Taking a look at the context in which you made a choice. But remember your needs and wants at the time of decision

Final Thoughts On Some Ways To Stop Regretting And Make Peace With Yourself

It’s normal to have regrets, but it’s almost essential to try to overcome them. You have so many positive things in your future; why bother spending all that time looking to the past and being trapped in memories of things you can no longer change?


Psychology Reveals How to Stop Blaming Others for Your Shortcomings

Psychology Reveals How to Stop Blaming Others for Your Shortcomings

Your parents worked hard to teach you how to do the right thing, but you didn’t need any help in learning wrong as it seems to come naturally. One way that people justify their bad choices is to blame others. From an early age, you learned how to point fingers at your siblings, friends, or even the dog when you were caught doing something wrong.

What is it about human nature that makes us want to shift the burden of wrong over to the next person? Do you remember being a kid and telling your parents not to blame you as it was your little brother’s fault? Even though you may have done the deed, bringing an innocent party into the equation somehow made you feel justified.

One of the first things that children learn to be generous with is guilt. You’re not alone, because everyone is guilty of finger-pointing. As adults, you often find it even easier to find fault in others and blame them for your mistakes or things going haywire.

It goes against your nature to accept responsibility for your shortcomings. Have you ever felt good about biting the bitter pill and admitting to your faults? There’s an old saying that the person who is always smiling has thought of someone to blame.

There’s a difference between owning up to your mistakes and continuously blaming yourself for everything. While it’s not healthy to live under the staggering weight of guilt for things beyond your control, you should feel guilty about doing wrong intentionally and then make it right.

Blaming others for your shortcomings may give you a skewed sense of satisfaction. However, it doesn’t last long, and it won’t do anything to resolve the issues. If you allow the blame game to become a habit, you can blame others and live in misery.

Eight Ways to Stop Blaming Others

It takes a strong person to stand up and own your mistakes. Nobody wants to make themselves look bad when they falter. However, you’ll find that people will respect you more when you admit to your shortcomings and do something to rectify them.

Are you tired of being a pawn on the board of the blame game? It’s never too late to get off the fault-finding merry-go-round and admit when you’ve missed the mark. Here are some positive ways to stop blaming others for everything wrong in your life.

1. Admit That You Have a Problem

It may sound clichéd, but the first step to solving a problem in your life indeed is to admit that you have one. Of course, it feels uncomfortable to bear the scarlet letter of blame. However, you will feel the burden lifting when you come to terms with your habit of not accepting responsibility for your actions.

Now that you realize that you have a problem, you can formulate ways to resolve it. However, this isn’t going to be an easy task, especially since the blame game is ingrained in the human experience. Owning up to your problem is the most significant hurdle.

Sometimes, it’s difficult to confess your faults because you have low self-esteem. Maybe you feel better and morally superior when you’re blaming others for your shortcomings. Unfortunately, it’s a slippery slope that can cause many conflicts in your personal and professional relationships.

2. Assess Your Life

While finding your responsibility in a current problem may be difficult, reviewing the past problems may shed some valuable light. Perhaps you can make this a section of your journal or make a separate one for this soul-searching task. Look back on some of the major upheavals in your life and see how your pattern of blaming others may have begun.

Maybe it started when you were a child when it helped to get out of trouble by pointing out your siblings or making them partially responsible. Understand that this behavior is normal for children but is unacceptable and detrimental in adulthood. As you review past problems in your life, notice if you still hold grudges and blame others.

3. Learn to Take Some Blame

A prime example of people shifting all the blame to another person is usually observed after failed relationships. If you’ve ever been in a relationship that went sour, you may have self-medicated your heart by making everything your ex’s fault. If this has become a life pattern, perhaps you see a string of broken relationships in your rear-view mirror.

This scenario may also be real if you have a long history of failed friendships, skipping from one job to another, or uncompleted tasks. Sure, it’s easy to blame the ex, your former bosses, or everyone else in your family and friends. Did you ever consider that you share some of the blame?

Of course, this doesn’t apply to toxic or abusive relationships, but you may have made poor choices along the way. It takes two to make a relationship and two to break it, so be woman or man enough in owning your mistakes.

Discovering how to be responsible for your shortcomings can make it less difficult to fix personal or professional relationships. Try to be a non-judgmental observer and see your place in the dilemma. Learning to share blame may take time, but it’s worth it.

4. Learn the Language of Problem Solving

Whether you have a problem at home or work, you’re never going to get anywhere by blaming everyone else and becoming a martyr. It only adds fuel to the fire and breaks down healthy communication.

Do you listen to yourself when you are talking to your family, friends, or coworkers about a problem or weakness? Avoid starting sentences with “You Always” or “You Never.” These toxic prefaces are classic blame shifters. You ALWAYS forget to check the calendar, or You NEVER let me know things in advance. It’s ALL your fault, and I BLAME you. Do these remarks sound familiar?

If you are partially or fully to blame, be strong, and own your mistake. Say things like, “Wow, I messed up on this, or I should have been more attentive to details, and it’s my fault.”

Review the problem together and see how things could have been done differently for a successful outcome.

5. Learn to Listen

There’s a big difference between hearing and listening. It goes against every grain of your fiber to listen to someone honestly pointing out your mistakes. The ability to take constructive criticism is a trait of a wise and experienced person.

Hold your tongue and listen to another person’s point of view instead of going on a rampage of self-defense and denial. When you truly listen with an open mind and empathy, it may open your eyes to what you are doing wrong and need to fix.

6. Learn How to Apologize

Yes, we often feel smug and self-righteous when blaming others for our mistakes. It’s especially satisfying if the situation truly was another person’s fault. When you shift the blame, you may be encouraged for a while, but you’ve not won a real victory.

Watch others’ reactions when you confess your faults and genuinely apologize. You garner respect from other people and for yourself when you take proper blame and ask forgiveness. We are all human, and we make mistakes, so learn how to admit, apologize, and learn from your blunders.

7. Learn from Your Mistakes

Einstein allegedly said insanity is to repeat the same actions and expect a different outcome. Once you’ve practiced how to own up to your weaknesses, learn from it, and find ways to remedy them. When you mess up and continue doing the same thing repeatedly, your apologies don’t mean much.

Maybe some of the problems in your personal and professional relationships stem from how you manage your time. Perhaps you are a perennial people pleaser and overextend yourself, so you don’t want to disappoint someone. Take full responsibility for your actions and work on changing how you do things in the future.

8. Learn to Let Go

How long have you nursed that grudge and pointed fingers at people for things that happened years ago? When you realize how your words and actions fit into the puzzle, it becomes easier to leave it in the past. It’s even truer when you’ve learned to recognize your faults and own up to your mistakes.

From now on, refuse to be bound by past blunders and failures and put them behind you. Even if someone is rightfully to blame for causing you grief, find the grace to forgive. Above all, learn to admit your faults, forgive yourself, and learn from past errors.

Final Thoughts on How to Stop Blaming Others for Your Shortcomings

When it comes to the infamous blame game, nobody comes out a winner. If you’ve noticed a pattern of blaming others for everything that’s gone wrong, then it’s time to take a serious self-assessment. Owning your faults and inadequacies can help you overcome them, and you’ll gain more respect from others and for yourself.


7 Reasons to Stop Seeking Permission (and do what makes you happy)

7 Reasons to Stop Seeking Permission (and do what makes

If you are always seeking permission from others in order to feel good, then you haven’t found true joy. Happiness comes from within, not from gaining the approval or validation of other people. You can’t count on external influences for everlasting contentment, because people come and go with the seasons. Someone who you considered your world could leave tomorrow and the light in your soul will follow right out the door with them.

Of course, we need other people in our lives, but we shouldn’t put all our eggs in one basket. Finding contentment and fulfillment within ensures that you’ll always have your peace no matter what happens outside you. Below, we’ll go over why you should just do what makes you happy regardless of what others may say.

“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.” – Epictetus

7 Reasons to Stop Asking Others for Permission

Here are 7 reasons to stop seeking permission from others and just do what you want instead:

  1. You are the one in the driver’s seat of your life.

When you seek permission from others about every decision, you invalidate yourself. Always needing other people’s approval will diminish your own light and power within, and you will start to second-guess your intuition. Remember that no one can truly make you happy but yourself, so it doesn’t make sense to rely on anyone else for validation. Any time you feel unsure about your life and future, simply go within and get in touch with your higher self for wisdom.

Many people have good intentions, but they can only speak from their own experiences and perspective about the world. They don’t know your heart as well as you do, so they can only offer advice based on their own opinions. Trust in yourself and allow the universe to guide you along your path. Other people can certainly help if they’ve been in your shoes before, but don’t make plans based on only their approval or disapproval of your choices.

  1. You create your own joy.

Like we said in the beginning, relying on other people for happiness will only result in misery if that person decides to leave one day. Even if they stick by your side forever, no one person can fill all the holes in your soul. You must do the work yourself to find inner fulfillment. Whether that means following the dreams you’ve been too scared to go after, creating a business that gives you more free time, or training for a marathon, you should always do what makes your soul ignite with passion.

Of course, others can enjoy the ride with you, but they can’t steer the course of your destiny. You must take the reigns and charge full speed ahead toward what makes you come alive. So many people look outside themselves for answers and wonder why they can’t find them. Truthfully, the answers look different for everyone, so you must get in touch with your own soul if you want clarity about your life.

  1. Seeking permission from others takes up valuable time.

If you always need permission from others, you will spend countless hours trying to get them to see things from your perspective. Instead of simply doing what you want, you’ll have to consult with them first and potentially waste time arguing with them about your plans. However, they may never see things from your point of view, which may lead to you giving up your dreams before you even take the first step. Needing validation creates an additional unnecessary step in the decision-making process.

You can inform other people about your plans or dreams, but don’t feel the need to engage in further conversation, especially if they want to argue. As long as you have made the choice that feels right in your heart, you don’t need anyone else to agree. Use your time wisely and work on your dreams rather than talking to others about them.

Jim Carrey

  1. You’ll feel great freedom when you depend only on yourself.

It makes you feel empowered when you decide you don’t need anything but yourself to feel happiness. You don’t need permission from anyone to feel happy; it is your birthright. So, go ahead and claim what’s yours, and don’t let anyone squash what makes your little heart feel full. When you wake up to the realization that you create your reality, you’ll never have limiting beliefs again.

As the grand designer of your life, you’ve created everything you see around you. The job you have, your relationship and friendships, and the places you go everyday have all been a part of your masterpiece. Your own energy and vibrations attracted these experiences into your life, whether you knew it at the time or not. Since we all create our own realities, you simply need to align yourself with what you want, and then take action to manifest it.

Other people can help you reach your goal, but you hold the power within to enact change all by yourself. You don’t need anyone’s permission to initiate change or create a life you love. This brings us to our next point…

  1. You can’t possibly please everyone, so why bother?

Scientists have found that people who want to please others all the time tend to experience higher levels of mental stress. They usually dislike confrontation, so they simply go along with the status quo just to keep the peace. People-pleasers also tend to have low self-esteem, so they don’t want to say anything that will cause the group to look down upon them. Wanting to make others happy doesn’t mean you have to neglect your own happiness in the process.

Seeking to make everyone happy only leads to misery, because it usually means you have given up your own opinions and beliefs in order to avoid guilt or shame. Those who engage in chronic people-pleasing tend to have an intense fear of rejection and will do anything to make sure people like them. However, if everyone likes you but you don’t feel the happiness within, you’ll only feel resentful and empty.

Other people must take responsibility for their own happiness, so don’t make another job for yourself by catering to their needs. Take care of yourself, and everything else will fall into place. Those who want the best for you will stick around, and those who took advantage of your kindness will leave once they’ve realized they can’t use you any longer.

These 20 lifestyle changes can help you become a happier person.
  1. You’ll lose yourself by seeking permission from others.

When you do everything to ensure others’ happiness but neglect your own, you will surely lose yourself in the process. As we said before, making other people happy doesn’t have to come at the expense of your own joy. First, you need to cater to your own health and fulfillment, and once you’ve filled your cup, you’ll be in a better position to truly help others.

People pleasers tend to have problems setting boundaries and remembering their own needs. However, you’ll start to get burnt out if you always put everyone before yourself.

  1. You drain your own energy by giving away your power.

When you put other people’s opinions above your own, you give away your inner fire. Some people who don’t have the best intentions may take advantage of this, seeking to take control of your life. To avoid this, you should never ask people’s advice unless you really trust them and know them well. Even then, only ask permission from people whose lives will become affected by a decision.

For example, if you’ve been asked to move across the country for your job, you would obviously need to talk it over with your spouse or family first. However, if you don’t have anyone relying on you, you don’t owe them anything. It will only drain your energy reserves if you constantly need validation from other people.

Final thoughts about why you shouldn’t seek permission from others

Needing approval from others about every little thing leads to disempowerment and unhappiness. If you have a goal of being happy, you’ll only create more steps toward the final destination by relying on others to give you this feeling. In other words, you can’t count on anyone else to bring you happiness. However, when you depend on solely yourself, you find the freedom and wisdom you’ve been seeking.

Asking the advice of others doesn’t necessarily cause problems, but requiring someone to validate your choices will steal your power. If they don’t approve, then your dreams have just been canceled because the person you needed permission from didn’t agree. So, why even ask for others to approve of your decisions? If you’ve thought them through and have made them from the heart, then you’ve done the best you could.

Remember, others can walk the path with you, but they can’t walk it for you.


18 Uses of Body Language To Stop Immediately

18 Uses of Body Language To Stop Immediately

Nonverbal communication can speak just as loudly – if not more so – than verbal communication. If you perform great types of body language, they can enhance your message, improve people’s positive thinking of you, and impress those around you. If your body language is bad, though, you’re more likely to wind up pushing others away.

Some types of bad body language are so common that you might not even realize that you’re performing them and, therefore, hurting other people’s impressions of you.

Here are 18 uses of body language to stop immediately.

1.    Not Smiling

In social interactions, smiling is a great way to show off your confidence and openness. It is something we may often forget to do, especially in more formal situations, but smiling can have positive effects on many social relations. When you smile, others will:

  • Be more receptive towards you
  • Feel more open around
  • React with more positive thinking to you
  • Offer a smile back

However, do note that you should not give out fake smiles, as most people can very easily tell when someone is being insincere, even if they only pick up on it subconsciously.

body language

2.    Rubbing The Neck

Rubbing your neck seems like a natural and innocent gesture. In fact, you might be rubbing your neck just to relieve stress or tension in the area. Unfortunately, doing it around others might send the wrong message. Others might interpret this move as:

  • Anxiety in a social situation
  • Discomfort with the people you are interacting with
  • Dislike of a situation or the people around you

3.    Eye Rolls

It’s often said that the eyes are the window to the soul. That’s probably why the way you use them can convey so much information.

The act of rolling your eyes is a common and obvious sign of disrespect. It may be harmless in your mind, especially as an act of non-verbal communication around people you are close to, but it is just plain rude around many other people. Rolling your eyes expresses:

  • Boredom
  • Annoyance
  • Disagreement
  • Sarcasm

4.    Looking Around Too Much

When you’re in a conversation, you should remain present within it. Looking around the room constantly and paying insufficient attention to the person you’re talking to is just plain bad manners, and it gives the impression that:

  • You are looking for someone else to talk to
  • The conversation topic is not interesting or engaging enough
  • You don’t respect their time or company

5.    Bad Posture

When you stand around with bad posture, you’re conveying a huge list of different negative pieces of information to those around you. Here’s how:

  • With slumped shoulders and a caved-in chest, your body language indicates that you have surrendered and are not willing to take on challenges.
  • When you slouch, you are telling others that you are insecure and have low self-esteem.
  • General bad posture shows others that you lack the energy and enthusiasm to carry the conversation.
poor posture exercises
Learn the exercises that help correct poor posture.

6.    Playing With Hair

During any conversation, you should avoid playing with your hair. It’s distracting to the people you talk to. As such, you should refrain from running fingers across your hair and scalp, fidgeting with your hair, or even twirling it in a playful way. If you don’t stop, it can both damage your hair and send the wrong message, and it’s a habit that’s tough to break.

7.    Invading Personal Space

No one likes it when someone else enters their personal bubble. Unless it’s somewhat you have a very close relationship with, it’s generally not a good idea to invade the personal space of any person. This is especially true with strangers or in business relationships.

As a general idea, you shouldn’t get closer to another person by 1 and a half feet, and remember that someone’s personal space isn’t yours to invite yourself into. Be aware of where and how you stand, as you can still get into a person’s bubble unknowingly.

8.    Fidgeting

When talking or listening to someone, the act of fidgeting may be perceived as disrespectful to them. Actions such as twirling your hair, tapping your fingers or feet, touching jewelry,  or constantly checking the time are considered as fidgeting. Others may think that:

  • You are bored
  • You don’t think the person is worth talking to
  • You would rather be somewhere else
  • You are impatient for the conversation to be over

9.    Using Repetitive Gestures

A lot of people aren’t too sure what to do with their hands in conversation. Where should they rest? How much movement is too much movement? The latter question is more crucial than the former.

Many people who don’t fully talk with their hands fall victim to using repetitive gestures. Repetition speaks of anxiety and can make your point even less clear, as your gestures are supposed to match your speech. Use gestures sparingly and only when it is natural or helps emphasize a point. Each gesture should be strong, clear, and end cleanly.

10. Biting Fingernails

Biting your fingernails is a big no-no in social interaction. It’s a bit of a gross habit, to begin with, and it’s quite unsightly to do in front of other people. People often bite their nails when they are nervous, too, so others may consider you anxious when you use that gesture. Plus, it damages your nails and leaves a terrible impression on others.

11. Never Showing Acknowledgment

People often discount the importance of showing acknowledgment during social interactions. You need to show the people you are interacting with that you are listening to them. It helps them feel like they’re being listened to and it’s a basic sign of respect. You can show acknowledgment by:

  • Giving a certain amount of eye contact
  • Smiling at them
  • Nodding when you agree
  • Making the appropriate facial expressions

respect other people

12. Crossing Legs or Arms

It’s natural for a lot of people to cross their arms and legs when they sit. However, if you’re speaking to someone, this might make you look defensive. It could send a message that you`re not open to interacting with another person or hearing what they have to say, or that you feel uncomfortable in their presence. If you keep your arms and legs uncrossed and your hands visible, you will appear more trustworthy.

The act of crossing your arms and legs when sitting comes naturally for most people, but during social interactions, that action may give off the wrong impression. It looks like you’re uncomfortable and like you aren’t open to interaction.

To begin with, you can appear more trustworthy to others when your hands are visible. But crossing arms and legs, in general, creates a closed posture that makes you seem defensive, and it’s commonly read as an anxious motion – so if you’re trying to convey a message of positive thinking, it’s not going to work that way!

13. Furrowed Brow

During social interaction, it is important to maintain a neutral expression. The act of furrowing your brows and scrunching up your face may give others the wrong impression. Effects of furrowing your brows at someone include:

  • Unintentionally intimidating them, or coming across as hostile
  • Discouraging them from opening up to you
  • Causing them to be more defensive during the interaction

14. Acting Distracted

Giving someone your attention when they are talking is a common courtesy. It shows that you are engaged in the conversation. As such, it’s not a surprise that people find it rude when you look distracted while they are talking.

Even if you are paying attention, if your body language conveys otherwise, it will still offend the other party. So make sure you look at the other person you are speaking to and engage in active listening practices.

15. Shuffling

The way you walk affects people’s perceptions of you. People that walk with a straight back and a puffed chest, for example, have a more confident stance. In fact, there’s an unusual positive side to this behavior. Confident walkers have a lower chance of being mugged, so there are even more reasons to stop this body language.

On the other hand, walking with a slouch and shuffling along clearly speaks of nervousness and fear, and it indicates a lack of confidence that can make you a target for criminals.

16. Eyes Glued To Your Phone

If you are at a social gathering, it is respectful to put your phone away and engage with the group. After all, you’re surrounded by people – why would you need to check social media when real-life social activities are right in front of you?

Refrain from openly checking your phone and only do so if it is a prior obligation or emergency. With fewer distractions, it is easier to be present in conversations with others.

17. Bad Eye Contact

Eye contact is the foundational building block of almost all forms of social interaction. Good eye contact conveys confidence while a lack of it can make you seem untrustworthy, and over-the-top eye contact can come across as aggressive.

You want to find the balance between intimidating staredowns and unconfident avoidance. If eye contact is not comfortable for you, try to communicate that to the person you’re speaking to, especially if it’s someone you may work with or be around for a while.

18. An Odd Handshake

More often than not, the first impression someone will have of you is from your handshake. The intensity of your grip changes someone’s perception of you. A weak grip may send signals that you are new to a group or profession and are, therefore, unsure of yourself, while a very strong grip may send signals that you are aggressive or boorish.

Once again, just like with eye contact, you’ll want to find the balance between these two extremes. Your handshakes should be firm, not linger for more than two or three up-and-down motions, and not be a contest of strength.

body languageFinal Thoughts On Some Uses Of Body Language To Stop Immediately

Body language is a very powerful communication tool, and it can be difficult to learn to interpret and use correctly. It’s about more than just how you hold yourself and what your expression looks like – it can change entire messages and speak louder than words.

By learning about the forms of body language you commonly use, you’ll be able to easily avoid making social faux pas by accident through negative body language. Make sure to avoid these 18 kinds of body language and replace them with better alternatives!


3 Habits That You Must Completely Stop to Keep Your Teeth Healthy

3 Habits That You Must Completely Stop to Keep Your

3 Habits That You Must Completely Stop to Keep Your Teeth Healthy

Oral diseases affect nearly 3.5 billion people throughout the world. While the prevalence of oral diseases continues to rise in low-income countries, bad teeth are also common across America.

There are a number of factors that can contribute to oral diseases. Without realizing it, you might even have an unhealthy habit that’s causing unhealthy teeth.

Kick the habit! Keep reading to discover the three habits you need to avoid to limit tooth damage. By limiting these bad habits, you can protect your teeth before it’s too late.

Make a positive change by avoiding these three habits that contribute to bad teeth. 

1. Your Diet

When trying to determine what causes bad teeth, first take a look at your diet.

Even the fruit you eat can lead to unhealthy teeth. Fruit has a high sugar content which could lead to bacteria development. Bacteria can lead to tooth decay and dental disease.

In addition to fruit, you could also minimize sodas and sports drinks. Both are highly acidic, which can cause your teeth to erode.

Make sure to visit your dentist every six months. Only 64% of adults have visited the dentist in the past year. Your dentist can help you determine which factors are contributing to your bad teeth. 

In the meantime, try to avoid foods with simple sugars, such as candy and desserts, to limit the amount of acid in your mouth.

2. Your Nails

An unhealthy habit that many people struggle with, nail-biting is bad for your nails and teeth.

Nail-biting will expose your teeth to the bacteria on your fingers. That bacteria can then lead to infection and tooth decay. It can also break down the enamel protecting your teeth.

When enamel breaks down, it makes your teeth weaker. As a result, the position of your teeth will start to shift. 

As your teeth shift, you might experience discomfort. You might want to discuss wisdom teeth removal with your dentist to relieve crowding.

In addition to biting your nails, biting other stuff can have a negative impact on your teeth, too. Avoid biting stubborn bottle caps or letters open. Try to stop biting pens and pencils, too. 

Using your teeth to open certain items can cause tooth damage and breaks.

You could expose your teeth to chips by exerting too much force on them. 

3. Your Toothbrush

The longer you keep your toothbrush, the less effective it will become at protecting your teeth. Make sure to replace your toothbrush at least every six months. If you get sick, replace your brush the moment you’re feeling better.

Otherwise, you could expose your mouth to germs that will make you sick again.

Keeping your toothbrush too long can lead to unhealthy teeth. Make sure to replace your brush as it deteriorates to keep your teeth clean and healthy.

Bite Down on Better Habits to Avoid Bad Teeth

It’s time to kick these bad habits that are causing bad teeth. By replacing these habits with positive ones, you can protect your teeth.

Improve your oral health by avoiding these bad oral habits today.

Searching for more healthy tips? Explore the Health and Fitness section of the blog today!


11 Strategies to Stop Fear and Enjoy Life Again

11 Strategies to Stop Fear and Enjoy Life Again

Are you filled with fear or stress? Do you find it more challenging to enjoy life these days? You are not alone. We recently faced unprecedented times, and virtually everyone faces some type of struggle. And that causes stress.

For those who are unaware, stress is a byproduct of physical, chemical, or emotional factors that trigger mental or emotional tension. Good and bad stress both trigger a chemical response in the body.

This response causes it to become filled with epinephrine, norepinephrine, and cortisol. All of these chemicals play a role in the fight or flight response. Fight or flight can either motivate us to get things done or drive us to engage in acts of self-preservation.

To help further put this into perspective, let’s take a look at examples of how one might react when they encounter good or bad stress. If you’re late filing your taxes, the good stress that you feel is what will likely motivate you to get them done and sent off to the Internal Revenue Service. After all, doing so will help you get a tax refund sooner or, at the very least, avoid a late penalty.

Bad stress, on the other hand, would be something akin to losing your job and wondering how you will pay your bills. In either of these two scenarios, the fight or flight response will influence how individuals will react under these circumstances. Unfortunately, many people today are dealing with bad stress, which is often caused by family, financial, or chronic health problems.

What You Might Not Know About Stress

enjoy life

In some cases, bad stress can give way to anxiety and create yet even more problems for some individuals. According to a study published by the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, more than 18 percent of Americans are struggling with generalized anxiety, social anxiety, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). And all too often, these various forms of anxiety invariably lead to chronic health problems, some of which include

  • A weakened immune system
  • Poor digestive health
  • Cardiovascular disease
  • Insomnia
  • Infertility

Too much stress in one’s life not only causes these health problems but also makes them worse in many cases. In a study published by Northwestern Memorial Hospital, a nationally ranked academic medical center in Chicago, IL, researchers found that stress causes a myriad of chronic diseases and also intensifies disease-related symptoms.

What Is the Difference Between Stress and Anxiety?

Despite being thought of as the same, there is a difference between stress and anxiety. In short, stress is a response to a threat, which can be either real or perceived. As far as anxiety, it is a mental health disorder typically caused by prolonged and unresolved stress.

Of course, these differences do not negate the fact that anxiety and stress can cause individuals to become so crippled with fear that it significantly disrupts their life. Whether the official classification is stress or anxiety, nearly 10 percent of American adults have admitted to having at least one specific fear, according to the National Institute of Mental Health.

The percentage is even higher among teenagers, with more than 15 percent admitting to struggling with one or more fears, the study goes on to note. Lastly, the same study reported that 0.9 percent of those living in fear have agoraphobia. And 7.1 percent have severe social anxiety.

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11 Ways to Enjoy Life and Say Goodbye to Fear and Stress

Now that we have a better understanding of how stress, anxiety, and general fear can take a toll on your ability to enjoy life. So let’s take a look at eleven things that you can start doing today to prevent such irrational feelings from spiraling out of control:

1. Embrace the Fear

Whether you choose to refer to it as stress or fear, one of the best things that you can do to prevent it from taking over your life is to embrace it. Sure, this might sound counterproductive, but there is credible evidence that proves doing so is beneficial.

Learning to face and work through your fears will keep them from morphing into physical ailments and causing worse mental health problems. For example, if financial trouble is a source of stress, instead of worrying, consider seeking the expertise of a financial planner who can help you organize your finances.

2. Give Your Fears a Name

Many people in America and around the world struggle with generalized anxiety. This widespread concern indicates there is a plurality of things that cause fear. If this is something that resonates with you, you will be happy to know that naming your specific fears can help loosen the tight grip that they would otherwise have over you.

And it is easy to do, insofar as it comes down to either enumerating your fears verbally or writing them down in a journal.

3. Distract Yourself From Your Fears

Once you have learned to embrace and name your fears, the next step should entail finding ways to distract yourself from them for at least a few hours each day. Some of the more popular ways to distract yourself from fear include reading a great book, watching movies, or spending time with friends and family.

4. Say Goodbye to Excuses

All too often, people will purposely deny themselves an opportunity to live a truly fulfilled life because of fear. And many will make excuses to justify doing so.

For example, those who struggle with agoraphobia will often convince themselves that it is unsafe to go outside. What they often fail to realize, however, is that staying cooped up inside their home prevents them from getting fresh air and limits sun exposure. For reference, sun exposure helps the body produce vitamin D, which naturally strengthens teeth and bones.

And the benefits associated with sun exposure do not end there. According to a study published by Science Direct, a leading online resource for information related to scientific, technical, and medical research, sun exposure can positively alter mood, behavior, and even cognitive abilities. Indeed, saying goodbye to excuses can sometimes improve your life in more ways than one.


5. Positive Visualization

Many people will give up on achieving specific goals without ever putting forth an effort, often feeling that they won’t be successful. Whether you’re trying to land your dream job or secure a better position with your current employer, for example, you should envision yourself being successful in all of your endeavors.

After all, whether you believe that you can or can’t do something, you will find that you’re right either way. Striving for goals is one more way that you can challenge yourself and enjoy life more.

6. Quit Smoking

If you’re struggling with low-level or chronic stress caused by world events or personal problems, smoking might offer some short-term relief from stress, but it can also wreak havoc on your physical health. After all, smoking can adversely affect cardiovascular and respiratory health, both of which can make life far less enjoyable.

7. Exercising

Physicians and exercise kinesiologists agree. Engaging in physical activity can be just as effective in easing feelings of anxiety as some prescription-based medications. Furthermore, a minimum of 30 minutes of moderate exercise each day can greatly improve cardiovascular and respiratory health.

Regular exercise can even lead to healthy, radiant skin. After all, the more you sweat, the less dirt and oil remains trapped in your pores.  And this is a good thing. That’s because studies show that when individuals are confident in their appearance, they tend to have a positive outlook on life and are genuinely happier.

8. Meditation

Similar to exercise, meditation can help distract you from feelings of anxiousness while improving your physical health. According to a study published by Psychology Today, meditation can make it easier for some individuals to cope with many of the symptoms synonymous with anxiety and even depression. A separate study published by the National Institutes of Health revealed that meditation also contributes to the following:

  • Reduces stress
  • Eases feelings of fatigue
  • Soothes chronic pain

9. Consuming a healthier diet

Consuming a healthy, well-balanced diet can trigger favorable changes in your brain. One such benefit is increased serotonin production. Ramping up serotonin enables you to enjoy life and less fearful about what the future holds.

Further, healthy eating habits can help fend off obesity, diabetes, and other chronic diseases, including viruses. According to a study published by Harvard Health Publishing, a healthy, well-balanced diet and regular exercise help strengthen a weakened immune system.

10. Aromatherapy

Aromatherapy, which includes the use of essential oils, such as lavender, geranium, and frankincense. For example, these oils reduce the natural buildup of adrenaline that we experience when we feel fearful. That said, as you inhale these fragrant scents, your blood pressure and heart rate will start to stabilize.

For these reasons, aromatherapy is ideal for those struggling with low-level or chronic stress. Beyond that, there are physical health benefits that come with aromatherapy, including helping the body to fight off bacteria and certain viruses, according to a study published by Johns Hopkins Medicine.

11. Drinking Tea

Along with helping you to get a better night’s sleep, drinking chamomile tea is a great way to soothe frayed nerves caused by stress. For this reason, it is a go-to for many individuals struggling with generalized anxiety.

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Final Thoughts on Releasing Fear So You Can Enjoy Life Again

Whether your fears stem from health concerns, financial or relationship problems, or generalized anxiety, they can have a significant impact on your physical and mental health. Therefore, you must quickly bring them back under control. Fortunately, there are many ways to prevent them from getting the best of you and forcing you into an existence filled with fear.


Experts Explain 6 Reasons To Stop Proving Yourself To Others

Experts Explain 6 Reasons To Stop Proving Yourself To Others

The world we live in can be competitive. It’s like a big race, with everyone scrambling to get to their destination first, no matter the cost. It can all be very overwhelming, and it’s easy to get swept up in that mindset. Spending energy proving yourself to others becomes a drain on your psyche.

This mindset often involves acts designed to impress others. As you compare yourself to your peers and strive to do well in the eyes of your superiors, you may feel as though you must prove yourself worthy to the people around you.

But your worth isn’t dictated by how well you play the part of “being proven.” If anything, it’s quite the opposite. Your value is something you inherently have and that you build upon, regardless of what everyone says about you.

Still, resisting the pull of society’s self-worth traps can be difficult. If you need more convincing, you’ve come to the right place. Here are six reasons why you should stop proving yourself to others.

6 Reasons to Stop Proving Yourself to Others

Gandhi quote about happiness

1.    Societal Norms Don’t Have To Dictate Your Life

Societal norms rule the world, just as their name suggests. They’re the norms that we accept as standard, even when they shouldn’t be. Some criteria may be helpful, but many of them are restrictive, and when we’re expected to prove ourselves, we often follow those patterns. Here’s why that’s unhelpful:

·         A Lot Of Ideas Of Worth Are Materialistic

Typical indicators of success can be quite materialistic. People may attempt to measure your worth based on your possessions or wealth. However, the facts are simple – these items matter very little when it comes to your worth!

·         People Will Think They’re Above You No Matter Where You Go

No matter where you wind up in the world, there will be people who act like they are above you. Spending your life trying to prove yourself to people is essentially setting yourself up for failure from the get-go. Why give in to their flawed ideas when you can make your way?

·         You Can’t Please Everyone

It is impossible to please all people, and it is even more impossible to please society. Society asks different things every day and multiple contradictory ideas at the same time. It is simply not possible to please the world, so learn when it’s best to walk away and stop wasting your time.

2.    Failure And Falling Behind Are Part Of Success

People often say that failure is a stepping stone to success, but few realize the full extent of how true that is. Until you learn what doesn’t work, and until you’ve learned from experiences, your chances of having anything more than fleeting success are slim. Failure can have a substantial positive effect on your future trajectory for success, provided that you learn from it!

On top of that, let’s not forget that human beings are, in general, ever-changing. This transformation means that you’ll go through all sorts of different situations in your life in your journey, and during some of them, you will be wrong, and you will find yourself struggling.

That’s all just part of the overall process. Striving for constant perfection is unrealistic and unhealthy. Plus, it can cause you to be so afraid of failure that you stop taking risks and give up on trying. Learning to embrace failure and accept that it’s going to have to be a part of your life allows you to find silver livings and positive thinking, even in less-than-ideal times.

3.    Your Life Is About You

Your life is yours and yours alone. It’s for you to decide all its intricacies, and while you can listen to the advice and input of others, they should not have the ability to dictate the result. It’s fine to keep in mind outside assistance as long as it doesn’t control your entire life – because your life only belongs to you! Consider these points:

·         You Get To Define Yourself

No one has the right to judge you or decide what you are. It’s your privilege and responsibility to define yourself. Consider your values, your opinions, and your goals, and think about who you want to be. No one can take that from you.

·         You Have To Deal With The End Result Of Your Actions

Let’s say someone is being especially tedious about trying to make you do what they want. Before you give in, stop and think about it. This person’s life is separate from yours. At the end of the day, you’re the only one who has to deal with the end result of what you do in most cases. If this doesn’t affect them, why should you listen to them first over your thoughts?

·         It’s Really No One’s Business

Plenty of people like to poke their noses in the business of other people. If someone’s doing that to you, remember that they aren’t entitled to that privilege. They can think what they want, but so can you. It’s your life, and therefore you get to decide who influences it.

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Here are some great quotes to positive thinking.

4.    Everyone Is Different And Complex

People are unique. They come from all walks of life. As such, it’s impossible to keep proving yourself as each person you meet will have a different set of experiences, beliefs, and opinions. The complexity of humankind is such that proving yourself to them is a futile task. Here’s why:

·         What Works For Others May Not Work For You

Sometimes, you may feel tempted to prove yourself by showing someone that you can do what they do. The issue is that you may get a completely different result than them, even if you imitate them completely! Things that work for other people may simply fail to cut it for you because of how different each individual can be.

·         Others Can Project Onto You

People who you want to prove yourself to may just be projecting their thoughts and insecurities onto you. It’s not that they genuinely, with their entire being, believe you should be better – it’s that they can’t stop themselves from using you as their reflection or canvas. Proving yourself to anyone like that would be pointless!

·         You Don’t Know What Others Are Thinking Or Doing

Caring so much what other people think is a risky game because you can never tell for sure what’s going on in their heads. Do they have ulterior motives? Are they manipulating you? Are they trying to change you? If you don’t know their motives, it’s tough to follow through.

·         People Change, Often

People constantly grow, change, and evolve. Plenty of philosophers have even stated that the world and our selves are constantly changing in a “flux” of sorts. This means people’s thoughts and opinions of you and what you do will change over time, so why bother proving yourself when they’ll likely want something different soon? This also speaks of something to fill you with positive thinking: even if you aren’t happy with yourself now, you can transform yourself naturally, however you wish.

5.    The People Who Matter Don’t Need You To Prove Yourself

The people in your life who are worth proving yourself to are often, ironically, the people who don’t want you to prove yourself to them. They care for you, trust you, and even love you for who you are, and they would never want or need you to change or act differently just to “pass” in their eyes.

These people would never expect you to change who you are, but they would also never stifle your growth. You would be able to quickly improve and develop over time, and these people will always stick by you – though they will call you out for wrong or harmful actions, of course!

Besides, after you realize all of that, you’ll likely realize something else – most people aren’t as concerned with your shortcomings as you think. So put on that positive thinking! People are often too worried about their selves to focus so much on the people around them.

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6.    Only You Have The Power

The power to control your life is 100% in your hands. No one can take that from you. This ability comes with its fair share of urgency, and that can be scary, but it’s also a powerful and beautiful thing. Here are some things to consider:

·         You Are Responsible For Your Life

All the situations you have ever been in have one thing in common: you. You have the responsibility to realize your urgency and ability to control your behavior, actions, how you react, and what you do next. No matter what, you have the power to do something about the situation you’re in. Why should you spend your time proving yourself when you have all that ability within you?

·         You Know The Path You Want To Walk

You are the only person in the whole world who really, truly knows what path you want to walk. The people who you want to impress have no idea what your true desires are, so why waste the effort trying to show off to them? Take steps that make sense with your goals instead.

·         You Determine Your Abilities

It’s your choice on how to spend your energy and time. This leads to the skills you pick up, the achievements you reach, and your overall positive steps forward. Those around you who you want to prove yourself to don’t have any power over what you’re capable of.

·         You Deserve To Be True To Yourself

Proving yourself to others can often involve a degree of fakeness. But that’s unfair to the great person you are. Even if it’s frightening, don’t be afraid to be yourself and speak your truth. Others may not agree with you, but wasting your time on proving yourself to them would be a disservice to yourself!

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You hold the power to choose a negative or positive path in life. Choose positivity!

Final Thoughts On Some Reasons Why You Should Stop Proving Yourself To Others

No one has any right to change you or dictate who you’ll become or how your life will be. So be confident in your identity and stop trying to prove yourself to others. Hinging your self-worth and success on the thoughts of others is unhealthy and ultimately ineffective.

So hold your head high, grab the opportunities you want, and don’t let anyone tell you that who you are is wrong. It can be difficult at first, but don’t worry; eventually, your actions will speak for themselves!