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Banish Negative Self Talk by Trying These 10 Techniques

Banish Negative Self Talk by Trying These 10 Techniques

Everyone experiences negative self talk, even the most confident people. It is detrimental to your wellbeing, however, and you should work to achieve positive thinking, instead.

The negative self talk is what is happening when you are judging, doubting, or belittling yourself. It’s when you are telling yourself you aren’t good enough or that you always mess everything up. Usually, these thoughts you think about yourself are ones you’d never say to anyone else.

You have to remember that every thought you have about yourself affects your life. Regardless of whether it is good or bad, it will play a factor in determining your next steps. It will cause you to give up or hold back, preventing achievements and goals from being accomplished.

Not only that, but negative self talk can also cause depression, anxiety, or other mental health disorders. When you are hostile toward yourself, you won’t accomplish as much as if you were optimistic. Your thoughts are what you become, so you should always strive for positive thinking.

The Effects of Negative Self Talk and Positive Self Talk

Effects of Negative Thoughts

Some of the impacts of negative self-thoughts were already discussed, but there are more. Some of them include:

  • weakening of muscles
  • increased stress levels
  • your hormone levels change
  • gastrointestinal and digestive problems
  • increased heart rate

Effects of Positive Thinking

The results of thinking positively are much better than those of negative thinking. These effects include:

  • improved coping skills during stressful times
  • a longer life span
  • decreased chance of depression
  • less stress
  • increase in the immune system functioning
  • better overall wellbeing
  • cardiovascular health

When your body is put through less stress and negativity, you tend to be healthier. Since stress causes the heart to weaken, you have less chance of developing heart disease if you are positive.

How to Stop Negative Self Talk

1. Recognize When You are Doing it

The first step to stopping negative self talk is to recognize when you are doing it. Often, we don’t even notice what we are thinking about as we go about our day. You must consciously keep track of your thought process to recognize and stop it as it’s happening.

One way to recognize this negative thought process is by looking for feelings of guilt, shame, doubt, or worthlessness. When you are experiencing these emotions, you are likely to engage in negative thoughts again.

Once you can regularly recognize when it occurs, you can figure out the situations it most often happens in. Keep track by writing down each time you have the negative self talk and what appeared to make it happen.

2. Replace it With Positive Thinking and Positive Self Talk

Once you have acknowledged the negativity, replace it with positivity. Anytime you realize you have a negative thought, replace it with a positive view about yourself. Starting paying attention to the good things about you rather than the wrong things.

If you get used to consciously changing your thought process to be more positive, it’ll begin to become a habit. You will start to recognize the positives automatically, and you’ll have better thoughts about yourself.

The way this works is simple. When you always tell yourself you are no good, you will subconsciously focus on all the mistakes you’ve made. Likewise, when you always tell yourself you are right, you will begin to focus on the good things you do.

An easy rule to remember is to talk to yourself the way you speak to others. If you would not say it to someone else, you shouldn’t say it to yourself. Lift yourself in the way that you lift others.

3. Figure Out Areas for Improvement and Think About the Cause

This point relates to number one when you recognize and keep track of when you notice negative self talk. When you consistently do that, you will be able to figure out which areas of your life need improvement. If you are unhappy in a particular situation, figure out how you can change it.

This isn’t to say you should walk away from a job or relationship because you are unhappy. It could be all about changing your perspective of the situation. Find which parts of it make you tick and then find a way to make those things better.

4. Find a Reason to Laugh or Smile

Laughing and smiling are sure ways to help you with positive thinking. This is especially important when you are in the midst of negative thoughts. Find something that makes you laugh–and then do that every time you feel you need some positivity.

This could be spending time with a loved one or friend who always cracks jokes. You could also put on a stand-up comedy show on TV or read a funny book. Whatever options you choose, make sure you are genuinely laughing and smiling.

5. Be Active

You’ll be surprised to know that exercise and an active lifestyle can lessen negative self talk. If you exercise for around 30 minutes each day, your mood will be positively improved. It can also help you manage your stress, helping with less negativity in that way, as well.

If intense exercise isn’t for you, there are other options. You can take a light jog or take a walk around your neighborhood a couple of times. Another option is to do yoga, which helps you relax while exercising.

6. Spend Time with Positive People and Doing Positive Things

When you are surrounded by negative people, you’ll wind up being negative, too. If you want more positivity in your life, you have to surround yourself with positive people. They will be supportive and be there for you positively, whereas pessimistic people will only make your negative thoughts worse.

If you can’t be around positive people all the time, surround yourself with positive energy. This boost could be an uplifting playlist or a good book that makes you happy. You could also try a positive movie or podcast.

7. Take a Moment to Breathe

Sometimes taking a break to do some deep breathing can help you reel in your thoughts. Frequently when you become overwhelmed, and the negative thinking begins, it’s because you are overwhelmed. Other times it’s because you have made a mistake.

No matter what the cause is, breathing is likely going to help. It will help slow your heart rate, which will make you calm and help you think clearer.

 8. Stop Striving for Perfection

No one is perfect, and you can’t hold yourself to that standard. If you try, you’ll only set yourself up for failure and negativity. Give yourself the same bit of grace that you would show to others and judge your work in the same way you consider theirs.

Imperfections happen, and things can never be completely perfect. Embrace the imperfections and keep moving forward while reminding yourself that you are healthy and capable. Once you stop trying to be perfect, you’ll be happier and have more positive thoughts.

9. Create a Routine

If you have a routine in place, you’ll move through your day with less thought. It will take less energy and less stress, and you won’t feel like you forget anything. You will arrive at places on time, get your work done on time, and never feel like you are behind.

When you can work in this continuous way with minimal stress and thinking, you’ll have fewer negative thoughts. It will prevent you from overthinking and criticizing yourself or your work.

10. Stop Thinking the Worst Possibility Will Happen

When you always think the worst will happen, the negative thinking will set in quickly. You will convince yourself that the worst is the only possibility, even though that is far from the truth.

If you always think you’re going to be fired from your job, you’ll still be thinking of your shortcomings. Conversely, if you tell yourself daily that you are great at your job, you’ll think about your strengths, instead.

Remember that you can’t predict the future, and thinking of the worst-case scenario isn’t healthy. It will only hinder your growth and cause a feeling of worthlessness.

Final Thoughts on Banish Negative Self Talk by Trying These Techniques

Negative self talk is severely detrimental to your mental health and your goals. You won’t be able to achieve your goals if you are always telling yourself you are incapable or unworthy. Remember that you are healthy and can do anything you set your mind to.

When you are having trouble with positive thinking, remember these tips for banishing the negativity. Take a few moments to breathe–then consciously change your thought process.

Spend more time thinking about what you are good at and what you have already accomplished. In turn, you will spend less time thinking about your shortcomings and failures. By doing this, you’ll be able to banish the negativity and think more clearly and realistically.


9 Ways to Master Small Talk (Even if You’re an Introvert)

9 Ways to Master Small Talk (Even if You're an

“That’s all small talk is – a quick way to connect on a human level – which is why it is by no means as irrelevant as the people who are bad at it insist. In short, it’s worth making the effort.”— Lynn Coady

 Introverts naturally despite small talk because, in some ways, it seems forced or unnatural. However, deeper connections have to begin somewhere, which means sitting through a few generic conversations to start with. An easy question like “What do you do for work?” can easily lead to other exciting topics. Just because the discussion doesn’t include in-depth issues right off the bat doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get to know someone.

If you think about it, all connections begin with some form of small talk that an introvert seems to dread. Thinking back to your very first date with your significant other. You can probably recall it being a little awkward. You may also have not talked about anything beyond surface-level stuff, like your jobs, family, or favorite movies. Humans need to build up a level of comfort before they delve into the more complex or sensitive conversation.

An introvert doesn’t digest this well, however, as they have a more challenging time with small talk. They crave stimulating, deep conversations and want to skip the awkward phases. Many introverts (and maybe even some extroverts) find typical conversation topics uninteresting and impersonal. For introverts, the societal rules surrounding social interactions between new people seem oppressive and inauthentic.

Why introverts hate small talk

  • It usually lacks in depth and meaning. Introverts need either in-depth intellectual discussion or an emotional connection. They don’t want to know “what’s up.”
  • It creates barriers between people. Talking about societally acceptable topics such as jobs, the economy, or kids gets boring for introverts. They believe this doesn’t allow room actually to get to know someone on a soul level.
  • It seems forced or fake. An introvert needs authenticity, and small talk seems like the exact opposite of that. They crave conversations where they can get lost for hours and truly vibe with someone.
  • Small talk lacks real emotion. Since introverts thrive on emotional connections, small talk drains them. They may overshare when getting to know someone because of this.

If you have trouble with small talk as either an introvert or extrovert, perhaps the following tips can help you.

9 Ways to Master Small Talk (Even as an Introvert)

1 – Ask the other person to tell a story, or suggest one yourself.

If you feel unsatisfied in your conversation with someone, maybe ask them to tell a story about themselves. People usually love to tell personal information about themselves, which gives you a chance to get to know them. Try these questions when the conversation stalls or you want to shift in a new direction:

  • “What’s the most interesting thing about your job?”
  • “What’s your favorite thing about where you grew up?”
  • “How did you choose your career/job?”
  • “What would you do to earn an income if money was no object?”
  • “What is the coolest place you’ve traveled to?”

These questions don’t cross any lines or push boundaries, so they still fit in with small talk. However, they allow you to get a little more out of a person than the usual questions. They can also make great icebreakers that lead to even more in-depth conversation.

2 – Be authentic.

Introverts crave authentic conversation and people but may have trouble expressing themselves honestly. However, if you want to attract these types of people, you have to be bold. Don’t pretend or hide who you are for the sake of fitting in. People love honesty, and if you don’t want boring conversation, bring something interesting to the table.

Express your real thoughts and feelings, even if you feel afraid of what others may say. Just remember that your people will love your realness, and the people meant for you will stick around. Not everyone will love you, but don’t let this stop you from being yourself.

For example, if you find yourself at a party, you can use these as your guide:

  • “I honestly don’t go to parties much. I feel kind of awkward being here.”
  • “I am kind of bashful at first, but I warm up after a while.”
  • “I’m better at listening than talking, honestly.”
  • “Sometimes, I want to walk away from my job and travel. Do you ever feel that way?”
  • “It took all my energy to come to this party! Being an introvert is hard.”

Of course, you can tweak these to fit your personality and life circumstances. This will hopefully give you a few fresh topic ideas for your next social event, though, and help you feel more comfortable.

3 – Share small details about yourself.

It would help if you did not get too deep with this, but sharing facts about yourself helps others feel comfortable, too. For example, you could talk about what you love to do after work or a cool place you recently traveled to. Small talk doesn’t have to equate with the mind-numbing, flat conversation. The more you contribute and share, the more others will follow your lead.

4 – Ask more why questions.

If you ask someone’s favorite ice cream flavor, you get an answer and then move on to something else. However, when you ask why questions, it helps the conversation expand. For example, if you ask someone about their career, you could ask why they chose it. This could apply to anything, such as why someone prefers nighttime to daytime or why they drink black coffee.

Simply put, asking people why makes them contemplate their answer more, which can lead to some interesting conversation avenues.

Here are the habits of introverts that most people.misunderstand.

5 – Keep in mind that small talk can boost your happiness.

If you have an aversion to small talk, keep in mind that even an introvert can benefit from a brief conversation. In fact, studies have proven that idle chit-chat or “shooting the breeze” increases feelings of belonging. It also boosts people’s happiness, whether they had a quick conversation with a mailman or their barista. Humans were wired for connection, but in our fast-paced world, we often miss out on it.

We spend train rides staring at our phone screen or listening to music instead of saying hi to the person next to us. However, this disconnection only increases tension and anxiety. If you want to feel more engaged with your surroundings, smile at a stranger or give a compliment to your neighbor. You’ll feel better, even as an introvert.

6 – Don’t overthink it.

We realize that overthinking and introvert often belong in the same sentence, but they don’t have to! We overcomplicate so many mundand things in our lives by thinking about them too much. When you socialize with people, go with the flow and don’t force conversation. Listen if you feel more comfortable doing that, and talk when you have something to contribute.

If you worry about awkward silences, remember that the other person probably feels the same way. Try to remember that other people are human too and that we all have some degree of social anxiety. If you genuinely listen and act friendly toward people, you’ll make a good impression.

7 – Talk about something meaningful to you.

Small talk only gets a bad rap because people expect of others what they won’t give themselves. In other words, conversations with people don’t have to stay superficial and devoid of meaning. If you want to steer any conversation in a different direction, talk about things you enjoy. Perhaps the other person will find the topic just as interesting and have a lot to contribute as well.

8 – Try to find some common ground.

Maybe you and other people have similar hobbies or went to school for the same degree. Finding common ground with people helps you establish a bond and perhaps a friendship. If you find similarities between you and someone else, you’ll feel less awkward during small talk.

9 – Listen and be engaged with the conversation.

You don’t have to talk constantly to have a good connection with someone. Do not put a lot of added stress on yourself about what you’ll say next. Instead, practice active listening, don’t look at your phone while they talk, and smile when appropriate. If you decide to look forward to social interactions rather than dread them, it could change your whole outlook on small talk.

Final thoughts about how to master small talk as an introvert

Many introverts loathe small talk, but perhaps it just requires a change in perspective. Instead of dreading it, think about how you and the other person can benefit from it. What can you learn from the other person? What can you share with them that could improve their life? Look at social interactions as a chance to make an impact on someone’s life and vice versa.

This way, you’ll start looking forward to small talk instead of wanting to avoid it at all costs.


Are Podcasts the New Talk Radio?

Are Podcasts the New Talk Radio?

Are Podcasts the New Talk Radio?

The technological innovations of the past century have ushered in great changes to the way that we communicate en masse. Gone are the days when you would have to speak into a microphone in a large hall in order to reach out to a large audience. Gone are the days when the best way to reach a ton of people was to broadcast on the radio.

Now, people can set up shop right from their very own home and reach massive followings by leveraging podcast networks.

In this article, we’ll discuss how and why podcasting is becoming the new talk radio.

Why Are Podcast Networks So Popular?

So we start off with the question: why are podcasts networks like The Jordan Harbinger Show so popular?

To answer that, we need to understand a little bit of human psychology. There are several different characteristics of the podcast industry that draws so many listeners.

The first such characteristic is the ease of access. People like easy things. We’re hardwired to always look out for and follow the path of least resistance. Nowadays, podcasts are extremely easy to access. With apps like iTunes out there anyone can go online and find a podcast on a topic you are interested in just a few seconds. 

There’s no time-consuming search, there’s no extra stuff you need to download, and it barely seems like any additional work. Why wouldn’t you take advantage of free content?

Another reason why podcasts are replacing talk radio is that most podcasts have found other ways to monetize than commercials that harshly interrupt the flow of the podcast’s conversation. Many podcasts monetize with sponsored products and services but advertise these in brief, 30-seconds-or-less interludes at the beginning or end of each podcast episode. This allows the listener to process the majority of the podcast without the advertising interruptions that plague talk radio.

Last but not least, podcasts also have a great level of variety to them. With talk radio, there are typically only a few radio stations to choose from. Of these radio stations, the host may or may not actually be hosting the conversation at the time when you tune in. This limits choices even further.

But with podcasts, because the barrier of entry is so low, there are tons of different networks out there for you to choose from. You can listen to a conversation on just about any topic under the sun! Why would folks limit themselves to talk radio?

Podcast Growth Is Inevitable

With all of these significant benefits, the growth in popularity of podcasts is truly inevitable. Whether it’s the ease of access, the variety in conversation topics, or the lack of interrupting advertising, podcast networks simply hold far too many advantages over the typical talk radio program. And for those reasons, podcasts now hold the world’s attention, by and large.

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How to Talk to Your Kids About Being Broke

How to Talk to Your Kids About Being Broke

How to Talk to Your Kids About Being Broke

When it comes to managing your money, raising a family can present a serious challenge.

If you’re worried about how to discuss being broke with your children, there are a number of ways you can handle this all too common situation.

Read on for a few helpful tips that explore how to handle being broke and how to talk about it with your kids in a smart, responsible way.

Explain the Concept of Saving

Instead of being negative and constantly focusing on being broke, try to approach the situation in a more positive way. One way to do this is to talk to your kids about saving your hard-earned money for a rainy day or for a major purchase.

If your children ask you why they can’t get that new pair of jeans or go out for ice cream, let them know that you’re planning to save your money for bigger things. Let them know that you can’t always splurge on expensive or extra purchases all the time.

Kids need to understand frugality at an early age, and this is one way to use it to your advantage. Talk to your children about spending versus saving so they have a grasp of how to use money more wisely, even when you’re broke.

Being Broke Inspires Creativity

While being broke can be a real downer, it can also encourage you to try something new. If you’re short on cash, look for fun ways to spend time with your kids that don’t cost a ton of money.

Stay at home and play board games or work on a new craft together. You can also encourage your kids to cook with you and learn a new skill in the kitchen.

Just because you’re broke at the moment, it doesn’t mean you have to be bored or restless. This is the perfect time to get creative and come up with new ways to spend your time as a family without spending money.

Work on Your Finances in Private

Your children don’t need to know every single aspect of your financial life. Kids can feel it when you’re stressed out, so try your best to take the emphasis off of being broke as much as possible.

In the meantime, look into ways you can improve your financial situation such as finding debt consolidation solutions or lowering your credit card interest rate. Talk to a financial advisor who can help you come up with new ways to save and regroup your debt so you have better cash flow.

There’s no shame in being broke as long as you know how to handle it with grace. Work on your money situation privately so you can focus on the important things when you spend time with your kids.

Handling Money Woes with Grace

Even if you’re thinking “I’m tired of being broke,” there are still plenty of things you can do to enjoy your day-to-day. Don’t be afraid to talk to your kids about money, but try and keep the focus positive so that you don’t stress yourself or your children out.

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