Parents have a big responsibility on their shoulders. Not only do you have a career that you must keep up with, but you also juggle your household responsibilities while raising children. Is it any wonder why therapists say that date night and bonding time with your partner is essential?
Somewhere in the mix of all the things, you must do in a day is the responsibility to take care of you. Your partner also has essential needs. Think of your relationship as a plant. If you never water your houseplant, what will happen in a week, month, or a year?
The plant will lose its color as it dries up and dies. Your relationship must be watered and pruned to blossom into something great. Bonding time with the one you love is not something that is done when you have nothing else to do, but it should be prioritized.
Why is Date Night Important?
If you’ve put your relationship on the back burner so that you can focus on the kids, your job, and all the other things you need to do, you may find yourself alone. Here are the reasons why therapists say that you need to incorporate weekly date night into your life as the social isolation can be damaging.
1 – You Need to Stay Connected
You need to have a set date night where it is all about you and your love. You want your relationship to take precedence in your life too. When you have a scheduled night, it gives you time dedicated to talking about all the things going on in your life.
Many couples just give each other a quick kiss on the way out the door in the morning, come back home to a house of chaos with dinner, chores, and get the kids bathed and to bed. There is little time to devote to one another’s needs. Some people find it quite romantic to have a time set aside that is just for them.
During your date, make sure there is a quiet place where you can talk. Just because you have children and careers doesn’t mean that you stop dreaming. Where do you see yourself in a year, five years, or a decade from now? Growing old together takes careful planning, and you want to make sure you’re both on the same page.
Connecting with your partner is about more than romance. You need to communicate on a spiritual level. If you want your relationship to last and thrive, then you will ensure that a date night is planned each week. Don’t give them the leftovers of your hectic life. Instead, make sure that they are a priority.
2 – Your Children are Watching
Teaching and training children are a big responsibility. They watch your every move, and they will even mimic you throughout life. How many times did you say that you didn’t want to be like your mom or dad, yet you find yourself using the same phrases and punishment methods with your children?
Your children are also watching how you treat their other parent. They will pattern their life and relationships based on what you teach them. If they grow up in a home of dysfunction where the parents are fighting and arguing constantly, they will think this toxic behavior is normal.
However, if they grow up in a home where they see their parents love and nurturing their relationship, these behaviors become commonplace. Think of it as planting seeds in a garden of life. One day, those seeds will sprout and form into mature plants.
Your children are like seeds. They are slowly growing and becoming wiser and stronger. When they are fully grown, you want them to be healthy and full of sustenance. They will use what they learn in their formative years to raise their family, and you are a significant part of this development.
Healthy relationships are essential as your children are watching you. If dad opens the door for mom, then the son learns that he should open the door for his partner in life. Showing the proper way to treat a lady or man has a ripple effect, and it will come back around.
3 – Your Needs Are Important Too
Every man and woman needs companionship as it’s a part of their makeup. You need to be cuddled, kissed, hugged, and have someone think you are spectacular. Your needs are essential in life.
If you do not have someone who makes you feel like the man or woman you are, then you will feel like something is lacking in your life. When the world seems cold and dark, you can always find sunshine and light in the eyes and heart of the one you share a relationship with.
Many couples put a great deal of emphasis on each other and their needs in the beginning. However, the cares of life tend to bog you down. When you’re no longer in active pursuit, it’s commonplace to lose the zeal and thrill of the chase.
However, you must put your needs at the top of your to-do-list. Love and relationships are an essential part of life, and they are just as necessary to a human being as getting your next meal.
4 – Parenting is Tough
One of the reasons therapists suggest that you go on a date night without the kids is because parenting is tough. You need to have one day where you can get out without your brood in tow.
You need one night where you don’t have children hanging on your every word and clinging to your legs, calling your name. Your mind, body, and soul need a break from parenting on occasion. Don’t feel guilty or like you are letting your kids down if you take a break.
The parent who takes time for their needs will do a better job and be more relaxed. Have you ever got to the point where you were so stressed out that any little sound made you feel like you were reaching the boiling point? Feelings like that can cause you to lash out when the situation isn’t nearly as bad as it seems.
You need a date night so that you can be a better parent. You will be surprised how wonderful you feel once you’ve had a break from the daily grind. It gives you a whole new perspective on life.
5 – You Need Something to Look Forward Too
Life would be pretty dull if all you had to look forward to was going to work and coming home to make dinner. It doesn’t matter if you’re 25 or 50 years of age, you need to have something that you anticipate.
Having a bright spot in your week can give you the strength to get up one more day. Life would be boring if all you ever did was work. Your date night should include things like:
•Trying new restaurants
•Watching the latest movies
•Taking long drives in the country with the radio blaring
•Going to concerts
•Going wine tasting
•Walks along the beach of a lake or the ocean
•Hitting the shopping mall
•Bowling or playing other games together
6 – Avoid Becoming Logistical Partners
The final reason you need to make sure you have a night for dates each week is that you will become logistical partners if not. Does the bulk of your conversations involve around who will take Suzie to piano practice, while picking up Bobbie from his baseball game?
Children can run you ragged, especially if they are involved in extracurricular activities. If you are like two ships that pass in the night, then your relationship will suffer. If your conversations are always about someone or something else, then you need to refocus your attention.
How many times have you heard someone say that they broke up because they just drifted apart? They are not mad at each other, and they didn’t leave on bad terms. It is just that they lost the closeness that they once felt. It’s sad because it happens every day.
Final Thoughts on Planning a Weekly Date Night
You probably feel like you’re pulled in 150 directions during the week. Your children need you; your job requires you, and your household needs you. However, the most important thing of all is that your spouse needs you.
To create a healthy family environment where your children can grow and be well balanced requires you to have a good relationship with your partner. Your children are watching how you treat each other, seeing if there is any affection, and they know if you would rather fight than be in the same room.
Remember all the reasons why you got together in the first place. Keep the flame and passion alive by incorporating a date night into your routine. The bonding time you create during this dedicated time is what you need to get through the pressures of life. It’s okay to feel like you are dating again and having fun. It’s what life’s all about.