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Getting cheated on sucks. It can cause so many confusing emotions. It can crush your world when you realize your partner is prone to cheat. However, no matter how bleak the situation may seem, you can bounce back from cheating stronger and better than ever.

Ten Ways to Recover After Discovering Your Partner Cheating

Here are ten ways to bounce back when you discovered your partner cheating.

1. Get a makeover.

One way to bounce back is to show your partner what they’re missing out on. Not only will a head-to-toe makeover accomplish this, but it will make you feel much better.

Get a new hair color and cut. Go shopping for a new, sexy outfit with new, sexy shoes. Don’t be modest with it! Go all out and get the most head-turning outfit (head-turning in a good way) you can find.

Get your makeup done by a professional makeup artist and don’t forget about a manicure and pedicure. By the time you’re done with your makeover, you’ll look and feel like a cover model and your partner will be regretting their infidelity.

2. Spend time with close friends.

After a partner cheats on you, it can make you feel alone. You may withdraw from people without even realizing you’re doing it. Even worse, dealing with the situation alone can make you feel worse.

A great way to remedy this feeling is by spending time with people who really care about you. It’s a great opportunity to plan a weekend getaway with you and people who will remind you of how amazing you are. Most importantly, they’ll help keep your mind off of your unfaithful partner so you aren’t wallowing in misery.

As a bonus, you’ll probably have loads of fun. Fun is always a great remedy for sadness.

3. Talk to a professional.

If you’re feeling really down about your partner stepping out on the relationship and you can’t think of any other way to shake it, you may need to seek professional counseling. Often talking to a stranger can be easier than talking to people you know.

Getting cheated on can often lead to a lot of confusing emotions. These emotions could affect you in ways you don’t even realize until it’s too late. Seeking professional counseling can help you keep yourself on track until you process the things that are going on with you.

If you feel embarrassed to talk to a counselor, try to understand that it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Plenty of people see counselors and it’s perfectly healthy and normal to need one when you’re going through heartbreak. Your sessions are also confidential, so you don’t even have to tell anyone you’re going.

4. Go to church or a spiritual gathering.

If you’re a spiritual or religious individual, and you find out your partner hasn’t been faithful to the relationship, a divine intervention could be in your near future. Turning to your faith can help you process what’s happened as well as get through it in one piece. In fact, you might come out of the other side better and more enlightened than ever.

There is a certain inner peace that can occur when you turn your troubles over to your faith. This can be further reinforced by worshiping with others who believe as you do. It’s almost like the combined worship multiplies your inner strength and helps you to get through the situation.

5. Fully process the emotions.

One big mistake that people make when processing trauma such as infidelity or a breakup is not processing their feelings. It can be natural to suppress what you’re feeling, especially if you don’t like being vulnerable around people. However, it’s important to realize that you’re human and that it’s okay to be vulnerable from time to time.

Finding out your partner isn’t faithful is definitely one of those times.

Dealing with your emotions is the healthiest way to bounce back from a cheat. licensed psychotherapist Vanessa Marin says that it’s okay to have these awful emotions because it just makes sense, and at some point, you’ll realize that the infidelity wasn’t about you. That’s where you’ll start to bounce back.

While you’re feeling your emotions, don’t let anyone tell you how to feel. If you’re angry, be angry. If you’re sad, be sad. If you’re feeling forgiving, forgive. Give yourself time to feel your emotions and process them. If you do that, you’ll bounce back faster than you can imagine.

6. Deal with the situation immediately.

You may feel the exact opposite way of that statement like you absolutely don’t want to deal with it right now. However, that would be a mistake. The main reason is that you’re simply putting off the inevitable and suppressing the feelings that come with it and you just learned that doing that is bad.

The other reason you want to deal with it immediately is that you can’t bounce back from something you haven’t dealt with yet. The longer you put it off, the longer it will take to heal from it.

This can be even worse if you live with your partner. Passive aggression can start coming out of nowhere even if you’re not intending to behave that way. When this happens, you’re not bouncing back, you’re acting out, so deal with it as soon as possible.

7. Don’t be anyone’s doormat.

An unfaithful partner is bad enough, but when they make you feel powerless, insecure, or unworthy, it’s time to stand up for yourself. You can’t bounce back if your self-esteem is down the drain. Dealing with someone who makes you feel bad due to their horrible actions is not going to help your self-esteem.

When your partner steps out on the relationship, you may begin to feel like you need to “do something” differently to make them faithful. This is simply not true. You can’t control the actions of other people.

If they take advantage of that situation, and you allow it to continue, this is where you’ll begin to feel like a doormat. Nip this situation in the bud. Keep in mind that you cannot make someone be faithful no matter what you do.

Once you accept this, you’ll be able to regain your self-esteem and bounce back from the infidelity.

8. Have fun.

Finding out your partner isn’t faithful can come as such a shock that the pain cuts deep. One way to bounce back is to have fun. This might sound ridiculous – after all, how can you possibly have fun when you’re heartbroken?

The answer is to fake it until you make it. Even if you’re just going through the motions, do things that you would normally think of as fun. The key is to do them with friends (as suggested in tip number two).

When you’re doing fun activities with friends, eventually the fun will take over, even if only for a little while. Those little breaks in sadness can be enough to fuel you until you can make a complete comeback.

9. Move on from the cheating.

It can be awfully hard to trust your partner once you become aware of infidelity. In fact, many people never trust an unfaithful partner again. Despite the lack of trust, some people attempt to stay in the relationship.

It’s understandable that you may want to remain in the relationship. After all, you weren’t the one who cheated because you love your partner. Unfortunately, your partner doesn’t value you the way you value them.

It’s hard and can feel like your heart is being ripped into a million pieces but if there is no trust in the relationship, it will never work. In fact, there is scientific research to support saying, “once a cheater, always a cheater”. It’s time to let go of your cheating partner for your own well-being.

10. Date other people.

You don’t have to immediately jump into another relationship but going out on simple dates can help to take your mind off of your partner’s infidelity. Of course, you should only date other people if you’ve completely ended the relationship with your partner. Otherwise, dating other people can further damage the relationship.

Dating other people can also boost your confidence after it’s been shaken by a cheating partner. It will help remind you that you’re attractive, you have a great personality, and that you’re desirable. This will be especially true if you happen to click with one of your dates.

Besides making yourself feel great, once your partner sees you out there on the market, they’ll regret stepping out on you. That could bring you some satisfaction that can make it much easier to bounce back.

Final Thoughts on Bouncing After You Found Out Your Partner Was Cheating

You’ve put your all into a relationship, so it really blows when your partner steps out on you. However, it doesn’t mean that you have to be depressed. You don’t deserve that. You may not know what the next step is in your relationship, but one thing is certain – you may not make a great decision without a clear head. Take some time to bounce back from the blow so you feel good again. Once your confidence and self-esteem are back, you’ll be better equipped to handle the situation.

Unrequited love is one of the worst things to experience. Most relationships start as a friendship, but overtime there develops something special that grows and blossoms. However, how do you know if your crush is really into you, or are they forever going to look at you as a friend?

Attraction can be physical, emotional, or spiritual. While you may fall in love with someone, it doesn’t mean that they feel the same way about you in return. You give the relationship time, and you wait, and nothing happens. How do you know if you should hang on hoping for more or if you should give up?

Signs You’re Stuck in the “Friend Zone”

One of the hardest things for people to do is to remove their ego from the situation. It’s hard to accept that there’s nothing more than friendship between you and the one you’re crushing on.

Sometimes, people flirt around and tease you, but it’s not meant to be a sign that they want more. Some people are flirtatious by nature. If you’re not sure how he or she feels about you, then here are some signs that show they don’t want to be anything more than friends.

1. They Only Hang Out with You in Groups

When two people are crushing on each other, then they want to spend time alone. However, if one person is stuck in the friend zone, then they will want to hang with the group. If you suggest that the two of you hang out, do they automatically say they will call your other friends?

If they know that you have feelings for them, they may use the group as a shelter to keep from leading you on. It’s also possible that they don’t want to be alone because they are afraid you will misread the situation, and they want to be just friends.

2. There’s No Flirting

When there is sexual tension between two people, flirting comes naturally. When a couple is developing feelings, they flirt. If there are no comments or gestures that let you know that they are into you, then it’s a sign that they want to be just friends.

Keep in mind that some people flirt because they are looking for a one-night stand rather than a meaningful relationship. You want to make sure you don’t fall into these traps because you will not get what you want from the situation.

3. They Don’t Text or Call You

Are you continually sitting by the phone and waiting for a text or call to come through? Are you stalking them on social media to see if they’re on? If someone is into you, then they will find every reason possible to call or text you. It’s all about making that contact.

It’s much easier for most people to text than it is to make a call. There’s no awkward dead space, and you can say how you truly feel. If the only conversations you have with this person are face-to-face, then it’s a sign that they are not interested in more.

4. There’s Always Physical Distance Between You

When you’re hanging out with your friends, do they stand close to you or far away? If you like someone, then you want to be by their side. There’s something magical about brushing up against them or making eye contact in a crowded room. These first glances and moves are the things that ignite passion.

Notice their body language when you’re in a group. Do they seem to be into your conversation or treat you like the others? It’s all foretelling about how they feel about you and if they want to be just friends or something more.

5. They Don’t Make Any Moves Towards You

Does he stare just a little too long? Does she stand a little too close to you? Are people starting to talk about you as a couple? Maybe these people see something that you don’t understand, or you are stuck in a rut of wishful thinking.

You need to make sure that their advances are pure, and they’re not just trying to hook up and move on. The last thing you need is for someone to play with your affections and want nothing more than to be friends.

6. They Introduce You as Their Friend to Others

When they introduce you to others, how to they classify you? Are you just friends, or do they add other adjectives like my “special” pal? How they categorize you means everything.

His or her friends may automatically think that you’re a couple if you stand too close. So they may feel the need to clarify the situation to others. If they introduce you as a friend to their parents or other relatives, then it’s a sign that there’s nothing more than friendship between you.

7. They Don’t React to Your Hints

If they aren’t moving fast enough for you, then try dropping a few hints. How do they react to your advances? Do they put up a wall and ignore what you’ve said or done, or do they flirt back?

When you put yourself and your feelings out there for this person to see, and they don’t do anything with them, then you know you’re stuck in the friend zone. Don’t waste your time or energy on someone who doesn’t want to be with you or isn’t emotionally available.

8. They Talk About Other Love Interests

It’s very hurtful when you have strong feelings for someone, and they talk to you about people they’re interested in dating. Now, keep in mind, they may be trying to see what your reaction is when they mention someone so that they can see if you have feelings for them.

The whole thing can be a test to see how you feel about them dating other people. On the other hand, most of the time, when someone is freely talking about other love interests with you, it’s because they don’t want to date you. They want to be just friends, and they are not trying to hurt you. They just want your opinion on their love life.

While it hurts as bad as getting your heart ripped out, you should give them an honest answer. It may not be in the cards for you two to be anything more than friends right now.

9. Your Gut Tells You It’s Not Going to Work Out

People were born with intuition, and women seem to have a distinct intuitive nature. You will often feel in your gut that it isn’t going to work out, yet you still pursue things. They say that the heart wants what the heart wants, and sometimes you must get your heart and mind in alignment.

If this situation has been dragging on for a while and there’s still no advancements, then it’s probably best if you move on. In some rare instances, a person may be shy or have issues from trauma or abuse, but most of the time, it means that they have no romantic feelings.

10. They Tell You They Only Want to Be Friends

Some people can’t take a hint even if that person comes out and tells them that they want to be just friends. You may try to rationalize the conversation in your mind thinking they were just fishing to see how you felt. Don’t spill your heart to someone who isn’t interested in picking up the pieces once you’re done.

There are too many people out there that will love and appreciate all the great gifts that you have to offer them. You should know up front that they’re not interested in you so that you can move on promptly. Don’t waste too much of your precious time on someone who doesn’t want to be with you in the way that you want to be with them.

Final Thoughts on Knowing That You Will Always be Just Friends

Too many times, people get in a big hurry to find someone right now. What you should be focused on is finding the right one. When things come into perfect alignment, you won’t have to worry about whether they like you or not, as they will be open and honest.

You’re wasting your time on someone who may have given their heart to someone else and doesn’t have it to give to you. Sadly, they may be emotionally skewed from watching their parents and other relatives go through a divorce or other horrific breakups. They may be afraid to get into a committed relationship for fear of what could happen.

Then, there are those people who don’t want commitments. They like to have fun and hook up, but they don’t want any ties. Always trust your gut instincts. When it’s right, you won’t have all these questions about being just friends because you will know.

Love and affection go together. You can be caring and warm with your dog, your children, and your mate, but each type of love is different. Some might even argue that you can show affection without love, but you can’t love without genuine attachment.

When you are in a committed relationship, gentle, affectionate actions are just as necessary as sexual connections, and maybe even more so. One of the biggest complaints in marriages and partnerships is a genuine lack of affection.

How people show their love and affection depends on many variables. In general, women tend to be more touchy-feely than men. Perhaps, it’s because females in our country are socialized from birth to be the nurturing ones, and they are usually comfortable with showing their emotions. However, males are taught to be rough and tough and to keep their feelings hidden.

A person’s culture also plays a role in how they show love and affection towards others. In studies across the globe, people from the Mediterranean or Latin American countries tend to openly show their warmth with hugging and generous kisses on the hands and cheeks. However, many Northern European and Asian cultures are usually more reserved and frown on public displays of affection, and holding hands is about as far as they go.

People who have been in past abusive relationships often have trust issues. The same is found in individuals who were physically and sexually abused as children. All these variables factor into future relationships where lack of affection is a common problem.

Affectionate Love is A Basic Need

Psychologists have already identified affection as a basic human need, just as much as they need for food, clothing, shelter, and acceptance. The problem is that many couples have a difference of opinion on how to show and receive affection. For some people, hugging, cuddling, and holding hands come naturally, and others must be taught how to show they care appropriately.

Are you in a relationship that could use some more warmth? You may know that your partner loves you, but you need him to show you more often. Here are seven ways to deal with a mate who is less affectionate than you would like.

1. Tell Your Partner What You Want

One of the most common mistakes in a relationship is to assume your partner can read your mind. While love brings a couple together, efficient communication keeps them together. How often have you been frustrated with your lover’s lack-luster affection and just stewed over it instead of saying something to them about it?

Since you’ve entrusted your mate with your heart, he is your safe place. You can talk to him about anything and know that he will listen and understand. If you want more cuddling and gentle touches from him, then tell him what you want. Many people are raised in an unaffectionate home and must be lovingly told how to show their love.

Be caring but honest in your conversation and not accusatory. If you put your lover on the defense, he will probably shut down and won’t listen to you. Choose a time when you are both relaxed and in a reflective mood, and don’t broach the subject when you’re both stressed and tired. During an argument, it’s never a good time to discuss affection issues.

Although you want to talk candidly with your mate, try to stay neutral and don’t stir up emotion. Your goal is to express your needs so you can work on a solution together. You are asking for more affection, not begging, which would make you appear needy and controlling.

Let your partner know that while you’ve never doubted his love and devotion, you just need more from the relationship. Tell him that yes, you love your sexual relationship as much as he does, but affection goes beyond the bedroom.

Afterward, listen to what he has to say. Chances are he never knew how you felt and that you wanted things to be different. Rather than ask how he’s going to fix it, ask what you can do to take your relationship to a new level of love.

2. Evaluate Your Attitudes about Love & Affection

If your notion of love and affection is based on the latest romance novel or your favorite soap opera, you’ll be sadly disappointed in any relationship in the real world. Realize that these are fictional characters that have few similarities with real life.

You’re bound to start a fight if you compare your lover to the ones you see on tv or in your books. After you’ve both had a long day at work, he probably won’t rush into the living room, ready to recreate a soap opera scene. You want unique love and affection from your sweetheart, not fake idealism from Hollywood.

3. Set the Stage

If displays of affection are forced, then neither partner benefits. If your lover isn’t used to being affectionate, the first few tries maybe a little awkward. To be more comfortable with showing his love naturally, try to create as many opportunities for it as possible.

For example, keep a warm, cozy blanket folded on your love seat in the living room. As soon as you sit together to watch a good movie, it will be natural for your mate to cuddle up with you in the blanket. Don’t be afraid to be the first to reach for his hand while you are strolling through the mall or sitting on a park bench.

Do you like for him to bring you unique little gifts just to say he loves you? Leave subtle hints about your favorite perfume or other things you adore. How can he surprise you with an evening of dinner and dancing if he doesn’t know your favorite restaurant?

4. Be Encouraging Every Step of the Way

Did he bring you a lovely bouquet and it wasn’t even your birthday or anniversary? Tell him how much you love and appreciate his loving gesture, and he’s apt to do more. Some men may be tigers in the bedroom, but they are like shy and awkward schoolboys when it comes to showing affection.

Smile warmly when he takes your hand to hold while you walk together in public. Let him know that you love it when he gives you a surprise kiss or a loving embrace. Be the example and return his affection, so he knows he’s doing it right.

As a loving mentor, do the things for your sweetheart that you would like him to do for you, as the Golden Rule of Affection. Whisper romantic words, reach for his hand to hold and do extraordinary things for him out of the blue. He can get the hint and start cultivating his affections.

5. Be Patient and Understanding

People cannot just look into the past and change their upbringing. Just as it took time for you to get to know each other and fall in love, learning to be more affectionate won’t happen overnight. The process may try your patience, but it will be worth the wait.

If your lover held your hand and cuddled with you yesterday and seems a little distant today, don’t be discouraged. Instead of getting frustrated, consider telling him that you loved the time you spent together previously. Your gentle reminders and encouragement can make all the difference.

6. Learn to be Playful Together

When was the last time you had fun together? There’s much more to a fulfilling relationship than intimacy. Playful affection flames the fire of romance and keeps the relationship fresh and alive. Are you or your mate ticklish? What could be more enjoyable than a few little tickles and giggles?

Learn to be spontaneous and laugh with each other. Play a game of tag in the yard that ends with a kiss, or splash in a warm bubble bath together. A little nibble on the ear or a flirty swat on the back end is some of the many ways to be creative with your affection.

7. Involve a Third Party for Help

There is no shame in asking for help to improve a relationship. It reflects your love and desire to strengthen the bonds that keep you together. For some couples, dealing with one partner’s lack of affection may require professional counseling.

There may be some past trauma or other issues that need to be resolved. Maybe you believe that your lover’s dwindled affection was somehow your fault. Consider couples counseling with a professional counselor that you trust with your feelings and situation.

If your partner is hesitant about seeing a professional counselor, maybe he would consider talking with a minister or a trusted family friend. Go in with the attitude that this is our issue, not just his issue. Your compassion may be the thing to get him to open up about his feelings.

Final Thoughts on Developing an Affectionate Bond For Life

In any relationship, both partners need and deserve affection. If you and your lover aren’t on the same page, you can work together for a resolution. A more affectionate relationship can bring you closer together for a lifetime of love and commitment.

Both automation and orchestration have the ability to make complex and repetitive business processes seamless, regardless of whether your data is stored in the cloud or an on-site server. However, many confuse orchestration and automation, but there is a big difference between the two. If you understand what each term means and how it can help your business, you will be more likely to make the right choice.

Understanding Automation

Automation is used for a single repetitive task that a bot completes without human intervention. Generally, automation is used for manual processes that are laborious and time-intensive. It helps to make the processes more efficient and reliable.

In the world of IT, automation can be used for a wide array of tasks and processes. Whether it is deploying or integrating an application, creating service tickets, or securing endpoints, automation can prove to be of great assistance. You can use automation for cloud and on-site tasks.

Understanding Orchestration

While automation is used for a single task or function, service orchestration software is used for the entire workflow. It can help you manage large-scale networks and the virtual environment. It is possible to use the software to integrate as well as schedule automated tasks between complicated and complex services and distributed networks. It enables you to simplify and streamline connected workflows, workloads, and processes that are repetitive.

With the help of orchestration, it is possible to automate the management, arrangement as well as the coordination of complex services, middleware, systems, and networks within the computing environment. It also aids in directing automated processes to support bigger and more complex workflows.

A majority of IT teams manage hundreds, if not thousands, of applications. Hence, it is not feasible to administer these applications manually. An RPA orchestrator is required to ensure you have access to available, performing, and dynamically scaling applications and systems so that the IT team is not weighed down by heavy burden.

The Difference Between Automation and Orchestration

Now that you know what is automation and orchestration, it is time to look at the difference between the two.

In simple and layman’s terms, automation is used for a single task while orchestration is used to automate multiple tasks within a workflow with the aim to streamline it and make it less laborious and time-consuming. In doing so, orchestration helps to optimize workflows.

A good example to explain orchestration is an app. When you use orchestration, it not only helps to deploy the app but also aids in connecting the application to the entire network so that it can communicate not just with the user but also apps in the network.

When you use orchestration for cloud computing, you can rest assured that the software will ensure automated spin-up activities, such as auto-scaling, occurs in the right order, and also follows the necessary security protocols and also makes certain that the permissions are in place.

Importance of Orchestration Software

In the modern IT landscape, automation plays an important role. It can handle repetitive workflows, deploy applications, and even manage the lifecycles of multiple applications. It works to facilitate enterprise-level security and also offers flexible monitoring as well as visualization.

In case you are wondering why organizations are embracing orchestration software, here are some of the benefits that you should know:

• It helps to minimize human error by automatically handling the setup as well as the execution of tasks that you automate
• Ensures users get the right permissions, thereby preventing unauthorized access to the automation system
• Minimizes virtually all human intervention for managing automatic tasks
• Makes the process of setting up data integration simpler by handling the governing policies related to the integration
• Provides a generalized infrastructure that takes away the need to build ad-hoc tools
• Offers wide-ranging diagnostics that enable you to debug and audit more quickly
• Integrates easily with existing data management systems

There you have it – the difference between automation and orchestration, and why companies are moving from manual orchestration to orchestration software. 

Raising good kids is no easy feat. Children don’t come with manuals, and you must make instant decisions that affect their lives daily. Things are even more compounded when you have an ex in the picture, specifically when they are narcissistic.

Is it possible to raise a child in a split universe where one side is balanced, and the other is off-kilter? A narcissistic ex is a person that thinks of themselves first. Indeed, they will do things that will cause your children great psychological harm. Behaviors like not showing up for a visit, avoiding child support payments, and neglecting responsibilities are commonplace.

Not only did you want to sever ties with this toxic person. However,  you are forever bound to them because of your children. Walking away is hard when they’re always going to be there in some aspect.

Tips for Raising Well-Adjusted Kids

You don’t want your narcissistic ex affecting your child’s mental health. To ensure that they are well rounded and can roll with the punches, here are ten things that you may want to do.

1. Don’t Make Your Child a Pawn in a Game

It’s not uncommon for ex-lovers to be in a bitter battle over children. However, you must be the bigger person and not allow this battle to take your child’s mental stability with it. Never use your child as a pawn in this dirty game.

Many people use their children to get back at their ex without even realizing it. Some examples of this would be to say, “You can’t see your father because he hasn’t paid his child support this month.” In this instance, the mother tries to make the father look less than in the child’s eyes. She is putting negative thoughts in the kid’s head about the worth of their father.

The child will surmise that their dad didn’t want to pay for their needs, but that may not be the case. Even though all the things she said may be right, it’s never good to use the child to get back at the other party.

Your child is not a messenger, and you should never give them a message to give to the other party. In many instances, the parent who uses the child’s emotions as a vise will be the one that it comes back to bite in the end.

2. Put Your Children in Counseling

Some parenting situations are high-conflict arrangements, and your children can feel the pain of these rifts. You would be surprised how this stress can affect even the youngest child. Kids often feel guilty and like they are to blame for the way their parents act.

A narcissistic ex will make poor choices, but they can also direct their behaviors towards their children. Your kids need someone that they can talk to and a place where they are safe to say how they feel. While they love both their parents, they need that unbiased third party to help them cope.

3. Use the Court System

The court is well equipped to handle high-conflict cases where children are involved. If you find that your narcissistic ex is making everything increasingly tricky, you can ask a judge to appoint a parent coordinator.

A coordinator has training in reducing the stress of the situation, and the most important thing is that they can ease some of the angst your child feels too. An attorney is needed to help get this motion put through the court system.

4. Get a Court Ordered Custody Agreement

You may feel that to raise a well-adjusted kid, you need to work with their mother or father without the court system. While in a perfect world, that would be the case; when dealing with a narcissistic person, you need the court’s intervention.

The courts will establish a parenting plan that is fair to everyone involved. It’s best to have these guidelines because it gives you leverage should things be challenging. You can file a motion for contempt if the other party isn’t cooperating, which can be beneficial in a custody battle.

5. Never Argue with Your Ex

It’s easy to want to challenge someone who is selfish and thinking about only their needs. However, it would be best if you remembered that your children could feel your stress. Part of raising well-adjusted kids is making sure they don’t see their parents arguing.

Remember, you’re never going to win a battle of words with a narcissistic ex, and you’re just wasting your breath. Save everything for a court battle. Go by the court guidelines, and don’t let them get one over on you. Keep in mind that your children are always watching and listening to what’s going on.

6. Establish Firm Boundaries

Dealing with a narcissistic is not easy, and they love to start drama. Their goal is to turn the situation around to make you look like an unstable parent. It would help if you didn’t give them any ammunition for their battle.

Communication needs to be done in writing, like through text or email, so there is always a paper trail. You don’t want them to put words in your mouth. Text messages can be used in court, and this method of communication gives you time to think before you speak. Some people find it’s easier to say things in a text than by phone or in person.

When it comes to communication with your child, there should be set times, and someone should be listening in on the conversation. The narcissistic parent may call and try to invade your visitation time, and this is usually the case when your kid has a phone.

Always leave your emotions out of the situation when dealing with your ex, and stick to the facts. If you get emotional in your dealings, then you are feeding the narcissist’s ego.

7. Keep Records

You never know when your narcissistic ex will take you back to court. These people often forget about the best interest of the child and only want to fill their agenda. Your detailed records can help you to prove to the court what you’re dealing with from this person.

Keep a file with a communication log, any legal papers, social media messages, and texts between you, your ex, and the children. Anything that can be used to benefit your case before a judge, you should keep.

8. Watch Out for Triggers

As your child begins to age and becomes an independent person, the narcissist may have a difficult time processing the feeling that they are not needed. It’s not uncommon for a narcissist to have a flare-up as their child’s growth is a trigger for past feelings of abandonment.

Another common issue is dealing with the narcissistic ex is holiday madness. Just like anxiety and depression is stronger for some around birthdays and major holidays, the same can be said for the narcissistic person. When you learn their patterns, you can take steps to protect yourself and your children from these times of emotional upheaval.

9. Ask for a Guardian ad Litem

A Guardian ad Litem or GAL is a representative that the courts can appoint for your family. These individuals are to be the voice of the child and to express the best interests and wishes to the court. If you’re in a battle with your ex, then you need this person to advocate and support the child.

A word of caution when dealing with a GAL is that they don’t always view things the way you do. They look at things from both angles and submit a report to the court detailing the child’s wishes and what they feel is the best situation going forward. A GAL is a valuable person that can stand up in court and be an unbiased third-party working for the child.

10. Take Care of You

Make sure to spend the time to take care of your needs. How can you love and nurture your children if you’re continually using all your emotional and physical reserves to fight your narcissistic ex? A custody dispute is one of the most draining battles of your life, and you need to make sure that you don’t fall to pieces.

Don’t feel that getting a court advocate or a Guardian Ad Litem makes you weak. These people help you stay strong as they are there to assist in the battle. It would help if you had a counselor that you can talk to and clear the air about things going on in your life, and you need to take a break whenever possible.

Final Thoughts: Stay Strong for the Sake of Your Child, Despite Your Narcissistic Ex

You’re fighting to raise well-adjusted kids. Though you may not see an end to the battle in sight, there will be a day you look back on all these experiences and be glad there are over.

The narcissistic ex can make your life seem impossible, but you should stop and consider how your child feels. Your kids might feel caught in the middle of a tug-of-war, and they love both of their parents.

No one wants to admit that they’re wrong. It’s not a comfortable position for you to be in. When you acknowledge that you’ve made a mistake, it makes you feel defenseless, weak, and exposed.

Some say that when you admit that you’re incorrect that it makes you feel somewhat inadequate. Perhaps this is why so many people keep heated arguments and debates going when they should have been finished long ago.

It all comes down to the psychology of the situation. A human needs to feel that they’re correct, even if they’re not. Even when there is evidence that proves your wrong, why is it so hard to admit it?

Emotions Get in the Way of Logic

You’re a complex being that is driven by both instinct and emotion. How often have your feelings taken over and caused you to do or say something that you regretted later? It’s because emotions are powerful, and they can get in the way of your ability to use logic.

When there’s a topic that you care deeply about, your emotions kick into overdrive. Your reasoning skills are thrown out the window as you’re willing to argue to the bitter end over your passions. If there is something that challenges your beliefs, you may find it tough to accept that what you believe isn’t true.

For instance, you may believe that the Earth is flat when the vast majority think it’s round. You can receive proof from scientific studies, but you still feel intense about your opinions. Thus, your emotions get in the way of logic.

Galileo Risked it all For a Heliocentric Beliefs

In the 17th century, the Catholic Church was in an uproar because Galileo, the famous scientist, dared to think that the Earth was not the center of the universe. The Church believed that the sun revolved around the Earth, and since Galileo felt differently, a vast argument came about that split the people.

Galileo was right in his theories, but heliocentric beliefs weren’t commonplace, and they were against the teachings of the ministry. He was labeled a heresy and shunned.

It didn’t matter that Galileo was right, as the Church would never admit they were incorrect. They let pride get in the way, and it took more than 300 years for them to realize he was right finally. Now, you know that the sun was the center of the universe and the Earth revolved around it.

Galileo stood firm in his beliefs, but he wasn’t alive to hear his name vindicated. This story shows that when something challenges what you believe, it’s natural to reject those things. Some may even feel insulted that their beliefs are challenged.

It Takes Immense Strength to Admit You’re Wrong

When someone or something challenges you, it’s natural for you to reject them or their ideas initially. The reason is that you feel that offended, perhaps a bit disrespected, and vulnerable.

You have an instinct inside of you that believes you are correct, and you have pride in your beliefs. Even if you are incorrect, you don’t want to consider it. Did you know that admitting you’re mistaken about something takes immense strength? Have you ever been around someone that wouldn’t admit they were wrong no matter what?

Consider a child with a cookie in his mouth that tells his mom he never got into the cookie jar. The mother can see the chocolate on his face, yet he won’t admit to what he’s done. The child fears that he’s going to get into trouble, or he doesn’t want to let his mother down. To avoid disappointing his mom, he lies.

How often have you been afraid to admit your wrong about a matter because you worry that people might be disappointed in you, think you can do better, or have a different opinion of you once the truth comes out?

Your pride is afraid to put yourself in a vulnerable position so that you may know deep down inside that you’re incorrect in a matter, but you will never admit it.

Vulnerability Isn’t Always a Bad Thing.

Have you ever had a boss that made horrible business decisions, but they would never admit they made a mistake? If they were to accept their blunder, then their employees would question their authority and competency.

Being wrong shows others their inept nature and weakness. Let’s assume that a manager needed to make cuts in his trash company. He felt the logical place to make these deductions was in labor.

The current staff was given over time, and they were on the road more than before. Sure, the company saved money because it didn’t have to pay employee benefits and labor to many people. However, as a result, there were several costly accidents that more than exceeded the amount he cut from the budget.

The employees were exhausted, several quit. Indeed, finding the staff became impossible. The boss made a mistake by pulling money from an area that desperately needed it. However, it’s going to be exceedingly challenging to admit that he was wrong because the employees won’t trust him in future rulings.

How different would the situation be if he went to his staff and admitted he made a mistake and was going to correct it? It could be what was needed to turn the whole company around. Thinking that these employees will forget what happened is delusional and insulting.

Admitting to the mistake and rectifying it quickly will allow people to retain confidence. A manager must be able to develop and maintain relationships, and you can’t do that unless there is trust.

Don’t Be Afraid to Embrace Failures.

When you admit you’ve messed up, it may make things complicated for a while. Think of it like this; “if you take out the trash now, it won’t have time to sit there and stink up the place.”

You will show others your courage and character when you come forward and say that you messed up, then apologize for these actions. A leader doesn’t need to be infallible to be successful. When you accept your imperfections, you can overcome your insecurities and the fears that hold you back.

Did you know that many famous people had to admit they were wrong? History always writes about the victories, but sometimes you must consider the defeats. Remember the famed candy maker Milton Hershey? He built one of the biggest chocolate empires in the world.

People may think that he had it all and was one of the richest men in the country. However, Hershey made many mistakes along the way that cost him everything. He filed for bankruptcy two times on his dream.

The failures of those attempts might have stopped many people, but it only drove him to try harder. The third time, he learned from his mistakes and turned the chocolate world on its head with the Hershey Bar, and the rest is history. What if he didn’t admit defeat and try again?

The world might not have had a Mr. Goodbar or Reese’s peanut butter cup. Hershey is a perfect example of learning from your mistakes, picking yourself up, and trying again.

Living in a Perfect World

Part of the reason why people are so reluctant to admit their failures is that society pushes perfection. There’s nothing immoral with wanting to be a success, but it’s not always attainable. You will stumble, fall, and learn many lessons along the way.

You must learn that failing is both inevitable and necessary in life. It helps you to identify your strengths and weaknesses, allowing you to grow as a person. Life brings lessons that are sometimes painful, but they are necessary.

Remember the story of Thomas Edison? He created the light bulb, the record player, electric pen, movie cameras, and tons of other things. However, did you know that his teacher told his mother that he was unteachable, and due to his mental deficiencies, he was removed from school?

However, his mother didn’t care about all his mistakes or problems. She homeschooled and taught him everything he needed to know. Though he made many errors in life and had some challenges, he became one of the great minds in history.

Final Thoughts on Learning Life Lessons and Admitting When You Are Wrong

Everyone has flaws, and you are going to make mistakes along the way. Accept that you’re not perfect and that when you stumble, life is just teaching you a lesson. It’s complicated, but once you learn to say, “I was wrong,” it will change everything for you.

People respect those people who can admit defeat, and you will respect yourself too. If all of society were perfect, then it would be a boring world to live in. There is no one else like you on this planet, so you must embrace the times you fall and use them as life lessons to arise bigger and better than before.

There’s not a person alive who is not guilty of at least one little white lie in their life. While constant deceit is a character flaw, in some instances, it’s socially acceptable to fib. However, what about significant dishonesty in a relationship?

Someone who continually tells untrue things is not trustworthy, and do you want to be in a relationship with that person? Those who deal with this person daily may have a hard time separating the fibs from the facts. Even worse is being in a relationship with an individual who lies to you and can’t be honest about anything as pathological liars don’t make suitable partners.

How do you know that your spouse isn’t truthful with you? If they don’t feel guilty and can quickly tell you any story that they can dream up, it may be hard to know if they’re honest or deceptive. Thankfully, here are ten signs that will help you determine if your partner is being trustworthy or making up stories.

10 Signs That Your Partner Might Be Guilty of Lying to You

1. They Put the Blame on Others

It’s a natural defense mechanism to blame someone else when you’re dishonest or caught doing something wrong. Anyone can be testy or even arrogant when confronted, but if you notice that they throw the question back on you or want to blame everyone under the sun, then it’s clear that this is a guilty move.

The goal is for them to keep you on the defensive so that it shifts the responsibility from them. This move helps to ease a guilty conscience. It’s childlike to point the finger at everyone else, especially when there are always for pointing right back at them.

2. Liars Have an Answer for Everything

If you’ve watched any crime investigation television, then you know that people who are in trouble often collaborate to cover themselves. When you ask your partner if they’re lying, do they have an answer for everything when you confront them?

When they quickly have an explanation for every little inquiry, then it’s possible they took the time to get their story together. Don’t be shocked if they ask you to call a buddy or even a relative to back up their claims. The more people they have on their side, the easier it is for you to ease your suspicions.

3. Lying is Not a big deal to Them

If you’re trying to decide if your partner is dishonest, you can use their character to help you. Have they lied to you before? Have they cheated, spent money frivolously, or done other things that they’ve tried to hide from you in the past?

Some people have no problem lying about anything and everything. Your partner may justify his actions because they state that they don’t want to hurt you. Remember one thing, when someone lies about the small stuff. Then they will have no problem fibbing about the big stuff too.

Often, the lies are to ease their guilty conscience and to make you feel good about the situation. If they are dishonest about essential things, staying in the relationship can be challenging as all excellent unions are built on trust.

4. They Repeat the Same Story Over and Over

Do you notice that your partner keeps repeating the same story time and again? If the tale they tell is the truth, then there’s no need to keep repeating it. Who are they trying to convince here, themselves, or you?

The book “Woman Are Crazy; Men Are Stupid” clearly defines the gender roles taken in disagreements. One detailed finding is that men tend to repeat the same story when it’s a lie. It’s a little mechanism in their brain that tells them that the more they say it, the more accurate the statement becomes.

5. They Become Overly Defensive

It’s normal to be defensive when you’re being accused of something. However, if you find that your partner becomes fidgety and won’t look you in the eye, then there’s something that isn’t adding up. Eye contact is imperative when you’re having a serious conversation.

The chances are that a person who becomes defensive is not truthful and is guilty as sin. They may get angry, start yelling, calling names, or go crazy when someone accused them of something. Remember, the best defense in life is a potent offense, and this tactic is all smoke and mirrors.

6. Liars Cover Their Tracks

Let’s assume that you think your partner is cheating on you. They will cover their tracks to keep from getting caught. They may put a lock on their phone that won’t allow you to see calls and text messages, or they can change passwords on accounts that you share.

Does your partner carry two cell phones? This is almost always a sign that something isn’t quite right unless one is a company phone. Does your partner go to the shower as soon as they get home, and have they started paying for everything in cash? These are all signs that something is amiss.

7. They’re Distant and Secretive

They say that silence is golden, but that’s not when a partner is keeping something from their other half. Some people may get defensive when they’re guilty of wrongdoing, but others become noticeably quiet. Have you noticed that your special someone is not acting like their usual self lately?

What you can’t see is an internal struggle that they’re not telling you anything about. They may refrain from speaking because they don’t know what to say. They figure that the least said is best answered.

You may notice that they avoid coming around you too. They may work late to keep from coming home and having to face you. Avoidance is a strong indication that something isn’t right.

Also, you may notice them taking their phone calls in the other room or silencing a ringtone. They don’t want to talk in front of you, so they will take their conversations outside or avoid them when they are in your presence.

8. The Details Don’t Add Up

When someone is guilty of wrongdoing, then they often forget what they’ve told you. They may change details in their story because it’s difficult for them to keep it straight. When a person tells more than one lie, then the chances of them keeping all the lies in order is next to impossible.

Since keeping it straight is hard, many won’t speak at all. However, when you do get them to talk, the details may not add up. You may notice that the name of friends, locations, or places change from the story.

Even if you comfort them at this point, they will still lie to you. You need hard evidence before you can prove that they’re deceitful.

9. He Won’t Talk About Anything Too Deep or Personal

This tip is for someone who is new in a relationship or just getting to know someone. If your dating interest wants to pursue a relationship with you, they will want to learn everything they can about your life and vice versa.

If a person thinks that you’re getting too personal and wants to back off the conversation about past loves, family, or other matters, then it’s a red flag. They may have a guilty conscience of things they’ve done in the past, and they don’t want to share these things with you.

A proper person will answer your questions in-depth, especially if they want to know you better. If they avoid your queries and change the subject, then it’s a sign that they have something to hide.

10. Your Gut Tells You That Something is Off

Lastly, you should use your intuitive side to find out if your partner is guilty. It’s a feeling that you get in the pit of your stomach that something isn’t quite right. You have these knots for a reason, and you should trust your gut.

Did you know that most people know that they’re being lied to long before they admit it? It’s normal for people to delay actions on their intuition. Individuals tolerate a lot of excuses before they finally take action. You can end the torture by just going with that gut instinct and using old fashioned confrontation.

Final Thoughts of Dealing with a Partner Guilty of Lying

Matters of the heart are often involved. If you find the right person, you won’t have all these questions and doubts about their honesty. However, just because the individual you begin dating starts out good doesn’t mean that the relationship won’t have its share of ups and downs.

Develop excellent communication skills from the beginning and learn that there should never be any secrets between the two of you. If they have done something wrong, they should be man or woman enough to come to your face and tell you what’s going on. Any relationship built on dishonestly is toxic and won’t last.

Girls tend to favor their dad while boys tend to latch on to their mother. These patterns are something observed throughout history. A daughter needs to have a healthy relationship with her father. Psychologists have now proven that it’s essential for the child to develop these relationships to form positive self-esteem.

Why is this relationship between a father and daughter so important? First, little girls all see daddy as their hero and rightfully so. He is the first male figure in her life that she depends on. A daughter develops a relationship with her parents early on as they are her entire world.

Traditionally throughout history, here what happened. Mothers played a pivotal role as the nurturing and caring one. However, a father’s role was just as important. He made sure his daughter was safe and was eager to protect her. These vital roles were based on historical perceptions. Of course, modern parents can cross over into the other position or serve as both.

It’s essential for a child to feel a bond with both parents. However, psychologists have found that when the father-daughter relationship struggles early on, it can cause many emotional challenges. Additionally, a skewed view of dad can cause problems with dating and even marrying a man.

The Formative Years

The father-daughter relationship develops around two years of age. Since the formative years are defined as ages 2-4, this male role needs to be in her life. The bond that develops in these years will last a lifetime.

When a child is going through their formative years, they need both the female and male role. The toddler is asking internal questions such as:

• Am I okay to be me?
• What can I explore today?
• Will mommy or daddy play with me?
• Who will feed me?

They learn quickly which parent will do specific roles in their care. For instance, if mom feeds the child, then when they are hungry, they will go to mom. However, if mom isn’t around, then they learn dad is a backup. Additionally, they learn the roles that dad plays in their life.

Forming a Sense of Independence

As your child is growing and learning to be more self-sufficient, they use repetition. It’s how they form a sense of independence. They find comfort in knowing that daddy will fix their doll’s arm or take care of their bumps or scrapes.

Safety and security are a significant factor to a young child, especially as they’re learning to walk and talk. Many changes are going on in their lives, and they need the united force of their parents to make them feel safe.

Should dad be demanding with the child and push them too far, it can cause them to doubt their new skills. Both parents must allow a child to use the repetitive nature that comes along during the formative years as it’s essential for growth. Your child needs everything in place so they can master their environment.

Avoiding Self-Doubt

When a child has a skewed father-daughter relationship, it can cause self-doubt to occur. Doubt can cause a child to place limits on themselves as they grow. These kids usually make derogatory statements such as:

• I’ll never be good enough to try out for the school play.
• Everyone else is better than me.
• I can’t do that spelling bee because I am afraid I will mess up.

The self-doubt that starts in the formative years either from a poor father-daughter relationship or other outlying factors can turn into low self-esteem. When children make such comments as listed above, some say that they are shy or afraid to explore things.

The real problem is that the child is making these statements hoping that someone will give them advice on the matter. A daughter desperately longs for the approval of her parents, and she doesn’t feel free to try new things without a gentle nudge in the right direction. A child uses the rules they’ve learned early on to set the patterns for life.

If a father doesn’t allow children to explore, experiment, and be adventurous, they won’t be curious or welcome experimentation in life.

Negative Patterns Follow Throughout Life

When a parent sees an issue with the child’s esteem, they need to correct the dynamics. If these issues are allowed to flourish, they will be a constant problem well into adulthood. The father-daughter bond is essential, but any negative patterns from childhood must be corrected to change their self-doubting nature.

A self-doubting child turns into an adult who is afraid to go for a job promotion as they are fearful; they can’t keep up with the work. Many are so scared to try anything new or move too far away from their homestead. Girls that don’t have a good father-daughter dynamic may be scared to do anything even in adulthood that might be a little risky.

A father must be encouraging his daughter. They should motivate them to try new things and be adventurous, and they should be on the sidelines, cheering them on in life. Remember, they are going to make errors, but you just need to be there to pick up the pieces. Mistakes are a part of life and how you learn.

Both mothers and fathers need to be supportive of their children as they grow and make blunders. When required, offer advice, but make sure you are a support system and a shoulder to cry on.

Setting The Stage for a Happy Life

Children are a product of their environment. Have you ever heard the statement, “She has daddy issues?” While it’s natural for a girl to want to marry someone like her dad, if the father-daughter dynamic was toxic, it causes problems.

On the flip side, a boy who never had a mother be there for him can have issues in trusting women in life. The most significant gift that a dad can give to their daughter is to teach them respect. Respect is not something that comes freely as it must be earned.

You can show your daughter the true meaning of respect by treating her mother and other siblings well. Being that constant positive in her life sets the stage for how her husband and sons treat her in the future. She will know what to expect and won’t settle for anything less.

Mothers and fathers can both put the wheels in motion for healthy patterns. Girls tend to gravitate to what is familiar to them. It doesn’t matter if her father was a positive or negative force in her life; she will look towards comfortable things.

Being a father is one of the biggest job titles that come with the most significant rewards, so dads have a lot of pressure not to mess up.

Promoting Father-Daughter Bonding

Some dads have a hard time relating to their daughter, as it’s easier to relate to males. However, it would help if you found a way to bridge the divide and do things that your daughter likes to do. For instance, take her to a movie and out to ice cream.

No one is going to refuse a good flick and a sweet treat. Most cities have those daddy-daughter dances around Valentine’s day. While it may be out of your comfort zone, you must go for the sake of your daughter. The memories you will make with her will be priceless.

Try building something together, and you may find that your little girl has a liking to power tools. You can take a cooking class and then use your skills to create dinner for the family. Many girls love to shoot hoops or take a drive in the evening with the music blasting.

When you think about it, you and your daughter would like to do tons of things together. It doesn’t matter what you do, just make sure you let her be a part of the selection process, so you validate her opinions.

Final Thoughts on the Father Daughter Relationships and Developing Healthy Esteem

Thankfully, it’s never too late for you to work on your relationship with your daughter. Even if you weren’t there for her in her formative years because of divorce or work, you could be there for her now. Did you know that women who grow up and have positive relationships with their parents are generally more confident and well-rounded in life?

Women with confidence choose better partners, have emotionally healthy ways to deal with stress and drama, and often have well-balanced relationships with both males and females. The joy of raising a good child is one of the most significant accomplishments you can have in life.

It’s imperative to work on your father-daughter relationship as it means everything to raising well-adjusted girls that don’t have “daddy issues.”

Sometimes it’s difficult to tell if someone is a secret admirer or if they’re just an amicable person. It would be embarrassing to assume someone is interested in you only to find out that’s how they treat everybody. But usually, there are telltale signs that someone has a crush on you. Actually, they’re relatively predictable signs.

15 signs that you have a not so secret admirer

Unclear on whether someone is casually glancing or crushing on you? Here is how you can tell.

1. Constantly looking at you

The person who admires you will watch you every time you walk into the room. They may smile or try to catch your eye. They’ll attempt to say hello as you walk by their desk. During the day, when you look up from your computer, you’ll notice they’re staring at you.

They may smile again or nod their head. It’s all a ploy to get your attention. They want but don’t want you to realize they’re interested. It’s the beginning of a cat-and-mouse game that not so secret admirers like to play.

2. Body language

Your secret admirer may act nervous around you, fumbling with papers, or repeatedly dropping their cellphone when they’re talking to you. Or they may show their nervousness around you by non-stop talking.  Secret admirers aren’t always good at hiding their adoration and love. To impress you, they may become a bundle of nerves resulting in clumsiness or over talkativeness.

It’s painful to watch a poor guy bumble his way through a conversation. Some guys try to impress by acting super cool and funny. This may be effective to get your interest and make you laugh. This makes a secret admirer happy because they feel you noticed them.

3. Notes on your desk

You may find funny little notes on your desk with funny sayings or pictures referring to things you’ve said or things that happened in the office. Or you may find a little note stuck to your car windshield at the end of the workday. These notes may look like a second grader wrote them or typed officially. The notes may be funny or silly, cute, or sweet, anything to get your attention.

The notes probably won’t contain hearts unless your secret admirer is getting bold. But if it’s around Valentine’s Day, you may receive a card with hearts and references to being in love with you. It’s best to enjoy the attention, but not make any judgments yet until you’re sure you know who your admirer. You may not have to wait long; Valentine’s Day has a way of pushing a secret admirer into action.

4. Little gifts

When you have a secret admirer, little gifts may suddenly show up on your desk or at your front door. You may receive your favorite hot drink, your favorite kombucha drink, or a bouquet. Your co-workers will be curious. They may smile and roll their eyes when you tell them you don’t know who sent these gifts. It’s best to downplay the whole thing and tell everyone your mom is going over the top for your birthday this year…months ahead of time.

5. Include you in group activities

Your secret admirer will invite you for a drink with a big group of co-workers at a nearby bar. They may ask you to join the office baseball team or a bowling team. They’ll go out of their way to include you in office or church activities. They want to be with you, but so they include you in lots of group activities. This way, they can still admire you without revealing their fondness for you.

6. Smiling at you all the time.

Secret admirers are often compared to a lovesick puppy. They’ll have an enormous smile plastered across their face. They’ll smile at you and at everything you say. They are over the top infatuated with you, and it shows on their face. It may be challenging to know if you’re the reason for the smile, but a good chance their smile will grow more glowing when you’re around. If you talk to them, their smile will be radiant, and you may wonder if their face will break from all the stretching from their big smile.

7. Telling you about themselves

Admirers like to tell you important things about themselves. They may tell you about their dog or their family or what they like about eating vegan. They will watch your reaction as they tell you about themselves, hoping you’ll agree or want to know more.

They’re looking for acceptance and an affirmation that you are interested in them. They may tell you about their great aunt’s fascinating shark tooth collection or how they got to shake hands with Elon Musk. It should dawn on you by now that this person is interested in you.

It’s up to you to show interest back or not. If you’re not interested in them, be firm, but gentle in letting them know you’re not interested in their aunts or their famous handshakes. If you don’t tell them now, it will make the conversation more difficult later on.

8. They seem to be where ever you go.

Your not so secret admirer will suddenly show up at your local grocery store, even though you’ve never seen them at this store before.

They’ll pretend to run into you and mention they shop for organic foods. Or you’ll stop by your favorite coffee shop on Saturday morning, and there is your secret admirer sitting at an outside table. He’ll smile and wave as if he’s surprised to see you then ask you nonchalantly what you’re doing over the weekend.

You may feel this person is stalking you, so trust your gut.  If you feel unsafe, stop going to your regular stores for a bit. Alert your friends and family members about this person and ask them not to give out your information to anyone. If things get worse, call the police or go stay with friends for a few weeks to figure out what to do.

But if this person isn’t stalking you, but just a sweet guy who’s afraid to come forward to ask you out, maybe you should take the first step and ask him to have coffee with you.

9. They remember things you said

A secret admirer remembers everything you say. They’ll ask you how your dog is doing after her surgery because they heard you mention your dog was having surgery at lunch with your co-workers the day before yesterday. They are into details about you and your life. If you don’t like it, don’t talk about personal things in a group setting and tell your friends not to tell the admirer stuff about you. Friends like to arrange romantic relationships, so tell your friends to back off and give you some space.

10. They follow you on social media.

Not only will your secret admirer follow you on all your social media sites, but they will like everything you post. They’ll be the first ones to like your posts, adding cute smiley faces or thumbs up. They’ll agree with you or add a few thoughts hoping to get a conversation going with you on the internet. They just can’t help themselves.

11. They’ll buy you a drink when a big group of you go out for lunch.

If you’re out with a group of co-workers or friends, your admirer will secretly buy you a drink. He’ll tell the server to deliver it to you. It’s fun for him to watch your reaction when the server hands you a free drink. Quickly look around to see who’s watching you. If someone catches your eyes and smiles, good chance, he’s your secret admirer.

12.  They’ll agree with everything you say

It’s no secret that your admirer wants a relationship with you. He wants you to know he finds you attractive. In conversations, he will agree with everything you say. He’ll be your biggest cheerleader at work or church, commending your intelligence and ability to solve problems. It may be reasonably obvious he’s your secret admirer since he’s the guy jumping up and down every time you say something. Of course, your friends will ask what’s going on, but you can pretend not to know until you decide if you are as interested in this guy as he seems to be in you.

13. They’ll tease you

Sometimes the easiest way to know someone likes you is to see if they tease you. Teasing is a roundabout way of flirting. It’s showing interest playfully without coming out and saying it. If one guy is teasing you all the time, maybe he’s too shy to ask you out. Go along with it and tease him back if you’re interested.

14. Drawing you into conversations

Secret admirers aren’t always discreet. Your secret admirer will suddenly pull you into conversations at work to get your opinion or ideas on things. They will love your ideas and suggest to the group to use your ideas. They’ll stop by your desk to ask you a project related question. You’ll suddenly be their go-to person on work issues, tech issues, or if they want to gossip about the boss.

Your other co-workers may roll their eyes and tell you this person has a crush on you. It’s probably worth listening to your co-workers’ observations since they’re watching the whole thing unfold. You could corner your secret admirer and ask them why they’re suddenly interested in you. Or, you could wait for one more sign that they’re a secret admirer.

15. Asking you about yourself

Your secret admirer will be immensely curious about you. They’ll pepper you with questions until you’re exhausted answering them. They ask you things along these lines:

• Where you grew up
• Where you went to college
• Your best job growing up
• Your favorite music
• What movies you love
• Your favorite restaurant
• Your favorite coffee shop

Final Thoughts on Understanding Your Not So Secret Admirer

If you haven’t figured out who your secret admirer is when they ask you these questions, it should be the most significant sign that this is the person. Only a secret admirer or your mother shows this amount of interest in you.

The best thing to do at this point is to ask the person why they’re so interested in you. Hopefully, they’ll admit they’re fascinated with you and want a relationship.  If the feeling is mutual, you can invite them out for dinner to your favorite restaurant since they know already know what it is.

There’s something beautiful about having a partner that you’ve committed to for life. You get to spend every waking morning together and go to bed beside them at night. All that togetherness can be a bit too much for some people–sometimes ever irritating.

The cares of life can weigh heavily on your relationship, and there are times when your partner is getting on your nerves. It may not be about his or her actions. But it has everything to do with what’s going on in your life. How can you stay positive when your partner is irritating you to the point of an explosion?

Therapists work with people every day who have relationship problems. The tiniest of infractions can fester, causing arguments that last for days. Many people break-up and move on, and they don’t know what the problem was in the first place.

If your partner is getting on your nerves, you need to learn positivity in dealing with these situations. Here are some tips to help you keep from going over the edge.

•Realize Why They’re Irritating You

You’re human, so it’s only reasonable to shift the blame from one person to another. For instance, if a coworker made you upset at work today, then you may come home and take it out on your partner. Sometimes, even their heavy breathing can make you want to scream.

You must realize where your frustration is coming from, and never take it out on anyone else. Anger is the most natural emotion to show, and it’s so easy to show it to the wrong person.

•Do Not Resort to Childish Games

When someone is on your last nerve, it’s easy to want to call names, yell, or even not speak to them at all. Instead, why not effectively communicate the issue. If your partner leaves his or her dirty clothes on the floor beside the hamper rather than inside it, you can simply tell them how this is bothering you.

Never avoid speaking to them, leave angry, or make the situation worse. Act like an adult and get to the crux of the matter. Many people don’t even realize why they are getting on their partner’s nerves until the other person says something about it.

•Set Aside Time to Discuss Frustrations

One of the reasons why so many couples don’t make it is because they don’t have a good communication line. If your partner has little habits that drive you mad, you need to have an open dialogue about it. You should set aside a time each evening to talk.

Now, this time should not be reserved to point out all the wrong things that they’re doing, but it should be a time to talk about anything and everything. You need to tell them about work frustrations, problems with the kids, and the things that you both can improve on as a couple.

However, you mustn’t nitpick your partner. You don’t want to send them a text at work and tell them about the cap being off the toothpaste once again. Save all these little frustrations for discussion time. You can quickly drive them out of the door if you are constantly badgering them.

If you don’t have an active line of communication, don’t be surprised if your relationship doesn’t make it. Most conflicts can be resolved with effective communication. It helps to keep positivity in the union.

•Take Care of You

If your partner is annoying you, it might be because you haven’t had time to take care of yourself. You may tend to make mountains out of molehills when all you do is work. If you’re not getting enough sleep, meeting your deadlines, and feel like life is passing you by, then it’s easy to be aggravated by the smallest things.

Schedule a massage or a night out with your friends. With some rest and relaxation, you will be amazed at how much better you feel. The things that seem to bother you when you’re stressed out will probably be lessened when you are in a better place.

•Address an Underlying Mental Health Issue

Some things can be irritating to you because you have an underlying anxiety disorder. Did you know that anxiety can make you moody, irritable, grouchy, and a bear to be around? If you feel that you’re on edge often, it’s worth seeing a therapist.

You may have an anxiety issue that is causing you to be irritated by everything your partner does. In the spirit of positivity, you want to make sure their irritating ways aren’t only bothering you. For instance, do they drive you mad when they are crunching on potato chips or eating popcorn?

Misophonia is an anxiety-based condition that is aggravated by noise. So that chomping isn’t them being annoying, it’s your disorder kicking into overdrive. You can learn effective ways to manage this condition.

• Take a Walk

If your partner is doing something irritating, like turning the television up too loud, you may need to remove yourself from the room. The reason they may have the TV volume up so high is that they cannot hear it. While they may need hearing aids, it’s not something that you can take care of right now.

The best thing to do in this situation is to remove yourself. Go outside, take a walk, or sit on the porch and talk to one of your friends. When you take yourself away from the noise and chaos, then you will be able to refocus.

It’s not easy living with another person, and you will find that some days are worse than others. If they aren’t trying to annoy you, then just take a break. You will feel refreshed when you come back.

•Address Some Issues in the Moment

While you don’t want to be a nag, some things need to be addressed at the moment. For instance, if your partner is wearing shoes through the house, explain why this bothers you. There’s no need to wait for a specific time to talk when it’s something that you can address right now.

Rather than telling them all the reasons you’re upset, you can use science to back you up. Saying something like, “Did you know that when you wear shoes in the house, you are dragging in fecal matter and urine from dogs, not to mention all the other toxins on the ground?” You’re taking the focus off you and telling them a scientifically based reason why wearing your shoes in the house is terrible.

Plus, it’s incredibly irritating to have to clean up mud and shoe marks from the floors but blame it on science for the sense of positivity.

• Get Professional Help

Just because you’re in love with someone doesn’t mean that you will always like them. There may be times when you downright can’t stand them. If your union is worth salvaging from their irritating habits and the constant bickering, you need to see a therapist.

Therapists have a way to get to the crux of the matter and help you find effective methods for conflict resolution. Some issues are damaging to the relationship if they’re not dealt with immediately. Other situations boil and fester and put permanent wedges between people that are not repairable.

Therapy isn’t something that can fix everything, and it doesn’t work overnight. You both must commit to finding positive ways to deal with the irritations that are in your relationship.

• Learn Meditation

Meditation is a widely accepted Eastern treatment for what ails you. It helps to put the mind and body in perfect alignment as you learn to control your breathing. Did you know that you can learn simple forms of Meditation to stop a panic attack?

If you’re new to this art form, then using guided audio from the internet is easiest. However, Tibetan singing bowls are becoming increasingly popular in this country too. These bowls have a harmonious sound that brings an immediate focus and calm to your body.

Meditation helps you to rid negative energies that attach themselves to you during the day. For instance, you may have argued with a person at work, and all that negative drama is plaguing your mind when you get home. You can wash away the effects of that by simply meditating for a few minutes.

Final Thoughts on Overcoming the Irritating Parts of Your Relationship

There is no relationship without conflict and irritants. However, you must learn how to deal with these times positively for your union to last. When you look at people who’ve been married for 20 years or more, they have mastered the art of conflict resolution with their partner.