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Reality Check: How many women in top UK film jobs?

Allegations of sexual offences against Harvey Weinstein, the award-winning American film producer, have ignited a discussion about who has power in the film industry. Weinstein denies any sexual assaults.

In an interview with the BBC's Today programme, Daisy Lewis, an actress and director, said she hoped the Weinstein scandal would prompt a shift in the industry so that more women reached senior roles "writing and directing and creating work and employing other women so that this situation doesn't really happen".

Ms Lewis's remarks prompted Reality Check to dig into the numbers behind film's most sought-after jobs.

The British film industry, which last year employed about 25,000 people as cast and crew, is one dominated by men, based on research by the British Film Institute (BFI).

In 2016 fewer than one-third of producer credits in British films went to women and even fewer credits went to writers (17%) and directors (13%).

Under 10% of stunt co-ordinators, music composers, sound recordists and directors of photography were female.

In only two key roles – casting director and costume designer – were more women employed than men.

The proportion of women has increased over the years, with the percentage of crew members rising from 3% in 1913 to 34% in 2017. But for decades the most influential posts have overwhelmingly gone to men. It wasn't until 2010 that a woman, Kathryn Bigelow, won the Bafta for best direction.

Click to see content: BFI_gender_roles Click to see content: BFI_gender_directors

Dr Vicky Ball, a lecturer in cinema and television history at De Montfort University in Leicester, said that historically some jobs, such as technical work in the film industry, went to men and some, such as costume design, went to women.

"It's always good to have a diversity of voices, otherwise whose values are being represented?"

Directors UK, which commissioned its own study on the film industry in 2016, found that women were struggling to climb the ladder. It found a perception in the film industry that women were less likely to hold senior jobs than their male counterparts unless they worked in an area, such as make-up, which had traditionally been seen as a role undertaken mainly by women.

Daisy Lewis also told the BBC that fewer parts for women on-screen made them vulnerable because speaking up "means they don't get employed". For all the decorated and adored British actresses, from Judi Dench to Kate Winslet, the industry as a whole shows that the proportion of women cast in films in 2017 is the same as it was in 1911 (roughly one-third), according to the BFI data.

Of the top-grossing films in the US in 2015, male characters appeared on screen twice as much as female characters and also spoke twice as often, based on research by the Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media.

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Source – bbc.com

Source – bbc.com

Can we teach robots ethics?

We are not used to the idea of machines making ethical decisions, but the day when they will routinely do this – by themselves – is fast approaching. So how, asks the BBC's David Edmonds, will we teach them to do the right thing?

The car arrives at your home bang on schedule at 8am to take you to work. You climb into the back seat and remove your electronic reading device from your briefcase to scan the news. There has never been trouble on the journey before: there's usually little congestion. But today something unusual and terrible occurs: two children, wrestling playfully on a grassy bank, roll on to the road in front of you. There's no time to brake. But if the car skidded to the left it would hit an oncoming motorbike.

Neither outcome is good, but which is least bad?

The year is 2027, and there's something else you should know. The car has no driver.

I'm in the passenger seat and Dr Amy Rimmer is sitting behind the steering wheel.

Amy pushes a button on a screen, and, without her touching any more controls, the car drives us smoothly down a road, stopping at a traffic light, before signalling, turning a sharp left, navigating a roundabout and pulling gently into a lay-by.

The journey's nerve-jangling for about five minutes. After that, it already seems humdrum. Amy, a 29-year-old with a Cambridge University PhD, is the lead engineer on the Jaguar Land Rover autonomous car. She is responsible for what the car sensors see, and how the car then responds.

She says that this car, or something similar, will be on our roads in a decade.

Many technical issues still need to be overcome. But one obstacle for the driverless car – which may delay its appearance – is not merely mechanical, or electronic, but moral.

The dilemma prompted by the children who roll in front of the car is a variation on the famous (or notorious) "trolley problem" in philosophy. A train (or tram, or trolley) is hurtling down a track. It's out of control. The brakes have failed. But disaster lies ahead – five people are tied to the track. If you do nothing, they'll all be killed. But you can flick the points and redirect the train down a side-track – so saving the five. The bad news is that there's one man on that side-track and diverting the train will kill him. What should you do?

This question has been put to millions of people around the world. Most believe you should divert the train.

But now take another variation of the problem. A runaway train is hurtling towards five people. This time you are standing on a footbridge overlooking the track, next to a man with a very bulky rucksack. The only way to save the five is to push Rucksack Man to his death: the rucksack will block the path of the train. Once again it's a choice between one life and five, but most people believe that Rucksack Man should not be killed.

This puzzle has been around for decades, and still divides philosophers. Utilitarians, who believe that we should act so as to maximise happiness, or well-being, think our intuitions are wrong about Rucksack Man. Rucksack Man should be sacrificed: we should save the five lives.

Trolley-type dilemmas are wildly unrealistic. Nonetheless, in the future there may be a few occasions when the driverless car does have to make a choice – which way to swerve, who to harm, or who to risk harming? These questions raise many more. What kind of ethics should we programme into the car? How should we value the life of the driver compared to bystanders or passengers in other cars? Would you buy a car that was prepared to sacrifice its driver to spare the lives of pedestrians? If so, you're unusual.

Then there's the thorny matter of who's going to make these ethical decisions. Will the government decide how cars make choices? Or the manufacturer? Or will it be you, the consumer? Will you be able to walk into a showroom and select the car's ethics as you would its colour? "I'd like to purchase a Porsche utilitarian 'kill-one-to-save-five' convertible in blue please…"

Find out more

• Listen to Can We Teach Robots Ethics? on Analysis, on BBC Radio 4, at 20:30 on Monday 16 October – or catch up later on the BBC iPlayer
• Listen to The Inquiry on the BBC World Service – click here for transmission times or to listen online

Ron Arkin became interested in such questions when he attended a conference on robot ethics in 2004. He listened as one delegate was discussing the best bullet to kill people – fat and slow, or small and fast? Arkin felt he had to make a choice "whether or not to step up and take responsibility for the technology that we're creating". Since then, he's devoted his career to working on the ethics of autonomous weapons.

There have been calls for a ban on autonomous weapons, but Arkin takes the opposite view: if we can create weapons which make it less likely that civilians will be killed, we must do so. "I don't support war. But if we are foolish enough to continue killing ourselves – over God knows what – I believe the innocent in the battle space need to be better protected," he says.

Like driverless cars, autonomous weapons are not science fiction. There are already weapons that operate without being fully controlled by humans. Missiles exist which can change course if they are confronted by an enemy counter-attack, for example. Arkin's approach is sometimes called "top-down". That is, he thinks we can programme robots with something akin to the Geneva Convention war rules – prohibiting, for example, the deliberate killing of civilians. Even this is a horrendously complex challenge: the robot will have to distinguish between the enemy combatant wielding a knife to kill, and the surgeon holding a knife he's using to save the injured.

An alternative way to approach these problems involves what is known as "machine learning".

Susan Anderson is a philosopher, Michael Anderson a computer scientist. As well as being married, they're professional collaborators. The best way to teach a robot ethics, they believe, is to first programme in certain principles ("avoid suffering", "promote happiness"), and then have the machine learn from particular scenarios how to apply the principles to new situations.

Take carebots – robots designed to assist the sick and elderly, by bringing food or a book, or by turning on the lights or the TV. The carebot industry is expected to burgeon in the next decade. Like autonomous weapons and driverless cars, carebots will have choices to make. Suppose a carebot is faced with a patient who refuses to take his or her medication. That might be all right for a few hours, and the patient's autonomy is a value we would want to respect. But there will come a time when help needs to be sought, because the patient's life may be in danger.

After processing a series of dilemmas by applying its initial principles, the Andersons believe that the robot would become clearer about how it should act. Humans could even learn from it. "I feel it would make more ethically correct decisions than a typical human," says Susan. Neither Anderson is fazed by the prospect of being cared for by a carebot. "Much rather a robot than the embarrassment of being changed by a human," says Michael.

However machine learning throws up problems of its own. One is that the machine may learn the wrong lessons. To give a related example, machines that learn language from mimicking humans have been shown to import various biases. Male and female names have different associations. The machine may come to believe that a John or Fred is more suitable to be a scientist than a Joanna or Fiona. We would need to be alert to these biases, and to try to combat them.

A yet more fundamental challenge is that if the machine evolves through a learning process we may be unable to predict how it will behave in the future; we may not even understand how it reaches its decisions. This is an unsettling possibility, especially if robots are making crucial choices about our lives. A partial solution might be to insist that if things do go wrong, we have a way to audit the code – a way of scrutinising what's happened. Since it would be both silly and unsatisfactory to hold the robot responsible for an action (what's the point of punishing a robot?), a further judgement would have to be made about who was morally and legally culpable for a robot's bad actions.

One big advantage of robots is that they will behave consistently. They will operate in the same way in similar situations. The autonomous weapon won't make bad choices because it is angry. The autonomous car won't get drunk, or tired, it won't shout at the kids on the back seat. Around the world, more than a million people are killed in car accidents each year – most by human error. Reducing those numbers is a big prize.

Quite how much we should value consistency is an interesting issue, though. If robot judges provide consistent sentences for convicted criminals, this seems to be a powerful reason to delegate the sentencing role. But would nothing be lost in removing the human contact between judge and accused? Prof John Tasioulas at King's College London believes there is value in messy human relations. "Do we really want a system of sentencing that mechanically churns out a uniform answer in response to the agonising conflict of values often involved? Something of real significance is lost when we eliminate the personal integrity and responsibility of a human decision-maker," he argues.

Amy Rimmer is excited about the prospect of the driverless car. It's not just the lives saved. The car will reduce congestion and emissions and will be "one of the few things you will be able to buy that will give you time". What would it do in our trolley conundrum? Crash into two kids, or veer in front of an oncoming motorbike? Jaguar Land Rover hasn't yet considered such questions but Amy is not convinced that matters: "I don't have to answer that question to pass a driving test, and I'm allowed to drive. So why would we dictate that the car has to have an answer to these unlikely scenarios before we're allow to get the benefits from it?"

That's an excellent question. If driverless cars save life overall why not allow them on to the road before we resolve what they should do in very rare circumstances? Ultimately, though, we'd better hope that our machines can be ethically programmed – because, like it or not, in the future more and more decisions that are currently taken by humans will be delegated to robots.

There are certainly reasons to worry. We may not fully understand why a robot has made a particular decision. And we need to ensure that the robot does not absorb and compound our prejudices. But there's also a potential upside. The robot may turn out to be better at some ethical decisions than we are. It may even make us better people.

Illustrations are From Would You Kill The Fat Man? By David Edmonds. Princeton University Press, 2014

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Source – bbc.com

“He who falls in love with himself will have no rivals.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is defined by WebMD as:

“…a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others.”

Narcissism is a mysterious condition.

First, mental health experts don’t know what causes NPD. Narcissism is similar to psychopathy and sociopathy in this way. While family history and advanced brain imaging technologies (e.g., PET) may clue us in, psychotherapists are the only individuals who can diagnose the disorder.

Second, many people – including some mental health experts – are of mixed opinion whether or not people diagnosed (or possibly, misdiagnosed) with NPD are deserving of sympathy. You’ll see why in the next section.

The Madoff Case

Consider Bernie Madoff as an example. Madoff pleaded guilty to 11 federal crimes for running a massive Ponzi scheme estimated at $65 billion.

He was given a 150-year sentence.

Obviously, narcissistic and sociopathic traits – which Madoff almost certainly possessed – aren’t acceptable excuses in a court of law.

While overseeing the largest financial fraud in U.S. history, Madoff sat on the boards of organizations influencing policies for detecting securities fraud.

On the other hand, Madoff was a noted philanthropist, donating millions to various charitable organizations.

“He was thought of as a great philanthropist, a pillar of the community, the chairman of Nasdaq – all of that stuff,” said a friend of his.

Does it matter why?

As Bernie Madoff’s “case file” confirms, narcissists and sociopaths don’t have a rhyme or reason behind why they do such immoral things; or why they act contradictory much of the time.

Does it really matter why?

Not to the victims of Madoff; many of whom lost their life savings. Not to the millions of countless nameless faces whose lives have been upended by a liar and manipulator.

One thing that most people will agree on is that self-protection is paramount. Narcissists and sociopaths can – and will – inflict harm, and most won’t show any remorse.

What goes on inside the brain of a narcissist?

Let’s take a look at 15 projections from the mind of a narcissist

1. “How can I get attention?”

Psychologists have coined two terms that explain a narcissist’s constant need for attention: “emotional supply” and “narcissistic supply.”

Narcissists are always on the lookout for where they can temporarily fill their unquenchable ego.

2. “I don’t care.”

Indeed. In fact, narcissists don’t care about anything except themselves. Most of us cannot fathom the intentional manipulation and hurting of others.

Most of us.

3. “I’m right.”

Let’s say you’re a prosecutor. You’ve built an “open and shut” case against someone, and the evidence leaves no doubt that the defendant is guilty. Now imagine the judge takes one look at your evidence and throws it out.

The narcissist is the judge.

4. “I have no self-esteem.”

Most experts believe that narcissists have developed a coping mechanism – a rewiring of the brain – that permits them to exhibit confidence despite a deep-rooted feeling of failure.

In reality, the emperor has no clothes.

5. “I’m entitled.”

When it comes to wanting something, a narcissist will act like a 3-year old would if you took his choo-choo. They have no concept of merit; which helps explain why they’re always looking for the easy way out.

6. “How dare you?”

Underneath their seemingly cool appearance, narcissists have a very delicate personality. Their deeply-held feelings of inadequacy and insecurity will surface when criticized.

7. “What an idiot.”

One of a narcissist’s most prominent delusions is the strange belief that they’re smarter than everyone else. It doesn’t hurt when you deny or flat-out disbelieve any evidence to the contrary.

8. “I need something.”

If there’s one thing to pity about a narcissist’s state of mind, it’s this: nothing makes them happy. Money, power, fame, and possessions do nothing. Where ordinary people look to their loved ones for real happiness, narcissists are unable to do so.

9. “You’ve made an enemy.”

The narcissistic are chiefly passive-aggressive people. Unless they’re outraged, or you happen to be close to them, they won’t make their anger known. Instead, they’ll appease their quelling anger by promising payback.

10. “Onto the next one…”

Question: how can someone honestly commit to another when they only care about themselves? Answer: they can’t. Dating a narcissist always seems to follow a predictable path: they meet someone who caters to their constant emotional needs; initial feelings of excitement subside, and they leave.

11. “Everyone is looking at me!”

Narcissists love being the center of attention. In fact, being at the COA may be one of the only things they love. Until that attention fades, of course.

After “their” spotlight is redirected elsewhere, the narcissist immediately begins thinking about what to do next to get it back.

12. “What are they complaining about?”

Joe Navarro, a clinical psychologist, and author of Dangerous Personalities, says:

“I have talked to scores of individuals who have been victimized by the narcissistic personality…I heard the same (thing): Narcissists see themselves as being so special that no one else matters. Over time, the behavior (will) cast a wide debris of suffering.”

13. “I’m not apologizing.”

Good luck trying to get an apology from a narcissist. The only way that’s going to happen is if they see some pot of gold at the end of their tilted rainbow.

14. “I’ll forgive nothing.”

Narcissists do not forget or forgive even the smallest of “infractions.” Don’t fret, dear reader, the odds are that you did nothing wrong in the first place. Just be wary of their calculated behavior, especially when feeling “wronged.”

15. “I think I found someone I like!”

Impossible, right? Well, not if it’s a fellow narcissist. As it turns out, narcissists aren’t altogether rare – accounting for about 6 percent of the U.S. population.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

Sources:
http://awarenessact.com/19-thoughts-that-reveal-how-a-narcissist-really-thinks/
http://content.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1869123,00.html
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/basics/definition/con-20025568
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/13/nyregion/13madoff.html
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/mona-ackerman/the-psychology-behind-ber_b_151966.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/spycatcher/201709/the-narcissistic-personality-how-they-think

The post 15 Inner Thoughts of A Narcissist appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.

Source – powerofpositivity.com

“The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.” – Brian Tracy

Falling in love is an exciting experience. When you’re with someone that you love, your whole outlook on life can become more positive and wonderful the longer that you’re together.

Couple’s expert and author Stuart Fensterheim says that unconditional love is “so freeing and transformative because it lets you stop trying to change or control your partner. You’re free to work on yourself and find even better ways to live together in joy and love.”

Every once in a while, we can ask ourselves how we know if our partners love us unconditionally. Even if feels like everything’s going well, curiosity can get the better of us. If you want to make sure that your partner really does love you unconditionally, there are plenty of signs to look for. When you see them in your partner’s behavior, you’ll know that they’re in it for the long haul.

Here Are 7 Signs Your Partner Loves You Unconditionally

1. They want to grow old with you

When you make jokes about growing old together and chasing kids off your lawn, they have a certain look in their eye. It’s almost as if they can see themselves growing old together with you. Not only that, but they’re excited about it.

But how do you know they mean it?

Dating coach Patrick Banks says, “Do you remember that little tingle you felt in your stomach the first time you saw your significant other? The great thing about being in a relationship that’s meant to last is that this feeling only gets stronger over time. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been together for two years or twenty, when you’re with the person you’re meant to grow old with, you want them as badly each day as you did on the first.”

If you can see yourself growing old together with your partner too, it’s probably a sign that their love for you is unconditional and you feel safe and complete with them enough to start a life together.

2. You tell them your secrets

Telling them your secrets means that you trust them, which means that they have been trustworthy enough for you to do so. When you tell them all of your secrets, or the things you’ve been too embarrassed to tell anyone else, they don’t look at you with shock or disgust. They accept you in all that you are, embarrassing secrets included. Not only that, but they don’t even think to tell anyone, even their best friends.

3. They’re proud of you, and they tell you

No matter what your accomplishments are, big or small, they make sure to let you know that they’re proud of everything that you’ve accomplished. Even if you do something as small as clean the living room, or something as big as getting a promotion at work.

Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., professor at Oakland University and author says, “When people feel recognized as special and appreciated, they’re happier in that relationship and more motivated to make the relationship better and stronger.”

Whatever you do is something amazing to them, and they’re always ready and willing to tell you how proud they are of you for all of your successes – and even the things that you tried your best at, and failed.

4. You disagree, but always make up

All couples have arguments or disagreements. That’s not something anyone can avoid. But when the both of you disagree, you don’t let it fester into resentments. They are always willing to discuss and communicate and come to a compromise or the end of an argument. You never have to worry about an argument causing contention in the relationship, because you know that in the end you’re going to make up.

5. They’re always chivalrous

Even if the two of you have been together for twenty years, when your partner loves you unconditionally, they’re always going to go out of their way to make sure that you’re comfortable and happy. They’ll still pull your chair out for you, or get the door. They’ll always make sure to help you unload the groceries or simply get up to get you a glass of water when you’re thirsty.

Licensed social worker, certified life coach, and author David Schroeder, LMSW, CPC points out that, “Love is more than a feeling or emotion, it is a conscious action and choice to aid the well-being of another. It’s the willingness to give love, affection, and admiration with openness, acceptance, and appreciation.”

Unconditional love is making sure that you’re happy and healthy.

6. They’re protective of you

This doesn’t mean that they’re going to be jealous if you go out with friends. Rather, they’re always going to want to make sure that you’re safe. They’ll go out of their way to make sure that you have a ride home if you go out, or make sure that you can catch a ride home if they can’t. That protective streak will never go away, either. If your partner loves you unconditionally, they’re always going to want to make sure that you’re safe and sound, no matter what.

7. They’re emotionally vulnerable in front of you

A lot of people have a hard time opening up emotionally. Even if that is the case, your partner will have no problem opening up to you and showing that emotional vulnerability.

“Showing unconditional love means being vulnerable, authentic and honest. Trusting each other enough to show all of yourself to your partner. To be their safe haven, the one person in all the world that they can be raw with, to invest all of their trust and hope in,” adds Fensterheim.

They’re going to tell you their hopes, dreams, fears and secrets – and each time you’ll know that they love and trust you more than anyone else.

Final thoughts

Being in love is a wonderful experience, and when your partner loves you unconditionally, it’s easier to let go and let yourself be more open and vulnerable than ever before.

“Unconditional love is not an unhealthy codependent relationship where one person compromises everything to please the other. You both compromise and treat each other with kindness. Showing love means you’re in this together no matter what. You are the other person’s champion in life,” says Fensterheim.

If you see the signs in your partner and yourself, congratulations! You’re in a relationship that will surely stand the tests of time, and all the stress and curveballs that life has to throw at you.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

References:
http://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/2017/05/marriage-counseling-unconditional-love-partner/
http://www.lifehack.org/317381/10-signs-youre-dating-someone-who-gonna-grow-old-with-you
https://greatist.com/play/best-relationship-advice
http://www.yourtango.com/experts/david-schroeder/5-signs-unconditional-love-tell-you-for-real

The post 7 Signs Your Partner Loves You Unconditionally appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.

Source – powerofpositivity.com

“In finding love, I think it’s important to be patient. In being in a relationship, I think it’s important to be honest, to communicate, to respect and trust, and to strive to give more than you take.” – Kina Grannis

Many people wonder and worry about their relationship. They may find that they’re comparing their relationships to other peoples’, or to past relationships of their own. Questioning how strong one’s relationship is can be a common experience for a lot of people, especially if the relationship is fairly new.

Good, lasting relationships all have similar qualities that make them unbreakable, no matter what life throws at them. Recognizing what your relationship has or lacks can help you make the changes that you need so that your relationship stays strong, healthy, and long lasting.

Here Are 10 Important Qualities For A Relationship To Succeed

1. Honesty and trust

Being truthful and honest is “an essential foundation on which to build a relationship,” says clinical psychologist and author Lisa Firestone Ph.D. Your significant other shouldn’t be hiding anything from you, unless they’ve specifically discussed why they don’t want to talk about something. When your partner is honest, you trust them to be truthful with you. Your partner should feel the same. When there’s no suspicion in a relationship, it’s hard to break apart.

2. Ready for the relationship

Both partners need to understand how an adult relationship works. If one partner isn’t ready for a mature relationship, that probably means that the relationship will be rocky. One the other hand, a strong and healthy relationship will demonstrate readiness by both partners. While we all have baggage, both partners should be working through that baggage so it doesn’t drag down the relationship.

3. Be ready to compromise

Partners who are able to talk through disagreements or issues while reaching a compromise will have a healthier and happier relationship than couples who are constantly fighting. If one partner is always giving while the other is always taking, it can cause imbalance in the relationship. Partners who know how to compromise will have a relationship that’s as unbreakable as they come.

As licensed couples’ counselor Aniesa M. Schneberger says, “Do you want to be right or do you want to be alone? Being ‘right’ all the time isn’t always the best for your relationship. Remember compromise is key to success.”

4. Self-awareness

Both partners need to have a sense of self, and to be self-aware of their desires, needs, goals and wants. In some relationships, one partner focuses on the other while completely neglecting what they want out of life. That will only breed resentment.

Relationship expert and co-creator of Inner Bonding Margaret Paul, Ph.D., says, “There is one major cause of relationship problems: self-abandonment… When you decide to learn to love yourself rather than continue to abandon yourself, you will discover how to create a loving relationship with your partner.“

Therefore, a strong relationship involves self-aware people who are able to support one another in their life goals and dreams without giving up their own.

5. Good self-esteem

If one or both partners have low self-esteem, they may rely too heavily on their partner to meet needs that they need to be meeting themselves. Or, one partner may allow the other to control or dominate their life in ways they really don’t want.

Patty Blue Hayes, life coach and author of Wine, Sex And Suicide – My Near Death Divorce says, “Love yourself first. Self-love is the first love. If we do not honor, respect, value and appreciate ourselves, no one else will. Our partner will only mirror back to us how we feel about ourselves. We must look within for our own happiness and fulfillment first and not make the mistake of relying on someone else to make us happy.”

A strong relationship involves two people with high self-esteem, who feel good about themselves and don’t allow one personality to overshadow the other.

6. Have great communication skills

Arguably, one of the most important features in a healthy relationship is good communication skills. If one partner tends to shut down, yell or become passive-aggressive during a discussion or argument, then they make communication almost impossible. Both partners should be able to communicate openly and clearly, even when they’re having an argument or disagreeing with one another without resorting to childish tactics.

7. Keeping sexual intimacy alive

Being in a relationship often involves sex. Both partner should have a compatibility in their sexual desires, values and preferences. Physical attraction on parts of both parties is also fairly important.

Licensed individual, couples, and sex therapist Sari Cooper says, “Many times people become increasingly shy with the person they love the more time goes by. Partners begin to take their love for granted and forget to keep themselves turned on and to continue to seduce their partner. Keep your ‘sex esteem’ alive by keeping up certain practices on a regular basis. This allows you to remain vibrant, sexy, and engaged in your love life.”

It doesn’t feel good when your partner enjoys your personality but doesn’t find you physically attractive, or finds you lacking. Both partners should be sexually compatible and physically attracted to one another.

8. Share similar values

Both partners don’t have to have identical values, but having similar values will make the relationship a lot stronger than if they hadn’t. Having complementary or compatible values when it comes to things like the relationship itself, or parenting children, will keep the relationship strong. If one partner believes in spanking and the other doesn’t, it can cause contention within the relationship.

9. Have patience

Not everyone can have the patience of a saint all the time, but having patience for your partner means that the relationship will stay strong even during the most stressful of times. Knowing that your partner is coming from a place of good faith, even when they mess up, will make dealing with the fall out much easier and keep the relationship healthy.

10. Spending quality time together

Even if your work schedules are opposite of one another, or if you’re too busy to spend as much time together as you want, being able to manage your time and set aside an evening to spend with your partner will make sure that the relationship stays as strong as it should be. Not spending enough time together can cause both partners to feel neglected and upset.

Matrimonial attorney Regina A. DeMeo says, “Don’t take your love for granted. Love is like a plant, it needs to be nurtured so it will continue to grow. Without water and sunlight, it will die. This is why it is so important to make time for things like date night, whether it is once a week or once a month. The key is to continue to make the other one feel special and loved — to enjoy each other’s company and have fun.”

Final thoughts

Not all relationships look the same, but all strong and unbreakable relationships share these qualities. A relationship can sometimes be a lot of work, but they’re supposed to bring you a sense of support and joy. Strong relationships come from a place of commitment to making it work, understanding, communication and a lot of love! If you’re looking to make sure your relationship stays good for the long haul, make sure it checks off all the qualities of an unbreakable relationship.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

References:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201506/5-ways-build-trust-and-honesty-in-your-relationship
https://www.bustle.com/articles/129165-this-is-the-best-love-advice-according-to-13-relationship-experts
https://greatist.com/play/best-relationship-advice

The post 10 Signs Your Relationship Is Unbreakable appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.

Source – powerofpositivity.com

Harvey Weinstein: Oscars board expels producer over sexual assault allegations

The organisation behind the Oscars has voted to expel Harvey Weinstein following numerous allegations of sexual assault made against the film producer.

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences said its board "voted well in excess of the required two-thirds majority" to expel him.

Its members include Hollywood figures such as Tom Hanks and Whoopi Goldberg.

Weinstein's films have received more than 300 Oscar nominations and won 81.

In a statement, the Academy said governors voted to expel Weinstein "not simply to separate ourselves from someone who does not merit the respect of his colleagues but also to send a message that the era of wilful ignorance and shameful complicity in sexually predatory behaviour and workplace harassment in our industry is over".

They added: "What's at issue here is a deeply troubling problem that has no place in our society."

• Exploring the casting couch culture of LA
• Harvey Weinstein: The accusers' stories
• Women in his own words

The emergency board meeting followed an avalanche of accusations against the producer by more than two dozen women, including actresses Angelina Jolie, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Rose McGowan, who alleges that he raped her in a hotel room.

Police forces in the US and the UK are investigating the allegations.

Weinstein, 65, has apologised for some aspects of his behaviour but insisted that any sexual contacts he had were consensual, and he denies accusations of criminal sexual harassment, rape and sexual assault.

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The expulsion comes after Bob Weinstein told the Hollywood Reporter that his "sick and depraved" brother should be "kicked out" of the Academy.

Filmmaker Woody Allen told the BBC the scandal was "very sad for everybody involved".

"Tragic for all women involved and sad for Harvey. The whole situation is very sad. There are no winners in that," he said in New York.

Weinstein's expulsion means he will no longer be able to vote for nominees or winners in the Oscars.

Hollywood figures were quick to praise the move but some have called for the Academy to take similar action against other members.

Where does the Academy go from here?

By the BBC's Laura Bicker in Los Angeles

The Academy is trying to send a message that the casting couch culture that has been talked about in this industry for so long is over.

This is a key moment for an industry which stands accused of developing a culture that makes women feel that exploitation is a price to pay to get a job.

But in voting to expel Harvey Weinstein, the Academy has a problem.

If Weinstein is indeed the tip of the iceberg, as many industry insiders have said, what do they do about other members who have been accused of sexual assault, such as Bill Cosby and Roman Polanski? As many people who have spoken to me here have said, the Academy condemnation cannot stop here.

It is only the second time a member has been expelled. Actor Carmine Caridi had his membership revoked in 2004 after he allegedly sent confidential film preview videos to a friend which ended up online.

As the co-founder of Miramax Pictures and the Weinstein Company, Harvey Weinstein produced some of cinema's most celebrated films, including Pulp Fiction, The English Patient, and Shakespeare in Love.

He has been thanked dozens of times in Oscar acceptance speeches, and in 2012 the actress Meryl Streep jokingly referred to him as "God" onstage.

• Amol Rajan: The horror of Weinstein's casting couch
• A history of Hollywood sex scandals
• Matt Damon denies 'killing' 2004 Weinstein story

But as accusations against Weinstein began to mount in recent days, film industry heavyweights came out to publicly condemn him and the British Academy of Film and Television Arts (Bafta) suspended his membership.

The French government is reportedly considering revoking his Legion of Honour, France's highest civilian distinction, and there have been calls from some British politicians for his honorary CBE title to be revoked.

'Sick and depraved'

Speaking to the Hollywood Reporter, Bob Weinstein called his brother "sick and depraved" and said he had no idea of "the type of predator that he was".

He refused to comment on reports that he and the board of Weinstein Company were aware of Weinstein's settlements with women during recent contract negotiations, saying only that the board "did not know the extent of my brother's actions".

He went on to call his brother's apology statement "utter insanity" and a "lame excuse".

"I'll tell you what I did know," he said. "Harvey was a bully, Harvey was arrogant…that I knew".

Earlier, Bob Weinstein denied media reports that the Weinstein Company – which has placed Harvey Weinstein on indefinite leave – could now be closed or sold.

But several large film projects have been pulled from the company already, and reports in the Los Angeles Times and Wall Street Journal said that financers had begun to pressure the board to sell.

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Weinstein has denied allegations of rape detailed in The New Yorker magazine, saying that there were no acts of non-consensual sex.

His wife Georgina Chapman said on Tuesday that she was leaving him.

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Source – bbc.com

No one would include facing their darkest emotions in a day of pampering, but researchers say doing that is the key to our happiness. Often, our emotions in the darkest times of our lives are something we might try to avoid dealing with in favor of the lighter moments, but we can’t always have sunshine and flowers. Here is the research behind why you can’t be happy until you get to know your darkest emotions a little better.

Healing our darkest emotions to heal our bodies

The body may store our darkest emotions as pain locations throughout the body. Facing our negative emotions may help release stored emotional and physical pain from the body. In previous articles, we have explored acupressure and tapping energy meridians on the body to release any stored negative emotions, which can lead us to feel actual physical pain.

Learning about our hidden negative emotions may help us to find relief from physical joint pain, headaches, muscle tension, and many other ailments that could be a result of suppressed or blocked emotions.

How to manage your darkest emotions

Coping is when we take action under stress and a lack of coping is when we fail to act under stress. Emotion regulation is what we do to try to work through our negative emotions. Emotion regulation is different from coping in that it can be either involuntary responses that our body has or an intentional action that we make.

Research in the Australian journal of Psychology looked at coping with our darkest emotions and how we try to manage them when we have these deep uncomfortable feelings. They found three emotion regulation skills to help us manage these disturbing feelings; acceptance, cognitive distancing, and cognitive change.

Acceptance training exercises help people be aware of emotions, physical sensations, and cognitive sensations. Cognitive distancing is taught through perspective taking, for example, seeing the events as a narrator of your story would. The cognitive change component of the training encourages a “self-compassionate” perspective by imagining that you are telling a very caring person about your darkest thoughts and feelings. You can also use the imaginary listener to speak to you and remind you of your strengths and coping abilities.

How to accept your darkest emotions

When we fear our emotional state or judge it to be unacceptable, we reject a part of ourselves. Our emotions are a primal part of us. The way our bodies feel as we flush with shame after an embarrassing incident may not be within our control. Instead of accepting the physiological response of blushing in embarrassment, we tend to dissociate from this emotion because it has negative associations that make us feel bad. However, researchers now believe that denial of our negative emotions prevents us from being happy.

UC Berkeley researchers studied the hypothesis that acceptance of our darkest emotions is linked with greater psychological health because acceptance helps keep us from reacting to negative mental experiences. Accepting negative emotional states prevents them being labeled as negative. We accept them for what they are without judging them to be good or bad. The research found that by practicing acceptance of our darkest emotions, we experience a decrease in the bad associations that we have with those emotions and improve our psychological health.

People who are truly happy may habitually accept their emotions and thoughts without judging them. This process is called habitual acceptance. Acknowledging that we have had a negative or dark emotion like fear, anger, jealousy, resentment, frustration, revulsion, etc. is the first part of acceptance. We are not capable of always thinking or feeling positive emotions like joy. Acceptance that we are human and that we sometimes feel dark emotions is the way to face them so that we can be happy.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

Sources:
https://themindsjournal.com/embracing-your-darkest-emotions/
Berkeley study The Psychological Health Benefits of Accepting Negative Emotions and Thoughts: Laboratory, Diary, and Longitudinal Evidence.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28703602
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4038902/

The post Researchers Explain Why You Must Face Your Darkest Emotions to Be Happy appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.

Source – powerofpositivity.com

Kyrgyzstan to choose new president in historic election

The central Asian country of Kyrgyzstan will choose a new president on Sunday in elections that are unusual in the region for being unpredictable.

One of the front runners, Sooronbai Jeenbekov, is backed by outgoing leader Almazbek Atambayev, who is reaching the end of a six-year term.

He and the other favourite, Omurbek Babanov, are former prime ministers.

Western diplomats are "inclined to believe" the election will be free and fair, says a BBC correspondent.

But since the beginning of the campaign, there have been numerous reports of violations by various candidates.

• Kyrgyzstan election: A historic vote, but is it fair?
• Kyrgyzstan profile
• President's daughter in breastfeeding row

Kyrgyzstan, which has been independent since the fall of the Soviet Union, is a nation of six million people. Its first two post-Soviet presidents were swept from power by popular discontent.

The poll is historic because for the first time in the history of Kyrgyzstan an elected president is due to peacefully hand over power after the election, says BBC Central Asia reporter Abdujalil Abdurasulov.

However, the election been overshadowed by a row over alleged interference from neighbouring Kazakhstan.

Mr Atambayev angered Astana by saying Mr Babanov, a charismatic businessman who made his money there, was the Kazakh choice for the new president. He has denied that he is backed by them.

In response Kazakhstan tightened customs checks at the border, leading to long queues.

The country's presidents are restricted to a single six-year term under a constitution that has been in force since 2010.

Source – bbc.com

Harvey Weinstein: Oscars board votes to expel producer

The organisation behind the Oscars has voted to expel Harvey Weinstein following numerous allegations of sexual assault made against the film producer.

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences said its board "voted well in excess of the required two-thirds majority" to expel him.

Its members include Hollywood figures such as Tom Hanks and Whoopi Goldberg.

Weinstein's films have received more than 300 Oscar nominations and won 81.

The emergency board meeting followed an avalanche of accusations against the producer by more than two dozen women, including actresses Angelina Jolie, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Rose McGowan, who alleges that he raped her in a hotel room.

Police forces in the US and the UK are investigating the allegations.

Weinstein has insisted through a spokeswoman that any sexual contacts he had were consensual, and he denies accusations of criminal sexual harassment, rape and sexual assault.

• Harvey Weinstein: The accusers' stories
• Harvey Weinstein: Women in his own words
• The horror of Weinstein's casting couch
• A history of Hollywood sex scandals
• Matt Damon denies 'killing' 2004 Weinstein story

In a statement, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences said they voted to expel Weinstein "not simply to separate ourselves from someone who does not merit the respect of his colleagues but also to send a message that the era of wilful ignorance and shameful complicity in sexually predatory behaviour and workplace harassment in our industry is over."

They added: "What's at issue here is a deeply troubling problem that has no place in our society."

Media playback is unsupported on your device

As the co-founder of Miramax Pictures and the Weinstein Company, Weinstein produced some of cinema's most celebrated films, including Pulp Fiction, The English Patient, and Shakespeare in Love.

The British Academy Film Awards (Bafta) earlier suspended the disgraced mogul.

President Pierre Lescure, the president of the Cannes Film Festival, where Weinstein was a regular, said the organisation was "dismayed to learn of the accusations".

'Sick and depraved' brother

Speaking to the Hollywood Reporter, Bob Weinstein called his brother "sick and depraved" and said he had no idea of "the type of predator that he was".

He refused to comment on reports that he and the board of Weinstein Company were aware of Weinstein's settlements with women during recent contract negotiations, saying only that the board "did not know the extent of my brother's actions".

He went on to call his brother's apology statement "utter insanity" and a "lame excuse".

"I'll tell you what I did know," he said. "Harvey was a bully, Harvey was arrogant…that I knew".

Earlier, Bob Weinstein denied media reports that the Weinstein Company – which has placed Harvey Weinstein on indefinite leave – could now be closed or sold.

But several large film projects have been pulled from the company already, and reports in the Los Angeles Times and Wall Street Journal said that financers had begun to pressure the board to sell.

Media playback is unsupported on your device

Weinstein has denied allegations of rape detailed in The New Yorker magazine, saying that there were no acts of non-consensual sex.

His wife Georgina Chapman said on Tuesday that she was leaving him.

On Wednesday, US prosecutors defended their decision not to take action against Weinstein in 2015 after Italian model Ambra Battilana Gutierrez, then 22, alleged that he had touched her inappropriately.

A subsequent sting operation recorded the producer repeatedly attempting to coerce Battilana Gutierrez, but the Manhattan district attorney's office said the audio was "insufficient to prove a crime".

Source – bbc.com