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Experts Reveal 4 Things Couples Should Do Before Getting Married

Experts Reveal 4 Things Couples Should Do Before Getting Married


Marriage is a serious commitment. Before leaping into this territory, you need to make sure that you and your partner are ready before getting married.

But how can you be assured that you’re on the right track? What can you do before saying your vows that will help you determine whether marriage is a good idea?

Relationship experts reveal four things couples should do before getting married.

1.    Have Serious Conversations

The significance of knowing what you are getting into before tying the knot cannot be overstated. You and your partner need to practice positive communication to make sure you’re moving forward on the same page. Here are some things you should talk about:

·         Money

No matter how much positive thinking you have as a couple, the fact remains that, scientifically speaking, financial problems are a chief cause of divorce and have been for decades. You and your partner need to talk at length about economic plans and goals, including ones for the future that seems unimportant to you right now, says Love Inc. founder Brittny Drye. Talk about 401Ks, financial responsibilities, bill-splitting, savings, the division of living expenses, retirement… absolutely everything related to money you can think of.

·         Names

Who’s taking whose name in the marriage, if anyone is? Are you hyphenating? Going for a traditional approach? Not changing any name at all? This topic is an important thing to decide on, according to Emily Sullivan Events’ titular founder Emily Sullivan. Think about your children and the last name they will inherit. What implications may arise for them and your current extended families?

·         Kids

Whether or not you desire to have children – and how many – is a huge point of discussion that needs to be cleared from the beginning. This is a huge step that will significantly affect the direction of your life, says SQN Events owner and event director Beth Bernstein. It involves personal responsibility and financial and emotional commitments. Most couples consider a clash in the desire to have children a deal-breaker.

2.    Open Up Completely

It’s fair to not tell a partner everything early in a relationship. When you’re planning to move forward into marriage though, being open about yourself is crucial. After all, there is little that you can hide from a spouse without it being a severe cause for concern or a breach of trust. Here are some ways to open up to a partner before getting married:

·         Talk About Your Family And Childhood

For some, childhood and family is a fun thing to talk about. For others, it’s a little bit more of a sensitive topic. Regardless of your past, it’s a good idea to talk about it with your partner and listen to their story, too. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Becky Whetstone, Ph.D., consider this crucial in understanding your partner for a more substantial relationship.

·         Reveal Bad Habits

No one is perfect. When you first begin dating, it’s easy to try and pretend that you are, or at least try and soften the reality of your bad habits. Hopefully, that isn’t something you did. But even if you did try and conceal your worst sides before, the chances are that your partner already knows about them to some extent. Be open about the person you are, talk about your struggles and areas you need to improve on and ask your partner to share their own. You need to love each other exactly as you are, without any desire to change the other!

·         Know What The Other’s Values Are

The goal when you marry someone is to spend the rest of your life with them. Though it is possible for people to stay happy and in love when their values differ, it’s still a good idea that you do know if your values are at odds before making these long-term commitments. Get all beliefs, opinions, and potentially controversial thoughts out in the open before tying the knot. This way, you’ll know whether any are deal-breakers, says Drye. If they aren’t deal-breakers, you can then talk about how to handle conflict in those areas and how to respect each other’s values.

·         Discuss Goals

You and your partner probably have your own goals in life. By now, if you’re considering marriage, you should both already know about each other’s plans to some degree. Ideally, your continued partnership will allow both of you to continue to follow your dreams. You shouldn’t give up on those dreams for anyone, and neither should your partner! This is an excellent chat to see if your lives are heading in the same direction.

Therapists explain why couples should set ground rules before getting marries.

3.    Do Stressful Cooperative Tasks

What is marriage but a long-term cooperative task? (Yes, we know it’s more complicated than that, but the concept stands!) If you and your partner can’t handle cooperation under challenging times, you may not yet be ready for marriage. Here are some ideas for testing the waters:

·         Learn Together

Sure, it’s not exactly very stressful, but the process of learning together can give you a shared experience that will make you stronger in the long run. You’ll have a bit of fun, learn to support each other as you gather new information, and figure out how you handle success and failure both independently and as a couple. So try attending a class, lecture, workshop, or talk about something you’re both interested in and see where you go from there!

·         Do Some Grocery Shopping

Have you ever seen couples hashing out a big tiff in the middle of a grocery store? You do not want to become a party to that behavior one day! A great way to test if you work in a positive way is to try doing some shopping together, especially of the kind that involves shared purchases. Food shopping and buying necessities for your home is an excellent way to gauge your compatibility on this scale. It’s not the most stressful thing in the world, but it can still be a challenge!

·         Go On A Trip

Traveling is fun, but no one can deny that things can get stressful and heated. Going on a trip with your partner will give you some fascinating insight into how you both deal with the stress of planning, being on time, and organizing, says So Eventful founder and CEO Marisa, Manna Ferrell. If you are unable to have a good time traveling with someone, you probably wouldn’t want to marry them, either.

·         Live Together

The person you truly are is never more apparent than when you’re at home. That’s why cohabitation is a great way to gauge whether or not you are truly compatible with a person, according to Drye. You’ll have to live with this person, their good and bad habits, and their housekeeping preferences, after all. This might be why 59% of adults between the ages of 18 and 44 have lived with a partner before marriage, and an impressive 85% of them have positive beliefs about premarital cohabitation.

Of course, whether you want to do this or not may differ by your belief system and personal values. A similar option would be having regular sleepovers with your partner – whether intimacy is involved or not – to get a similar glimpse into what life with them would be like.

4.    Get Through A Tough Time

Tough times are a standard part of any relationship. They will come and go throughout a marriage. What’s important is that you know you and your partner can overcome them. Here are some tough times that, if you iron out before marrying, point to a better chance of long-term relationship success:

·         Resolve A Big Fight

Fights are inevitable in a relationship. In fact, frequent arguments, when handled correctly and not done in excess, can actually be a sign of a healthy and positive relationship. This is because you learn to communicate, get through the tough times, and work through problems together, coming out stronger.

The key, then, is in learning to fight well, says marriage and family therapist John Amodeo, also an author. Do you speak to each other with honesty, openness, and respect during fights? Do you know when to step back and take time to breathe? Are you able to find workable solutions and fair compromises? You’ll have many fights in your “career” as a couple, so make sure you know how to work through them!

·         Learn To Deal With Fight Aftermaths

When fights are resolved, what’s the next step? Respect, as always. If you were in the wrong, learn to apologize. This proves to your partner that you respect them enough to put aside your pride. Similarly, you should also be able to rely on them to apologize when they are at fault. But what about situations where there’s no blame, but the end result is that you can’t agree? Be comfortable with sticking to your guns and letting your partner stick to theirs. It’s okay to agree to disagree!

·         Experience A Rut Of Intimacy

In an allosexual relationship, it’s typical for intimacy and libido to have its ups and downs, says marriage and family therapist Sheri Meyers. But when a “down” period is prolonged, both parties can feel neglected, undesirable, and even rejected. That disappointment and hurt can build up over time into resentment.

Take the opportunity to talk about your expectations for intimacy, discuss how you can overcome your current plateau, and think of ways to spice things up just outside your usual comfort zone. Sure, it’s not necessary for you to go through this rut before getting married, but that doesn’t mean it’s not good practice for the fact that these ruts will crop up now and then in the future!

·         Be Apart

Being apart can be challenging for partners who have spent so much time together. The inability to see someone can make resolving arguments harder, and it also makes emotions run higher. You need much more positive thinking to stay strong together when you’re long-distance. We’re definitely not saying to intentionally force a long-distance relationship, but spending a bit of time away from one another is suitable for testing the strength of your relationship and uncovering co-dependency issues.

·         Hit A Rough Patch

Love is not always rainbows and butterflies. Hard times are a standard part of relationships. If you and your partner have never hit a rough patch, there’s a fair chance that you’ll struggle to overcome one that you do hit later on in a marriage. Learning to work through wrinkles with positive thinking, love, trust, and communication is very important, says Sheri. Overcoming these hurdles will show you how committed you are and how secure the relationship is as a whole.

Final Thoughts On Some Things Couples Should Do Before Getting Married

Each relationship is unique, but they all share the need for security, trust, respect, and love. By doing the aforementioned four things before getting married, you’ll know that your relationship is strong enough to thrive in the long-run.

Lifestyle

Marriage Counselor Reveals 10 Relationship Stages Couples Must Go Through to Last

Marriage Counselor Reveals 10 Relationship Stages Couples Must Go Through


Most people don’t know that different stages of a relationship exist, but knowing this can help your relationship succeed. For example, once the honeymoon phase ends, couples start to settle into more of a long-term friendship. They realize that it takes effort and a conscious choice to make the relationship work. Then the real work begins after the butterflies start to fade. Unfortunately, movies and other media outlets have glamorized relationships and given people unrealistic expectations about them.

Many relationships fail because people expect to feel the same way about their partner after years of being together as they did in the very beginning. Of course, after having kids and dealing with life’s responsibilities, those exciting and intense feelings begin to fade. Perhaps this disappointment in reality not living up to fantasy may explain why around half of the marriages in the U.S. end in divorce.

However, if a couple chooses to remain together, they should learn about the different stages of a relationship, so they know what to expect. Below, we’ll go over them in more detail.

Here are ten relationship stages every couple should know about:

While different relationship stage theories exist, we will focus on the one by Dr. Mark Knapp, a renowned professor at the University of Texas. He studied patterns in relationships and was considered an expert in nonverbal communication research. While his model assumes that all relationships will eventually end, as evidenced by the coming apart phases, not all relationships will follow this pattern.

With that said, he came up with ten different stages, broken up into two phases: the coming together and coming apart phases. Let’s go over them more extensively below.

The Coming Together Phase

Relationships don’t all begin in the same way, but they usually have some things in common. Some people meet through online dating sites or in the workplace, while others meet during travels abroad. After the initial coming together phase, most couples will go through the following stages of a relationship.

  1. The Initiation Stage

This phase happens during the dating phase when you both are still getting to know each other. You know that you like one another, but you haven’t committed to each other yet. Right now, you may get together one or two times a week for dates where you gauge your compatibility with this person. You may feel that butterfly sensation in your stomach when you meet up with them, as everything feels fresh and exciting.

  1. The Experimentation Stage

If you decide that you wish to take things further, you get to know them on a deeper level. You may start dating formally and call each other boyfriend or girlfriend. Others begin to recognize you as a couple, and you make this person the center of your world. While you haven’t fallen in love with them yet, you realize the potential in this relationship and want to test the waters.

In this stage, you get to know their values and outlook on things and see if they match yours. While you probably don’t agree on everything, you have enough in common to want to continue dating them.

  1. Intensifying Stage

This time is the real honeymoon stage where everything goes smoothly, and you want to see them as much as possible. After work or on the weekends, you call or text your new beau and make plans to meetup or chat on the phone for a while. You start to feel comfortable enough with this person to where you want to divulge more intimate details about yourself. You find yourself developing deep feelings for this person and may begin to picture a future with them.

  1. Integration Stage

Since you’ve officially become a couple, you start to mesh your lives together. While you may not live together at this point, you still take each other into account when you make plans and revolve your lives around one another. You have routines and habits as a unit, and start to see yourselves as an “us” rather than a “me and you.”

  1. The Bonding Stage

As your relationship deepens, you start to bond more intensely. You may decide to live together or get married because you feel so strongly about each other. You’ve made sure that your ideals and values line up and that your personalities mesh well together. The people closest to you recognize the seriousness of your relationship, and you may decide to make a formal commitment, such as marriage.

The Coming Apart Phase

Unfortunately, not all relationships last forever. While some people stay married for life, many others decide to divorce or break up due to a variety of reasons. If you start to see any of these stages happening in your relationship, it may signal trouble in the near future.

Here are the stages of a relationship in the coming apart phase:

  1. The Differentiating Stage

Whether this happens after months or years together, every couple goes through this phase at some point. Even if the relationship lasts a lifetime, couples will have periods where they don’t see eye to eye on things. They may notice incompatibilities in their personalities or beliefs. They may see themselves as separate people rather than one unit. If you can’t overcome your differences, you may decide to break up during this phase.

  1. The Circumscribing Stage

The stages of a relationship include a phase where you drift further apart, called the circumscribing stage. You may start to set more boundaries for yourself and have more of your life separate from your significant other. You may begin to do things on your own accord without consulting with your partner first. As a result of the distance in your relationship, you may have more arguments or feelings of resentment.

The intimacy steadily decreases, and you may start sleeping in separate rooms or even moving back with friends or family for a while. You still love them, but you don’t see yourself as a unit any longer.

  1. The Stagnation Stage

You feel that the relationship is hurtling toward a dead end. In this stage, you don’t feel devoted to your partner like you used to and don’t see much of a future with them. While both of you may know that things have come to a standstill, you may have a hard time formally ending things. In the coming apart stages of a relationship, you have to decide to either reconcile or go your separate ways.

  1. The Avoidance Stage

In this phase, you try to avoid one another as much as possible. If you still live together, you may have separate lives and only interact if you have to talk about bills or other adult responsibilities. However, any feelings of love or devotion toward your partner have faded. You may start making plans to move out and have a life of your own so you can have closure.

  1. The Termination Stage

In this stage, you make a formal decision to end your relationship. Whether you have hard feelings or not, you realize that you don’t get along anymore and feel it’s best to move on. If you were married, you might start or finalize your divorce. If you had been living together, you decide to go your separate ways. You tell family and friends about your separation as well once you’ve made the decision.

The importance of understanding the stages of a relationship

Many people become confused or overwhelmed about their relationship because of the emotions involved. However, even if you love someone, you may grow apart or realize you want different things in life. Understanding the phases that relationships go through will give you awareness if you and your partner start to drift apart. It will also help you learn when to give a relationship the green light if you’ve just started dating someone.

Final thoughts about the stages of a relationship

Relationships all go through phases, but not all of them will last forever. Some couples can weather the stormy seas, while others decide to jump ship and start over with someone new. Of course, every relationship is unique, and what is right for one couple may not apply to another. No formal rulebook for life exists; we have to make it up as we go.

Therefore, no matter what relationship stage you find yourself in, know that the right person will stand by you through all the phases. If your relationship must come to an end, try to take the lessons you learned from it and keep an open heart for Mr. or Mrs. Right. They will come along when you least expect it, so enjoy your life and go with the flow. Exit a disharmonious relationship gracefully, and wish your ex well along their path in life.

Relationships may seem complicated, but when you find the right person, you’ll have clarity about life that you’ve never felt before.

Lifestyle

Therapists Reveal 13 Reasons Couples Fall Out of Love

Therapists Reveal 13 Reasons Couples Fall Out of Love


Is your union secure, and you feel that you will never fall out of love? Don’t be so sure that you and your partner are solid. You’ve probably heard that 50 percent of all marriages in this country end in divorce.

The American Psychological Association backs up this statistic. Breaking up is hard to do, yet sadly many couples don’t make it beyond the five-year mark. Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a way to tell if you and your significant other will fall out of love long before it happens?

Thankfully, there are ways to tell if your relationship will last. You can examine things like your communication skills, bedroom habits, and how often you argue as indicators if you will make it for the long haul.

Here are thirteen signs that point to a rocky relationship that might not make it to forever.

1. You Take Your Anger Out on Each Other

Did you know that when you love someone, you are more likely to take your anger out on them? The key is that you interact more with your partner than you do anyone else, so it’s only natural to take out some of your frustrations on them. A study conducted in 2014 showed that this aggression is harmful to a relationship, and it pushes your lover away rather than bringing them closer to you.

2. There’s No Gratitude

Do you appreciate it when your partner spends the whole day cleaning and making a home-cooked meal for you? You should always pay attention to the smallest of things, and make sure you thank them for their efforts. Did you know that when you take a partner for granted, you undermine your relationship?

When you forget to say how thankful you are for their efforts, then you can compromise the physical and emotional health of the relationship. Gratitude should always be a part of your love language.

3. You Try to Change Each Other

One of the easiest ways to fall out of love is when a person won’t align with your perfect idea of a mate. Did you get together with your partner in the hopes that they would become someone else? Having a long-term relationship with someone who you want to change is never going to work.

Have you ever heard the old saying that a tiger doesn’t change their stripes? It’s because they can’t change who and what they are to appease you. Sure, some natural changes occur when you’re in love, but don’t expect to make them an entirely new person to fill your needs as it won’t work.

4. You Forgive, But You Don’t Forget

Every relationship has issues that require you to ask for forgiveness. While you forgive your partner, you must also forget the matter. Now, your brain can’t forget, but you can’t bring up the previous issues every time they make you mad in the future.

When one person is keeping score of the other’s wrongdoings, it sets a negative relationship dynamic. Part of loving and forgiving your spouse means that you release the issue and don’t use it to browbeat your partner with in the future.

5. There Are Trust Issues

When there are trust issues in a union, it makes for a rocky relationship. Sure, trust is not an easy thing to build, mostly if you’ve been burnt in the past. However, you must have a little faith in the person you are with if you want to grow old together.

When the foundation of your relationship is shaky from mistrust, then you can ensure that there will be physical and emotional problems with your union. At one point, you can almost guarantee that your partner will become tired of the trust issues and walk.

6. The Relationship is Full of Secrets

Do you have secrets that you keep from your partner? When you’re in a long-term relationship, it’s no fun to keep secrets. Sadly, many secrets cause you to lie.

When a partner tells the other that you can’t handle the truth, then they are saying that they don’t trust you with everything. Secrets in a relationship are one sure way to fall out of love.

7. There is No Compromise

What fun is a relationship if you never get any say? If you pick the restaurant this week, then your partner should get to choose next time. When one person dominates the union and makes all the decisions, it’s hard for the other person to feel important. Relationships are all about give and take, and compromise is essential.

8. You’re Not on The Same Page

For a relationship to be successful, you must both be going in the same direction. While you may think that love conquers all, it doesn’t. You must agree on the fundamentals, like if you want kids, saving money, and where you will live.

It’s easy to fall out of love when your goals don’t align. The differences between you and your spouse may start as a small annoyance, but they can fester into a significant wedge if allowed.

9. You Won’t Take Any Blame

Remember, as a kid, when nothing was ever your fault? You would always point your finger at your sibling or a friend to keep from getting into trouble. Sadly, this behavior can carry on with you into adulthood, causing you all kinds of problems.

You are not perfect, and your spouse can’t expect that you will be. However, it would help if you took your share of the blame with household and relationship issues. Let’s assume that you go over your grocery budget by $500 this month.

Rather than putting all the blame on your spouse, you must also take your part in the responsibility. Even if your partner does all the grocery shopping and cooking, you still have a hand in the matter. It may be that they need help with this aspect and rely on fast food and fancy eateries to cope with a lack of time.

Since groceries and eating is something you both enjoy, you must equally take responsibility in matters such as this one. Don’t be so eager to blame shift, or it’s one of the signs that you will fall out of love.

10. There Are Unrealistic Standards

Humans make mistakes, as no one is perfect. Your spouse is doing the best they can, but they are not infallible. If you expect your partner to be 100 percent perfect all the time, then you have unrealistic expectations.

When one person has such high requirements of the other one, it’s easy to become frustrated. Your partner will think that they can never please you, and you will feel that your partner doesn’t measure up. Stop playing the judge and quit expecting perfection.

11. You See Your Partner as Inferior

Relationships, where one person elevates their worth above the other is a recipe for disaster. When you have contempt for your significant other, it’s a telltale sign that divorce is looming. Do you continuously criticize what they do, show disrespect, are defensive, and stonewall them?

These are all indications that there is a deep rift in the union. A study in 2010 found that when one party shows content for the other, then it’s the “kiss of death” in a relationship.

12. Your Emotions Share No Similarity

Everyone has different emotions, but it can complicate things when conflict arises. If one person cries when they feel rage while the other hardly sheds a tear, it can be hard to be on the same page. Your emotional ranges don’t have to be the same, but they need to complement the other one.

For instance, if one person tends to shout and call names when you’re arguing, it can make the timid person who would never say anything wrong about you feel awful. You should have emotional similarities, or the imbalance can cause you to fall out of love.

13. You Stop Going on Dates

It takes a lot of hard work to keep a relationship alive, and it’s easy to fall into old routines. Once you commit to living together, you must try hard to make sure that romance doesn’t become automatic. Most couples waste their time on mundane tasks like grocery shopping, paying bills, or working.

However, everyday life can be far from romantic or exciting. You must make a special effort to ensure that you still do all those little things to keep the spark alive. Take your partner to the movies or out to a nice dinner.

You must put as much work into your relationship to keep your spouse as you did to attract them. Yes, you must still go on dates, even if you’ve been together for 20 years.

Final Thoughts on Recognizing the Traps That Cause Couples to Fall Out of Love

Do you see things on this list that show that you are in a rocky relationship? You can alter the course of your union by making some changes now. If you can’t seem to get on the same page with your partnership, then ask a counselor to help you sort things out.

It’s easy to fall out of love when massive issues make everyday life together challenging. So, if these issues exist, then you must work hard to alter then for the sake of your relationship.

Lifestyle

Find out Which Zodiac Matches Make the Best Couples?

Find out Which Zodiac Matches Make the Best Couples?


Zodiac signs and astrology may reflect a great amount of degree especially individual’s personal qualities and weaknesses of a person. Indeed, it is true that even the most critical people would have to agree at some point in their life that there might be times when they would be unwilling to believe. People search for zodiac signs compatibility, what is my zodiac sign, what is my zodiac signs meaning, march zodiac sign, compatible astrology, love compatibility by birthdate, love compatibility test, zodiac signs personality, relationship compatibility, zodiac compatibility calculator, horoscope compatibility for marriage, horoscope compatibility love match, zodiac signs compatibility chart, romantic compatibility by birthdate, marriage compatibility by name, astrology compatibility by date of birth, Indian marriage compatibility by date of birth, what zodiac signs go well together, zodiac compatibility calculator for marriage, marriage compatibility astrology, zodiac signs compatibility sexually, chinese zodiac compatibility calculator, and zodiac perfect couple. Read out the following information to know which Zodiac matches make the best couple.

Image source: Free Spiritual

Also, astrology can clarify for us how the sun signs connect with each other. The 12 zodiac signs that share the best chemistry together in a romantic relationship are mentioned below.

1. Libra and Leo (Zodiac Match)

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Leos are mostly known for their feisty attitude and they are extremely attracted to bold and confident individuals who possess the same qualities like them, Libras, on the other hand, are known for their soft, relaxed and timid personality. If a person who is not afraid to speak their mind out and whose confidence is not hindered by any social barriers tries to approach a Leo, then they are in great luck. It is true that opposites are attracted towards each other, similarly, the strong personality of a Leo and the shyness of a Libra will highly compliment each other. They both frame a profound chemistry of each differently as both show a balance of emotions of unbound energy brought by Leo and simply the correct level of love conveyed by Libra to keep things on a level.

2. Gemini and Libra (Zodiac match)

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As we also know that Libra’s have a very unique and quiet personality and also connect with people of similar nature but would be willing to share a relationship with a strong and confident person.  To be honest, Gemini also shares an almost same feeling of quietness from Libra and this sharing of personality and ideas joined with Gemini’s skill for imparting their thoughts make for a considerable measure of knowledge exchange. Both the signs will emotionally and mentally strengthen each other and will think that it’s easier when both of them similar goals and dreams to reach the utmost level of happiness and love in their relationship. Both offer the same basic Air sign and complement each other very well.

3. Aquarius and Aries (Zodiac match)

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Aries and Aquarius are known to either destroy the relationship or energize the relationship since both the signs share the same level of energy to wither push each other or come more closer to each other Both the signs together make each other strong because of the supporting personalities they possess. The reason why their relationship makes the other couples jealous is that both Aries and Aquarius have a strong urge to accomplish their goals together effortlessly. both f them love experimenting and exploring new things that other couples are mostly hesitant to do. Basically, when both these signs come together they exhibit electric sparks and a strong charm.

4. Aries and Cancer (Zodiac match)

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if you want to see how opposites are attracted to each other then this relationship is a great example. The relationship of these signs set up an example for us that how opposites are attracted to each other as Aries is the more dominating and overcome their weaknesses easily while Cancer is the person who likes to be pushed and is exceptionally very emotional and sensitive too. Aries may be a little distant, with a cold and hard shell yet Cancers may enable them to learn some things about sympathy. Thus Aries will help Cancer to discover their strength internally and turn out to be more powerful in the whole process. Both these signs will help each other to overcome the weakness and help each other rediscover themselves and their best traits in a way that will ensure their growth individually and also together.

5. Aries and Pisces(Zodiac Match)

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To be very honest understanding the chemistry between an Aries and Pisces is very difficult, however, when we are discussing emotions it is a perfect match. Pisces are extremely to the point and don’t like beating around the bush and always need to live in the moment without any worries for the consequences. Aries however, is somebody who stays firm in their point of view and once they set their eyes on a target they won’t rest until they accomplish it. Both have only one specific thing in common and that is making the most of their relationship to an extent where they can live without any stresses at all over the consequences of their actions. The issue with this Fire and Water sign is that they are impatient and too spontaneous which does not make the relationship much stable.

6. Cancer and Pisces (Zodiac Match)

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Both are naturally very sensitive individuals which imply they will be constantly very mindful and cherishing towards each other. Both are Water signs and offer comparable instinct in terms of emotional bonding. Both the signs know about each other’s feelings towards the relationship and are constantly working to keep the adoration for each other alive. The unconstrained idea of Pisces and the consistently positive attitude of Cancer adds, even more, love and affection to the relationship.

7. Leo and Sagittarius (Zodiac Match)

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Leo and Sagittarius are both fire signs and when they unite together in a relationship there will not be a dull minute between these two lovers. Both the sun signs are super aggressive and extremely powerful when it comes to making the most out of life and every moment. They exhibit a strong bonding energy to the relationship which is difficult to avoid and will attract others to them. Leos are attracted to mysterious and brave people whereas, Sagittarius perfectly fit the requirements of a Leo and they both together burn up others hearts.

8. Taurus and Capricorn (Zodiac match)

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Capricorn and Taurus make an adorable couple as both share the same perspective with regards to living life. They are both highly stable and sensible when making life decisions and this is both a quality and a weak point of their personality. As both are so genuine in their everyday exercises one person has to step back and appreciate the easily overlooked details throughout the everyday life.

9. Gemini and Aquarius (Zodiac match)

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Gemini and Aquarius share an awesome personality in a relationship together. As Geminis are always eager to explore new ideas and adventures and Aquarius being very open minded is never out of them. They perfectly complement each other an in a relationship and fit each other like a puzzle and keeping up a strong emotional balance in the relationship falls into place without any effort for them. Both the sun signs are always fulfilling each other’s needs and know how to grow together by respecting ideas like personal space and privacy.

10. Scorpio and Leo (Zodiac Match)

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Scorpio and Leo together give rise to a perfect unmistakable bond between two human beings. They humbly satisfy each other’s needs as Scorpio is somebody who knows how to persuade and deliver what needs to communicate to the other person. Leo wants someone who can constantly compliment them and praise their amazing personality. Scorpios are energetic to communicate in an unmistakable way and Leo knows how to keep the spark from fading away. The two signs are extremely possessive and loving of each other.

Article by Born Realist

Lifestyle

10 Long Distance Date Ideas for Couples to Build Bonds

10 Long Distance Date Ideas for Couples to Build Bonds


They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, primarily when you long distance date, your love. Perhaps you swooned over stories about lovelorn ladies writing to their beaus who were soldiers overseas. These heartfelt situations make some of the best romantic movies.

Some of the most common distant relationships still involve deployed military personnel and their lovers or spouses. Studies reveal that regular communication is vital to keep the bonds of love healthy while another partner is away. They found that hearing each other’s affirmation of love helped them cope with the difficulty of being apart.

Another familiar way that couples must love from a distance is while attending college. These couples realize that their education is essential to their future, so they sacrifice proximity for successful home life in the long run. For others, a lucrative out-of-town job may keep their partner away for days or weeks.

The temporary separation may be even more challenging for the partners who are away because they are homesick and lovesick at the same time. For centuries, love letters were the glue that kept distant relationships together. Today, computer applications like Zoom and Skype provide couples a chance to chat face-to-face in real-time.

How to Bring Your Hearts Closer When Your Lover Is Away

No one said that long-distance relationships are easy. It involves patience, understanding, and a lot of communication. However, relationship experts warn against constant contact because it could be perceived as controlling or desperately needy.

Are you cultivating a long-distance date night with your person? It’s not easy to be away from the one who holds your heart. However, you can still boost the romance factor in your relationship with long distance date ideas.

1. Watch a Movie Together

What were the movies you watched together when you first started to date? Surprisingly, not every couple bonded over romantic comedies or drama. Many found common ground while watching slap-stick comedy, adventure, and even thrillers.

Why not choose a flick from your favorite genre and watch it together on Zoom or Skype? Bring the total movie theater experience and suggest that your partner also makes some popcorn and snacks. Sit back, relax, and revel in each other’s company as you watch a beloved movie or pick a new one to view.

2. Have a Dinner for Two

Many treasured dates are spent around the table enjoying excellent food, drink, and romance. Food has been the language of love since the beginning. Even a lavish plate of delicacies and a vintage wine doesn’t taste the same when you dine alone.

You needn’t forego dinner reservations just because your sweetheart is miles away. Recreate the ambiance for dinner pour Deux over the computer, complete with candles and roses. Both of you dress in your most beautiful, have your preferred meal delivered, and dine together via Facetime.

3. Play Your Favorite Board Game or Video Game

Thanks to modern technology, you can play videos with other gaming enthusiasts from around the world. You can see the gaming scene, but specific programs allow you to see and talk to the other players. If you and your distant amour are gamers, it makes an ideal long distance date.

Ok, what if you both prefer traditional board games over high-tech video ones? Use a face-to-face program to play many of the classic games you love. These virtual games are just as easy to play as the real ones, and you can enjoy quality time with a little friendly competition.

4. Enjoy a Beautiful Sunrise or Sunset

What is it about the heavenly bodies that mesmerize us or instantly put us in a romantic mood? Think of the sweet whispers of love you’ve shared while gazing at a breathless sunrise or sunset. The minutes between dusk and dawn have always had a magical quality that entrances lovers.

It’s comforting to know that wherever your darling is, you can see the same sun, moon, and stars. If you are both in different time zones, you can schedule a long distance date to revel in a sunrise or sunset. Even if you are a day behind, you can watch the sunrise while it sets where your lover is and wish each other good morning or sweet dreams.

5. Get Cozy with a Good Book

The famous author C.S. Lewis proclaimed that when we read, we know that we are not alone. If work, school, or military deployment has taken your partner to faraway places for a while, you know about lonely. A long-distance date idea you might consider is sharing a good book.

Think of it as a book club for two. Choose a title, get a copy for both of you, and then read and discuss it during your virtual date. Do you have a panache for poetry? Why not learn to each other from your favorite poet or share some sonnets of love.

If you love to read, you probably enjoy writing, too. Have you ever thought of penning a short love story with you and your partner as the main characters? You might also try your hand at writing a heartfelt poem dedicated to your darling.

6. Share a Night of Romance under the Stars

Imagine lying with your lover on the lawn, caressed by the moon under a blanket of stars. Have the two of you ever relaxed in a hammock on a balmy evening and wished on a shooting star? Stargazing is a heavenly way to spend your long-distance date.

Bring your computers outside and use your video camera to give each other a glimpse of the night skies as it appears on each other’s side of the world. Try to trace the constellations as you delight in your lover’s company. Imagine you both are whisked away into the Starry Night by Van Gogh during this extended distant date.

7. Bring Out your Inner Artists

Since nobody has figured out if life imitates art or the other way around, we can assume that the two are intimately connected. Are you or your distant sweetheart a budding artist? You needn’t be Leonardo Da Vinci to channel what inspires you onto paper.

While it’s attractive to use various mediums for your art, a simple pencil and a sheet of paper will do. Have fun on your virtual long-distance date and hone your artistic skills together. Have you ever considered posing for each other to draw romantic portraits? These inspiring drawings can be as intimate as you like since they are for your eyes only.

8. Brainstorm and Daydream Together

Some of your fondest memories may have been the times you spent planning your future as a couple. Perhaps you lay on a blanket on the beach listening to the waves thunder their approval of your dreams. A long distance date may not have been on your plan, but you can still embrace the hopes and dreams that sparked your love.

While chatting live on your long-distance date, continue to share your dreams. You might need to adjust the goals and timing a bit, but they are still yours. Keep a journal together of your aspirations, and revisit them when you long to be together in person.

9. Fall in Love Again with Your Favorite Music

Just about every couple has an enduring song they claim as their own. Usually, this song invokes a particular time and place when you first heard it. Maybe it was played the first time you danced together or a song from your wedding.

Bring the magic of music into your time together and listen to some of your favorite songs. If you like to sing, you might surprise your distant mate with a karaoke version. If you are instrumentally talented, you can play the piano or guitar while you serenade each other.

10. Surprise Gift Exchange

Have you ever bought a gift for your lover just with the thoughts of the look on his face when he opens it? Unfortunately, you can’t have the same satisfaction when you send your gift through the mail, or can you? If you can resist the temptation and wait, you can open surprise gifts as a long distance date idea.

Send each other something thoughtful that each will love, and it needn’t be expensive. Are you a crafty person? Why not create a beautiful item by hand rather than to buy something? Handmade gifts are often more treasured than something from the department store.

On your face-to-face long distance date, open the gifts simultaneously to see the reactions. For some of these virtual gift exchanges, you both may consider gifting a humorous gag item for a memorable laugh. It doesn’t need to be a birthday or a holiday to send your special someone a gift that says you long to be with them again.

Final Thoughts of Keeping a Connection with These Long Distance Date Ideas

Modern technology and telecommunications have made virtual dating a reality. Whether your partner or spouse is in another city or across the globe, try some of these long distance date ideas. When you are in love, time and distance don’t matter.

Lifestyle

10 Habits of Strong Couples Never to Ignore 

10 Habits of Strong Couples Never to Ignore 


You’ve seen those pictures of the cute little elderly couple holding hands and smiling sweetly at one another as they celebrate sixty years of being together. They usually get asked the secret to their long relationship. It’s inspiring.  Many people wonder what strengthens a connection.  So, here are ten habits of strong couples to never ignore.

10 Habits of Strong Couples

1 – Communicate

One of the best practices of strong couples is their ability to communicate with one another. Communicating well means you can share what’s on your heart of mind without fear that the other person will laugh at you. Being vulnerable when you talk with someone deepens your relationship. Things you may want to talk about with your partner include

  • Goals
  • Expectations
  • Dreams
  • Disappointments
  • Fears
  • Joys

Communication also means feeling the freedom to share something your partner did that you don’t like without fear of them getting angry at you. One study found that couples who learn how to communicate during a conflict will sustain their relationship. It takes commitment to keep talking during a battle, instead of running away. You may need to take a break to calm down but then get back together later to talk it out. Strong couples value communication and make it work.

2 – Resist blame-shifting

Healthy, strong couples resist the urge to blame-shift. Blame-shifting is easy to slip into if you’re not careful, especially when you’re feeling upset. But it’s a damaging habit to a relationship. If you feel like your partner blames you without taking responsibility for their actions, you should gently push back. Point out their contribution to the problem and own up to your contributions. Tell your partner honestly how it makes you feel when they blame-shift. Sometimes people don’t realize what they’re doing or how they affect others. It’s essential to help them understand how their actions affect you. Stable couples can work through bad habits like blame-shifting and learn to change.

3 – Good listening

Listening is an essential skill in any relationship. It shows you care for them enough to hear what they’re saying to you. Checking your emails while they’re talking or glancing at the television while they pour out their heart won’t go over well. Your actions are clearly saying you don’t care. One study found that when a partner shows careful listening as their partner talks,  it improves their communication and boosts the overall happiness of the relationship. Healthy couples value good listening and desire to become better listeners.

4 – Assume the best about one another

Assuming the best about your partner means you aren’t believing that they’re being unfaithful, lying to you, or out to get you.  It means you trust them and their choices, and you don’t feel superior to them. This attitude can weaken your relationship. Your partner will feel they can’t do anything without being questioned and mistrusted. Strong couples have mutual trust for one another without jealousy or accusations about intentions.

5 – Laugh together

Strong couples know how to laugh together. They aren’t worried about how the other person will take a joke or loving “put down.” They deliver their humor with kindness, not being mean spirited. They don’t take themselves too seriously so they can’t laugh at themselves.  Like the old proverb says, “Laughter is good medicine,” one study revealed that laughter makes you healthier and helps fight stress. A strong couple knows how to use laughing to enhance their relationship and make it more fun.

6 – Emotional support

Supporting your partner emotionally means you encourage them in their difficulties at work or school, or home. Emotional support is essential because you feel like your partner understands you; they want the best for you and will do whatever they can to support you through tough times. Learning how to ask the right questions is vital for couples.

Healthy couples seek to learn how to help one another. They’re continually learning how to improve their relationship by reading books or encouraging quotes, listening to podcasts, or attending seminars on how to build better relationships.

7 – Encourage one another

Encouragement is a great way to build up your relationship. It’s something that a lot of couples don’t do. They assume their partner doesn’t need to be encouraged. Studies show that encouragement makes partners feel supported. Here are some encouraging things you can say to your partner.

  • I love you
  • You are amazing
  • I appreciate you did that
  • Thank you
  • You make me feel loved
  • You make me feel cared for
  • I’m so glad you are my partner
  • I missed you today
  • I appreciate your thoughtfulness

8 – Have the same friends

Having your friends is great, but strong couples make it a priority to have shared friends. Hanging out with other couples can help your relationship. As the couples share what’s going on in their relationship, you’ll find out that your relationship has many of the same struggles. You also learn from other couples how not to act. If you notice the cruel way one partner treats their partner,  it makes you not want to do that in your relationship.

9 – Show respect

Stable couples respect one another. Respect means you regard their feelings, rights, and opinions. Other ways to show respect include

  • If your partner asks you to do something they need, you are ready to help them
  • No eye-rolling
  • No sarcastic or snarky comments
  • Patient rather than irritable
  • Being compassionate
  • Allow them to contribute their ideas freely
  • Acknowledge how important they are
  • Apologize when you make mistakes
  • Take responsibility for hurtful words or actions toward your partner
  • Forgive quickly without strings attached
  • Show respect in public

10 – Commitment to the relationship

One of the best habits of a strong couple is that they are both committed to the relationship. They showed determination from the beginning. They want the partnership to succeed. Here are some ways to tell if your partner is committed to your relationship:

  • They build you up, not tear you down
  • They say “we” instead of “I”
  • Both partners value the relationship
  • Don’t look around at other potential choices of partners
  • Value the relationship above other relationships

Strong couples are willing to sacrifice for the sake of the relationship. One study found there was greater trust in a relationship for couples as they saw their partner moving away from self-interest for the relationship.

How can you help your relationship?

All relationships need to grow stronger. Even small things can make a big difference in a relationship. Here are some simple ways to strengthen your relationship.

  • Have a date night-Getting out once a week to do something as a couple will enhance your relationship.
  • Small things are meaningful-Little gifts, flowers or a dessert can be meaningful
  • Call or text-Reaching out to your partner to say hello means a lot to your partner
  • Ask questions-Even after being together for years. You can learn something about your partner
  • Show affection on a regular basis-Affection is critical for a couple. Without love, you may as well have a business relationship
  • Get time for yourself, too-Being a couple is important, but you need time alone, too. Get out once awhile on your one for a meal with a friend or family member.

Strong couples are easy to spot. You can’t ignore them. They’re the ones who show one another respect in public,  listen to one another, and are committed to making their relationship successful. They communicate well. They’re easy to spot because they don’t care what others say about them; they care more about one another and what the other partner thinks is important.

These partners stick together through the tough times. They find ways to grow their relationship, so it’s even stronger. Strong couples get old and gray together, and that’s something to never ignore.

Connect with your partner by asking questions

Our needs, dreams, and goals change in life. Strong partners keep attuned to those shifts. Ask questions to ensure you remain aware of your spouse’s evolving needs!

Sometimes it’s hard to come up with good questions. Here’s some you might want to ask your partner.

  • What would a romantic night look like to you?
  • Do you have any fears?
  • If you had an hour and wouldn’t get interrupted, what would you do?
  • Is there something I could do to help you with work, school, the house?
  • What do you sometimes feel anxious about?
  • Is there something you wish I did more? Less?
  • Do you feel like I meet your needs?
  • Am I affectionate enough?
  • Can you count on me?
  • Are you happy with our sex life? How can I help make it better?
  • Would you like to be a singer? An actor?
  • What is a perfect day, in your opinion?
  • What’s your favorite song? A beloved cartoon character?
  • If you were on a desert island, what two foods would you want to have with you?
  • What’s the worse experience you had in elementary school?
  • What do you think is vital in friendships?
  • What’s your most treasured childhood toy?
  • What was your most embarrassing moment in high school? College?
  • When was the last time you cried in public?
  • Who was your favorite teacher in middle school? Why?
  • What was your favorite pet growing up?
  • If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?
  • Who is the most influential person in your life?

Final Thoughts on Adopting the Habits of Strong Couples

Others around them may envy strong couples. But the underlying truth is clear. They work hard together to maintain that happy status. Every relationship deserves such thoughtfulness and care. And any couple who wants to strengthen their partnership can apply these same principles.

Lifestyle

10 Things Couples Can Do To Change A Bad Relationship

10 Things Couples Can Do To Change A Bad Relationship


Many people wish for the fairy tale romance where they all live happily ever after. Isn’t that everyone’s romantic goal in life? When you find your soulmate, everything should be sunshine and roses for the rest of your life.

Unfortunately, couples living happily ever after only happens in fairy tales and movies. You’ve lived and experienced enough to realize that nobody has a perfect relationship or marriage, and anyone can have a toxic partner. It can happen to anyone.

Are you a person struggling in a bad relationship? Even though we all have disagreements and may want to call it quits, the good usually outweighs the bad. What if your relationship is more tumultuous than fulfilling?

How do you realize when your relationship is worth saving or not? Do you continue to your partner in your future, or do you feel doubtful or unnerved about it? Life is too short to stay miserable.

Is it possible to salvage a bad relationship? If you both have committed to making it work, there’s hope. Consider these ten tips for reconnecting with your lover.

bad relationship

1. Go Back to the Start

When you are playing classic board games, getting sent back to start is a bad thing. In a faltering relationship, starting from the beginning, maybe your saving grace. It brings you back to the things that connected you in the first place.

Sit down together and have a heartfelt conversation about when you first met. You can write down some points to share with your partner. What attracted you to the other person and made you stand out from the rest?

In revisiting roads of the past, you may discover where you lost your love along the way. The things that formed a bond then have the power to recreate one now. Perhaps you can retrace your steps to reverse a bad relationship.

2. Offer and Receive Forgiveness

Since no human is perfect, an ideal relationship is impossible. No matter how much you are in love, you both are bound to make mistakes that hurt one other. However, when a toxic partner keeps making the same mistakes, it makes them a life habit.

There will always be thorns on the roses, and there will be many times when you are angry at each other. In a healthy relationship, couples can usually wait out the storms and find healing. Some grievous trespasses are not so easy to forgive.

One of the worst casualties in a committed relationship is cheating. It’s a betrayal that rends your heart and crushes your spirit. Frequent disagreements can also fester and create unreconcilable differences that can destroy a couple.

If you both have decided to move beyond whatever rift you had, it can only be done with forgiveness. It is a chance to offer the offending partner the opportunity to change. It’s in no way excusing or forgetting the offense.

Are you the offender? Ask for forgiveness, but you must also learn to forgive yourself. Now, you must also learn to trust again as a couple, and you should learn from previous mistakes.

3. Learn How to Connect Again to Improve a Bad Relationship

When you first fell in love, you probably wanted to spend every waking moment talking and being with your person. As time passes, some couples get used to the relationship and take the other for granted. You may have said a million times in the beginning that you can’t even breathe without talking with each other, but you soon realize you can.

In a healthy relationship, both people learn to connect on a physical and spiritual level. It goes beyond the superficiality of sex. When you are genuinely in love, you are still interested in what your partner says and feels.

When’s the last time you put down the phone or stepped away from the computer to have a meaningful conversation? Do you know what is happening in your partner’s life at this moment? A relationship can’t survive unless you stay in constant, loving communication.

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4. Go Out on a Date

Married couples often get in a rut and lose the excitement they once had. Loss of interest can quickly lead to a bad relationship. Even if you must move some things around on your schedules, making time for each other is crucial.

Set aside a day or an afternoon each week just to go on a date. Go for a walk in the park or make dinner reservations at your favorite restaurant. Bring back the fun and spontaneity in your love life.

5. Become a Toxicity Detective

While you review the internal reasons, your relationship may be going south. You should look for external ones that are toxic. Many marriages and love relationships have been ruined because of outside forces. It’s up to you to identify and eliminate them as much as possible.

Do you have friends or family members who offer nothing but negativity? Perhaps, these people are continually playing you against one another. Until these toxic folks follow reasonable boundaries, it’s best to stay clear of them.

6. Set the Game Rules

Nothing succeeds in this life without rules and boundaries, including relationships. If you and your lover haven’t set healthy boundaries, then the relationship can’t last. How can either of you be upset with a broken rule if the rule hasn’t been established?

For your relationship to flourish, set clear expectations and guidelines with each other. Don’t expect your partner to be a mind reader. When you outline and understand reasonable boundaries, you are more likely to enjoy mutual respect.

If your partner feels uncomfortable spending time with you, then they should voice their feelings. Are there issues that are non-negotiable in the relationship, such as substance abuse and how you define cheating? Remember not to expect anything from your lover that you are not willing to do yourself.

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7. Learn to Color Outside of the Lines

Just because you have established mutual boundaries doesn’t mean the relationship should be static and boring. Einstein once observed that the meaning of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results. People in a relationship crave variety and the element of surprise.

Break out of your rut and do something different with your partner. Take a spontaneous trip or start a fascinating hobby together. Spice up your romance and do something totally out of character for you.

8. Leave the Past in the Past to Avoid a Bad Relationship

The demise of many relationships is an unrelenting memory. As you work on forgiveness and empathy together, discuss ways to acknowledge the past and leave it there. Otherwise, past transgressions will still hold a death grip on you.

When re-evaluating the rules and boundaries, set one for arguments. Make a pact not to use the past as ammunition. If past grievances are still lethal weapons, a bad relationship is inevitable. If you both can’t go beyond the hurt, your connection will suffer.

9. Be Each Other’s Best Friend Again

Everyone needs a circle of friends beyond their love relationship. It is normal to have a girl’s night out or a weekly guy’s poker game. Isolating yourself as a couple can be just as damaging to a relationship than neglecting each other.

Yes, you probably have people you consider your best friends. However, conflict can arise if your mate isn’t at the top of your list. Nobody wants to take second place to another, especially if it’s a person of the opposite sex.

You must include time to have fun with your besties, and don’t be afraid to spend some time alone because it’s healthy. Consequently, you must try to spend just as much quality time with your lover, who should be your best friend. Like a flower, a relationship will die without proper care and attention.

10. Seek Professional Help

Some bad relationships have so many variables, and it makes it difficult for couples to reconcile. If you and your mate have decided that your relationship is on the rocks and it’s worth saving, you may need professional counseling. Just admitting there is a problem is a giant step in the right direction.

It’s not a sign of weakness to seek couples counseling. Venting to a neutral party can be helpful, and the counselor may draw out solutions you never considered. For some couples, the relationship may be beyond repair.

If your partner is toxic or abusive in any way, then it’s time to leave. You deserve someone to love and care for you ultimately. An experienced couple’s counselor can help you sort through these issues in a safe, non-judgmental atmosphere. If your partner is unwilling to seek counseling as a last resort, you may need to re-evaluate your relationship.

bad relationshipFinal Thoughts: Know When to End a Bad Relationship

You don’t have to stay in an unhealthy, bad relationship just to feel needed and loved. Discuss these suggestions with your partner if you feel like you’re drifting apart. If you’ve done all you can do and things are still unbearable, then it’s probably a cue that it’s time to move on with your life.