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True Mental Strength Is When You Can Find Fuel In

Do you have mental strength? The world is chaotic, and you are either at a position where you’re struggling or going through life as a superhero. Your daily concerns are all over the place, from dirty dishes to global warming.

It seems that it’s almost impossible for you not to let the problems of the day get to you. It will help if you improve your mental strength by keeping your stress levels in check. If you want to have a productive and healthy life, then you must do this monumental task for you and others.

Ten Ways to Enhance Your Mental Strength

Have you ever been to the doctor and was told that you need to reduce stress? It seems like such a simple thing, but most people find it completely overwhelming. You can reduce your stress and protect your mental health by engaging in these ten simple things.

1. Set Boundaries

Do you have a hard time saying “no” to people? Why is it that you always try to take on more than you can handle because you’re afraid that you might upset someone? It would help if you learned how to use the word “no” to protect your mental strength.

If you’re having a hard time with the concept, then practice in front of a mirror. Say things like, “No, I will not work overtime or take on any more tasks.” When you practice this independence in private, you’ll be more apt to use it in public. Learn to set boundaries so that you don’t become overwhelmed with extra tasks.

2. Recite Positive Affirmations

A wise old proverb says that as a man thinks in his heart, so is he, so you must be careful that you’re not full of negativity. Did you know that negativity can affect your mental health? Recite positive affirmations daily.

When you first get out of bed in the morning, try saying the following things:

  • I will accomplish all of my goals.
  • I am a fantastic person.
  • I’m loved by my family and friends.
  • I am a productive individual.
  • I feel great.
  • I’m going to have a great day.

When you start feeding your inner man with positivity, you will be amazed at the outcome. Start your day on a positive note even if you got up on the “wrong side of the bed.”

3. Stop Overthinking

Why do people tend to overthink? Rather than waiting for the verdict, you’re borrowing trouble from tomorrow. It’s like getting test results on a suspicious lump you have on your body.

Before the results come in, you’ve already got yourself on chemotherapy and writing your goodbye letters. The fact is that it might be something simple that isn’t malignant, but if you don’t stop overthinking every detail, you will drive yourself crazy.

4. Use Self-Care

Remember one thing in life you cannot pour out of an empty cup. If you want to take care of others and do an excellent job at work, you must learn to practice self-care. Make time for you each day, even if it’s only 30 minutes.

5. Practice Deep Breathing

Do you ever feel like you have a significant weight on your chest? Stress, panic, and anxiety can make you feel overloaded. Thankfully, when you practice deep breathing, you’re releasing that tension you feel.

You can use many methods when you do deep breathing, but the most common way is to inhale to the count of seven, hold the breaths for a count of seven, and then release them slowly for the count of seven. It’s a simple yet amazingly effective exercise.

6. Be Grateful

Do you ever sit back and count your blessings and be grateful for all the things you’ve been given? Did you wake up and take a warm shower, eat breakfast, and get into a nice car to drive to work?

Do you have family and friends who love and support you for whatever life throws your way? Do you have food in your cabinets and money in your checking account? Many people are homeless, and they could only dream about having a small portion of the things you have. Be grateful for what the universe has given you.

7. Exercise

One of the best ways to protect your mental strength is by engaging in exercise each day. You only need about 20 minutes to work out, but the effects it has on your brain is astounding.

Research shows that when you are working out, you’re releasing feel-good endorphins in your brain. You’re also increasing the production of vital neurotransmitters that regulate your moods like dopamine and serotonin. You should add a healthy diet to your day that has little carbohydrates and sugars.

The more protein and healthy fats you consume, along with your workout plan, can keep you in an adequate space and protect your mental strength.

8. Get Fresh Air

There’s something tranquil about a breath of fresh air? Air is life, and you need it to survive. Research shows that when many people have a panic attack and feel those fight or flight sensations kicking in, they often run to the outdoors.

There’s something magical about Mother Nature and her ability to calm you almost instantly. When life seems to overwhelm you, then you should go outside and look up into the heavens. Feel the golden rays of sun shining on your face and breathe in the flowers’ aroma and other fresh scents.

9. Engage in Yoga

You probably hear a lot of hype about yoga as a workout. However, most people have no clue the power it has on your mental health. Yoga first helps you to form a sense of self. It will then move you into a better place by altering you from the sympathetic to the parasympathetic nervous system.

Many studies have been conducted on this art form, and the results are overwhelmingly positive. Researchers show that it gives you mental clarity and helps with depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses. Additionally, they have found that it has a profound effect on post-traumatic stress sufferers too.

Learning breathing techniques and body movements can do a world of good for your mental state. The great thing about this art form is that it can be modified for all body types and endurance levels.

10. Practice Positive Thinking

Are you a “Negative Nelly” or do you see yourself as a “Positive Pearl?” It’s hard to be positive in life with destruction on every corner. Do you ever feel like you want to throw in the towel?

Many people want to give up, but that isn’t an option. You can change how you feel by only using positive thinking skills. Sure, the electric bill was $200 more than you budgeted for the month. However, you should be thankful that you even have electricity.

In some third world countries, the electricity comes and goes. You have heat to keep you warm and air conditioning to keep you cool. Those in such nations would love to have the pleasure of a comfortable home with an HVAC system.

When you change your mindset from negative to positive, you will see a world of difference in your overall wellbeing. Feelings of gratitude and mindfulness enhance your mental strength. Look at each situation you face daily, and though bad it may seem, you should try to find something positive.

Remember that some of the worst storms end with a rainbow. When the skies begin to clear, and the sun’s rays hit the water droplets, it displays one of the most beautiful sights in nature. Stay positive and focused no matter what life throws your way.

Final Thoughts on Gathering Up Your Mental Strength to Face Tough Times

It seems like the world is in chaos, and people struggle to find harmony in their lives. How do you combat the pressures of the world without losing your cool? The ten tips above can help you to protect your mental strength in times of adversity, and you should utilize as many as possible.

One of the most potent inspirational stories comes from the man who wrote the song “It Is Well with My Soul.” Horatio Spafford was someone who struggled and came through insurmountable troubles in life. He lost his business and his 4-year old son in the fires of Chicago in 1871.

Spafford struggled along until 1873 when even greater financial struggles hit his company. He decided to take a trip with his family on the SS Ville du Havre ship. A last-minute change of plans caused him to send his family ahead, and he would follow later.

Sadly, the ship collided with the Loch Earn in the Atlantic Ocean, and all four of his daughters perished. Anna, his wife, survived the incident, and she sent him a telegram to let him know she was alive. He immediately went to be with her. As the ship entered the area where his daughters had perished, he wrote the famous song.

Like Spafford, you can learn to sing even when things look their worst. This man lost everything he had and suffered more problems in his life than anyone could imagine. Yet, in the middle of the darkest of nights, he found a song in his heart. Is your mental strength like Spafford’s?


Therapists Explain Why You Must Show Vulnerability to Find True Love

Therapists Explain Why You Must Show Vulnerability to Find True

It seems like vulnerability is a big topic these days in people looking for their soul mate.

What does being vulnerable mean anyway? It merely involves putting yourself in a position that you could either be hurt physically or emotionally.

It sounds easy to let down your defenses when it comes to the one you love, but it’s not as easy as it may appear. You have a natural defense mechanism that is there to protect you from being hurt, and when you let down your guard, it means exposing the most intimate parts of yourself.

Many people push away love because they don’t like to share some of the most intimate parts of their hearts, and it’s quite scary to expose yourself. When something goes wrong, the first thing you want to do is withdraw from the situation to avoid getting hurt. However, what if you stay and work through it?

Is it possible to control your natural-born instinct to defend yourself? So many people are missing out on love because they prefer to isolate and withhold the secret, innermost parts of their hearts. To accept and express affection requires vulnerability, and if you don’t master this art, then you may never find your true love.

Engage in The Act of Generosity

Generosity and vulnerability go hand-in-hand, according to the London Journal of Primary Care. Moreover, it improves your general feeling of wellness.

When you’re generous, you are showing an outward expression of the compassion and sensitivity you have deep inside. Being generous to a partner will show that you are willing to give your time and energy to help them.

Let’s assume your partner is sick and needs assistance. When they’re ill and can’t get out of bed, that’s when they need you the most. So, you clean their apartment and bring them chicken soup and tea. You’re allowing yourself to see them at their worst, and they are accepting your gift and showing their vulnerability too.

Remember, being vulnerable is a two-way street. You’re not on your “A” game when you are down and out and sick. When you do a generous act like taking care of an ill person, it gives you both a sense of gratification. Another benefit is it helps to counteract the human desire to withhold from others.

Authentic generosity

You open yourself up for emotional exchanges that you might not have the opportunity for when you isolate. Make a strong effort to give in a situation where you normally would stand back. Don’t expect any reciprocal treatment for the act, but you should do something kind to help another person.

If you make a nice gesture in the hopes of getting something in return, then you miss out on the true spirit of generosity. Plus, you won’t learn how to be vulnerable. There are many ways that you can be generous. The easiest way to do so is by buying gifts or giving money.

However, these acts are a little less emotional and don’t have the same psychological impact as something that comes from the heart. To be labeled a generous person, you must be willing to drop everything in your schedule to lend a helping hand. You will notice that you will look for opportunities to respond to people in need, even if it’s just offering a shoulder to cry on.

Commitment to your relationship

When you’re in a committed relationship, there should always be acts of generosity that go back and forth. You must learn to receive as much as you give, which can also be difficult for some. It’s the same reason why some women don’t like to have the doors opened and closed for them.

Allowing someone to do something for you takes away your power to do it for yourself. Sure, any woman can open her car door, but it’s something special when her partner does it for her. It shows that he or she will take care of her and go the extra mile to protect her.

Generosity is physical and emotional

Keep in mind that generosity isn’t just a physical display, either. Your words and actions can also be giving. Compliment your love on how they look and help them to destroy any negative self-image they may have. While this gift doesn’t cost a dime, its value is priceless.

Lastly, when you give to someone else, you feel liberated, energized, and less defensive. It will teach you how to be fulfilled in relationships. Many say that it’s essential to your emotional wellbeing, but it’s also a moral way to live your life.

Be Clear About Your Wants and Needs

Another way that you can show your vulnerability is by communicating your wants and needs. Your self-protective defense wants you to keep your desires hidden, and in many instances, people turn to others to find gratification for those desires. When you hide your agenda, you risk falling into narcissism, according to researchers.

Additionally, during your isolated times, you develop an attitude that you don’t need anyone else, and you can take care of yourself. It’s weird to ask someone for a need as it puts you in an inferior state where you may feel shame, and when you feel guilt, it’s often a painful emotion that you relate to childhood events.

Many children go through life longing to be understood, seen by others, loved, and touched by affection. Sadly, many didn’t get their needs met, so they develop a shame when they ask for friendship and humiliation because they will never seem like anything more than an unlovable child.

Even in their adult life, they feel the pangs of humiliation asking their partner for the things they need. It may be as simple as needing to hear at least once each day the words “I love you.” Yet, many can’t even bring themselves to ask for such a simple request.

If you want to meet and build a relationship with your soul mate, then you must be vulnerable. It will require overcoming your resistance to communicate with that person about your wants and needs. This also puts you in an uncomfortable position because you are putting yourself out there for a rejection or even frustration.

Thankfully, when you make these simple requests based on your needs, you will become stronger and more aware that you are no longer a child who feels pushed into the corner. There’s no shame or humiliation in asking for your needs to be met.

Offer and Receive Affection

You encourage vulnerability when you both offer and accept affection from others. Over time, you will learn that your soul mate isn’t going to use your vulnerable times to control you. When you share warmth and love with others, then you are making a statement that you’re ready to receive it in return.

Affection is both verbal and physical. It can be playful, tender, caring, or seductive. However, it’s given, it’s an outward expression of your generous nature and fulfilling the needs of others as well as asking for your needs to be filled.

But, how do you achieve this?

At first, you may feel a bit anxious or uncomfortable as these behaviors are new and challenging to display. You need to protect yourself will undoubtedly come into play too. There’s always the risk that you will be hurt, or someone will take advantage of your generous nature.

However, if you hold steadfast and put your doubts aside, then you will learn why vulnerability in love is so essential. Research proves that individuals who had issues from their childhood that stem from abandonment, controlling, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, and neglect often have problems with vulnerability. These people withdrawal into themselves and walk on eggshells around others.

It makes it hard to have a meaningful relationship with someone who isn’t emotionally available. However, you can teach someone to be more vulnerable by giving them the tools they need to build confidence. Working with a therapist is a great place to start. If you want long and meaningful relationships, you must open yourself to the innermost parts you hide from others.

Final Thoughts on the Connection Between Vulnerability and Falling in Love

The beauty of finding your “person” or partner in life is that this is the one that understands you better than anyone else. Some people note that they find it easier to let down their walls when it’s with the right one.

Your partner will make you feel like an equal and not less than in life. Research indicates that with therapy, your childhood battles, and feelings of abandonment and neglect, can melt away when you’re in a safe place. What is it that you hold back in love, and how has it affected your ability to have meaningful relationships?

If you’ve been unlucky in love, perhaps it’s time to explore if your lack of a vulnerable nature had anything to do with it. You can learn to open and expose those secretive places to someone who isn’t there to hurt you, but they only wish to help.


Therapists Explain Why People Reveal Their True Colors in a Breakup

Therapists Explain Why People Reveal Their True Colors in a

Breaking off a relationship involves the same process as grieving many times. One of the worst things about this time of grief is that people show their true colors. These shades might not be very bright. We’ve got the breakdown of why people show their true colors in a breakup.

The Science of The Impact Of Personality In Breakups

A study in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin explained how people handle romantic rejection. People reported how the view of themselves changed when their partner broke up the relationship. This research showed how people see themselves after a breakup, which has a direct impact on how they can get on with life.

The true personalities of each partner come through in breakups because these traits are part of the people. Personality traits have a big role in breakups because many people cannot move on for a very long time. They feel haunted and feel as if they did something “wrong.” Being rejected boosts their personality flaws because it brings them to the surface. Many people find their true self must be wrong.

true colors

Testing a Relationship Brings Out The Worst In People

When people test their relationships, it’s the time many of them show their true colors. Breaking up is one of the hardest things for many people. It means something went wrong. Many people feel at this time that they’re not enough. When they’re put in the fire, those true colors shine in the light.

They’ve never had to show these colors before because they weren’t at this level of testing. Many people have a fight or flight mentality when it comes to tough times. A side of them comes out that might scare you, or might even surprise you. Even good people will let the worst in them come out when facing a tough time like a breakup.

Negative Behavior

As a relationship ends, some people exhibit negative behavior. They’ve been used to bottling their emotions, but their negative feelings are bubbling over, showing how they feel. Showing these negative behaviors to the partner reveals those emotions coming to the surface. The partner may have never seen this side before. The petty fights finally have a breaking point.

Perhaps the biggest issue here is that those negative feelings when breaking up are how you felt for a long time. These feelings were just hidden until you felt the need to show them. Bringing up these things you dislike about one another won’t change anything anyway. It’ll just make the other person resentful that you never loved their true self.

Dealing With A Narcissist

One of the biggest disappointments to many people when breaking up is finding out you’re dealing with a narcissist. You see the true colors of a person that reveal they’re into everything for themselves.

Your personalities just don’t align because they have no empathy, and they blame everything on you. If you never saw this behavior before, it is because a narcissist is great at luring you in for their good. They tell you what you want to hear.

Everything usually seems great until you hit a pothole. Once you hit trouble, these people show their other face. They only see things in black or white, so it’s either good or bad with them. They think if you aren’t on their side, you’re just wrong.

Thus, they feel if you’re the one leaving the relationship, you’re making the wrong decision because they’re the best thing since sliced bread. The truth is that there might not be anything wrong with you, but it’s all rooted in their personality.

pure narcissist

The Mask Comes Off and True Colors Reveal Themselves

Sometimes people show the negative aspects of their personality because they got what they wanted out of the relationship. They don’t need you anymore, so they don’t have to hide their identity. The mask they wore during your relationship doesn’t serve a purpose anymore. They’re able to reveal their face. This face might not be anything like the mask. They don’t care because they’re done with you.

It’s a sad but true part of many relationships. During a relationship, that mask is there to fulfill their happiness. Once it’s over, why would they need it? It’s time to create a new mask for the next relationship.

The Pressure of a Breakup

When you’re going through a breakup, you often feel frayed. It’s as if the pressure of your changing relationship status might make you explode. If someone’s personality is negative, that explosion won’t be pretty. When things are happy and quiet, that pressure is chill. When things start to explode, the volcanic ash can be fiery. Pressure makes it almost impossible to wear a mask. Pressure doesn’t make a person the way they are.

This feeling of pressure just reveals this person’s personality. They collapse under the weight of all of the issues. One cannot hide who they are in pressure. It builds inside them until they have to let it all out in some way.

marriage counselor

Pretending Cannot Last Forever

Even if a relationship lasted years and years under a mask, this pretending could not last forever. Sometimes a partner can “trick” the other for years. They show their best self. They say what the other wants to hear. And they might even do what the other person wants. Everything is perfect until the world starts to break.

This person has practiced being the person behind their mask for a long time. This pretending just cannot last forever. The work behind it gets exhausting. They start to crack as the world shakes. In truth, the partner probably saw these little cracks start popping up along the way. These cracks start to look like the world after an earthquake when you breakup. This is because pretending now has now fallen to the wayside. It has nothing to stand on, so it’s thrown to the side.

Controlling The Relationship Breakup

During a breakup, many people try to control and manipulate the other person. Controlling and manipulative behavior comes to the surface because many people feel like they’re falling without a parachute. They’re fearful, so they pull out any stops.

This type of manipulation can be emotionally abusive to the other person. All relationship tools of compromise are suddenly thrown out the window because they feel threatened. This behavior type is hard to change. People have this rooted in their personalities. It can even get worse if you’re going through a breakup where you have to divide things and make big decisions.

It’s Not Your Job To Fix Your Ex-partner

When your former partner shows their personality, don’t try to fix them. When they walk away showing off the worst parts about themselves, it isn’t your job to help them find their way back. They show themselves because they are scared.

They’re in a corner, they’re upset, and they want out. Your ex wants happiness, so they’ll do anything to get it. This desire could mean hurting you with unkind words or behaviors. Know that it isn’t your job to fix these things. You can’t fix who they are. It was never your fault that they wore a mask.

Don’t Become Uncomfortable In Your Skin

Sometimes you don’t see the personality of your partner until it’s too late because they simply aren’t being who they are. Some people are just afraid of being your true self, which is a bad thing in a relationship.

When you’re uncomfortable in your skin with another person, the relationship is built on a lie. Once you hit waves, those true colors splash out of the relationship boat. If someone doesn’t love those colors, they aren’t worth it. It’s not worth it to be someone else for years in a relationship. It’s exhausting for most people to try to please the other person by putting on a facade.

true colorFinal Thoughts about Someone Revealing Their True Colors During a Breakup

Sometimes after breaking up, you try to see through the negative behavior to who the person was during the relationship. You try to justify their actions. The truth of the matter is that you have to believe this person when they take off their mask. When they reveal their true selves, believe them. Don’t go back to the good times. These times weren’t real.

When this person was kind to you, yet they were only doing it for their good, it was never truthful. Many people want to believe in the good. Once someone shows you who they are on the inside, don’t go back. It will only hurt you in the end.

Overall, people reveal their true colors during a breakup because everything is stripped away. You might feel as if you lost all of the bright, happy times. But it is up to you to paint a new picture of the future that looks happy and bright.

But always remember–breaking up is a type of loss.

People have their ways of dealing with loss and grief. It’s impossible to change them, so it’s best to move on without them. If you don’t know the true colors of a person from the beginning, it’s only going to end in a storm.